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S8 fic: The Girl in Question II
Well... it *is* a 'season 8' fic, but (as you can probably tell from the title) it is an Angel-centric story. Partly because I couldn't think of anything interesting to tell with the s8 characters on their own, and partly because he's a very handy tool for highlighting some of my problems with s8... That said, I don't think this can be labelled mock!fic or crack!fic (although it certainly is crack-tastic in places - remember what ep I'm name-checking! I had SO much fun writing...). Oh and I'm not trying to put the s8 characters in a bad light (I mean it's not *their* fault that they're where they are) - Angel probably comes off worse. ;)
Anyway, I hope you enjoy! (Oh and there are shout-outs to both S:SP #1 and Jane E's blog! *g*)
ETA: No knowledge of the comics needed.
Title: The Girl in Question II
Setting: Between TGiQ and 'Power Play' (there was at least a month between them, probably more). Issues 1-4 of s8 have already taken place.
Spoilers: Most of s8, including #7 (but don't let that put you off! *g*)
Summary: What if Spike and Angel *did* find Buffy?
Rating: PG? Some bad language.
Genre: Gen. Nods to various 'ships, but no threesomes, sorry! ;)
Wordcount: Almost 3500. How did that happen? And I could have put in lots more...
Feedback: Oh yes! That would be great! *begs sweetly*
The Girl in Question II
Angel had read the report three times, and he was still unsure how to proceed. With a sigh he gave up pretending that he could work it out on his own and buzzed Harmony, asking her to get hold of Spike. And to tell him it was urgent!
5 minutes later Spike showed up, saying that he only came because he was bored. Wordlessly Angel handed him the folder. Spike shot him a look, then sat down on one of the sofas and read.
When he was finished, he slowly looked up. “Where’d you get this? Reliable source?”
Angel shook his head, still recalling Derek’s enigmatic smile as he had given him the report. “Really shouldn’t be showing you this, but thought you might be interested...” And then he’d winked in a way that Angel didn’t like at all.
Spike thought for a moment, then shook his head. “It’s a trap!”
Angel’s thoughts had been going in that direction too, but still he asked, “How can you be sure?”
Spike smiled. “According to this, Buffy has spent the last year living in a secluded castle in Scotland, which is just...” He chuckled. “I mean the shopping is better in the Deeper Well!”
Then he threw the dossier back to Angel and continued.
“See they saw you run off like a headless, love-struck chicken when you found out that she was dating the bloody Immortal, so they’ve cooked up this whole little scenario about military types being after her to get you to run off to save Rapunzel again. Thing is of course, that clearly they don’t know that she’d never move that far away from civilisation.”
Angel nodded. “Good point.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, then Spike looked up, a twinkle in his eyes that Angel knew far too well. “But - since we know it’s a trap, we could hop across the pond and surprise whoever is waiting, yeah? Borrow a swat-team from W&H in London or something, make a day of it - or night...”
He frowned as he tried to calculate the time difference. Angel tapped his fingers on the desk, pondering. “I have a really important meeting tomorrow morning...”
Spike grinned. “C’mon! Only 4 hours each way! We can get there, have fun choppin’ some heads off and be back before breakfast. And you seriously need to get out - you’ve barely left the office for weeks!”
Angel couldn’t stop himself from smiling back. He really could do with a break...
***
Buffy was having a nice, dream-free sleep, when she suddenly woke up, staring around the quiet room, heart beating wildly. Something had woken her - some premonition or... A second later her large bedroom window smashed to pieces, as two black clad figures crashed through.
***
Angel looked around the dark room, shook off the glass splinters, and then noticed the woman sat up in the bed... Young, blonde, and her scent-
“Buffy?” he said, surprised, and he could see her looking from him to Spike and back again, trying to make them out against the darkness of the room.
“Angel?” she asked, clearly thrown, and he dragged a hand through his hair. What now?
After a moment’s hesitation he brought up his wrist and spoke into his comm-unit: “All units on standby until further notice,” - and then the door burst open. Someone pressed a light switch, and Angel saw Xander, Willow and a gaggle of sleepy Slayers, in various states of undress, staring at himself and Spike with undiluted astonishment.
“OK - what is going on?” Buffy asked, and Angel shook his head. “Just what I was about to say...” He stepped a little closer, scrutinising her. “Are you the real Buffy?”
“Of course she’s the real Buffy!” Xander replied, indignantly.
Angel shot Spike a look - this was not what they had expected. Then suddenly Spike grinned. “I’ve got it!” Turning to Buffy, he shot her a look that Angel really didn’t like at all. “If you’re the really real Buffy, then surely you’ll remember what happened that time you were invisible...”
He let the sentence hang, unfinished, and Buffy’s eyes grew very wide, before she shot Xander a swift look and her cheeks went scarlet.
Spike smiled triumphantly. “Yup! That’s her all right. Guess you better call off the troops.”
Angel sighed, and pressed the communication button again. “This is Angel. All units stand down. Understood?”
Willow was staring at him with wide eyes. “You have... troops? But... why didn’t my alarms go off?”
He smiled - somewhat smugly he had to admit. “Brought along two warlocks, a shaman, a seer and five IT experts. Couldn’t undo your alarms, just delayed them by 10 minutes”
“Oh...” she said, but whatever she was about to say next was cut off by Buffy who was busy pulling on a dressing gown. (This was a great shame, because her nighty was a tiny little silky thing that Angel wouldn’t have minded silently admiring for a little longer. She never used to wear stuff like that back when they’d been dating.)
“Right - so are you going to explain why you burst through my window in the middle of the night? Presuming you have an explanation?”
The look on her face made it pretty clear that she didn’t think this very likely.
“Well - we thought it was a trap,” Angel answered, and Spike nodded, then continued. “I mean seriously pet - you gonna tell us that you’ve lived here for the past year? Even Dru got bored out of her mind after two weeks... and I’m presuming you’ve not got pixies to talk to.”
Buffy bit her lip. “We needed somewhere out of the way to train the girls and Giles suggested this...”
Her voice trailed off, and then her eyes widened as Illyria appeared in the doorway. The blue-tinted God, as usual spotting the leader in an instant, fixed Buffy with one of her intense looks, declaring: “You have a giant. I approve.”
At this Buffy’s mouth fell open and she turned back to Angel, speechless.
“Um... this is Illyria,” he explained, “She’s... with us.”
Illyria’s head swivelled round, and she did what passed for a frown. It was hard to tell since she always looked disapproving.
“I am not with you, vampire. I merely chose to come along for my own amusement.” She looked around at the room. “This place is old. Much blood was shed here. I like it. I will continue to explore.”
She turned, but was faced with three young Slayers, blocking the door.
“Oh-” Spike called out, “don’t-”
But it was too late. In a flash Illyria had swatted them out of the way, but then found the open door had grown an invisible barrier thanks to Willow. She stopped, then slowly turned her head, a small smile on her lips. “Almost impressive” she said, then punched a hole in the wall and left - leaving Willow gaping.
Buffy was halfway across the room, but Angel stopped her. “Just let her go, she’ll be fine.”
“What-” she stared up into his face. “What is she?”
“Hellgod!” Spike helpfully filled in. “She wanted to come along for a laugh...” He pulled a face. “It’s a long story.”
Buffy was staring from one to the other, incredulous. “You - you brought a hellgod with you?”
“Why not?” Spike replied. “As Angel said, we thought it was a trap. I mean... you living here, and that whole thing with this General Vot’s-his-name and kidnapping Willow...”
Looking from face to face, it was obvious that the report had been true, word for word.
“How... how do you know all this?” Buffy asked carefully.
“An acquaintance gave me a tip-off... probably thought you’d stake me. He’d like that.” Angel frowned and pulled out the report from his pocket, leafing through it. “Seriously though, this is all true? The whole Twilight cult and everything?”
“That’s what they’re called?” Buffy asked, a need for information swiftly asserting itself.
“Well I’ve got the Cliff notes here if you want them...” he held out the papers and Buffy eagerly snatched them. “Course I could get you the General himself if you like?”
Willow cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow. “Gee that’s nice of you, but... no one would notice that he went missing?”
He shrugged. “Well someone might notice, but they wouldn’t be able to do anything.”
“But...” Willow frowned, obviously intrigued. “What about the police? Do you bribe them or what?”
Angel chuckled and swept them all up in a sardonic look. “I don’t need to bribe them, I own them.” He spread his arms. “I’m the CEO of W&H, I can do what I want - simply put, I am the system.”
He’d always wanted to use that line. Possibly not on this particular audience, but beggars couldn’t be choosers - and hopefully it wouldn’t be long before the words would be literally true... and he could try to smash the system from the inside.
Xander pulled a face. “You know it’s funny - every time we meet I am reminded all over again why I don’t like you.”
Angel looked at him and drolly replied, “Please remind me why I should care?”
He could hear Spike’s stifled snickering, but mostly he noticed Buffy’s unhappy face, as she handed the papers back. “Sorry. Can’t... can’t accept this.”
He sighed. “Not on the same side, I know. But-” he pulled a hand through his hair. “Please keep it. You took the amulet that time, and that came in handy, remember? They’re dangerous, and you need this. For a start they’re grooming this Slayer - Lady Genevieve Savidge - for something or other, and she’s out to kill you.”
Buffy slowly nodded. “OK.” Looking somewhat uncomfortable, she then added, “Thank you.”
He looked at her, and wondered yet again how she could look so vulnerable, and yet so strong at the same time.
“Don’t suppose you’ll let me help at all?” he asked, and she mutely shook her head. He’d not expected any different. Still...
“Fine. But-” He caught her eyes. “If they hurt you at all, I’m wiping them off the face of the earth. Just so you know.”
Her eyes widened, incredulous. “Jeez Angel, overprotective much?”
“Yeah,” Xander joined in, “If you’re trying to impress the lady then I think you’re a few years and one evil law firm too late!”
Angel glared - nearly ten years since they first met, and still the boy annoyed him. “I already have a girlfriend, kid, so calm down. It’s just that I could take these guys out fairly easily...”
He stopped and thought it through some more. It’d actually be a bit of fun for once - Gunn and Wesley could do their research thing, and Spike and Illyria could do lots of violence, and everyone would happy fighting the good fight and hopefully not pay attention to all the shady deals he was doing. And he’d get one up on Derek in the process.
“You know what... I might just do it anyway. No reason you should have a headache like this distracting you. Heck, the Senior Partners will probably even approve - they don’t like idiot cults to run around unchecked!”
Buffy looked confused. “Sorry - but I thought they - W&H they - were like - the ultimate evil? Wouldn’t they be happy that someone tried to get rid of us?”
“Oh no,” Angel shook his head, “they’re very pleased since you’re taking out a lot of the opposition. Enemy of my enemy and all that. If however you ever tried to become an evil overlord, like this Voll appears to think you will, they’d get rid of you in a heartbeat.” He tilted his head, calculating. “Shouldn’t be more than a morning’s work, all told.”
“A... a what? You think you could take out all my Slayers in a morning?”
Oh she was seriously offended now. Angel shrugged, a little apologetically. “Well you’re all lumped together - 50 in a squad I think it was? That’s only 10 bases to take out, which really would be very simple... bombs might do it, although...”
He frowned and tried to remember a conversation from a few months previously. “I think I also have some sort of death ray I can fire from space. Not quite sure about how that one works, but I doubt even magic would be able to stop it.”
Buffy was staring at him, obviously trying to wrap her brain around his words.
“So... what you’re saying is that they *allow* us to exist?”
He sighed. “Pretty much. As long as you don’t go after their bigger clients... which I doubt you can, since they are smart and never leave a trail. Look... Buffy...” He caught her eyes, hoping to get through her hostility. “What you do is very important. The world needs you, needs people who fight the good fight every day, saving people.”
Then he looked at his watch and sighed again. “Damn - I should probably be getting back - important meeting in the morning. Spike?”
Spike didn’t look pleased. “Already? But we came all this way and didn’t even get a decent fight! Can’t you call off your meeting and we could go find some nasties somewhere else?”
Angel shook his head. “Fraid I can’t cancel on the Governor of California.”
Willow’s eyes went wide. “You mean... Arnold Schwarzenegger?”
He nodded, and smiled a little. “Want an autograph? I’m already getting one for my girlfriend’s niece, promise it won’t be a problem.”
“No, but...” she frowned. “Is he evil?”
Angel shrugged. “Not precisely, but how do you think he won? Hell, how do you think George Bush became President?”
This had obviously never occurred to them before. He pressed a button on his communication thingy, hoping he got the right one.
“Richardson, where are you?” He listened to the reply, then nodded. “OK, we’ll see you there in a minute.” He looked up. “Can you locate Illyria for us?”
Willow nodded and left, and Spike suddenly looked almost shy. “Goodbye Buffy,” he said, swiftly meeting her eyes and then looking down.
She was obviously just as uncomfortable. “Do you... I mean are you working for the Evil Empire too?”
“What? No! I just... lend a hand. Try to remind them what a real hero looks like.” Then, almost falling over the words, he added, “So how long have you known that I was alive? Less dead... whatever.”
“Since Andrew came back that time...” She looked down, played with the belt on her robe. “So - why did you never tell me?”
“Well... I was a ghost for half a year! And then...” he looked sheepish and obviously wished that they didn’t have an audience. “What would I say? Figured you were off somewhere living your life. Moving on.”
There was an awkward pause, then Buffy said, “Would... would you like to stay... here?”
“Stay?” Spike said, eyebrows rising and looking rather stunned. Angel felt like holding his breath. If he’d had any. This was Rome all over again, except...
Then Spike smiled a tiny smile, and shook his head. “Think I’ve done my stint as live-in vampire in the Slayer sorority house. And it’s not like you need more fighters, is it? But...” he shot her a look from under his eyelashes, “If you ever feel like comin’ to LA, just give us a shout - could... take you out shopping and tear up Mr Broody’s expense account or something?”
Buffy’s response was a befuddled “Huh?”, but Angel vehemently shook his head. “No! No shopping!”
Spike studied him drolly. “You took Cordelia shopping!”
“But - that was Cordelia. It was different!” Angel was unwilling to expand upon how this was different, and so continued. “And anyway, that was before Illyria wrecked my budget!”
At this Buffy’s jaw dropped. “You... you took that hellgod thing shopping?”
“What? No!” He shook his head again, then tried to explain. “She destroyed 11 tortu... holding dimensions and a whole bunch of other stuff. I’m in seriously the red and I can’t afford to spend money on frivolities.”
(Although, he thought to himself, he really had to get Nina a silk negligé. And - he’d not only be able to freely admire it for as long as he liked, but also remove it again... Oh he’d definitely have to ask Harmony to get one first thing tomorrow.)
Mind thus happily occupied, he almost missed Spike’s comment.
“Says the man with 12 cars,” Spike remarked, raising an eyebrow. “You always were and always will be a cheapskate, Angel!”
Angel didn’t like Spike’s tone of voice one bit. “Look - it’s not like she needs it,” he waved a hand towards Buffy, “she’s obviously not short of money! Hell she’s got more helicopters than I!”
At this Spike just shrugged and let the matter drop. “Whatever. Buffy...” he shot her a look so loaded that Angel was surprised it didn’t drop through the floor, “it was... good to see you.”
“But-” Buffy was looking from Spike to Angel and back again. “You’re really going back with him? When did you two become bestest friends?”
Spike choked. “Um... we’re... really not. It’s just that... there’s this... thing that I promised to help with. And... it’s kinda important.”
He shot Angel a look, and Angel swiftly nodded. “Yeah, the thing. That’s right.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed, and Angel braced himself for a barrage of questions that he’d have to refuse to answer, but thankfully at that moment Willow returned with Illyria.
Then they all did an uncomfortable round of goodbyes, and Buffy dragged Spike off into a corner and spoke to him very quietly and Angel could feel himself start to glower.
Shortly afterwards however they were back on the plane, Spike rummaging through the cabinets, unearthing several large bottles of whiskey and approving loudly.
Angel watched him happily fill a glass, then asked, because he had to know.
“Why didn’t you stay?”
Spike took a sip of the drink, closing his eyes and not answering for a long while.
“Well... I had all these ideas of how things would go if we ever met again-” he shot Angel a look, worried that he’d revealed too much, but Angel just nodded. “An’ then... it all turned out all different. I... I couldn’t work out what she really wanted. I’m not even sure that she knew what she wanted. And...” he smiled a little. “There’s ‘the thing’. Not gonna run out on you - I know you’re short on people.”
Angel suddenly had to swallow hard. In his head he could still clearly hear Spike’s words...
“This is what she would have wanted. It's what I want. I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important, what's happening here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine.”
“You might get killed,” he said, trying not to let his emotions show.
“Yeah,” Spike replied. “Who knows - maybe third time’s the lucky time, eh?”
He shot Angel a lopsided smile, and then continued swiftly. “And also... there were just too many Slayers. As I said, I’ve done it before, and damn - being stuck in a house with that many women ain’t exactly paradise, trust me!” Taking another sip, he added. “Also - not a pub around for miles. I’d go crazy within the week!”
“I see,” Angel said. “You’re... ‘moving on’ then?”
“Well... she did give me her phone number!” Spike grinned, and silently Angel reached out for the bottle.
After a little while Spike looked up again, a wicked glint in his eyes. “So... what do you say that tomorrow night we go to Italy and kill Andrew?”
A slow smile spread across Angel’s face. “Sounds... brilliant, to be honest. Although we really ought to torture him first!”
“Of course!” Spike leaned forwards. “Now what I was thinking was-”
The rest of the flight was very enjoyable indeed.
***
However, the next morning Angel had a hangover so bad not even the green doctor with the tentacles could help him.
As he slowly made his way to his meeting, Angel thought to himself that even when he got along with Spike, he ended up in pain. There was probably some sort of moral to be found in this, but his head hurt too much to work it out.
And it *really* didn’t help that Mr Schwarzenegger appeared to be around 10 feet tall.
But... on the plus side Buffy wasn’t dating the Immortal, and as a matter of fact was as close to being locked up in a box as was realistically possible.
This made him smile for the rest of the day.
The End.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy! (Oh and there are shout-outs to both S:SP #1 and Jane E's blog! *g*)
ETA: No knowledge of the comics needed.
Title: The Girl in Question II
Setting: Between TGiQ and 'Power Play' (there was at least a month between them, probably more). Issues 1-4 of s8 have already taken place.
Spoilers: Most of s8, including #7 (but don't let that put you off! *g*)
Summary: What if Spike and Angel *did* find Buffy?
Rating: PG? Some bad language.
Genre: Gen. Nods to various 'ships, but no threesomes, sorry! ;)
Wordcount: Almost 3500. How did that happen? And I could have put in lots more...
Feedback: Oh yes! That would be great! *begs sweetly*
Angel had read the report three times, and he was still unsure how to proceed. With a sigh he gave up pretending that he could work it out on his own and buzzed Harmony, asking her to get hold of Spike. And to tell him it was urgent!
5 minutes later Spike showed up, saying that he only came because he was bored. Wordlessly Angel handed him the folder. Spike shot him a look, then sat down on one of the sofas and read.
When he was finished, he slowly looked up. “Where’d you get this? Reliable source?”
Angel shook his head, still recalling Derek’s enigmatic smile as he had given him the report. “Really shouldn’t be showing you this, but thought you might be interested...” And then he’d winked in a way that Angel didn’t like at all.
Spike thought for a moment, then shook his head. “It’s a trap!”
Angel’s thoughts had been going in that direction too, but still he asked, “How can you be sure?”
Spike smiled. “According to this, Buffy has spent the last year living in a secluded castle in Scotland, which is just...” He chuckled. “I mean the shopping is better in the Deeper Well!”
Then he threw the dossier back to Angel and continued.
“See they saw you run off like a headless, love-struck chicken when you found out that she was dating the bloody Immortal, so they’ve cooked up this whole little scenario about military types being after her to get you to run off to save Rapunzel again. Thing is of course, that clearly they don’t know that she’d never move that far away from civilisation.”
Angel nodded. “Good point.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, then Spike looked up, a twinkle in his eyes that Angel knew far too well. “But - since we know it’s a trap, we could hop across the pond and surprise whoever is waiting, yeah? Borrow a swat-team from W&H in London or something, make a day of it - or night...”
He frowned as he tried to calculate the time difference. Angel tapped his fingers on the desk, pondering. “I have a really important meeting tomorrow morning...”
Spike grinned. “C’mon! Only 4 hours each way! We can get there, have fun choppin’ some heads off and be back before breakfast. And you seriously need to get out - you’ve barely left the office for weeks!”
Angel couldn’t stop himself from smiling back. He really could do with a break...
Buffy was having a nice, dream-free sleep, when she suddenly woke up, staring around the quiet room, heart beating wildly. Something had woken her - some premonition or... A second later her large bedroom window smashed to pieces, as two black clad figures crashed through.
Angel looked around the dark room, shook off the glass splinters, and then noticed the woman sat up in the bed... Young, blonde, and her scent-
“Buffy?” he said, surprised, and he could see her looking from him to Spike and back again, trying to make them out against the darkness of the room.
“Angel?” she asked, clearly thrown, and he dragged a hand through his hair. What now?
After a moment’s hesitation he brought up his wrist and spoke into his comm-unit: “All units on standby until further notice,” - and then the door burst open. Someone pressed a light switch, and Angel saw Xander, Willow and a gaggle of sleepy Slayers, in various states of undress, staring at himself and Spike with undiluted astonishment.
“OK - what is going on?” Buffy asked, and Angel shook his head. “Just what I was about to say...” He stepped a little closer, scrutinising her. “Are you the real Buffy?”
“Of course she’s the real Buffy!” Xander replied, indignantly.
Angel shot Spike a look - this was not what they had expected. Then suddenly Spike grinned. “I’ve got it!” Turning to Buffy, he shot her a look that Angel really didn’t like at all. “If you’re the really real Buffy, then surely you’ll remember what happened that time you were invisible...”
He let the sentence hang, unfinished, and Buffy’s eyes grew very wide, before she shot Xander a swift look and her cheeks went scarlet.
Spike smiled triumphantly. “Yup! That’s her all right. Guess you better call off the troops.”
Angel sighed, and pressed the communication button again. “This is Angel. All units stand down. Understood?”
Willow was staring at him with wide eyes. “You have... troops? But... why didn’t my alarms go off?”
He smiled - somewhat smugly he had to admit. “Brought along two warlocks, a shaman, a seer and five IT experts. Couldn’t undo your alarms, just delayed them by 10 minutes”
“Oh...” she said, but whatever she was about to say next was cut off by Buffy who was busy pulling on a dressing gown. (This was a great shame, because her nighty was a tiny little silky thing that Angel wouldn’t have minded silently admiring for a little longer. She never used to wear stuff like that back when they’d been dating.)
“Right - so are you going to explain why you burst through my window in the middle of the night? Presuming you have an explanation?”
The look on her face made it pretty clear that she didn’t think this very likely.
“Well - we thought it was a trap,” Angel answered, and Spike nodded, then continued. “I mean seriously pet - you gonna tell us that you’ve lived here for the past year? Even Dru got bored out of her mind after two weeks... and I’m presuming you’ve not got pixies to talk to.”
Buffy bit her lip. “We needed somewhere out of the way to train the girls and Giles suggested this...”
Her voice trailed off, and then her eyes widened as Illyria appeared in the doorway. The blue-tinted God, as usual spotting the leader in an instant, fixed Buffy with one of her intense looks, declaring: “You have a giant. I approve.”
At this Buffy’s mouth fell open and she turned back to Angel, speechless.
“Um... this is Illyria,” he explained, “She’s... with us.”
Illyria’s head swivelled round, and she did what passed for a frown. It was hard to tell since she always looked disapproving.
“I am not with you, vampire. I merely chose to come along for my own amusement.” She looked around at the room. “This place is old. Much blood was shed here. I like it. I will continue to explore.”
She turned, but was faced with three young Slayers, blocking the door.
“Oh-” Spike called out, “don’t-”
But it was too late. In a flash Illyria had swatted them out of the way, but then found the open door had grown an invisible barrier thanks to Willow. She stopped, then slowly turned her head, a small smile on her lips. “Almost impressive” she said, then punched a hole in the wall and left - leaving Willow gaping.
Buffy was halfway across the room, but Angel stopped her. “Just let her go, she’ll be fine.”
“What-” she stared up into his face. “What is she?”
“Hellgod!” Spike helpfully filled in. “She wanted to come along for a laugh...” He pulled a face. “It’s a long story.”
Buffy was staring from one to the other, incredulous. “You - you brought a hellgod with you?”
“Why not?” Spike replied. “As Angel said, we thought it was a trap. I mean... you living here, and that whole thing with this General Vot’s-his-name and kidnapping Willow...”
Looking from face to face, it was obvious that the report had been true, word for word.
“How... how do you know all this?” Buffy asked carefully.
“An acquaintance gave me a tip-off... probably thought you’d stake me. He’d like that.” Angel frowned and pulled out the report from his pocket, leafing through it. “Seriously though, this is all true? The whole Twilight cult and everything?”
“That’s what they’re called?” Buffy asked, a need for information swiftly asserting itself.
“Well I’ve got the Cliff notes here if you want them...” he held out the papers and Buffy eagerly snatched them. “Course I could get you the General himself if you like?”
Willow cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow. “Gee that’s nice of you, but... no one would notice that he went missing?”
He shrugged. “Well someone might notice, but they wouldn’t be able to do anything.”
“But...” Willow frowned, obviously intrigued. “What about the police? Do you bribe them or what?”
Angel chuckled and swept them all up in a sardonic look. “I don’t need to bribe them, I own them.” He spread his arms. “I’m the CEO of W&H, I can do what I want - simply put, I am the system.”
He’d always wanted to use that line. Possibly not on this particular audience, but beggars couldn’t be choosers - and hopefully it wouldn’t be long before the words would be literally true... and he could try to smash the system from the inside.
Xander pulled a face. “You know it’s funny - every time we meet I am reminded all over again why I don’t like you.”
Angel looked at him and drolly replied, “Please remind me why I should care?”
He could hear Spike’s stifled snickering, but mostly he noticed Buffy’s unhappy face, as she handed the papers back. “Sorry. Can’t... can’t accept this.”
He sighed. “Not on the same side, I know. But-” he pulled a hand through his hair. “Please keep it. You took the amulet that time, and that came in handy, remember? They’re dangerous, and you need this. For a start they’re grooming this Slayer - Lady Genevieve Savidge - for something or other, and she’s out to kill you.”
Buffy slowly nodded. “OK.” Looking somewhat uncomfortable, she then added, “Thank you.”
He looked at her, and wondered yet again how she could look so vulnerable, and yet so strong at the same time.
“Don’t suppose you’ll let me help at all?” he asked, and she mutely shook her head. He’d not expected any different. Still...
“Fine. But-” He caught her eyes. “If they hurt you at all, I’m wiping them off the face of the earth. Just so you know.”
Her eyes widened, incredulous. “Jeez Angel, overprotective much?”
“Yeah,” Xander joined in, “If you’re trying to impress the lady then I think you’re a few years and one evil law firm too late!”
Angel glared - nearly ten years since they first met, and still the boy annoyed him. “I already have a girlfriend, kid, so calm down. It’s just that I could take these guys out fairly easily...”
He stopped and thought it through some more. It’d actually be a bit of fun for once - Gunn and Wesley could do their research thing, and Spike and Illyria could do lots of violence, and everyone would happy fighting the good fight and hopefully not pay attention to all the shady deals he was doing. And he’d get one up on Derek in the process.
“You know what... I might just do it anyway. No reason you should have a headache like this distracting you. Heck, the Senior Partners will probably even approve - they don’t like idiot cults to run around unchecked!”
Buffy looked confused. “Sorry - but I thought they - W&H they - were like - the ultimate evil? Wouldn’t they be happy that someone tried to get rid of us?”
“Oh no,” Angel shook his head, “they’re very pleased since you’re taking out a lot of the opposition. Enemy of my enemy and all that. If however you ever tried to become an evil overlord, like this Voll appears to think you will, they’d get rid of you in a heartbeat.” He tilted his head, calculating. “Shouldn’t be more than a morning’s work, all told.”
“A... a what? You think you could take out all my Slayers in a morning?”
Oh she was seriously offended now. Angel shrugged, a little apologetically. “Well you’re all lumped together - 50 in a squad I think it was? That’s only 10 bases to take out, which really would be very simple... bombs might do it, although...”
He frowned and tried to remember a conversation from a few months previously. “I think I also have some sort of death ray I can fire from space. Not quite sure about how that one works, but I doubt even magic would be able to stop it.”
Buffy was staring at him, obviously trying to wrap her brain around his words.
“So... what you’re saying is that they *allow* us to exist?”
He sighed. “Pretty much. As long as you don’t go after their bigger clients... which I doubt you can, since they are smart and never leave a trail. Look... Buffy...” He caught her eyes, hoping to get through her hostility. “What you do is very important. The world needs you, needs people who fight the good fight every day, saving people.”
Then he looked at his watch and sighed again. “Damn - I should probably be getting back - important meeting in the morning. Spike?”
Spike didn’t look pleased. “Already? But we came all this way and didn’t even get a decent fight! Can’t you call off your meeting and we could go find some nasties somewhere else?”
Angel shook his head. “Fraid I can’t cancel on the Governor of California.”
Willow’s eyes went wide. “You mean... Arnold Schwarzenegger?”
He nodded, and smiled a little. “Want an autograph? I’m already getting one for my girlfriend’s niece, promise it won’t be a problem.”
“No, but...” she frowned. “Is he evil?”
Angel shrugged. “Not precisely, but how do you think he won? Hell, how do you think George Bush became President?”
This had obviously never occurred to them before. He pressed a button on his communication thingy, hoping he got the right one.
“Richardson, where are you?” He listened to the reply, then nodded. “OK, we’ll see you there in a minute.” He looked up. “Can you locate Illyria for us?”
Willow nodded and left, and Spike suddenly looked almost shy. “Goodbye Buffy,” he said, swiftly meeting her eyes and then looking down.
She was obviously just as uncomfortable. “Do you... I mean are you working for the Evil Empire too?”
“What? No! I just... lend a hand. Try to remind them what a real hero looks like.” Then, almost falling over the words, he added, “So how long have you known that I was alive? Less dead... whatever.”
“Since Andrew came back that time...” She looked down, played with the belt on her robe. “So - why did you never tell me?”
“Well... I was a ghost for half a year! And then...” he looked sheepish and obviously wished that they didn’t have an audience. “What would I say? Figured you were off somewhere living your life. Moving on.”
There was an awkward pause, then Buffy said, “Would... would you like to stay... here?”
“Stay?” Spike said, eyebrows rising and looking rather stunned. Angel felt like holding his breath. If he’d had any. This was Rome all over again, except...
Then Spike smiled a tiny smile, and shook his head. “Think I’ve done my stint as live-in vampire in the Slayer sorority house. And it’s not like you need more fighters, is it? But...” he shot her a look from under his eyelashes, “If you ever feel like comin’ to LA, just give us a shout - could... take you out shopping and tear up Mr Broody’s expense account or something?”
Buffy’s response was a befuddled “Huh?”, but Angel vehemently shook his head. “No! No shopping!”
Spike studied him drolly. “You took Cordelia shopping!”
“But - that was Cordelia. It was different!” Angel was unwilling to expand upon how this was different, and so continued. “And anyway, that was before Illyria wrecked my budget!”
At this Buffy’s jaw dropped. “You... you took that hellgod thing shopping?”
“What? No!” He shook his head again, then tried to explain. “She destroyed 11 tortu... holding dimensions and a whole bunch of other stuff. I’m in seriously the red and I can’t afford to spend money on frivolities.”
(Although, he thought to himself, he really had to get Nina a silk negligé. And - he’d not only be able to freely admire it for as long as he liked, but also remove it again... Oh he’d definitely have to ask Harmony to get one first thing tomorrow.)
Mind thus happily occupied, he almost missed Spike’s comment.
“Says the man with 12 cars,” Spike remarked, raising an eyebrow. “You always were and always will be a cheapskate, Angel!”
Angel didn’t like Spike’s tone of voice one bit. “Look - it’s not like she needs it,” he waved a hand towards Buffy, “she’s obviously not short of money! Hell she’s got more helicopters than I!”
At this Spike just shrugged and let the matter drop. “Whatever. Buffy...” he shot her a look so loaded that Angel was surprised it didn’t drop through the floor, “it was... good to see you.”
“But-” Buffy was looking from Spike to Angel and back again. “You’re really going back with him? When did you two become bestest friends?”
Spike choked. “Um... we’re... really not. It’s just that... there’s this... thing that I promised to help with. And... it’s kinda important.”
He shot Angel a look, and Angel swiftly nodded. “Yeah, the thing. That’s right.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed, and Angel braced himself for a barrage of questions that he’d have to refuse to answer, but thankfully at that moment Willow returned with Illyria.
Then they all did an uncomfortable round of goodbyes, and Buffy dragged Spike off into a corner and spoke to him very quietly and Angel could feel himself start to glower.
Shortly afterwards however they were back on the plane, Spike rummaging through the cabinets, unearthing several large bottles of whiskey and approving loudly.
Angel watched him happily fill a glass, then asked, because he had to know.
“Why didn’t you stay?”
Spike took a sip of the drink, closing his eyes and not answering for a long while.
“Well... I had all these ideas of how things would go if we ever met again-” he shot Angel a look, worried that he’d revealed too much, but Angel just nodded. “An’ then... it all turned out all different. I... I couldn’t work out what she really wanted. I’m not even sure that she knew what she wanted. And...” he smiled a little. “There’s ‘the thing’. Not gonna run out on you - I know you’re short on people.”
Angel suddenly had to swallow hard. In his head he could still clearly hear Spike’s words...
“This is what she would have wanted. It's what I want. I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important, what's happening here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine.”
“You might get killed,” he said, trying not to let his emotions show.
“Yeah,” Spike replied. “Who knows - maybe third time’s the lucky time, eh?”
He shot Angel a lopsided smile, and then continued swiftly. “And also... there were just too many Slayers. As I said, I’ve done it before, and damn - being stuck in a house with that many women ain’t exactly paradise, trust me!” Taking another sip, he added. “Also - not a pub around for miles. I’d go crazy within the week!”
“I see,” Angel said. “You’re... ‘moving on’ then?”
“Well... she did give me her phone number!” Spike grinned, and silently Angel reached out for the bottle.
After a little while Spike looked up again, a wicked glint in his eyes. “So... what do you say that tomorrow night we go to Italy and kill Andrew?”
A slow smile spread across Angel’s face. “Sounds... brilliant, to be honest. Although we really ought to torture him first!”
“Of course!” Spike leaned forwards. “Now what I was thinking was-”
The rest of the flight was very enjoyable indeed.
However, the next morning Angel had a hangover so bad not even the green doctor with the tentacles could help him.
As he slowly made his way to his meeting, Angel thought to himself that even when he got along with Spike, he ended up in pain. There was probably some sort of moral to be found in this, but his head hurt too much to work it out.
And it *really* didn’t help that Mr Schwarzenegger appeared to be around 10 feet tall.
But... on the plus side Buffy wasn’t dating the Immortal, and as a matter of fact was as close to being locked up in a box as was realistically possible.
This made him smile for the rest of the day.
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Even though I don't read the comics and have absolutely no interest in them, I had no difficulty following the plot and I like how you handled Spike's return with Angel very much indeed.
and as a matter of fact was as close to being locked up in a box as was realistically possible.
Brilliant observation.
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Thank *you* so much for reading - and for your lovely (and very swift) feedback! :)
The voices were very good, especially Xander and Illyria.
I've barely written Xander before, but he was very co-operative here. And I could write Illyria every day. She's pure delight!
Angel is beginning to sound remarkably like Spike at times. Angel would hate the thought that Spike's beginnning to have an affect.
Aw, pointing out a flaw and fanwanking it at the same time! *g* Mostly though, I just polished it off in a hurry so I could post it today. It's been eating my brain for long enough and I have other things to concentrate on.
Even though I don't read the comics and have absolutely no interest in them, I had no difficulty following the plot and I like how you handled Spike's return with Angel very much indeed.
Well that's good to know - The baseline of the comics plot is fairly simple, so I thought I'd just put in enough info to fill people in, without going into any details. (There are a LOT of details that I have a problem with, but I couldn't be bothered to write about them.)
Brilliant observation.
Thank you! *is pleased* I love that exchange from TGiQ, and I really don't like the castle...
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"But... on the plus side Buffy wasn’t dating the Immortal, and as a matter of fact was as close to being locked up in a box as was realistically possible."
That is so Angel!
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My pleasure! :)
That is so Angel!
I love Angel so very, very much! *Especially* when he's petty.
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“I think I also have some sort of death ray I can fire from space. Not quite sure about how that one works, but I doubt even magic would be able to stop it.”
Yup, that's Angel.
General Vot's-his-name... hehe.
Spike's little comment about the blinvisibity, and Buffy's reaction telling all... ahaha.
And Illyria and... W&H winning Bush the election (I *KNEW* it!)... Schwarzenegger being 10 feet tall... and the last bit. Loved it. Nothing cures comics-related frustration like spoofing it a bit.
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Squee! *preens*
Yup, that's Angel.
He's so Alpha-male is ludicrous... but that's of course what makes it funny.
General Vot's-his-name... hehe.
Yay! Someone mentioned it! *is pleased*
Spike's little comment about the blinvisibity, and Buffy's reaction telling all... ahaha.
Spike of course also managed to ruin any romantic reunion that might have been on the cards...
W&H winning Bush the election (I *KNEW* it!)
From 'Conviction':
LORNE: Hmm, well, this is interesting. Apparently old Joe Kennedy tried to get out of his deal with the firm.
ANGEL: That explains a lot.
LORNE: Yeah, but George, Senior — he read the fine print. There's no one these guys don't have a piece of.
Schwarzenegger being 10 feet tall
Whether that was real or just Angel's grumpiness I'll leave up to interpretation. But just imagine Angel with both Hamilton *and* Arnie... *giggles*
and the last bit. Loved it. Nothing cures comics-related frustration like spoofing it a bit.
Oh it felt so very, very good to write. Veeeeeeery good indeed! Thank you lots for reading and your feedback! :)
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ANGEL: That explains a lot.
LORNE: Yeah, but George, Senior — he read the fine print. There's no one these guys don't have a piece of.
I can't believe I forgot that line. *hangs head in shame*
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Hahahahahahaha! Brilliant.
Loved the last line, too. :)
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Squee! That line was there right from the start! :)
Loved the last line, too. :)
It sums up my feelings pretty neatly! Thank you for reading!
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:-)
But everyone was very much in character, and almost every line of dialogue about Illyria had me laughing. (Especially "You have a giant. I approve."). I did think you were exaggerating how powerful and capable the LA branch of Wolfram and Hart are compared to Buffy's team and to Twilight - especially if the cyber-ninja who easily infiltrated W&H and defeated all their security were from Twilight as I suspect. But that's just quibbling over interpretation.
Nice to see Angel and Spike finally moving on
to each other, though. :-)no subject
And a lovely counterpiece it was! :)
But everyone was very much in character, and almost every line of dialogue about Illyria had me laughing. (Especially "You have a giant. I approve.").
*grins* It just wrote itself, and that line of Illyria's was one of the first ones I thought of.
I did think you were exaggerating how powerful and capable the LA branch of Wolfram and Hart
*gasps* You mean you doubt Angel's total and utter awesomeness? I am shocked, I tells ya, shocked! Seriously though, his little 'I am the CEO no one can touch me', was a sort-of shout-out to the vamp in 'City Of':
Russel: "...I can do anything I want."
Angel: "Really. Hmm. Can you fly?"
Angel really *does* enjoy all that power, and he enjoys showing it off...
especially if the cyber-ninja who easily infiltrated W&H and defeated all their security were from Twilight as I suspect.
It's the loveliest fanwank, but sadly I don't think Joss ever gave it a thought.
Nice to see Angel and Spike finally moving on
to each other, though. :-)Wouldn't call it moving on as such... but, um, there might be a drabble at some point... ;)
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You do have excellent insight into Illyria's character. I think I've mentioned before that this worries me slightly.
Although that picture of yourself you posted a while back didn't actually have blue hair. But that's not proof, since Illyria can change her appearance too...
You mean you doubt Angel's total and utter awesomeness?
Never! (Although I liked the way you had him still struggling with technology). I just like to think that Team Slayer are pretty awesome themselves. As for Twilight - they're the Government, baby. Awesomeness is what they do.
I did like the way Willow managed to block the door against Illyria, so Illyria just went through the wall instead. I bet Xander hated that - wonder if he'll have to fix it himself or if they've got people to do that for them now?
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Should I be worried that you write Willow so well?
Never! (Although I liked the way you had him still struggling with technology).
Ah, now there was a part where I had more details worked out - the team wanted to fit him with one of those earpiece headset thingys but Angel flat refused, so they got him the wrist thing instead. *g*
As for Twilight - they're the Government, baby. Awesomeness is what they do.
There are many terms I could to describe the American government, but 'awesomeness' isn't one of them... Ahem. Still, W&H could get Voll suspended and out of action in a moment - some false charges, complete with evidence, and they'd have him in their dungeon asap.
I just like to think that Team Slayer are pretty awesome themselves.
Oh they are. And there is the fact that Angel thought he knew what sort of trap he was going into, and prepared accordingly - but instead there was a team of 50 Slayers, and if it'd come to combat the W&H lot would have been wiped out. *g*
I did like the way Willow managed to block the door against Illyria, so Illyria just went through the wall instead.
Originally I had her punch a hole in the barrier, but then realised that the other option was far better. :)
I bet Xander hated that - wonder if he'll have to fix it himself or if they've got people to do that for them now?
He'll probably supervise a small team of Slayers - Rene had studied drywalling I think? And he'll also have to fix Buffy's window! Just like old times... *is nostalgic*
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It is really good - and in places lol funny. Which I love.
I've been avoiding Buffy S8 because I just don't want to have Spuffy completely killed off. I think I hate Josh.......
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Aw, thank *you*! (And I totally couldn't help writing this...)
It is really good - and in places lol funny. Which I love.
Well once I'd thought of the set-up the story just flowed... I kinda had to hold back!
I've been avoiding Buffy S8 because I just don't want to have Spuffy completely killed off. I think I hate Josh.......
Pft! He won't go *near* any ships. This [points to icon] probably being the nearest he'll go to any sort of resolution.
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Oooh thank you! I had so much fun writing it, it's lovely when others enjoy it too. :)
Favorite line: "You have a giant. I approve."
Illyria is wonderful. :)
If S8 were actually like this I might be tempted to follow it.
Ouch! But thank you - that's quite the compliment.
Also it's lovely to see Angel and Spike bonding... in their own fashion. :)
There can never be enough Spike/Angel bonding!
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This made him smile for the rest of the day.
Wonderful ending! I like it that neither Spike nor Buffy can, even now, work out what she actually wants. And Illyria is awesome!
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Thank you! :) For the longest time I didn't know how to finish it, and then suddenly it was very obvious.
I like it that neither Spike nor Buffy can, even now, work out what she actually wants.
Well s8 Buffy *certainly* wouldn't know what to do with Spike, and I can't see Spike being over-eager to stay in that castle - he is rather fond of civilisation. So I opened a door... what happens next is up to the reader. ;)
And Illyria is awesome!
She is a god after all!
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Angel shrugged. “Not precisely, but how do you think he won? Hell, how do you think George Bush became President?”
I knew there was something evil afoot there.
Thanks for sharing this, it was quite enjoyable.
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Squeeing is more than acceptable! ;)
I enjoyed this, and the slightly vindictive part of me was quite pleased to see the Slayers get the smack down, or at least a very healthy reality check.
Yeah - s8 strikes me as too many parts 'fanboy's wet dream' with all the technology etc. I was so pleased when I remembered about the 'death ray'! *g*
I would have liked to see Angel expound a bit more on who Illyria used to be, but that would not have fit with the general tongue in cheek mood of the piece.
Oh there were *so* many things I wanted to put in, but couldn't. Also had to just mention Cordy and Nina (ZOMG Angel has a girlfriend!!!) in passing, even though I could have done a lot with that. Only serious bit being the Spike/Angel bonding at the end, but I tried my best to keep it light-hearted.
I knew there was something evil afoot there.
Well it's canon! From 'Conviction':
LORNE: Hmm, well, this is interesting. Apparently old Joe Kennedy tried to get out of his deal with the firm.
ANGEL: That explains a lot.
LORNE: Yeah, but George, Senior — he read the fine print. There's no one these guys don't have a piece of.
(And it would explain a HECK of a lot, wouldn't it?)
Thanks for sharing this, it was quite enjoyable.
Hey, my pleasure! And thank you lots for reading! :)
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Squee! Thank you! Who knows, maybe one day I'll write more? I mean I didn't even *mention* the Warren thing... ;)
Illyria especially is a treat. Great fun.
Illyria is a *gift* to ficwriters! So glad you liked it - thank you for reading! *hugs*
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:) I honestly didn't know *how* to describe it, since I couldn't think of any box it'd neatly fit in. So glad you took a chance!
I thought your voices were just right. Illyria was quite amusing.
It all just wrote itself (Illyria especially), which was *lovely*. I had to hold back quite a bit...
Thanks for sharing this!
Thank *you* for reading and for your feedback! *hugs*
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It's one of the most funny and inventive stories I read! It has something comics don't - namely, the ability to see the big picture and delve into the situation from a global POV.
Spike and Angel's voices are great, but your Illyria effortlessly steals the show: every phrase is the punchline, every action is a highlight.
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Well I'm glad you found it! :)
It's one of the most funny and inventive stories I read!
*blushes* It was just crack fic... (And I really wanted to Angel to ask Buffy why she was living in the castle and Buffy to reply 'I don't know...' but I couldn't make it work. Ah well.)
It has something comics don't - namely, the ability to see the big picture and delve into the situation from a global POV.
Thank you! :) It just truck me that although Buffy and Angel 'don't live in each other's worlds', they still exist in the same 'verse, and what would W&H say to all this...
Spike and Angel's voices are great, but your Illyria effortlessly steals the show: every phrase is the punchline, every action is a highlight.
Squee! *is thrilled* I love Illyria and I swear she just wrote herself. (Her line about the giant was one of the first I thought of.)
So glad you enjoyed this! *hugs*
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I'm presuming you're pacing the unpacking. *g*
I loved this.
I thought you might... ;)
As everyone has said your Illyria voice is wonderful and those last lines are priceless *g*.
Illyria is always fun. And when I was trying to work out how to end it, I suddenly realised that Spike and Angel would be very happy indeed for Buffy to be stuck in a castle away from anything masculine! Fic is fun.
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Looks like they both did a bit of celebrating after the meeting. Angel really did enjoy telling Buffy what he was now capable of.
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Thank you! *beams*
Very good characters in the Scoobies case, better than the comics.
*snerk* But then I did have Spike and Angel for them to interact with. On their own I wouldn't have a clue...
Yes, I can see Angel being pleased that Buffy is not really with the immortal, and in a castle.
He's quite the possessive guy. ;)
Looks like they both did a bit of celebrating after the meeting. Angel really did enjoy telling Buffy what he was now capable of.
Oh yes. And just *how* drunk they got on the plane I'll leave up to the readers' imagination! *g*
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“You have a giant. I approve.”
Classic Illyria!
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Thank you so much for reading - I don't have time for reading at all at the moment, which is tragic given all the wonderful writers I have on my flist...
Anyway, so glad you liked it! And Illyria is a joy to write (as well you know!).
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Well done!
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Hee! Thank you! And it was remarkably entertaining to write too - I like plotbunnies like this. (Of course it is not as cracktastic as the *actual* comics are now, but at least I tried. *g*)
Thank you lots for reading and the feedback - it was a wonderful surprise to wake up to!
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(Mocking 'season 8' was a lot of fun, but it can't really be done anymore, since the comics themselves have moved beyond parody and into farce and crack-fic. Entertaining though!)
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Thank you. It was fun to write. :)
I do love Illyria here.
Heh. I think she'd improve s8 no end!
Oh if only S8 reflected the characters we know and love...
*deep sigh* Indeed. This fic was written during the Faith arc, as far as I recall, when the story could still be fanwanked into making sense - almost. Now of course it's lost any semblance of credibility! (Xander/Dracula is v. entertaining though...)
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Seriously I started typing my favorite quotes and ended up with a comment as big as your story :)
Thank you so so so much for the laughs! Totally the best story about season 8!
xxx
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Squee! *basks*
Seriously I started typing my favorite quotes and ended up with a comment as big as your story :)
Heh. I had far, far too much fun writing it, as you could probably tell!
Thank you so so so much for the laughs! Totally the best story about season 8!
Aw, thank you! (And you have to laugh at s8, so as not to cry. *pets poor confused comic!Buffy*) Also thank you lots for your lovely comment, it was a fabulous thing to wake up to!
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"He’d always wanted to use that line. Possibly not on this particular audience, but beggars couldn’t be choosers - "
So perfectly Angel!
Great stuff.
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Thank you! :D And LJ moves very fast...
Loved Spike thinking there would be no way Buffy would be that far away from shopping
Well she wouldn't! Hated that stupid castle from start to finish. *scrubs brain to get rid of OOC comic!Buffy*
So perfectly Angel!
I love writing him, the big lug... ♥
Thank you again - surprise feedback might be the best of all. :)