Shameless begging... (and a thought)

[elisi]

This is a plea to those of you who are good at capping! As those who read my 'Why We Fight' post know, there is a specific moment that I'd *love* to have a cap of (so I can bribe an icon maker into iconning it. Heh.).

It's towards the very, very end of scene 13 (on the DVD), when Angel sends Spike up the ladder after Lawson. Because he [Angel] smiles! It's very small, and very short, but it's definitely an affectionate smile and I really, really want it! *looks pleading* I'll write a drabble of your choice in exchange if you like!

*hugs and kisses to hesadevil!* Look! She even made a mini youtube video of the smile!!! (changed link so now you can actually see it! *facepalm*)

(*loves Angel to tiny little pieces*)

And just to stop this post from being completely pointless, a few more thoughts on what Lawson needed from Angel.

Thinking about the whole father/Sire-hood a little more, then I guess Lawson is like an illegitimate child looking up his father, always having felt a void in his life. Unable to really live because of all the unanswered questions, the pain of having been rejected. And then when he finds him, being rejected all over again - his father can't 'fix' him, can't be a real father to him - they have nothing in common.

To look at this from a vampire POV we see in the Fanged Four family how the bonds between them are very strong. Darla spends years teaching Angelus, and Angelus does the same with William (and Dru I guess, but less so, what with her being crazy). It's a very twisted sort of family, but it's a family nonetheless. And they're powerful because of it. The average graveyard vamps (turned apparently for the fun of it) that Buffy stakes in half a minute, just drift - have no common purpose or bonds. And I think that Lawson needed that family structure: For a moment imagine what Angelus could have done with him - a bright, driven young fledgling like that would have been a joy for him to teach. Angelus could have given him a mission. But Angel couldn't give Lawson that, and that's what he rallies against - what he should have had. So... I don't think he got a piece of soul - he got a void where his Sire should have been.

Because here's a thought:

Spike: "Dru may have sired me, but you - you made me a monster!"

Lawson in effect says the opposite:

"You sired me, but then you didn't make me into a monster!"

I think he could probably have rivalled Spike, but instead he just drifted, purposeless and lonely. Sure Spike had his problems with Angel(us), but they came *from* their relationship, not neglect.

So going back the mirroring of Connor - Connor needed Angel, but found it hard to see beyond Angelus. Lawson needed Angelus, but only ever got Angel. And neither ever had the relationship they had hoped - the guidance and purpose they craved.


Oh - and something else. Angel warns Lawson that he'll stake him if ever they cross paths again. Spike does *not* get that warning! Interesting...

ETA: Now I really want to read a fic where Lawson turns up in LA in S4 when Angelus was around, because it would be *so* much fun! I could totally see Angelus playing Lawson and Connor against each other, and loving every minute. I doubt that such a fic exists though... germaine_pet - feel like writing it? *g*

ETA2: Ended up writing it myself: His Real Father.

Comments

[morgantree.livejournal.com]

I think Lawson's problem is twofold: Sired by Angel instead of Angelus, so no proper guidance; and sired for "heroic," nearly altruistic purposes, which means his birth is conlicted at the core... which brings us back to Connor, I guess...

[elisi]

sired for "heroic," nearly altruistic purposes, which means his birth is conlicted at the core
Oh that's a good point! *loves you brain*

which brings us back to Connor, I guess...
As always... Lawson really is the anti-Connor.