elisi | Shameless begging... (and a thought)

This is a plea to those of you who are good at capping! As those who read my 'Why We Fight' post know, there is a specific moment that I'd *love* to have a cap of (so I can bribe an icon maker into iconning it. Heh.).

It's towards the very, very end of scene 13 (on the DVD), when Angel sends Spike up the ladder after Lawson. Because he [Angel] smiles! It's very small, and very short, but it's definitely an affectionate smile and I really, really want it! *looks pleading* I'll write a drabble of your choice in exchange if you like!

*hugs and kisses to

hesadevil!* Look! She even made a mini youtube video of the smile!!! (changed link so now you can actually see it! *facepalm*)

(*loves Angel to tiny little pieces*)

And just to stop this post from being completely pointless, a few more thoughts on what Lawson needed from Angel.

Thinking about the whole father/Sire-hood a little more, then I guess Lawson is like an illegitimate child looking up his father, always having felt a void in his life. Unable to really live because of all the unanswered questions, the pain of having been rejected. And then when he finds him, being rejected all over again - his father can't 'fix' him, can't be a real father to him - they have nothing in common.

To look at this from a vampire POV we see in the Fanged Four family how the bonds between them are very strong. Darla spends years teaching Angelus, and Angelus does the same with William (and Dru I guess, but less so, what with her being crazy). It's a very twisted sort of family, but it's a family nonetheless. And they're powerful because of it. The average graveyard vamps (turned apparently for the fun of it) that Buffy stakes in half a minute, just drift - have no common purpose or bonds. And I think that Lawson needed that family structure: For a moment imagine what Angelus could have done with him - a bright, driven young fledgling like that would have been a joy for him to teach. Angelus could have given him a mission. But Angel couldn't give Lawson that, and that's what he rallies against - what he should have had. So... I don't think he got a piece of soul - he got a void where his Sire should have been.

Because here's a thought:

Spike: "Dru may have sired me, but you - you made me a monster!"

Lawson in effect says the opposite:

"You sired me, but then you didn't make me into a monster!"

I think he could probably have rivalled Spike, but instead he just drifted, purposeless and lonely. Sure Spike had his problems with Angel(us), but they came *from* their relationship, not neglect.

So going back the mirroring of Connor - Connor needed Angel, but found it hard to see beyond Angelus. Lawson needed Angelus, but only ever got Angel. And neither ever had the relationship they had hoped - the guidance and purpose they craved.

Oh - and something else. Angel warns Lawson that he'll stake him if ever they cross paths again. Spike does *not* get that warning! Interesting...

ETA: Now I really want to read a fic where Lawson turns up in LA in S4 when Angelus was around, because it would be *so* much fun! I could totally see Angelus playing Lawson and Connor against each other, and loving every minute. I doubt that such a fic exists though...

germaine_pet - feel like writing it? *g*

ETA2: Ended up writing it myself: His Real Father.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oooh that's lovely. And yes, it's horribly dark and RED and quick.

But thank you so much! *is very happy*

You're verey welcome. It's the beginning of the smile. He blinks in the next frame where the smile is more evident so his eyes are closed. I hope someone can iconise it better than I have for you. All I do is crop and fiddle with lighting and 'noise', I'm no good at layers and textures and stuff.

I see

bendy1 is bored and in th mood for icon making.

You're verey welcome.
Thank you again - I wouldn't even know where to start doing this kinda thing. 'Tis as mystery. Oh and would you like a drabble?

It's the beginning of the smile. He blinks in the next frame where the smile is more evident so his eyes are closed.
Oh but... See now I'm thinking that if I had that cap as well, and maybe the one after that again, then maybe I could have an animated icon... *hits self over head* Sorry, now I'm being presumptious and pushy and stuff. I'll just go away and look after my children like I should. Please ignore me.

I'm trying to finish the final chapter of Soul Searching at the moment and have had some ideas that need getting down and saving, but give me a few days and I'll see what I can come up with. I can't do animations - haven't the patience. But I'll have a go at capping the smile sequence for you.
No need for a drabble, although if you're in the mood and have the time after you've seen to the family, you might have a go at writing one to put up on

gen_storyteller if you can bear the thought of writing genfic. Maybe a drabble taking place in a 'missing scene' from Season 1 AtS, before Spike attacks Angel; a Spike meets Lawson drabble? I'm very taken with the notion that what Lawson was 'suffering' was the void where his Sire's attention should have been, rather than some remnant of a soul.

If this doesn't tickle the Muse, we're announcing a challenge on

gen_storyteller in conjunction with SDFA soon that will call for authors to write missing scenes of this sort, so maybe later in the year you might give it some thought.

But I'll have a go at capping the smile sequence for you.
Squee! *bounces* And there's no hurry at all. Please concentrate on the important stuff - and good luck with the writing. :)

if you can bear the thought of writing genfic.
You know that's quite funny, because most of my work is genfic. I've only written two properly shippy fics (although they are the two longest), but all the rest is gen, more or less. I've been meaning to post some of it on

gen_storyteller, but just not got round to it yet. And I'll let the plotbunnies work on Lawson...

we're announcing a challenge on gen_storyteller in conjunction with SDFA soon that will call for authors to write missing scenes of this sort
I'll definitely look out for that! And THANK YOU again! *hugs*

I had a go at making a vido clip of the smile with the freedbie that came with Windows XP. (Distraction tactics - the chapter has ground to a halt)

If I can do it with the full sized caps, I should be able to iconise it.

SQUEE!!!!!!

Now I really appreciate how much work goes into those music vids of

spikeylover's. I used only 5 caps and it took me ages to animate a couple of seconds' worth.

I used only 5 caps and it took me ages to animate a couple of seconds' worth.
In which case I'm even more grateful!

Darcy does a lot of video editing and it takes *forever*! I never felt any impulse to try! *g* Writing takes up more than enough time...

Oh - meant to reply to this as well:

I'm very taken with the notion that what Lawson was 'suffering' was the void where his Sire's attention should have been, rather than some remnant of a soul.

I think it's rather a neat theory - we see how each of the fanged four don't coppe very well when alone. (I'd give examples, but you'd know them all anyway and I don't have the time...)

Shameless begging... (and a thought)

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