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Fic: Dating the Cleverest Boy in the World. Chapter 16.
This chapter was supposed to be longer, but this particular scene grew and fitted nicely into its own chapter. Also, this way I get to post it now. :) With many thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
the_redjay for the look-through. (All mistakes mine, as it has been edited greatly since.)
Fic index here if anyone wants to catch up, or just follow the tags. And on AO3 here.
Summary: Allison had always thought that university would be an adventure. But she'd not imagined that she'd end up dating Harold Saxon's son.
Setting: Spring 2027 (the day after Chapter 15)
Characters (this chapter): Jamie and Alex (OCs)
Rating: Teen
Wordcount: 3500 words.
Feedback: Will make me happier than you can imagine.
Chapter 16
Josh told me. If you would like to talk, I’ll be in my flat Monday morning. Drop by any time.
S.
The door was unlocked, so Jamie walked straight in, hanging hir coat on one of the pegs before doing a swift telepathic scan just to make sure that there was no one apart from hirself and Alex in the flat - and was stunned by what sie picked up.
Walking into the large open plan seating area, Jamie looked at Alex as if sie’d never seen him before. Which sie supposed sie hadn’t.
“You’re an alien,” sie said - a statement, not a question - still trying to wrap hir mind around what sie could pick up.
He was golden and bright. Something sie had never imagined, something utterly unknown and different tugging on all hir senses. ‘So much more alien’ Josh had said... Sie was beginning to see what he meant.
Alex held hir eyes, then nodded.
“Yes.”
Seeing that Jamie was still rather speechless he motioned hir closer.
“Come on, sit down. It’s... interesting to let my shields down. I generally have them set extra secure when you’re around. I feel... sort of naked?”
Jamie took a seat and nodded, still mesmerised by the tantalising nature of what sie could sense. He tilted his head.
“Nice to find out what you are, by the way. I suspected Star Poet - what with the very obvious telepathy - but wasn’t sure how that could even work.”
“So... you knew?” Jamie asked, and he smiled.
“Oh yes, the second I saw you. No ordinary human in this time would even know how to shield their thoughts. The fact that you didn’t just do it, but did it instinctively - and extremely effectively - was hugely telling. But you read human too - whatever you were, it was integral, you weren’t something hiding in a skin suit. I can’t tell you how pleased I was that Josh found you - for both your sakes.”
The smiled widened into a grin.
“To be perfectly honest I don’t know that someone only human would ever have been enough to keep his attention for any length of time.”
‘Thanks,” sie replied drily, yet unable to stop hirself from glancing at the ring on hir finger.
Yesterday - once they had gotten back from Cardiff - had been more or less one long party as Josh had told everyone he could possibly think of the good news, from his mother all the way through to distant acquaintances. Jamie had spent the day being hugged and congratulated by more people in afternoon than sie generally interacted with in a year (people at the bar didn’t count - they were customers), all of them admiring the ring, hearing its story over and over, as Josh - so breathtakingly happy that Jamie didn’t quite know what to to - made plans and considered the future.
So far the wedding had been set for some time around graduation - so about a year and a half away - although Josh was going to move in permanently as soon as feasible. Jamie wasn’t sure what had happened to hir beautifully quiet life, but knew that it would take time before sie would be able to assess things properly.
“Let me guess,” Alex said, as he followed hir eyes. “You’re equally happy and terrified?”
Jamie nodded, then began talking - not so much because sie trusted Alex, but because there was literally no one else to confide in, and the doubts in hir mind still cast long and uncomfortable shadows. And Alex seemed to understand...
“He is so happy. So... unbelievably happy. And I am too, of course, but... how can I ever live up to that? He is on this little cloud and what when he comes down? And he wants... He wants all these things, and he thinks that love will overcome everything. But what if it doesn’t? What if-”
Sie couldn’t continue, but Alex nodded, understanding in his eyes.
“They can’t see it. They don’t understand what it’s like to view things from the outside.”
Trying to somehow find her mental equilibrium again, Jamie turned the conversation around.
“Have you told Allie?”
Alex shook his head vehemently.
“No. Not yet. At some point I’ll have to, but my obstacles are far greater than yours. I know you’re worried, but you’ll be fine.”
“But the way he looks at me...” Sie couldn’t quite believe that sie was pouring all her fears out to someone sie’d only had vague interactions with before - but then sie didn’t really have close friends at all.
At this Alex smiled again. “Oh I know exactly what he sees when he looks at you.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Listen... I’ve known Josh since we were both four years old. I know him. I remember when he came back from India when he was only nine, and how he wouldn’t stop talking about the Taj Mahal. And the thing is... that never stopped. From that day he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life, and he never wavered in any way. Then he grew older, and discovered girls and boys and dating... Now I have no idea how many people he’s dated overall, as I’m sure he went behind everyone’s back at least half the time, and I’m not sure he knows either. The point is - there have been a lot. And then there was you.”
Alex studied hir, his focus absolute.
“Jamie, you’re his Taj Mahal. Something singular and... unassailable. Everyone said, back when he was nine, that the architecture thing was just a fad. But look at him now, well on his way to realising his childhood dreams. And you are the only other thing he has ever taken to in the same way. He might be young, but once his mind is set, nothing can change it.”
Jamie found that sie could barely breathe. There was no way sie could have refused Josh, but sie still worried - what if, what if, what if... He was so young... And suddenly, like a miracle, Alex had solved it. Found a way for hir to believe that it could all be true, that it would truly last. Except...
“But he wants all these things... Like... children. He says he doesn’t care, but he does. Ask Jack, he saw his face.”
Alex waved his hand dismissively.
“Oh I can help with that. All you need to do is love him - I’ll take care of any practical issues. Anything at all.” A frown. “Hey, don’t look so sceptical! Let me show you what I am. Properly, I mean, not just what you can pick up.”
Gently he reached out and laid his fingertips to Jamie’s temples, but it was the psychic touch that made hir eyes widen.
‘You’ve never done this before?’ Alex asked, and sie found hirself responding in the same manner.
‘No. Didn’t know I could...’
A soft mental chuckle.
‘Oh you have huge amounts of untapped potential - Star Poets use telepathy before speaking. I’ll teach you if you like? For now, do you want a tour? Don’t worry, I won’t peek - just step across and look around. Everything private is closed, so don’t worry about overstepping boundaries.’
Heart beating Jamie did as told, crossing over into someone else’s mind for the first time, and it was as easy as breathing...
‘Here,’ Alex added, ‘This is all I know about Arkateen V. Not a lot, but we’ll take you one day if you’re curious. I’m still grounded, but Jack could go.’
Sie absorbed the knowledge within mere moments, almost dizzy from sheer delight at the ease, even though sie could sense Alex’s laughter.
‘Told you,’ he said, ‘And I seriously have to train you. Humans on the whole are rubbish at telepathy...’
As sie moved around sie was struck by the sheer vastness of what his mind contained. So much knowledge... Although the most intriguing part was something sie couldn’t quite put hir finger on. It was what sie had picked up on from the moment sie walked through the door, but sie didn’t know what meant.
It was something luminous and immense, glimpsed only in bits here and there, but that sie could sense all around. Like lights round the edges of a closed door. Too curious to let it be, sie tried to push through to that light, and immediately a blank mental wall appeared.
‘Don’t.’
Sie blinked, looking with physical eyes at Alex, who didn’t seem angry at all, just unmoving.
‘Sorry...’
‘It’s not that it’s private as such. I just have no idea what will happen if I show you. It would probably kill you.’
His eyes were very calm, and Jamie swallowed.
A pause, as Alex seemed to turn things over, then a slow nod.
‘OK, a little peak. Like looking at the sun? If you only do it for a moment it won’t harm you, but you’ll probably be seeing spots for a good while. But it’ll explain better than words ever could... Ready?’
Jamie nodded, and suddenly the entirety of creation seemed to be unveiled - past, present, future; stars born and dying, galaxies and nebulas and the endless progression of time. Civilisations growing and falling back into ashes, wars and terrors and unceasing wonder... The scale and scope was so breathtaking that sie couldn’t move, and then it was too much - hir mind faltering through overload, too much, too much, there was pain, like burning- and then it all vanished.
Sie realised that sie was being held up by Alex, the mental link broken, as he looked at hir with concern.
“You OK? Sorry, I’ve never done that before, it’s hard to judge...”
Reaching up, sie felt the swiftest of mental sweeps through hir mind.
“No, you’re fine. No damage.” He bit his lip. “Josh would never forgive me if I hurt you.”
“What... what was that?” Sie asked, once sie’d regained hir equilibrium.
“That,” Alex said slowly, “was what a Time Lord is.”
“Time Lord,” sie repeated, the name ringing a faint bell... (‘We have Time Lords on speed dial...’)
“Latest and Last of,” he added. “And, as you saw, I can do almost anything.”
The impossible still vivid in hir mind, sie nodded. If someone had asked hir, sie wouldn’t have been able to reply with any specifics, but sie simply knew that manipulating the physical world - even time itself - was, for him, as simple as reaching out and just doing it. Eternity - everything sie had seen - in his mind, always. How did he concentrate? How did he notice anything in the present...
“And you hang around here. With people like us.”
A shrug.
“Well this is where I grew up, and where all my friends are. Although I’m sure you understand why I haven’t told Allison yet.”
The tone of voice was familiar, and sie knew what he meant to the very marrow of hir bones. It was how sie had lived for the past year and a half... Grateful for every day with hir beloved, yet knowing that at some point there would be a day of reckoning when it all could stop. Because what they had was too good to be true, and would probably not survive the unveiling.
Reaching out sie grasped his hand.
“I understand. Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me. And you never know, you might get a happy ending too.”
“I hope so,” he said softly. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her. Although I will, one day, no matter what...”
A sigh, as he looked into the distance.
“Mind you, if I hadn’t grown up here, if I hadn’t been sent to Cambridge, I wouldn’t have known her at all - and that doesn’t bear thinking about. ‘Better to have loved and lost’, that’s what they say, isn’t it? I hope they’re right.”
Jamie wasn’t sure what to say - Alex had always been perfectly friendly, but had never tried to get close to hir in any way (something for which sie had been rather grateful - sie generally avoided getting close to anyone). This sudden outpouring of his heart was unexpected... and yet, after what he had shown hir - that golden, celestial well of eternity, the core of his being in ways sie knew sie’d never be able to formulate - this sharing seemed almost ordinary. It wasn’t the right word, but sie couldn’t think of another.
Dragging a hand through his hair, Alex smiled wryly.
"For some reason dating Allison has also gifted me with a new and unwelcome capacity for self-pity. Sorry. I think I was going to mention how I haven’t gotten you an engagement present yet."
Jamie waved hir hand, embarrassed. All this attention was not exactly hir favourite thing. "Oh you shouldn't."
"No, I really should. I know exactly what to get you. It won't cost a penny, although I'm sure it'll... satisfy both of you."
The look in his face was suddenly full of mischief, and Jamie's eyes narrowed.
"I'm sorry?"
Alex's smile didn't waver.
"It'll also double up as your first lesson."
"Are you going to explain what on earth you're on about?"
Sie was probably sounding a bit snippy, but sie didn't have a lot of patience for this kinda thing. His next question threw hir, however.
"Do you trust me?"
He'd trusted hir with... things unimaginable. Sie nodded assent.
Leaning forward, he put his fingertips to hir temples once more.
"OK, I need to you lower all your shields. Just for a moment."
Seeing hir hesitation, he added, with a sudden, unexpectedly serious emphasis: "It'll be worth it."
Taking a deep breath Jamie closed hir eyes and did as he asked, half of hir thinking that sie must have gone mad... And the next moment gasping in surprise as a sudden quiver of pure pleasure shot through hir.
Eyes snapping open sie stared at Alex, who had already lowered his hands, the connection broken.
“Wha-”
He smirked.
“Once you know how, you can achieve anything from the merest flutter of desire to actual orgasms through a simple touch, mind to mind.”
Jamie was still speechless, and Alex lifted an eyebrow.
"Certain parts of my ‘education’ were overseen my Jack. And no, that doesn't mean that we- Why does everyone think that?"
“Well, you’ve... obviously done that before,” Jamie offered, and Alex’s mock-exasperation turned to a strange wistfulness - a wistfulness which was combined with a surprisingly devious smile.
“Oh yes... So very much yes. And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss it. But then there are so many things I can’t have whilst I’m stuck here...”
Jamie’s response was instinctual rather than considered. It almost took hir by surprise, but then hir whole life had been turned upside down and sideways since the previous morning. And sie had found what sie had never dared dream of... Something Alex could still only hope for. Sie ached for him, and figured that what sie could offer wasn’t much - but it was something.
Reaching out, sie laid a hand on his cheek.
“Seeker... Let me.”
Before he could react to the use of his real name (sie had found it at the very core of that endless eternity that sie had almost been lost in) sie leaned in, kissing him as deeply as sie could, simultaneously diving into his mind, finding hir target in no time at all - it really was only a question of taking what he had done to hir and returning it.
Sie could feel him tremble under hir hands as sie gently familiarised hirself with this hitherto unknown skill; like a piano player searching for a tune on a new instrument - not sure what the tune might be, but knowing that it would be unmistakable as soon as it was found.
To hir surprise and delight it was music. From somewhere deep inside, somewhere sie hadn’t known before, sie could feel a melody - as instinctual as the kiss - guiding hir touch. Something sie knew to be Star Poet and not human at all.
The Seeker (not human at all, either) was enraptured, caught in hir song as sie overlaid bliss with bliss, ecstasy with ecstasy, weaving pleasure and passion with the lightest of touches, letting it swell and escalate, the layers blending in perfect harmony until it crested - every strand reaching a perfect crescendo, every note caught on the very edge, sustained and held in meticulous balance as the Time Lord under hir hands shivered in a release far, far removed from what any human would understand by the word.
Eventually (hir hands still on his face and the rhythm of his heartbeats easily sensed under his skin) he opened his eyes, looking at hir with eyes so full of wonder sie felt oddly shaken.
‘You truly are a Taj Mahal’ he said... Except those weren’t his actual words. Jamie, startled, realised that he must have been speaking what she presumed to be Gallifreyan. The meaning of the words being hard to capture (‘You truly are/were/will be a singular person/event/place in time/space’), yet overwhelming...
Feeling oddly drained and vulnerable after hir feat, Jamie wasn’t sure how to deal with this.
‘Please stop looking at me like that.’
A barely visible shake of his head.
‘I am the Seeker. Finding something like you - something new and wondrous - is what I live for.’
If there was a suitable response to a declaration like that, Jamie didn’t know it. A gentle mental chuckle rippled across Alex’s mind in response to hir befuddlement, helping to calm senses still unpractised and unsure.
‘Don’t worry, you don’t need to do or say anything. No wait, that’s not true. If you wouldn’t mind, please tell Josh that he was right and I was wrong and I’m sorry.’
‘What for?’ Jamie asked, by now thoroughly puzzled, and he sighed.
‘I could have made things easier for you. And vice versa. I was stupid and selfish and wouldn't allow him to tell you about me. So... I’m sorry to you to.’
‘Don’t... don’t mention it,’ sie replied. ‘What’s happened, happened. I don’t know that I would have been able to trust you back then. It’s taken me until now to believe that Josh is actually real...’
Another chuckle.
‘Still - please tell Josh? He was very angry, and with good cause. Also I’m still happy to teach you, although you might not need me, going by today’s evidence...’
Jamie tried smiling, but didn’t quite manage it. All these things inside, all these things sie’d never known - the initial fear replaced by the unexpected thrill of discovery.
‘I’ve never done that before. I didn’t know that I could. Didn’t know that I-’
‘Could sing?’ he filled in, and sie nodded again.
‘Neither did I’, he replied, studying hir with something like wonder. ‘It was... incredible. I... hope to teach Allison your song one day.’
Suddenly jolted out of their little bubble, Jamie looked at him with worry:
‘Was this cheating?’
‘I don’t know’, he replied simply. ‘How do you compare singing and dancing? To Jack it’s all the same - and the lines certainly blur if you do both at the same time - but then Jack has no concept of fidelity as such, so he’s not the best guide out there... The mindset of the 51st Century doesn’t mesh very well with the mores of the 21st.’
‘You’re not helping!’
Alex tilted his head.
‘Are you sorry it happened?’
There was no point in lying - not that their communication, mind-to-mind, would have allowed it anyway.
‘No.’
‘Well then. If it ever becomes an issue, you know where you - we - stand.’
‘But... but what do I do?’
Alex leaned in, kissing hir so softly it felt more like a caress, and as he pulled back also let go of the mental link, leaving Jamie feeling acutely bereft and lonely.
“You go home, and you sing to your fiancé. Tell him as much or as little as you want, I only ask that you don’t mention it to Allie. I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get to it. But I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, and... I will remember it forever.”
Jamie nodded, clasping hir hands together and feeling the reassuring solidness of the ring on hir finger. Sie had touched eternity, and had found a song entirely hir own. Yet sie had roots now, firm and stable, something real to build hir life upon.
And sie wasn't alone.
Chapter 17
(For anyone curious, there is a lovely scene of a Star Poet singing (actual physical singing, not the other kind that I invented) here. 4:05 - 5:45)
the_redjay for the look-through. (All mistakes mine, as it has been edited greatly since.)Fic index here if anyone wants to catch up, or just follow the tags. And on AO3 here.
Summary: Allison had always thought that university would be an adventure. But she'd not imagined that she'd end up dating Harold Saxon's son.
Setting: Spring 2027 (the day after Chapter 15)
Characters (this chapter): Jamie and Alex (OCs)
Rating: Teen
Wordcount: 3500 words.
Feedback: Will make me happier than you can imagine.
Chapter 16
Josh told me. If you would like to talk, I’ll be in my flat Monday morning. Drop by any time.
S.
The door was unlocked, so Jamie walked straight in, hanging hir coat on one of the pegs before doing a swift telepathic scan just to make sure that there was no one apart from hirself and Alex in the flat - and was stunned by what sie picked up.
Walking into the large open plan seating area, Jamie looked at Alex as if sie’d never seen him before. Which sie supposed sie hadn’t.
“You’re an alien,” sie said - a statement, not a question - still trying to wrap hir mind around what sie could pick up.
He was golden and bright. Something sie had never imagined, something utterly unknown and different tugging on all hir senses. ‘So much more alien’ Josh had said... Sie was beginning to see what he meant.
Alex held hir eyes, then nodded.
“Yes.”
Seeing that Jamie was still rather speechless he motioned hir closer.
“Come on, sit down. It’s... interesting to let my shields down. I generally have them set extra secure when you’re around. I feel... sort of naked?”
Jamie took a seat and nodded, still mesmerised by the tantalising nature of what sie could sense. He tilted his head.
“Nice to find out what you are, by the way. I suspected Star Poet - what with the very obvious telepathy - but wasn’t sure how that could even work.”
“So... you knew?” Jamie asked, and he smiled.
“Oh yes, the second I saw you. No ordinary human in this time would even know how to shield their thoughts. The fact that you didn’t just do it, but did it instinctively - and extremely effectively - was hugely telling. But you read human too - whatever you were, it was integral, you weren’t something hiding in a skin suit. I can’t tell you how pleased I was that Josh found you - for both your sakes.”
The smiled widened into a grin.
“To be perfectly honest I don’t know that someone only human would ever have been enough to keep his attention for any length of time.”
‘Thanks,” sie replied drily, yet unable to stop hirself from glancing at the ring on hir finger.
Yesterday - once they had gotten back from Cardiff - had been more or less one long party as Josh had told everyone he could possibly think of the good news, from his mother all the way through to distant acquaintances. Jamie had spent the day being hugged and congratulated by more people in afternoon than sie generally interacted with in a year (people at the bar didn’t count - they were customers), all of them admiring the ring, hearing its story over and over, as Josh - so breathtakingly happy that Jamie didn’t quite know what to to - made plans and considered the future.
So far the wedding had been set for some time around graduation - so about a year and a half away - although Josh was going to move in permanently as soon as feasible. Jamie wasn’t sure what had happened to hir beautifully quiet life, but knew that it would take time before sie would be able to assess things properly.
“Let me guess,” Alex said, as he followed hir eyes. “You’re equally happy and terrified?”
Jamie nodded, then began talking - not so much because sie trusted Alex, but because there was literally no one else to confide in, and the doubts in hir mind still cast long and uncomfortable shadows. And Alex seemed to understand...
“He is so happy. So... unbelievably happy. And I am too, of course, but... how can I ever live up to that? He is on this little cloud and what when he comes down? And he wants... He wants all these things, and he thinks that love will overcome everything. But what if it doesn’t? What if-”
Sie couldn’t continue, but Alex nodded, understanding in his eyes.
“They can’t see it. They don’t understand what it’s like to view things from the outside.”
Trying to somehow find her mental equilibrium again, Jamie turned the conversation around.
“Have you told Allie?”
Alex shook his head vehemently.
“No. Not yet. At some point I’ll have to, but my obstacles are far greater than yours. I know you’re worried, but you’ll be fine.”
“But the way he looks at me...” Sie couldn’t quite believe that sie was pouring all her fears out to someone sie’d only had vague interactions with before - but then sie didn’t really have close friends at all.
At this Alex smiled again. “Oh I know exactly what he sees when he looks at you.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Listen... I’ve known Josh since we were both four years old. I know him. I remember when he came back from India when he was only nine, and how he wouldn’t stop talking about the Taj Mahal. And the thing is... that never stopped. From that day he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life, and he never wavered in any way. Then he grew older, and discovered girls and boys and dating... Now I have no idea how many people he’s dated overall, as I’m sure he went behind everyone’s back at least half the time, and I’m not sure he knows either. The point is - there have been a lot. And then there was you.”
Alex studied hir, his focus absolute.
“Jamie, you’re his Taj Mahal. Something singular and... unassailable. Everyone said, back when he was nine, that the architecture thing was just a fad. But look at him now, well on his way to realising his childhood dreams. And you are the only other thing he has ever taken to in the same way. He might be young, but once his mind is set, nothing can change it.”
Jamie found that sie could barely breathe. There was no way sie could have refused Josh, but sie still worried - what if, what if, what if... He was so young... And suddenly, like a miracle, Alex had solved it. Found a way for hir to believe that it could all be true, that it would truly last. Except...
“But he wants all these things... Like... children. He says he doesn’t care, but he does. Ask Jack, he saw his face.”
Alex waved his hand dismissively.
“Oh I can help with that. All you need to do is love him - I’ll take care of any practical issues. Anything at all.” A frown. “Hey, don’t look so sceptical! Let me show you what I am. Properly, I mean, not just what you can pick up.”
Gently he reached out and laid his fingertips to Jamie’s temples, but it was the psychic touch that made hir eyes widen.
‘You’ve never done this before?’ Alex asked, and sie found hirself responding in the same manner.
‘No. Didn’t know I could...’
A soft mental chuckle.
‘Oh you have huge amounts of untapped potential - Star Poets use telepathy before speaking. I’ll teach you if you like? For now, do you want a tour? Don’t worry, I won’t peek - just step across and look around. Everything private is closed, so don’t worry about overstepping boundaries.’
Heart beating Jamie did as told, crossing over into someone else’s mind for the first time, and it was as easy as breathing...
‘Here,’ Alex added, ‘This is all I know about Arkateen V. Not a lot, but we’ll take you one day if you’re curious. I’m still grounded, but Jack could go.’
Sie absorbed the knowledge within mere moments, almost dizzy from sheer delight at the ease, even though sie could sense Alex’s laughter.
‘Told you,’ he said, ‘And I seriously have to train you. Humans on the whole are rubbish at telepathy...’
As sie moved around sie was struck by the sheer vastness of what his mind contained. So much knowledge... Although the most intriguing part was something sie couldn’t quite put hir finger on. It was what sie had picked up on from the moment sie walked through the door, but sie didn’t know what meant.
It was something luminous and immense, glimpsed only in bits here and there, but that sie could sense all around. Like lights round the edges of a closed door. Too curious to let it be, sie tried to push through to that light, and immediately a blank mental wall appeared.
‘Don’t.’
Sie blinked, looking with physical eyes at Alex, who didn’t seem angry at all, just unmoving.
‘Sorry...’
‘It’s not that it’s private as such. I just have no idea what will happen if I show you. It would probably kill you.’
His eyes were very calm, and Jamie swallowed.
A pause, as Alex seemed to turn things over, then a slow nod.
‘OK, a little peak. Like looking at the sun? If you only do it for a moment it won’t harm you, but you’ll probably be seeing spots for a good while. But it’ll explain better than words ever could... Ready?’
Jamie nodded, and suddenly the entirety of creation seemed to be unveiled - past, present, future; stars born and dying, galaxies and nebulas and the endless progression of time. Civilisations growing and falling back into ashes, wars and terrors and unceasing wonder... The scale and scope was so breathtaking that sie couldn’t move, and then it was too much - hir mind faltering through overload, too much, too much, there was pain, like burning- and then it all vanished.
Sie realised that sie was being held up by Alex, the mental link broken, as he looked at hir with concern.
“You OK? Sorry, I’ve never done that before, it’s hard to judge...”
Reaching up, sie felt the swiftest of mental sweeps through hir mind.
“No, you’re fine. No damage.” He bit his lip. “Josh would never forgive me if I hurt you.”
“What... what was that?” Sie asked, once sie’d regained hir equilibrium.
“That,” Alex said slowly, “was what a Time Lord is.”
“Time Lord,” sie repeated, the name ringing a faint bell... (‘We have Time Lords on speed dial...’)
“Latest and Last of,” he added. “And, as you saw, I can do almost anything.”
The impossible still vivid in hir mind, sie nodded. If someone had asked hir, sie wouldn’t have been able to reply with any specifics, but sie simply knew that manipulating the physical world - even time itself - was, for him, as simple as reaching out and just doing it. Eternity - everything sie had seen - in his mind, always. How did he concentrate? How did he notice anything in the present...
“And you hang around here. With people like us.”
A shrug.
“Well this is where I grew up, and where all my friends are. Although I’m sure you understand why I haven’t told Allison yet.”
The tone of voice was familiar, and sie knew what he meant to the very marrow of hir bones. It was how sie had lived for the past year and a half... Grateful for every day with hir beloved, yet knowing that at some point there would be a day of reckoning when it all could stop. Because what they had was too good to be true, and would probably not survive the unveiling.
Reaching out sie grasped his hand.
“I understand. Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me. And you never know, you might get a happy ending too.”
“I hope so,” he said softly. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose her. Although I will, one day, no matter what...”
A sigh, as he looked into the distance.
“Mind you, if I hadn’t grown up here, if I hadn’t been sent to Cambridge, I wouldn’t have known her at all - and that doesn’t bear thinking about. ‘Better to have loved and lost’, that’s what they say, isn’t it? I hope they’re right.”
Jamie wasn’t sure what to say - Alex had always been perfectly friendly, but had never tried to get close to hir in any way (something for which sie had been rather grateful - sie generally avoided getting close to anyone). This sudden outpouring of his heart was unexpected... and yet, after what he had shown hir - that golden, celestial well of eternity, the core of his being in ways sie knew sie’d never be able to formulate - this sharing seemed almost ordinary. It wasn’t the right word, but sie couldn’t think of another.
Dragging a hand through his hair, Alex smiled wryly.
"For some reason dating Allison has also gifted me with a new and unwelcome capacity for self-pity. Sorry. I think I was going to mention how I haven’t gotten you an engagement present yet."
Jamie waved hir hand, embarrassed. All this attention was not exactly hir favourite thing. "Oh you shouldn't."
"No, I really should. I know exactly what to get you. It won't cost a penny, although I'm sure it'll... satisfy both of you."
The look in his face was suddenly full of mischief, and Jamie's eyes narrowed.
"I'm sorry?"
Alex's smile didn't waver.
"It'll also double up as your first lesson."
"Are you going to explain what on earth you're on about?"
Sie was probably sounding a bit snippy, but sie didn't have a lot of patience for this kinda thing. His next question threw hir, however.
"Do you trust me?"
He'd trusted hir with... things unimaginable. Sie nodded assent.
Leaning forward, he put his fingertips to hir temples once more.
"OK, I need to you lower all your shields. Just for a moment."
Seeing hir hesitation, he added, with a sudden, unexpectedly serious emphasis: "It'll be worth it."
Taking a deep breath Jamie closed hir eyes and did as he asked, half of hir thinking that sie must have gone mad... And the next moment gasping in surprise as a sudden quiver of pure pleasure shot through hir.
Eyes snapping open sie stared at Alex, who had already lowered his hands, the connection broken.
“Wha-”
He smirked.
“Once you know how, you can achieve anything from the merest flutter of desire to actual orgasms through a simple touch, mind to mind.”
Jamie was still speechless, and Alex lifted an eyebrow.
"Certain parts of my ‘education’ were overseen my Jack. And no, that doesn't mean that we- Why does everyone think that?"
“Well, you’ve... obviously done that before,” Jamie offered, and Alex’s mock-exasperation turned to a strange wistfulness - a wistfulness which was combined with a surprisingly devious smile.
“Oh yes... So very much yes. And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t miss it. But then there are so many things I can’t have whilst I’m stuck here...”
Jamie’s response was instinctual rather than considered. It almost took hir by surprise, but then hir whole life had been turned upside down and sideways since the previous morning. And sie had found what sie had never dared dream of... Something Alex could still only hope for. Sie ached for him, and figured that what sie could offer wasn’t much - but it was something.
Reaching out, sie laid a hand on his cheek.
“Seeker... Let me.”
Before he could react to the use of his real name (sie had found it at the very core of that endless eternity that sie had almost been lost in) sie leaned in, kissing him as deeply as sie could, simultaneously diving into his mind, finding hir target in no time at all - it really was only a question of taking what he had done to hir and returning it.
Sie could feel him tremble under hir hands as sie gently familiarised hirself with this hitherto unknown skill; like a piano player searching for a tune on a new instrument - not sure what the tune might be, but knowing that it would be unmistakable as soon as it was found.
To hir surprise and delight it was music. From somewhere deep inside, somewhere sie hadn’t known before, sie could feel a melody - as instinctual as the kiss - guiding hir touch. Something sie knew to be Star Poet and not human at all.
The Seeker (not human at all, either) was enraptured, caught in hir song as sie overlaid bliss with bliss, ecstasy with ecstasy, weaving pleasure and passion with the lightest of touches, letting it swell and escalate, the layers blending in perfect harmony until it crested - every strand reaching a perfect crescendo, every note caught on the very edge, sustained and held in meticulous balance as the Time Lord under hir hands shivered in a release far, far removed from what any human would understand by the word.
Eventually (hir hands still on his face and the rhythm of his heartbeats easily sensed under his skin) he opened his eyes, looking at hir with eyes so full of wonder sie felt oddly shaken.
‘You truly are a Taj Mahal’ he said... Except those weren’t his actual words. Jamie, startled, realised that he must have been speaking what she presumed to be Gallifreyan. The meaning of the words being hard to capture (‘You truly are/were/will be a singular person/event/place in time/space’), yet overwhelming...
Feeling oddly drained and vulnerable after hir feat, Jamie wasn’t sure how to deal with this.
‘Please stop looking at me like that.’
A barely visible shake of his head.
‘I am the Seeker. Finding something like you - something new and wondrous - is what I live for.’
If there was a suitable response to a declaration like that, Jamie didn’t know it. A gentle mental chuckle rippled across Alex’s mind in response to hir befuddlement, helping to calm senses still unpractised and unsure.
‘Don’t worry, you don’t need to do or say anything. No wait, that’s not true. If you wouldn’t mind, please tell Josh that he was right and I was wrong and I’m sorry.’
‘What for?’ Jamie asked, by now thoroughly puzzled, and he sighed.
‘I could have made things easier for you. And vice versa. I was stupid and selfish and wouldn't allow him to tell you about me. So... I’m sorry to you to.’
‘Don’t... don’t mention it,’ sie replied. ‘What’s happened, happened. I don’t know that I would have been able to trust you back then. It’s taken me until now to believe that Josh is actually real...’
Another chuckle.
‘Still - please tell Josh? He was very angry, and with good cause. Also I’m still happy to teach you, although you might not need me, going by today’s evidence...’
Jamie tried smiling, but didn’t quite manage it. All these things inside, all these things sie’d never known - the initial fear replaced by the unexpected thrill of discovery.
‘I’ve never done that before. I didn’t know that I could. Didn’t know that I-’
‘Could sing?’ he filled in, and sie nodded again.
‘Neither did I’, he replied, studying hir with something like wonder. ‘It was... incredible. I... hope to teach Allison your song one day.’
Suddenly jolted out of their little bubble, Jamie looked at him with worry:
‘Was this cheating?’
‘I don’t know’, he replied simply. ‘How do you compare singing and dancing? To Jack it’s all the same - and the lines certainly blur if you do both at the same time - but then Jack has no concept of fidelity as such, so he’s not the best guide out there... The mindset of the 51st Century doesn’t mesh very well with the mores of the 21st.’
‘You’re not helping!’
Alex tilted his head.
‘Are you sorry it happened?’
There was no point in lying - not that their communication, mind-to-mind, would have allowed it anyway.
‘No.’
‘Well then. If it ever becomes an issue, you know where you - we - stand.’
‘But... but what do I do?’
Alex leaned in, kissing hir so softly it felt more like a caress, and as he pulled back also let go of the mental link, leaving Jamie feeling acutely bereft and lonely.
“You go home, and you sing to your fiancé. Tell him as much or as little as you want, I only ask that you don’t mention it to Allie. I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get to it. But I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, and... I will remember it forever.”
Jamie nodded, clasping hir hands together and feeling the reassuring solidness of the ring on hir finger. Sie had touched eternity, and had found a song entirely hir own. Yet sie had roots now, firm and stable, something real to build hir life upon.
And sie wasn't alone.
Chapter 17
(For anyone curious, there is a lovely scene of a Star Poet singing (actual physical singing, not the other kind that I invented) here. 4:05 - 5:45)