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...And I am dead.
The comments in this post made me see Ten's attitude to his death (something I know a lot of people have a problem with) in a new light...
The Tenth Doctor: Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away. And I’m dead.
A lot of fans dislike this, since it seems to deny the continuity of the Doctor - the fact that no matter the face, he is the Doctor. But looking at John Smith, something suddenly clicked for me. Ten's most recent experiences of death are very final. John Smith's death was *exactly* what he describes above - he died, and the Doctor sauntered away, wearing his face. And he was dead. Because - despite John Smith being *somewhere* inside the Doctor - he was well and truly dead. The Doctor might long for the simplicity of John Smith's life, but so much of it is wildly at odds with who and what he (the Doctor) is. And, going by the viciousness of his revenge on the Family, the whole situation affected him very, very deeply. A human being died, and that human was him. Is it any wonder that his views on death were adversely affected?
Then there's Donna. His friend Donna who died and some different version sauntered away. And she was dead. (I rewatched Journey's End recently. The relentlessness of Dalek Caan's 'One of them will die' is horribly depressing.)
Ten is generally extremely screwed up, and even more so when it comes to death, something he keeps flirting with... But also, there is another reason for his speech, I think. He continually throws himself in harms way, ready to sacrifice his life - and yet he runs when it might be reality. The reason is the fact that it is out of his hands. I've talked before about Ten's control-issues, and I think the fact that his death is coming, and that there is nothing he can do to stop it, eats away at him. Because Ten also feels quite entitled in a lot of ways. (IMHO) he feels that it is desperately unfair that he has to die - he's lost so much already (Rose, Joan, the Master, Jenny, River etc.) and does he also have to lose himself? (Why can't he control life and death? Ooooh, Timelord Victorious, you were only ever a tiny step away.) Basically, he feels resentful and angry and desperate - hence the speech. (Poor Ten...)
And maybe, in the end, the fact that his death *is* his own choice after all is what sets him free and paves the way for Eleven...
The Tenth Doctor: Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away. And I’m dead.
A lot of fans dislike this, since it seems to deny the continuity of the Doctor - the fact that no matter the face, he is the Doctor. But looking at John Smith, something suddenly clicked for me. Ten's most recent experiences of death are very final. John Smith's death was *exactly* what he describes above - he died, and the Doctor sauntered away, wearing his face. And he was dead. Because - despite John Smith being *somewhere* inside the Doctor - he was well and truly dead. The Doctor might long for the simplicity of John Smith's life, but so much of it is wildly at odds with who and what he (the Doctor) is. And, going by the viciousness of his revenge on the Family, the whole situation affected him very, very deeply. A human being died, and that human was him. Is it any wonder that his views on death were adversely affected?
Then there's Donna. His friend Donna who died and some different version sauntered away. And she was dead. (I rewatched Journey's End recently. The relentlessness of Dalek Caan's 'One of them will die' is horribly depressing.)
Ten is generally extremely screwed up, and even more so when it comes to death, something he keeps flirting with... But also, there is another reason for his speech, I think. He continually throws himself in harms way, ready to sacrifice his life - and yet he runs when it might be reality. The reason is the fact that it is out of his hands. I've talked before about Ten's control-issues, and I think the fact that his death is coming, and that there is nothing he can do to stop it, eats away at him. Because Ten also feels quite entitled in a lot of ways. (IMHO) he feels that it is desperately unfair that he has to die - he's lost so much already (Rose, Joan, the Master, Jenny, River etc.) and does he also have to lose himself? (Why can't he control life and death? Ooooh, Timelord Victorious, you were only ever a tiny step away.) Basically, he feels resentful and angry and desperate - hence the speech. (Poor Ten...)
And maybe, in the end, the fact that his death *is* his own choice after all is what sets him free and paves the way for Eleven...
no subject
And now I'm back - but just to say thank you for sharing your thoughts which make a lot of sense. I didn't have a problem with the manner of Ten's death - I didn't see his final words as "whiny" as some did, because I thought that here was a man who, despite all the crap that life had thrown at him, still wanted to live and IMO there's something desperately heroic about that. But the idea that he's possibly the only Doctor who could liken regeneration to death hadn't occurred to me before; same with your comments about Donna's "death" and her "regeneration" as a different person.
I also found myself nodding at
Anyway - thanks for sharing and for an interesting discussion.
no subject
Well thank you very much! :)
I didn't have a problem with the manner of Ten's death - I didn't see his final words as "whiny" as some did, because I thought that here was a man who, despite all the crap that life had thrown at him, still wanted to live and IMO there's something desperately heroic about that.
Oh yes. (You've read this meta I presume?) Also, I think that for all his suicidal tendencies, he didn't want to die. To quote one of my friends, because she puts it perfectly:
'It's a story about a point in my life where sometimes living seemed bleak and hopeless and impossibly hard. And often enough, at those times – and they were rare – I’d find myself standing on the bridge looking over the river, mesmerised, or sitting at my window looking three floors down to the ground. And never, ever with an intention to do – simply in acknowledgment of the thought. But I'd hate that the thought – the feeling - would be there. And then one day it hit me, and it was never the magic solution that made it all go away, but it made a difference, I think. I didn't want to die; I wanted to jump.'
But the idea that he's possibly the only Doctor who could liken regeneration to death hadn't occurred to me before; same with your comments about Donna's "death" and her "regeneration" as a different person.
When I made the connection my jaw literally dropped. I love it when that happens - when something fits together and you go 'Oh of course!'
I also found myself nodding at solitary_summer's comment about the ambiguity of Rusty's stories.
She's written the meta about the RTD era: Death, life, and what it means to be human in RTD's Doctor Who and Torchwood. Very, very, very long. But worth it!
Anyway - thanks for sharing and for an interesting discussion.
Thank you for commenting. :)
no subject
Lightbulb moments are always good ;-)
no subject
Oh do I know *that* feeling! (Which is why I tend to only read positive reviews. I can live without wanting to hit people over the head... Well, I don't mind fair criticism, but so often people just bash. *sigh*)
Lightbulb moments are always good ;-)
They really are!
no subject
I completely agree. What I love so much about Ten is that despite the moments of darkness and despair he also has a fundamental love for life that I always felt was absolutely genuine, and I'm happy that his last moment was about that. There are worse kinds of regret. Besides if he hadn't minded dying, if the decision hadn't cost him anything, his sacrifice would have been worthless.
no subject
That's it exactly. This show has always been about the choices the Doctor has to make, and in the new era especially, the cost of many of those choices.