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...And I am dead.
The comments in this post made me see Ten's attitude to his death (something I know a lot of people have a problem with) in a new light...
The Tenth Doctor: Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away. And I’m dead.
A lot of fans dislike this, since it seems to deny the continuity of the Doctor - the fact that no matter the face, he is the Doctor. But looking at John Smith, something suddenly clicked for me. Ten's most recent experiences of death are very final. John Smith's death was *exactly* what he describes above - he died, and the Doctor sauntered away, wearing his face. And he was dead. Because - despite John Smith being *somewhere* inside the Doctor - he was well and truly dead. The Doctor might long for the simplicity of John Smith's life, but so much of it is wildly at odds with who and what he (the Doctor) is. And, going by the viciousness of his revenge on the Family, the whole situation affected him very, very deeply. A human being died, and that human was him. Is it any wonder that his views on death were adversely affected?
Then there's Donna. His friend Donna who died and some different version sauntered away. And she was dead. (I rewatched Journey's End recently. The relentlessness of Dalek Caan's 'One of them will die' is horribly depressing.)
Ten is generally extremely screwed up, and even more so when it comes to death, something he keeps flirting with... But also, there is another reason for his speech, I think. He continually throws himself in harms way, ready to sacrifice his life - and yet he runs when it might be reality. The reason is the fact that it is out of his hands. I've talked before about Ten's control-issues, and I think the fact that his death is coming, and that there is nothing he can do to stop it, eats away at him. Because Ten also feels quite entitled in a lot of ways. (IMHO) he feels that it is desperately unfair that he has to die - he's lost so much already (Rose, Joan, the Master, Jenny, River etc.) and does he also have to lose himself? (Why can't he control life and death? Ooooh, Timelord Victorious, you were only ever a tiny step away.) Basically, he feels resentful and angry and desperate - hence the speech. (Poor Ten...)
And maybe, in the end, the fact that his death *is* his own choice after all is what sets him free and paves the way for Eleven...
The Tenth Doctor: Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away. And I’m dead.
A lot of fans dislike this, since it seems to deny the continuity of the Doctor - the fact that no matter the face, he is the Doctor. But looking at John Smith, something suddenly clicked for me. Ten's most recent experiences of death are very final. John Smith's death was *exactly* what he describes above - he died, and the Doctor sauntered away, wearing his face. And he was dead. Because - despite John Smith being *somewhere* inside the Doctor - he was well and truly dead. The Doctor might long for the simplicity of John Smith's life, but so much of it is wildly at odds with who and what he (the Doctor) is. And, going by the viciousness of his revenge on the Family, the whole situation affected him very, very deeply. A human being died, and that human was him. Is it any wonder that his views on death were adversely affected?
Then there's Donna. His friend Donna who died and some different version sauntered away. And she was dead. (I rewatched Journey's End recently. The relentlessness of Dalek Caan's 'One of them will die' is horribly depressing.)
Ten is generally extremely screwed up, and even more so when it comes to death, something he keeps flirting with... But also, there is another reason for his speech, I think. He continually throws himself in harms way, ready to sacrifice his life - and yet he runs when it might be reality. The reason is the fact that it is out of his hands. I've talked before about Ten's control-issues, and I think the fact that his death is coming, and that there is nothing he can do to stop it, eats away at him. Because Ten also feels quite entitled in a lot of ways. (IMHO) he feels that it is desperately unfair that he has to die - he's lost so much already (Rose, Joan, the Master, Jenny, River etc.) and does he also have to lose himself? (Why can't he control life and death? Ooooh, Timelord Victorious, you were only ever a tiny step away.) Basically, he feels resentful and angry and desperate - hence the speech. (Poor Ten...)
And maybe, in the end, the fact that his death *is* his own choice after all is what sets him free and paves the way for Eleven...
no subject
Thank you. :)
To that point, this is a Time Lord on his 10th regeneration -- he knows exactly what it feels like to have gone from a previous self into a newer self and to have his personalities and quirks and tastes die and become something new over and over again.
*nods a lot* I wish I was more familiar with Old!Who, since the only other New!Who regeneration we have is Nine's and that is as different as can be. Esp, I think, because Nine has already made up his mind to die/sacrifice himself when Rose appears, so dying for her (after she saves the world) is not such a bad deal. Ten, as you say, knows what's coming and resists, having more than enough time to brood on all the drawbacks. (I love Eleven's conversation with Sarah Jane btw. and the ways in which he doesn't answer her questions about Ten.)
no subject
True true. Then you also have the s3 post-Rose "who cares, go ahead, kill me as long as it saves people" Ten. Like how he's willing to have his blood sucked without a backup plan in Smith & Jones -- and have it be only luck that Martha stumbled into the room and could revive him. Or of course "Kill me if it’ll stop you attacking these people! Then do it! Do it! Just do it! DOOO IIIIIIT!" in Evolution of the Daleks. I think after he loses Rose, he temporarily goes back to Nine's mindset because as he tells Lazarus, "I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you. Tried of watching everything turn to dust."
(Some people who dislike Rose vehemently, vehemently disagree with me on this lolol, oh well).
no subject
Oooh yes. He is reckless, bordering on suicidal for a lot of S3, and I think it's definitely because of Rose. Love her or loathe her, her importance to him is immense, since she's the first person he really connects to post-Time War. Plus, of course, she's willing to risk everything to be with him, and he dies for her... That's pretty powerful stuff. ("If I believe in anything, I believe in her!") Poor Ten...