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Because Cavemen Have Fire, the Sequel. Chapter 7. (Last chapter!)
So, it turns out that I can write fic when I'm on holiday. I wasn't going to post it until I got home, but when I thought about it a little, I realised that I'll be run off my feet then, so here it is. (Feedback will be devoured and replied to, but there might be a little delay between the two.) As for why it took me two months to write this... Well, the summary finally comes into play. Quite simply I didn't want to write it, even though it works beautifully. You'll see why. (Oh and the quality of the writing is... not so much. Sorry. It didn't like me.) Anyway, to the WIP-avoidy (and all you people out there waiting), here you are!
Many, many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kathyh for the throughtful beta, and to adoxerella (she knows why!).
Previous installments of the 'verse here.
Summary: There are always consequences.
Setting: Post-NFA. (And Buffy never dated The Immortal.)
Rating: Mild R.
Pairings: S/B/A.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: I am not Joss and do not own these characters! [/obvious]
Chapter 7
May 2005
"Buffy - could I have a word?"
"Sure," she smiled, "which one were you thinking of?"
Giles faltered for a moment as 'coward' flashed through his mind, before covering up the discomfort with a polite smile. "Ah. Yes quite. I see your wit is still sharp enough to slay a watcher. If you'd come in?"
He stood aside and let her walk past him into his office, in the process waving goodbye to the young Slayer she'd been chatting to. As he closed the door behind them she fell into one of the comfy armchairs by his desk.
"So what's up? I'm figuring it can't be anything major, since you're not calling a proper war council."
He shook his head as he walked round the desk, before pulling out a drawer and extracting a folder.
"No it's nothing much, to be honest. Just an old case that I thought maybe you - or rather Spike and Angel, if you'd be so kind as to be my messenger - could possibly shed light on. It's a long shot, but..."
He let his voice trail off, wondering if the vampires had ever told her of their meeting down in the archives. He had made a point of avoiding them since, through a discomfort that he knew was cowardly, but that he couldn't shake. Buffy, thankfully, seemed as unwilling to discuss the finer points of their sleeping arrangements as he did, and they generally managed to avoid the topic with great success. As for this particular inquiry, he could easily have asked the vampires himself he knew, but the thought of confronting them again - even with an inquiry as innocuous as this one - filled him with unspecified dread, so instead he had (after many weeks worth of prevarication) decided on going through Buffy, even though it would require a few explanations.
"Go on," she said, he sat down, folder on the desk.
"Did you ever hear of the Phoenix Massacre?"
She thought for a moment. "I don't think so. When are we talking?"
"September - I think you were in Spain at the time, and it was an isolated incident so it's unlikely that you ever saw the report... Long story short, a local businessman - Richard Sherman - was, along with all his guests, murdered during his 50th birthday celebrations. There are photos..."
He opened the file and his hand hovered over the gruesome pile, uncertain, as Buffy held out her hand. "They're... quite graphic," he warned, handing them over, and he saw her flinch as she took in the bloodbath.
"We never found the culprits, although it looks as if either Sherman - or possibly the perpetrators - were planning a ritual sacrifice, judging by the altar. And as you'll see, some of the victims were drained of their blood."
"Vampires?" she asked, and he shook his head.
"No, it wouldn't seem so." He indicated the photos, and she flicked through until she reached the relevant ones. Her swiftly subdued look of pure disgust spoke vividly as she took in the figures strung up by their feet to a chandelier, throats slit.
"Now we know that he was a W&H client, so it's possible that this was some kind of retribution. Of course we tried to pursue this avenue of inquiry, but they're not keen on sharing, as I'm sure you know."
"So what do you want from me - or Spike and Angel rather?"
"Ah." He withdrew a report from the folder. "Like I said, Sherman himself and all his guests were murdered. Locked in with a holding spell as far as we could ascertain. However, his daughter and the staff were taken to safety by two unidentified men. Our local Slayer tried her best to get a description, but all she managed to get out of the witnesses was that they were wearing long dark coats. Now I didn't give much thought to the identity of these men at the time, but with hindsight..."
Buffy nodded. "You think they might know who was behind it?"
"If it was Spike and Angel who were at the scene, I hoped maybe they could help us locate the perpetrators, or at least give us a clue as to who they could be... Angel, certainly, knows a great deal more about W&H's working methods than I or anyone else in the Council..."
"Gotcha," Buffy nodded, and he gratefully handed over the folder. It was a long shot, but he disliked unsolved cases. And they'd mentioned Phoenix that night in the archives...
***
She could smell the dinner even halfway up the stairs, and smiled to herself. How had she ever coped before she had live-in vampires to fuss over her?
When she entered she saw Angel deep in study on the sofa, books piled up on the table in front of him, and heard a happy shout of welcome from the kitchen.
"Giles asked for a favour, by the way," she said, tossing the folder on the table on top of the smallest book pile and leaning in to kiss Angel. "He wondered if you knew anything about this? Bit of a Cold Case kinda deal."
Angel smiled, detaching himself from the tome he was embedded in, and picked up the folder. She turned, shrugging out of her coat, and walked off to hang it up. "Long shot, I know, but maybe you've got some Wolfram and Heart-y background or something? Poor Giles, he's still all embarrassed..."
When she returned from the hallway she saw the folder opened, and Angel with the photos in his hand, frozen in place.
"I know the pictures are... pretty hardcore, but I figured you'd seen worse..." She stopped, uncertain. "Angel? Are you OK?"
Had she accidentally hit on some old trauma? Or maybe he'd known some of the people? Spike (soft curls framing his face and a spatula in his hand) appeared in the kitchen doorway a second later, looking from her to Angel.
"What's the matter?"
Angel finally moved, head turning to meet Spike's eyes, and then spoke, voice flat and emotionless.
"Phoenix."
Spike's face changed instantly. A flicker of something (other) flashed across his features, and for a second Buffy could almost feel her own presence vanish from their minds. Then Spike closed his eyes and let his head fall against the doorway.
"Oh fuck."
"What is it?" she asked, worry shooting through her. Angel didn't answer, and when Spike opened his eyes again his face was carefully expressionless.
"End of the line, pet."
She shook her head. "Enough with the cryptic, talk to me!"
Slowly Angel turned back to her, eyes so dark that she almost shuddered.
"Buffy... If we tell you the truth, it's over."
He had that stubborn look on his face once again, and quiet fury began to take over. 'Not again', she thought, 'We did this already.'
"Tell me," she said, folding her arms and staring them down. They were dictating the rules again, which was beyond infuriating. How often did they have to do this? After everything they'd been through, what difference could Phoenix make?
Then Spike started talking, and her world fell apart.
***
The knock on the door made Faith frown. One, she didn't know who it could be (grab a stake, just in case) and two, who-or-what-ever-it-was was interrupting her viewing of The Simpsons. When she opened the door, however, she was faced with Buffy, a holdall in one hand and the Scythe in the other.
"What's up?" Faith asked, uncertain, because the last time she'd seen that carefully controlled look of heartbreak on her fellow Slayer's face she'd just been thrown out of her own house. And no way in hell Spike and Angel would ever do that. Or maybe something had happened to them...
"I think it's over," Buffy said quietly. "Can I crash here?"
"Sure. It's a bit-" Faith waved towards the not-very-ordered mess, taken aback by this unexpected turn of events (Buffy's little ménage à trois had until now come across as the very definition of bliss), but Buffy just shrugged and walked through the door. "Don't care. Just needed to... get away."
She sank down into the old sofa (a bargain from the bric-a-brac place down the road), the bag by her feet but the weapon still clutched tightly in her hand.
"What happened?" Faith asked, carefully closing the door before clicking off the TV. For a moment Buffy didn't answer, then slowly she put down the Scythe and opened her holdall.
"Did you ever hear about the Phoenix Massacre?" she asked, and Faith nodded.
"Yeah, it was one of Vi's girls who checked it out, and she got pretty freaked out. Majorly gross as far as I remember."
She took the folder that Buffy silently handed her and flicked through it, nodding to herself. Vi's girl had been pretty green still, and - despite having done exceedingly well - Vi had recommended that she take some time off.
Looking up she saw Buffy watching her, then: "It was them."
"Them who?"
"Spike. And Angel. They did it. Giles... Giles thought that maybe they were the ones who'd helped the daughter and the staff escape - and it was. But then they locked all the guests in. And killed them."
"Jeez..." Faith managed, lowering her eyes and focussing once more on the photos. Humans and demons torn to pieces, the floor slippery with blood...
"But- but they were evil, right? He was like a W&H lackey or something..."
"Oh yeah," Buffy said. "Seriously bad news. He was going to sacrifice his daughter for wealth and influence, and the guests were all there to watch."
"So..." Faith prompted, as Buffy didn't continue. "So they deserved it, right?"
"Suppose so. But that's not... that was just an excuse. They didn't have to kill them, but they did anyway - because they wanted to, because they could," she said slowly, bitterly. "And they had fun."
She shook her head, silently, and Faith sat down next to her, carefully stowing the photos into the folder, disappointment like a heavy weight in her chest.
"And that's not even the worst of it..."
"Buffy..." Faith said helplessly, putting an arm around her shoulders, as Buffy stared ahead, clearly not ready to let go of the rigorous control yet, and Faith wondered what was coming. What could possibly be worse?
Finally Buffy turned to her, eyes haunted.
"They're not sorry. 'No regrets', that's how they put it. Apparently-" she faltered briefly, then continued, voice only trembling for a moment, "-apparently the sex was too good."
Faith inhaled sharply, as Buffy buried her head in her hands. There seemed nothing to say, so Faith just kept her hand on Buffy's back, the disappointment turning to shock and disgust. She was the first to acknowledge that fighting made you horny, but this...
For the longest moment Buffy didn't move, but then she slowly lowered her hands, looking at Faith with haunted eyes.
"I don't know anymore, Faith. I thought I knew them, I thought- God, they've shared my bed for half a year..."
She tried to suppress a shudder, but didn't succeed very well. "They told me, of course - told me that I couldn't trust them, but I wouldn't believe it. Never thought that-"
Finally she broke down and Faith could only hold her silently, eyes of their own accord finding their way back to the inauspicious folder, and she wondered what Buffy had said to them. Had she screamed at them, the way Faith wanted to now? Or had she been too hurt?
"What are you going to do? Is it like over over?" she finally asked, once Buffy had calmed down, and Buffy shook her head, lost.
"I don't know... I already miss them, how ridiculous is that? Can I... Can I stay here while I work things out?"
"Sure," Faith replied. "Make yourself at home, girlfriend. But what do I tell... y'know, people?"
"Girlfriend bonding time?" Buffy offered with a weak smile, and Faith nodded.
"Cool. Don't worry about things, I'll make sure you get some peace."
"Thank you," Buffy replied, "Thank you for... just being here. The others wouldn't understand..."
(Thank God we're hot chicks with super powers...)
Faith nodded again. Sometimes they needed that lifeline - someone so much like themselves that they didn't need to explain. Someone whose face they'd worn. Literally.
***
***
Buffy didn't talk much the next few days. Faith took over her training schedule and other duties at the Council, casually telling Giles that Buffy had decided on a brief holiday. Giles, although looking a bit surprised, had not said much. There'd been a minor crisis in China somewhere, and he was run off his feet. As long as the work got done, he wasn't going to kick up a fuss.
After four days of more or less silent contemplation (and one night of dangerous slaying - Faith could tell the cuts were deep, even if Buffy had not done anything except slap some bandaids on them after a shower), Buffy finally seemed to have made a decision. When Faith came home she was standing by the window, looking out, her holdall once more packed and by the door, and the Scythe held in her hand.
She turned as Faith entered, and they watched each other in silence for a moment, then Buffy took a deep breath.
"I'm going back to them."
Faith nodded, wondering what this decision would cost her friend.
"Spike told me once that no matter how much I love them, they'll always be monsters. I didn't understand then. Or maybe I didn't want to face the consequences. I wanted it all - their world and mine. But I can't have that, and I'm choosing them."
For a moment she was silent, and Faith didn't know what to say.
(Are you the Bad Slayer now? Am I the Good Slayer now?)
Her questions must have shown on her face, because Buffy lowered her eyes.
"I know what you're thinking. And I'm not OK with what they did. But I've been thinking, and I worked something out: They're not my responsibility. And they're not human, and never will be, but I... want them. Despite... because of what they are. And I know it's screwed up, but I lost them once, and I... I can't throw away what we have."
Faith held up her hands. "Hey chill - no need to justify yourself to me."
"I think I'm probably trying to justify myself to myself," Buffy replied wryly, before continuing, sombre once more.
"Anyway, I'm going to go see Giles now, hand in my resignation. Figure I can work with Spike and Angel to take down W&H, I know they could do with the help. And I dunno - maybe I could write a book some day. The Insider's Guide to Vampires or something. Something to help the other girls understand what we fight; how... deep it runs."
Her knuckles clutching the Scythe were white, but then she hefted it and walked over to Faith, holding it out.
"Lead them well."
For a moment Faith was completely speechless, frozen in place, and Buffy's hand wavered for just a moment.
"Please Faith..."
"Course, B," she finally said, grasping the Scythe firmly, "but are you sure?"
Buffy nodded. "It's the only way it can work."
Their eyes met, silent understanding between them.
"Be happy," Faith said softly, and a small smile touched Buffy's mouth.
"That's the idea..."
After she'd left, Faith didn't move for a long time.
(It's old. It's strong, and it feels like... like it's mine.)
A whole new life, in the blink of an eye. She held the Scythe tightly, and slowly smiled.
***
No dinner smell this time. No smell at all. But when she reached her door Buffy stopped, leaning into it. She had been worried that - despite her instructions - they would have left, but she could feel them. Closing her eyes she let herself remember Spike's crypt, remembered sensing him everywhere she was. So lost, and yet fighting against the only one who'd found her.
(He's everything I hate. He's everything that... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time I ever feel anything is when...)
Playing with fire, that's what he'd said. Like cavemen. Like she'd sung once. But how could she live without? She should have known, back when Angel had given her a cross (Don't trust me)... Known that this contradiction was what would always draw her in.
So now there would be no more lies, no more hiding. Just the three of them, and the fire...
'I'm not your Saviour,' she thought. 'Your sins are your own to carry. If we kill each other, then so be it. This is my choice.'
She took a deep breath and opened the door. Two demons with human faces; beloved, beautiful, dangerous, deadly. Hers.
She was the girl who loved monsters, but her life wasn't a fairy tale. She kissed them, but the monsters never left, and she'd never have her happily ever after. But she had this.
"I'm back," she said. "And here's how it's going to be."
***
They were always there. She could feel them, sense them, one on each side - like body guards, or loyal servants from times past. Her black shadows. She knew what people said about her, the way the other slayers talked. How her life was a dance with the bizarre and how she was more like a demon than a slayer. How the night was a part of her, how the hunt and the kill and the blood ran deeper in her than the others. And how she shared her life and her bed with two vampires...
But they didn’t understand. And she didn’t care. She’d lived and died and saved the world enough times to do whatever the hell she wanted.
The End
Many, many thanks to
kathyh for the throughtful beta, and to adoxerella (she knows why!).Previous installments of the 'verse here.
Summary: There are always consequences.
Setting: Post-NFA. (And Buffy never dated The Immortal.)
Rating: Mild R.
Pairings: S/B/A.
Feedback: Please?
Disclaimer: I am not Joss and do not own these characters! [/obvious]
Chapter 7
May 2005
"Buffy - could I have a word?"
"Sure," she smiled, "which one were you thinking of?"
Giles faltered for a moment as 'coward' flashed through his mind, before covering up the discomfort with a polite smile. "Ah. Yes quite. I see your wit is still sharp enough to slay a watcher. If you'd come in?"
He stood aside and let her walk past him into his office, in the process waving goodbye to the young Slayer she'd been chatting to. As he closed the door behind them she fell into one of the comfy armchairs by his desk.
"So what's up? I'm figuring it can't be anything major, since you're not calling a proper war council."
He shook his head as he walked round the desk, before pulling out a drawer and extracting a folder.
"No it's nothing much, to be honest. Just an old case that I thought maybe you - or rather Spike and Angel, if you'd be so kind as to be my messenger - could possibly shed light on. It's a long shot, but..."
He let his voice trail off, wondering if the vampires had ever told her of their meeting down in the archives. He had made a point of avoiding them since, through a discomfort that he knew was cowardly, but that he couldn't shake. Buffy, thankfully, seemed as unwilling to discuss the finer points of their sleeping arrangements as he did, and they generally managed to avoid the topic with great success. As for this particular inquiry, he could easily have asked the vampires himself he knew, but the thought of confronting them again - even with an inquiry as innocuous as this one - filled him with unspecified dread, so instead he had (after many weeks worth of prevarication) decided on going through Buffy, even though it would require a few explanations.
"Go on," she said, he sat down, folder on the desk.
"Did you ever hear of the Phoenix Massacre?"
She thought for a moment. "I don't think so. When are we talking?"
"September - I think you were in Spain at the time, and it was an isolated incident so it's unlikely that you ever saw the report... Long story short, a local businessman - Richard Sherman - was, along with all his guests, murdered during his 50th birthday celebrations. There are photos..."
He opened the file and his hand hovered over the gruesome pile, uncertain, as Buffy held out her hand. "They're... quite graphic," he warned, handing them over, and he saw her flinch as she took in the bloodbath.
"We never found the culprits, although it looks as if either Sherman - or possibly the perpetrators - were planning a ritual sacrifice, judging by the altar. And as you'll see, some of the victims were drained of their blood."
"Vampires?" she asked, and he shook his head.
"No, it wouldn't seem so." He indicated the photos, and she flicked through until she reached the relevant ones. Her swiftly subdued look of pure disgust spoke vividly as she took in the figures strung up by their feet to a chandelier, throats slit.
"Now we know that he was a W&H client, so it's possible that this was some kind of retribution. Of course we tried to pursue this avenue of inquiry, but they're not keen on sharing, as I'm sure you know."
"So what do you want from me - or Spike and Angel rather?"
"Ah." He withdrew a report from the folder. "Like I said, Sherman himself and all his guests were murdered. Locked in with a holding spell as far as we could ascertain. However, his daughter and the staff were taken to safety by two unidentified men. Our local Slayer tried her best to get a description, but all she managed to get out of the witnesses was that they were wearing long dark coats. Now I didn't give much thought to the identity of these men at the time, but with hindsight..."
Buffy nodded. "You think they might know who was behind it?"
"If it was Spike and Angel who were at the scene, I hoped maybe they could help us locate the perpetrators, or at least give us a clue as to who they could be... Angel, certainly, knows a great deal more about W&H's working methods than I or anyone else in the Council..."
"Gotcha," Buffy nodded, and he gratefully handed over the folder. It was a long shot, but he disliked unsolved cases. And they'd mentioned Phoenix that night in the archives...
She could smell the dinner even halfway up the stairs, and smiled to herself. How had she ever coped before she had live-in vampires to fuss over her?
When she entered she saw Angel deep in study on the sofa, books piled up on the table in front of him, and heard a happy shout of welcome from the kitchen.
"Giles asked for a favour, by the way," she said, tossing the folder on the table on top of the smallest book pile and leaning in to kiss Angel. "He wondered if you knew anything about this? Bit of a Cold Case kinda deal."
Angel smiled, detaching himself from the tome he was embedded in, and picked up the folder. She turned, shrugging out of her coat, and walked off to hang it up. "Long shot, I know, but maybe you've got some Wolfram and Heart-y background or something? Poor Giles, he's still all embarrassed..."
When she returned from the hallway she saw the folder opened, and Angel with the photos in his hand, frozen in place.
"I know the pictures are... pretty hardcore, but I figured you'd seen worse..." She stopped, uncertain. "Angel? Are you OK?"
Had she accidentally hit on some old trauma? Or maybe he'd known some of the people? Spike (soft curls framing his face and a spatula in his hand) appeared in the kitchen doorway a second later, looking from her to Angel.
"What's the matter?"
Angel finally moved, head turning to meet Spike's eyes, and then spoke, voice flat and emotionless.
"Phoenix."
Spike's face changed instantly. A flicker of something (other) flashed across his features, and for a second Buffy could almost feel her own presence vanish from their minds. Then Spike closed his eyes and let his head fall against the doorway.
"Oh fuck."
"What is it?" she asked, worry shooting through her. Angel didn't answer, and when Spike opened his eyes again his face was carefully expressionless.
"End of the line, pet."
She shook her head. "Enough with the cryptic, talk to me!"
Slowly Angel turned back to her, eyes so dark that she almost shuddered.
"Buffy... If we tell you the truth, it's over."
He had that stubborn look on his face once again, and quiet fury began to take over. 'Not again', she thought, 'We did this already.'
"Tell me," she said, folding her arms and staring them down. They were dictating the rules again, which was beyond infuriating. How often did they have to do this? After everything they'd been through, what difference could Phoenix make?
Then Spike started talking, and her world fell apart.
The knock on the door made Faith frown. One, she didn't know who it could be (grab a stake, just in case) and two, who-or-what-ever-it-was was interrupting her viewing of The Simpsons. When she opened the door, however, she was faced with Buffy, a holdall in one hand and the Scythe in the other.
"What's up?" Faith asked, uncertain, because the last time she'd seen that carefully controlled look of heartbreak on her fellow Slayer's face she'd just been thrown out of her own house. And no way in hell Spike and Angel would ever do that. Or maybe something had happened to them...
"I think it's over," Buffy said quietly. "Can I crash here?"
"Sure. It's a bit-" Faith waved towards the not-very-ordered mess, taken aback by this unexpected turn of events (Buffy's little ménage à trois had until now come across as the very definition of bliss), but Buffy just shrugged and walked through the door. "Don't care. Just needed to... get away."
She sank down into the old sofa (a bargain from the bric-a-brac place down the road), the bag by her feet but the weapon still clutched tightly in her hand.
"What happened?" Faith asked, carefully closing the door before clicking off the TV. For a moment Buffy didn't answer, then slowly she put down the Scythe and opened her holdall.
"Did you ever hear about the Phoenix Massacre?" she asked, and Faith nodded.
"Yeah, it was one of Vi's girls who checked it out, and she got pretty freaked out. Majorly gross as far as I remember."
She took the folder that Buffy silently handed her and flicked through it, nodding to herself. Vi's girl had been pretty green still, and - despite having done exceedingly well - Vi had recommended that she take some time off.
Looking up she saw Buffy watching her, then: "It was them."
"Them who?"
"Spike. And Angel. They did it. Giles... Giles thought that maybe they were the ones who'd helped the daughter and the staff escape - and it was. But then they locked all the guests in. And killed them."
"Jeez..." Faith managed, lowering her eyes and focussing once more on the photos. Humans and demons torn to pieces, the floor slippery with blood...
"But- but they were evil, right? He was like a W&H lackey or something..."
"Oh yeah," Buffy said. "Seriously bad news. He was going to sacrifice his daughter for wealth and influence, and the guests were all there to watch."
"So..." Faith prompted, as Buffy didn't continue. "So they deserved it, right?"
"Suppose so. But that's not... that was just an excuse. They didn't have to kill them, but they did anyway - because they wanted to, because they could," she said slowly, bitterly. "And they had fun."
She shook her head, silently, and Faith sat down next to her, carefully stowing the photos into the folder, disappointment like a heavy weight in her chest.
"And that's not even the worst of it..."
"Buffy..." Faith said helplessly, putting an arm around her shoulders, as Buffy stared ahead, clearly not ready to let go of the rigorous control yet, and Faith wondered what was coming. What could possibly be worse?
Finally Buffy turned to her, eyes haunted.
"They're not sorry. 'No regrets', that's how they put it. Apparently-" she faltered briefly, then continued, voice only trembling for a moment, "-apparently the sex was too good."
Faith inhaled sharply, as Buffy buried her head in her hands. There seemed nothing to say, so Faith just kept her hand on Buffy's back, the disappointment turning to shock and disgust. She was the first to acknowledge that fighting made you horny, but this...
For the longest moment Buffy didn't move, but then she slowly lowered her hands, looking at Faith with haunted eyes.
"I don't know anymore, Faith. I thought I knew them, I thought- God, they've shared my bed for half a year..."
She tried to suppress a shudder, but didn't succeed very well. "They told me, of course - told me that I couldn't trust them, but I wouldn't believe it. Never thought that-"
Finally she broke down and Faith could only hold her silently, eyes of their own accord finding their way back to the inauspicious folder, and she wondered what Buffy had said to them. Had she screamed at them, the way Faith wanted to now? Or had she been too hurt?
"What are you going to do? Is it like over over?" she finally asked, once Buffy had calmed down, and Buffy shook her head, lost.
"I don't know... I already miss them, how ridiculous is that? Can I... Can I stay here while I work things out?"
"Sure," Faith replied. "Make yourself at home, girlfriend. But what do I tell... y'know, people?"
"Girlfriend bonding time?" Buffy offered with a weak smile, and Faith nodded.
"Cool. Don't worry about things, I'll make sure you get some peace."
"Thank you," Buffy replied, "Thank you for... just being here. The others wouldn't understand..."
(Thank God we're hot chicks with super powers...)
Faith nodded again. Sometimes they needed that lifeline - someone so much like themselves that they didn't need to explain. Someone whose face they'd worn. Literally.
(What if she doesn't come back?)
(You and me and the dark; blood calling to blood. That's how the story (always) ends, Lover.)
(You and me and the dark; blood calling to blood. That's how the story (always) ends, Lover.)
Buffy didn't talk much the next few days. Faith took over her training schedule and other duties at the Council, casually telling Giles that Buffy had decided on a brief holiday. Giles, although looking a bit surprised, had not said much. There'd been a minor crisis in China somewhere, and he was run off his feet. As long as the work got done, he wasn't going to kick up a fuss.
After four days of more or less silent contemplation (and one night of dangerous slaying - Faith could tell the cuts were deep, even if Buffy had not done anything except slap some bandaids on them after a shower), Buffy finally seemed to have made a decision. When Faith came home she was standing by the window, looking out, her holdall once more packed and by the door, and the Scythe held in her hand.
She turned as Faith entered, and they watched each other in silence for a moment, then Buffy took a deep breath.
"I'm going back to them."
Faith nodded, wondering what this decision would cost her friend.
"Spike told me once that no matter how much I love them, they'll always be monsters. I didn't understand then. Or maybe I didn't want to face the consequences. I wanted it all - their world and mine. But I can't have that, and I'm choosing them."
For a moment she was silent, and Faith didn't know what to say.
(Are you the Bad Slayer now? Am I the Good Slayer now?)
Her questions must have shown on her face, because Buffy lowered her eyes.
"I know what you're thinking. And I'm not OK with what they did. But I've been thinking, and I worked something out: They're not my responsibility. And they're not human, and never will be, but I... want them. Despite... because of what they are. And I know it's screwed up, but I lost them once, and I... I can't throw away what we have."
Faith held up her hands. "Hey chill - no need to justify yourself to me."
"I think I'm probably trying to justify myself to myself," Buffy replied wryly, before continuing, sombre once more.
"Anyway, I'm going to go see Giles now, hand in my resignation. Figure I can work with Spike and Angel to take down W&H, I know they could do with the help. And I dunno - maybe I could write a book some day. The Insider's Guide to Vampires or something. Something to help the other girls understand what we fight; how... deep it runs."
Her knuckles clutching the Scythe were white, but then she hefted it and walked over to Faith, holding it out.
"Lead them well."
For a moment Faith was completely speechless, frozen in place, and Buffy's hand wavered for just a moment.
"Please Faith..."
"Course, B," she finally said, grasping the Scythe firmly, "but are you sure?"
Buffy nodded. "It's the only way it can work."
Their eyes met, silent understanding between them.
"Be happy," Faith said softly, and a small smile touched Buffy's mouth.
"That's the idea..."
After she'd left, Faith didn't move for a long time.
(It's old. It's strong, and it feels like... like it's mine.)
A whole new life, in the blink of an eye. She held the Scythe tightly, and slowly smiled.
No dinner smell this time. No smell at all. But when she reached her door Buffy stopped, leaning into it. She had been worried that - despite her instructions - they would have left, but she could feel them. Closing her eyes she let herself remember Spike's crypt, remembered sensing him everywhere she was. So lost, and yet fighting against the only one who'd found her.
(He's everything I hate. He's everything that... I'm supposed to be against. But the only time I ever feel anything is when...)
Playing with fire, that's what he'd said. Like cavemen. Like she'd sung once. But how could she live without? She should have known, back when Angel had given her a cross (Don't trust me)... Known that this contradiction was what would always draw her in.
So now there would be no more lies, no more hiding. Just the three of them, and the fire...
'I'm not your Saviour,' she thought. 'Your sins are your own to carry. If we kill each other, then so be it. This is my choice.'
She took a deep breath and opened the door. Two demons with human faces; beloved, beautiful, dangerous, deadly. Hers.
She was the girl who loved monsters, but her life wasn't a fairy tale. She kissed them, but the monsters never left, and she'd never have her happily ever after. But she had this.
"I'm back," she said. "And here's how it's going to be."
They were always there. She could feel them, sense them, one on each side - like body guards, or loyal servants from times past. Her black shadows. She knew what people said about her, the way the other slayers talked. How her life was a dance with the bizarre and how she was more like a demon than a slayer. How the night was a part of her, how the hunt and the kill and the blood ran deeper in her than the others. And how she shared her life and her bed with two vampires...
But they didn’t understand. And she didn’t care. She’d lived and died and saved the world enough times to do whatever the hell she wanted.
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Part of me rejoices that Buffy stays with Spike and Angel. Part of me mourns that this is the end. Part of me hopes that you'll write more Cavemen-verse stories.
Phoenix Massacre
I love the irony of the name - Phoenix, the symbol of rebirth through burning.
Actually, I think that the ending opens the door to the next story, where Buffy's loyalty to her vampires and The Council is tested as she works as an independent vampire hunter.
I love the small inserts from the show the dialogs that echo within the story context.
(Are you the Bad Slayer now? Am I the Good Slayer now?)
Awww... Bittersweet. Buffy and Faith have such a complex baggage. I kinda ship them lately, so the scene between them is very dear to me.
Two demons with human faces; beloved, beautiful, dangerous, deadly. Hers.
I love that you don't make their relationship fluffy (although I adore fluff, believe me). But you made achingly clear that the stakes are high and it's not roses and puppies in Buffy's future.
She’d lived and died and saved the world enough times to do whatever the hell she wanted.
Perfect ending. I think that you summed up the best attitude Buffy could ever accept.
Thank you for the wonderful ride!
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Thank you! :)
Part of me rejoices that Buffy stays with Spike and Angel. Part of me mourns that this is the end. Part of me hopes that you'll write more Cavemen-verse stories.
Aw. I sorta feel the same way. (Except for the last bit! *g*)
I love the irony of the name - Phoenix, the symbol of rebirth through burning.
I don't think the name was deliberate initially, but I'm very pleased with how it works symbolically!
Actually, I think that the ending opens the door to the next story, where Buffy's loyalty to her vampires and The Council is tested as she works as an independent vampire hunter.
I see what you're trying to do, and it's not working!
I love the small inserts from the show the dialogs that echo within the story context.
I can't help myself. It's a very handy shorthand...
Awww... Bittersweet. Buffy and Faith have such a complex baggage. I kinda ship them lately, so the scene between them is very dear to me.
I left their connection very vague on purpose, so you can read as much or as little into it as you like. But I love their friendship!
I love that you don't make their relationship fluffy (although I adore fluff, believe me). But you made achingly clear that the stakes are high and it's not roses and puppies in Buffy's future.
That's it - I wanted it to be... quite dark and bittersweet. (Hence the not wanting to write it.)
Perfect ending. I think that you summed up the best attitude Buffy could ever accept.
The end is actually the beginning - go back to chapter 1 of the original fic... :)
Thank you for the wonderful ride!
Thank *you* for your feedback and everything!
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Aw, thank you. I must confess to feeling a bit like Giles (Buffy, I want more for you), but at the same time this is what she wants, so...
I *love* (love) this chapter and ending!! So emotionally powerful.
The last few chapters before this were all fluffy, and I knew this one would be... harder. I'm so glad it worked!
You made me completely understand Buffy's choice.
Oh good. The whole thing kinda revolved around that, and most of the time we weren't even in her POV, so I did worry.
Wonderful use of quotes from the past to emphasis the emotions and choices made - by everyone.
I love quotes... it's a very straightforward way of getting inside people's heads. :)
A great ending, yet I love the potential for more. Maybe one day, right? :)
Well if a bunny ever comes knocking on my door, we'll see, promise. And thank you again!
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Thank you! :)
The idea that Spike and Angel would merrily fit in with all the do gooders, while pleasant in the short run, is very unlikely with their history.
*nods* Especially given the very specific history I'd created. They do keep themselves to themselves a lot, and they're quite hostile a lot of the time...
And, frankly, it's hard for buffy to be all black and white anymore. She's all sorts of grey. So it works out quite nicely.
I does rather, even though I wish I could give Buffy... more. I don't want her to have to accept so much darkness, but that's where the story went (that where it was always going), so...
I, too, hope for sequels.
Like I've said elsewhere, never say never. But right now I am wonderfully free of bunnies!
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What a great conclusion! I admit, I was surprised by the fall-out from the Phoenix thing, but I really like the complexity and believability of this three-way relationship, not to mention the many facets of Buffy's relationship with Faith.
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Thank you!!
I admit, I was surprised by the fall-out from the Phoenix thing
Really? It was one of those things, where the more I looked at it, the more inevitable this ending became...
but I really like the complexity and believability of this three-way relationship
I so very much want them all to be just happy, but it's not that easy.
not to mention the many facets of Buffy's relationship with Faith.
Oh I *loved* writing the Buffy/Faith parts. I think they had they potential for a fascinating friendship, and exploring that was a treat!
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Thank you so much for writing, and for sharing your work.
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Really? Oh that makes me very happy indeed!
It does feel as though you captured a real possibility in this story. It's hard to imagine a traditional happy ending, but those are for fairy tales anyway. This is far more grown up and satisfying.
Thank you - it was the happiest ending I could get out of it, so I'm very glad that it seems to work for people! Not that I'm not fond of fairytales, but when you're dealing with vampires it becomes a little tricky...
Thank you so much for writing, and for sharing your work.
Thank *you* for reading!
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YAY, it's done! I've had Ch1 bookmarked, but wanted to wait to read it until it was completed. Now treats to read!
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I know what you mean - I've been writing this since... 2006? Oh and thank you for the love! :)
I hope you reconsider and write more from this verse someday :)
Well at the moment I have zero ideas, which is lovely. (I have far too many plotbunnies...) But never say never...
I have this, the original, and the phoenix prequel in my memories to revisit often!
Aw. They're fairly long, really, so I hope they'll be enough. Thank you again!
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Oh, thank you, I really couldn't ask for a better compliment!
I owe you a better comment but am currently flummoxed by the awesomeness of taking this story all in one shot and therefore beg your forgiveness for this placeholder comment in all its run-on-sentence glory. :)
Run-on-sentences are fabulous, and I'm rather thrilled by having reduced you to flummoxedness. *is happy* Also thank you for reading, I know how busy your life is!
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OH HELLS YES.
This was a darker ending than I anticipated, but I loved it--especially Faith getting to be the leader now. Well done!
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*grins* (The ending is actually the beginning - it was the very first thing I wrote when I wrote chapter 1 back in 2006... I was very pleased to be able to come full circle.)
This was a darker ending than I anticipated, but I loved it
Oh I'm so glad you liked it - it was a darker ending than I wanted (hence me dragging my feet), but it was the only way the story could go.
especially Faith getting to be the leader now. Well done!
Thank you! And I loved letting Faith lead - I think she'd be brilliant. :)
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*beams*
I like that it's kind of scary. None of them will be safe, and it's impossible to predict where this will go.
It was the only ending that I could see, given the circumstances. I'm very glad people like it!
It leaves me with a bit of a chill, but it's the only kind of relationship for Buffy.
I'm not sure it's the *only* one, but it's certainly true that she needs that danger. Thank you lots for reading! :)
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Vampires can never be fluffy bunnies however soulful they claim to be. Blood will always out, usually from somebody's neck. Buffy's acceptance of that and her own nature as a slayer is a sign of her growth.
So is Buffy now a rogue demon hunter?
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Thank you! :)
This feels so much more true to the characters than the comic!verse
Well I should jolly well hope that'd be the case!I'm very glad you think so.and I particularly like how Faith finally came into her calling.
I loved writing the Faith parts, because I think she's certainly deserved it!
Vampires can never be fluffy bunnies however soulful they claim to be. Blood will always out, usually from somebody's neck.
*nods* Of course with a soul they understand why it's wrong, but there's still a huge conflict between what they are and what they try to be. (As Angel says way back in S1: "I wanted to kill you tonight...")
Buffy's acceptance of that and her own nature as a slayer is a sign of her growth.
Since you mentioned the comics, then I was very happy with tackling a somewhat similar situation (the man [men] she loves has committed an atrocious act, and she has to come to terms with that), but managing to show how she makes the choice she makes, and the consequences that come from that.
So is Buffy now a rogue demon hunter?
Heeeeeee! Yes! Yes she is!
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However it was well worth the wait. I read the first section and I knew what was coming but it was like the train wreck cliche, I couldn't look away. Poor Buffy, she always gets stuck with the sucktastically difficult choices.
I loved the bits of framing you used in this chapter. The use of Faith as a confidant to mirror the beginning of this story, and the repeat of the first part of the original story.
I liked this a lot and it was well worth the wait. Thanks for sharing this.
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Well it took me FOREVER to write it...
However it was well worth the wait.
Aw, thank you!
I read the first section and I knew what was coming but it was like the train wreck cliche, I couldn't look away.
That's what it was like to write... (And you even knew the ending! *g*)
Poor Buffy, she always gets stuck with the sucktastically difficult choices.
I KNOW! And I didn't want to give her another one, but there was no way around it...
I loved the bits of framing you used in this chapter. The use of Faith as a confidant to mirror the beginning of this story, and the repeat of the first part of the original story.
Yay, someone noticed! And the Faith part is all thanks to you - so thank you! I loved how her story developed. Also having the beginning be the end be the beginning was extremely pleasing. (Even though I never wanted it to go this dark. But. At least the potential was always there.)
I liked this a lot and it was well worth the wait. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank *you* for the feedback and the suggestions. I probably would never have gotten round to actually finishing it if it wasn't for you. ♥
Because Cavemen Have Fire, the Sequel. Chapter 7
Huh? Angel said it would be over if they told Buffy and it seems he was right about that.
Mmmh I see. It took Buffy a while to come to terms that they are still demons, not tamed. Maybe with her at their side she can take care that she'll balance them.
Not an easy end but Buffy had to make a decision in this case. And I think for her it was the best one. It's time for her to have a life she wants.
Re: Because Cavemen Have Fire, the Sequel. Chapter 7
He's smart sometimes... (Although I am happy that he's just about learned to let Buffy make her own choices.)
Mmmh I see. It took Buffy a while to come to terms that they are still demons, not tamed. Maybe with her at their side she can take care that she'll balance them.
Maybe, maybe not. Which is why I had her realise that they're not her responsibility - hopefully she'll help them, but if they fall again she won't blame herself.
Not an easy end but Buffy had to make a decision in this case. And I think for her it was the best one. It's time for her to have a life she wants.
I'm so glad that people agree with her - I didn't want to push her into having to make that choice, but that's where the story had to go...
Thank you lots for reading and your feedback! *smooches*
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Not that they would. Which is kind of why I don't ship the three of them in the long term.
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Which is one reason it took me so long to actually write this, and why I really didn't want to. But I'd written my way into a corner - the massacre happened, and not letting her find out would not be acceptable. Actually I found it interesting that it in many ways reflects on the big issue of s8 - do you sleep with the killer(s)? Well they're not *just* killers of course, but in this 'verse the line is very, very blurred, and she has to either accept what they did, or leave them. But unlike s8 Buffy she sees very clearly how this would put her at odds with the Council, and so decides to fight the good fight on a different front. Yes it is in many ways selfish, and she is hugely compromised, morally, and it is so, so not the ending I wanted, but it's the only ending that I could make work, without breaking the pretty completely.
Anyway, thank you for your comment!
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Fab story.
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Thank you. And it's funny how much I enjoy Buffy/Angel when Spike's in the mix. He makes it work and be interesting. :) Anyway, thank you lots for reading!
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Now, I want write a more complex comment. I don't write very well in english and I hope you forgive my errors!
Three years ago I've started a spuffel fic, in many ways similar to yours; then I've drop it and blah, blah, blah ... the point is that I think we share the same opinions about Buffy, Angel, Spike and their relantionship together.
In fact, I also think that this threesome works mostly because of Spike: he's the one who share feelings and memories with both Angel and Buffy (Who absolutely needs to know, dammit!)
He's the *heart* of this threesome.
I don't see a profound connection between Angel and Buffy: they love each other, of course, but in a superficial way, I'd like to say.
They fantasize a lot about the other, but don't really communicate.
Angel is still a mistery to her and Buffy's still a angelic woman, in Angel's fantasy.
Really, I think that she's kinda angelic.
Not because she don't have or enjoy or whatever darkness: she's a slayer, and a slayer is basically a dark force. But she's had a strong moral, a generous heart and a bright soul.
I'm glad you point it out: she still thinks the slaughter is wrong, she don't justify her vampires' actions, but she also sees the good in them.
Mature!Buffy (Oh, I'm in love with this woman!) fights not only for her happiness, but also for Angel's and Spike's happiness.
They need her, they need a moral balance for their darkness and she's the one.
Plus, I think Buffy deserves to be loved by them.
And, okay, Angel and Spike are still vampires and still in love with pain and destruction, but they also prove, in many seasons of ATS and BTVS, the heroic nature of their souls.
They really can be "better men", they already are. (quoting Buffy)
So, loved your fic. Hope you write a sequel!
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ETA: Back again! And I just wanted to say thank you for your wonderfully detailed comment, it really means a lot. Esp since English isn't your first language.
You know, this spuffel stuff is like a drug! XD
I know right? I just couldn't stop...
Three years ago I've started a spuffel fic, in many ways similar to yours; then I've drop it and blah, blah, blah ... the point is that I think we share the same opinions about Buffy, Angel, Spike and their relantionship together.
Clearly you are a person of great taste!
In fact, I also think that this threesome works mostly because of Spike: he's the one who share feelings and memories with both Angel and Buffy (Who absolutely needs to know, dammit!)
He's the *heart* of this threesome.
Oh absolutely. The heart, the bridge, the glue... whatever you want to call him, then he is *good* at loving, at opening himself emotionally, something both Buffy and Angel struggle with immensely.
I don't see a profound connection between Angel and Buffy: they love each other, of course, but in a superficial way, I'd like to say.
They fantasize a lot about the other, but don't really communicate.
Angel is still a mistery to her and Buffy's still a angelic woman, in Angel's fantasy.
Really, I think that she's kinda angelic.
*nods* I think they absolutely loved each other - that first time of being in love when everything seems magical. But rather than just slowly grow out of it, it was snatched away at the height of their emotions, and so they kinda... got left there, without a way of moving on. Which is very damaging. One thing I found fascinating was to explore how they'd deal with an actual relationship, and really... they wouldn't last without Spike! :)
Not because she don't have or enjoy or whatever darkness: she's a slayer, and a slayer is basically a dark force. But she's had a strong moral, a generous heart and a bright soul.
This. Buffy has a lot of darkness, but she also has a very solid moral foundation, and comes through the darkness and overcomes it. And that's why she's my hero.
I'm glad you point it out: she still thinks the slaughter is wrong, she don't justify her vampires' actions, but she also sees the good in them.
Mature!Buffy (Oh, I'm in love with this woman!) fights not only for her happiness, but also for Angel's and Spike's happiness.
They need her, they need a moral balance for their darkness and she's the one.
This whole part just makes me happy! You've put it all beautifully and I don't have anything to add. :)
Plus, I think Buffy deserves to be loved by them.
And, okay, Angel and Spike are still vampires and still in love with pain and destruction, but they also prove, in many seasons of ATS and BTVS, the heroic nature of their souls.
They really can be "better men", they already are. (quoting Buffy)
♥ ♥ ♥ There's a lot about acceptance in this story. About letting go of unreal ideas and appreciating what's there - because what they have is quite extraordinary.
So, loved your fic. Hope you write a sequel!
Thank you again for your comment. I'm unlikely to ever write more in this 'verse, but I am SO happy that you enjoyed it. <3 If you want to read more, can I recommend
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Can I ask you something? There's a fic, "As you were plus one", but I can't read it in your lj, what I have to do?
It's like fresh air "meeting" other fans of the trio. I wanna write so much about them!
Again, thank you! :D
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Just go here. I've friended you on my fic journal, you should be able to see it now. :)
It's like fresh air "meeting" other fans of the trio. I wanna write so much about them!
Oh I *know*! There's nothing like meeting others who appreciate the same things as you! Thank goodness for fandom! <3
And thank *you*. I hope you like the last story. It's... quite different. (You are of age, right?)
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*HUGS* Yay!!
I'm an adult, totally! XD
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