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DW fic: What are you? What will you be? (1/2)
Soooo... I wrote fic. Ten/Rose fic. Which is fairly incredible, since I never shipped them as such. OK, this is more a character study of the new half-human Doctor, and so full of meta I think it might sink - but still. A bunny just ate my head, so I wrote this down in odd moments yesterday and polished it off this morning. All mistakes mine.
Hope anyone reads this at all, and if you do PLEASE leave some feedback?
Title: What are you? What will you be?
Characters/Pairing: TenToo/Rose, Jackie.
Rating: PG-13.
Spoilers: EVERYTHING! (4.13)
Genre: Character study.
Word count: 1300 words.
A/N: Changed the title from 'The Hardest Thing', because someone else was posting a post-JE Rose/Ten fic with the same name.
What are you? What will you be?
Part 1
He watched it fade away - his TARDIS; gone forever.
Well, not his TARDIS... their TARDIS. Still, he couldn’t quite comprehend the scale of the loss. The one constant in his (their) century-long life - vanished. His eyes drifted from the empty space to the girl watching it - their Rose. His Rose?
With a stab of dark humour he thought that they - he and his other self - were like a divorcing couple, dividing up the cd collection... except that wasn’t right. It was more like dividing up the children.
Why did it have to hurt so much?
Slowly he walked up to her, taking her hand; but as her eyes caught his, a sinking feeling of déja vu washed over him - River Song’s words echoing in his head:
“You know... it's funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here... Yes, the Doctor is here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor.”
Could he be what she needed? He wasn’t exactly brilliant when it came to relationships, he knew that, and humans weren’t very easy to read, especially since they said so many things that meant something else...
With a new pang of loss he realised that he’d never actually meet River again. Or any of his companions. So many possibilities, so much life just gone...
His focus came back to Rose as she swallowed and softly asked: “What now?”
Staring silently for a moment, he ended up shaking his head.
“I don’t know.”
New world, new life, and he didn’t have a clue how to proceed. For once he had no answers...
Then abruptly his mind was pierced by a searing scream; his legs gave way under him as he collapsed down onto the sand, head in his hands - Donna’s voice blanking out the world.
“No. No, please! Pleas-”
And then it was gone, cut off mid-word. Not just Donna, but the other him, the TARDIS... he hadn’t even been aware of somehow keeping up the faintest of mental links, but suddenly there was just... nothing. The walls between the dimensions obviously sealed. He knew he ought to be grateful that he had been spared the remainder of Donna’s pain, but the sudden and complete loneliness threatened to break something within him. He should have known that this was the price he always paid for waging war - and yet it was a shock, because since the moment he’d woken up on the TARDIS floor he’d been in contact with Donna and his other self; the bond so deep, so instinctive, that he’d not even noticed it.
And now Donna was gone - gone gone, he knew fullwell what had needed doing - and his other self was as lonely as him... He could remember clutching the Master’s body, screaming in frustration, and loss, and certain, utter lonesomeness, and he didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to run, the way he always did, but realised with a horrified, sickening feeling that there was nowhere to run to. The TARDIS was gone, and even though he could probably make a spacecraft of some kind, he couldn’t run from himself and his mortal body. He could feel time slipping through his fingers - one frail body, one life, one world... it was too small, too narrow, he didn’t fit - nothing fit - and there was nowhere to run... nowhere at all... For one fervent moment he wished he could go back and kill the Daleks all over again, but slowly and painfully - make them pay forever like the Family of Blood - because it was their fault that he existed at all, that he was doomed to this isolation. Why hadn’t he killed Dalek Caan back in Manhatten when he’d had the chance...
Slowly he became aware of someone shaking him, and he looked up to see an alarmed Rose kneeling in front of him, calling his name.
“Doctor! Are you OK? Doctor?”
He blinked and stared at her. This was bad - he didn’t want to worry her. He never wanted to upset Rose in any way. She had kissed him - really, truly kissed him - and now he was upsetting her. What was wrong with him?
“I think I’m having a panic-attack,” he observed, frowning as he examined his odd phenomenon. “Isn’t that weird? I’ve never had a one of those before. Well not like this anyway. Is this normal for humans? Or is just me? I’m sorry, I’ve absolutely no idea yet, I think it’ll take me a while to work out what I am. Although apparently I’m prone to panick-attacks when under stress.”
This didn’t seem to reassure her at all, but then her mother cut in, even as she was busy pressing numbers into a phone.
“Oh great, now he can’t cope with stress? Well ain’t that charmin’? Don’t get me wrong Rose, I think the Doctor’s wonderful, but what use is he, if he’s a basket case?”
The Doctor felt his head snap up, sudden fiery sparks bursting inside, and then he leapt to his feet, staring down the woman across from him.
“Oi! You watch it Jackie Tyler! I happen to be the result of the first ever human-Timelord biological meta crisis, which quite frankly is something utterly unknown and more traumatic than you could possibly conceive. If you want to know how I feel, imagine that half of you was turned into a frog and suddenly you're eyeing up the flies in a completely different way - so puh-lease excuse me for freaking out for a moment.”
Seeing the stunned look on Jackie’s face he suddenly grinned. “And you might want to make a note of the fact that I’m not just half-human - I’m half Donna Noble!” He stopped, eyes narrowing as he tilted his head. “Weeeeell, not literally half her, since I’m all me of course; but I have Donna-ness in me, oh yes! Amongst other things her voice, if I so choose - and trust me, Mrs Tyler, no power in the universe can stop that voice talking!”
He laughed, watching Rose as she slowly got to her feet, obviously as thrown as her mother.
“See I’m the DoctorDonna, and I’m brilliant! Unique! No one like me, anywhere.” He stopped, seeing the uncertainty on Rose’s face, and suddenly looked down, trying to get to grips with the rollercoaster ride his emotions were on. It was like navigating quicksand.
But he clung onto one thing: Donna wasn’t lost to him. She lived on inside - quite literally a part of him - and somehow that was immensely comforting. This strange, new body that felt so alien and different, had come from her. And he liked her - her earthboundness, her no-nonsense attitude, her humanity. He still had it, locked away in every cell. He had a feeling he’d need it, that it was currently her strength and resilience that were carrying him forward.
Taking a slow breath the Doctor looked at Rose again. “I don’t know what it means. I’m not... entirely sure what I am. Maybe - maybe we can find out together?”
Jackie was now busily talking into her mobile, but turned and called over her shoulder: “Well I’m getting home. If you two want to come, you better get moving!”
He held out his hand towards Rose, and he knew that this could be a new beginning. A new life - a truly different life. No more running.
“Walk with me?”
There was a moment’s hesitation, then she took his hand - the action so familiar that it almost felt like a dream. She nodded, a tiny smile in the corner of her mouth as she replied.
“Walking sounds good.”
part 2
Hope anyone reads this at all, and if you do PLEASE leave some feedback?
Title: What are you? What will you be?
Characters/Pairing: TenToo/Rose, Jackie.
Rating: PG-13.
Spoilers: EVERYTHING! (4.13)
Genre: Character study.
Word count: 1300 words.
A/N: Changed the title from 'The Hardest Thing', because someone else was posting a post-JE Rose/Ten fic with the same name.
Part 1
He watched it fade away - his TARDIS; gone forever.
Well, not his TARDIS... their TARDIS. Still, he couldn’t quite comprehend the scale of the loss. The one constant in his (their) century-long life - vanished. His eyes drifted from the empty space to the girl watching it - their Rose. His Rose?
With a stab of dark humour he thought that they - he and his other self - were like a divorcing couple, dividing up the cd collection... except that wasn’t right. It was more like dividing up the children.
Why did it have to hurt so much?
Slowly he walked up to her, taking her hand; but as her eyes caught his, a sinking feeling of déja vu washed over him - River Song’s words echoing in his head:
“You know... it's funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here... Yes, the Doctor is here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor.”
Could he be what she needed? He wasn’t exactly brilliant when it came to relationships, he knew that, and humans weren’t very easy to read, especially since they said so many things that meant something else...
With a new pang of loss he realised that he’d never actually meet River again. Or any of his companions. So many possibilities, so much life just gone...
His focus came back to Rose as she swallowed and softly asked: “What now?”
Staring silently for a moment, he ended up shaking his head.
“I don’t know.”
New world, new life, and he didn’t have a clue how to proceed. For once he had no answers...
Then abruptly his mind was pierced by a searing scream; his legs gave way under him as he collapsed down onto the sand, head in his hands - Donna’s voice blanking out the world.
“No. No, please! Pleas-”
And then it was gone, cut off mid-word. Not just Donna, but the other him, the TARDIS... he hadn’t even been aware of somehow keeping up the faintest of mental links, but suddenly there was just... nothing. The walls between the dimensions obviously sealed. He knew he ought to be grateful that he had been spared the remainder of Donna’s pain, but the sudden and complete loneliness threatened to break something within him. He should have known that this was the price he always paid for waging war - and yet it was a shock, because since the moment he’d woken up on the TARDIS floor he’d been in contact with Donna and his other self; the bond so deep, so instinctive, that he’d not even noticed it.
And now Donna was gone - gone gone, he knew fullwell what had needed doing - and his other self was as lonely as him... He could remember clutching the Master’s body, screaming in frustration, and loss, and certain, utter lonesomeness, and he didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to run, the way he always did, but realised with a horrified, sickening feeling that there was nowhere to run to. The TARDIS was gone, and even though he could probably make a spacecraft of some kind, he couldn’t run from himself and his mortal body. He could feel time slipping through his fingers - one frail body, one life, one world... it was too small, too narrow, he didn’t fit - nothing fit - and there was nowhere to run... nowhere at all... For one fervent moment he wished he could go back and kill the Daleks all over again, but slowly and painfully - make them pay forever like the Family of Blood - because it was their fault that he existed at all, that he was doomed to this isolation. Why hadn’t he killed Dalek Caan back in Manhatten when he’d had the chance...
Slowly he became aware of someone shaking him, and he looked up to see an alarmed Rose kneeling in front of him, calling his name.
“Doctor! Are you OK? Doctor?”
He blinked and stared at her. This was bad - he didn’t want to worry her. He never wanted to upset Rose in any way. She had kissed him - really, truly kissed him - and now he was upsetting her. What was wrong with him?
“I think I’m having a panic-attack,” he observed, frowning as he examined his odd phenomenon. “Isn’t that weird? I’ve never had a one of those before. Well not like this anyway. Is this normal for humans? Or is just me? I’m sorry, I’ve absolutely no idea yet, I think it’ll take me a while to work out what I am. Although apparently I’m prone to panick-attacks when under stress.”
This didn’t seem to reassure her at all, but then her mother cut in, even as she was busy pressing numbers into a phone.
“Oh great, now he can’t cope with stress? Well ain’t that charmin’? Don’t get me wrong Rose, I think the Doctor’s wonderful, but what use is he, if he’s a basket case?”
The Doctor felt his head snap up, sudden fiery sparks bursting inside, and then he leapt to his feet, staring down the woman across from him.
“Oi! You watch it Jackie Tyler! I happen to be the result of the first ever human-Timelord biological meta crisis, which quite frankly is something utterly unknown and more traumatic than you could possibly conceive. If you want to know how I feel, imagine that half of you was turned into a frog and suddenly you're eyeing up the flies in a completely different way - so puh-lease excuse me for freaking out for a moment.”
Seeing the stunned look on Jackie’s face he suddenly grinned. “And you might want to make a note of the fact that I’m not just half-human - I’m half Donna Noble!” He stopped, eyes narrowing as he tilted his head. “Weeeeell, not literally half her, since I’m all me of course; but I have Donna-ness in me, oh yes! Amongst other things her voice, if I so choose - and trust me, Mrs Tyler, no power in the universe can stop that voice talking!”
He laughed, watching Rose as she slowly got to her feet, obviously as thrown as her mother.
“See I’m the DoctorDonna, and I’m brilliant! Unique! No one like me, anywhere.” He stopped, seeing the uncertainty on Rose’s face, and suddenly looked down, trying to get to grips with the rollercoaster ride his emotions were on. It was like navigating quicksand.
But he clung onto one thing: Donna wasn’t lost to him. She lived on inside - quite literally a part of him - and somehow that was immensely comforting. This strange, new body that felt so alien and different, had come from her. And he liked her - her earthboundness, her no-nonsense attitude, her humanity. He still had it, locked away in every cell. He had a feeling he’d need it, that it was currently her strength and resilience that were carrying him forward.
Taking a slow breath the Doctor looked at Rose again. “I don’t know what it means. I’m not... entirely sure what I am. Maybe - maybe we can find out together?”
Jackie was now busily talking into her mobile, but turned and called over her shoulder: “Well I’m getting home. If you two want to come, you better get moving!”
He held out his hand towards Rose, and he knew that this could be a new beginning. A new life - a truly different life. No more running.
“Walk with me?”
There was a moment’s hesitation, then she took his hand - the action so familiar that it almost felt like a dream. She nodded, a tiny smile in the corner of her mouth as she replied.
“Walking sounds good.”
part 2
no subject
Will check it out, promise. (Although it'll have to be later on - *really* shouldn't be here...) And re. reviews, then I barely get a handful for my Who fic. (Most people on my flist are Buffy fans...)
I actually saw the alt!Doctor and Donna as the DoctorDonna, and the original!Doctor feeling left out, and that's why he dumped his other self on the parallel world, and buried Donna's memories of him. Poor baby was all jealous of what those two had. Because Alt!Doc and Donna were practically the same person in two bodies, and the Original!Doc wasn't part of that, he was just what it was created from.
Oh I don't see it like that AT ALL! Yes, new!Doctor & Donna might have had a deeper bond, but it'd still make the original Doctor their parent or something. He *had* to wipe Donna's mind, or she'd burn (nice continuity from Rose & 'Parting of the Ways' btw) and as for why he left Rose and new!Doctor, then this vid has the best answer I've come across. *hugs the Doctor sooooo tight*
I have this most annoying plot bunny latching onto me demanding to be written about Alt!Doc and Rose not getting together and then them two finding out something life alteringly big. Angsty as all heck it'd be.
My pet-theory, in the event of it not working out between Rose & the Doctor, is that he'd go back to 1913 and marry alt!nurse Redfern. :) But angst can be good too. Oh and I once had this tiny bunny about Rose in the AU (before she got her own Doctor), how one day she'd meet a perfectly ordinary guy, and when he took her hand the world stopped spinning. And they'd get married and have lots of kids and an old polica box in the garden for them to play in. Oh - and I started a Rose/Xander fic once! (If you're familiar with BtVS?)
And the whole asexual Doctor thingy is the reason I posted Lesson Learnt yesterday. Because someone had to poke fun at it :P
Oooh, must check that out too! (My favourite so far is this one. Crack!fic goooooood!)
no subject
Yep, I know he had to do it. I didn't want Donna's head to go kablooey. But he's clever as he has stated many a time beforehand, and I'm sure if he had given himself the time he could have thought of another way.
Even if the memory wipe is only temporary until he had found another way then gone back to fix it properly.
My love of Donna is shining through here. She was my favourite character, and then there's alt!ten, who I think I like beter than original!ten right now. Odd.
no subject
Someone mentioned the Chameleon Arc - maybe one day he'll turn her into an actual Timelady?
My love of Donna is shining through here. She was my favourite character
I can't imagine not loving Donna! *clings* ETA: I wrote meta in case you want to know my thoughts. Well, it's more of a review. Anyway, RTD is evil.
and then there's alt!ten, who I think I like beter than original!ten right now. Odd.
I think it's because alt!ten is ours and he can be anything we want him to be. The real Doctor belongs to RTD/Moffat/the BBC, and canon will continue - but alt!ten can do whatever we want him to. :)
no subject
Because somehow I missed it the first go. Yes I am very familiar with the Buffyverse, having almost lived and breathed it for 6 years when it was on television.
no subject
In which case I'm sure you can see the attraction of Rose/Xander. ;)
(My current WIP is another crossover. It's Buffy/Jack, because *obviously* Jack is The Immortal from 'The Girl In Question'. I'm having a LOT of fun! Sadly though it's taking me forever to write because it is long!)
no subject
*squees*
My long WIP at the moment is Help! which gets me to ask the question, am I the only one who has ever done a long, serious fic about getting the Doctor into therapy for his many, many, many issues :P The story just reached 20 000 words,and he still hasn't admitted to himself that, yeah, he might actually need it.
no subject
Hee! It's perfect, isn't it? Jack fits *so* well with the descriptions of The Immortal, and he's exactly what Buffy needs! Fic here, if you ever have the inclination & time to check it out!
am I the only one who has ever done a long, serious fic about getting the Doctor into therapy for his many, many, many issues :P
Now that is a brilliant idea! Will keep it bookmarked in case of surprise reading time. And you reminded me of
no subject
*giggles* Both serious and yet extremely funny all at the same time.
Doesn't excuse what I just wrote in the 5th chapter of Help! Because guh. I was like "What the HELL was that for?!" When muses attack. I didn't plan on writing it, yet there it was in black letters across the screen. And it isn't anything really bad per se, but it does end up with Jack and the Doctor naked and in a bath together :P In a non sex way, which is mind boggling in itself.
no subject
Great, isn't it? I love 'Angel at W&H' fics. :)
it does end up with Jack and the Doctor naked and in a bath together :P In a non sex way, which is mind boggling in itself.
Well you sure are making me curious! Maybe I'll have a look at it when we're away on holiday (there might be rainy days!). And as for wondering at what the muse brings, then you're talking to a woman who rewrote 'As You Were' to include Spike/Buffy/Angel smut. Without turning it into crack!fic. My mind is still boggling at that one...