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DW fic: What are you? What will you be? (1/2)
Soooo... I wrote fic. Ten/Rose fic. Which is fairly incredible, since I never shipped them as such. OK, this is more a character study of the new half-human Doctor, and so full of meta I think it might sink - but still. A bunny just ate my head, so I wrote this down in odd moments yesterday and polished it off this morning. All mistakes mine.
Hope anyone reads this at all, and if you do PLEASE leave some feedback?
Title: What are you? What will you be?
Characters/Pairing: TenToo/Rose, Jackie.
Rating: PG-13.
Spoilers: EVERYTHING! (4.13)
Genre: Character study.
Word count: 1300 words.
A/N: Changed the title from 'The Hardest Thing', because someone else was posting a post-JE Rose/Ten fic with the same name.
What are you? What will you be?
Part 1
He watched it fade away - his TARDIS; gone forever.
Well, not his TARDIS... their TARDIS. Still, he couldn’t quite comprehend the scale of the loss. The one constant in his (their) century-long life - vanished. His eyes drifted from the empty space to the girl watching it - their Rose. His Rose?
With a stab of dark humour he thought that they - he and his other self - were like a divorcing couple, dividing up the cd collection... except that wasn’t right. It was more like dividing up the children.
Why did it have to hurt so much?
Slowly he walked up to her, taking her hand; but as her eyes caught his, a sinking feeling of déja vu washed over him - River Song’s words echoing in his head:
“You know... it's funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here... Yes, the Doctor is here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor.”
Could he be what she needed? He wasn’t exactly brilliant when it came to relationships, he knew that, and humans weren’t very easy to read, especially since they said so many things that meant something else...
With a new pang of loss he realised that he’d never actually meet River again. Or any of his companions. So many possibilities, so much life just gone...
His focus came back to Rose as she swallowed and softly asked: “What now?”
Staring silently for a moment, he ended up shaking his head.
“I don’t know.”
New world, new life, and he didn’t have a clue how to proceed. For once he had no answers...
Then abruptly his mind was pierced by a searing scream; his legs gave way under him as he collapsed down onto the sand, head in his hands - Donna’s voice blanking out the world.
“No. No, please! Pleas-”
And then it was gone, cut off mid-word. Not just Donna, but the other him, the TARDIS... he hadn’t even been aware of somehow keeping up the faintest of mental links, but suddenly there was just... nothing. The walls between the dimensions obviously sealed. He knew he ought to be grateful that he had been spared the remainder of Donna’s pain, but the sudden and complete loneliness threatened to break something within him. He should have known that this was the price he always paid for waging war - and yet it was a shock, because since the moment he’d woken up on the TARDIS floor he’d been in contact with Donna and his other self; the bond so deep, so instinctive, that he’d not even noticed it.
And now Donna was gone - gone gone, he knew fullwell what had needed doing - and his other self was as lonely as him... He could remember clutching the Master’s body, screaming in frustration, and loss, and certain, utter lonesomeness, and he didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to run, the way he always did, but realised with a horrified, sickening feeling that there was nowhere to run to. The TARDIS was gone, and even though he could probably make a spacecraft of some kind, he couldn’t run from himself and his mortal body. He could feel time slipping through his fingers - one frail body, one life, one world... it was too small, too narrow, he didn’t fit - nothing fit - and there was nowhere to run... nowhere at all... For one fervent moment he wished he could go back and kill the Daleks all over again, but slowly and painfully - make them pay forever like the Family of Blood - because it was their fault that he existed at all, that he was doomed to this isolation. Why hadn’t he killed Dalek Caan back in Manhatten when he’d had the chance...
Slowly he became aware of someone shaking him, and he looked up to see an alarmed Rose kneeling in front of him, calling his name.
“Doctor! Are you OK? Doctor?”
He blinked and stared at her. This was bad - he didn’t want to worry her. He never wanted to upset Rose in any way. She had kissed him - really, truly kissed him - and now he was upsetting her. What was wrong with him?
“I think I’m having a panic-attack,” he observed, frowning as he examined his odd phenomenon. “Isn’t that weird? I’ve never had a one of those before. Well not like this anyway. Is this normal for humans? Or is just me? I’m sorry, I’ve absolutely no idea yet, I think it’ll take me a while to work out what I am. Although apparently I’m prone to panick-attacks when under stress.”
This didn’t seem to reassure her at all, but then her mother cut in, even as she was busy pressing numbers into a phone.
“Oh great, now he can’t cope with stress? Well ain’t that charmin’? Don’t get me wrong Rose, I think the Doctor’s wonderful, but what use is he, if he’s a basket case?”
The Doctor felt his head snap up, sudden fiery sparks bursting inside, and then he leapt to his feet, staring down the woman across from him.
“Oi! You watch it Jackie Tyler! I happen to be the result of the first ever human-Timelord biological meta crisis, which quite frankly is something utterly unknown and more traumatic than you could possibly conceive. If you want to know how I feel, imagine that half of you was turned into a frog and suddenly you're eyeing up the flies in a completely different way - so puh-lease excuse me for freaking out for a moment.”
Seeing the stunned look on Jackie’s face he suddenly grinned. “And you might want to make a note of the fact that I’m not just half-human - I’m half Donna Noble!” He stopped, eyes narrowing as he tilted his head. “Weeeeell, not literally half her, since I’m all me of course; but I have Donna-ness in me, oh yes! Amongst other things her voice, if I so choose - and trust me, Mrs Tyler, no power in the universe can stop that voice talking!”
He laughed, watching Rose as she slowly got to her feet, obviously as thrown as her mother.
“See I’m the DoctorDonna, and I’m brilliant! Unique! No one like me, anywhere.” He stopped, seeing the uncertainty on Rose’s face, and suddenly looked down, trying to get to grips with the rollercoaster ride his emotions were on. It was like navigating quicksand.
But he clung onto one thing: Donna wasn’t lost to him. She lived on inside - quite literally a part of him - and somehow that was immensely comforting. This strange, new body that felt so alien and different, had come from her. And he liked her - her earthboundness, her no-nonsense attitude, her humanity. He still had it, locked away in every cell. He had a feeling he’d need it, that it was currently her strength and resilience that were carrying him forward.
Taking a slow breath the Doctor looked at Rose again. “I don’t know what it means. I’m not... entirely sure what I am. Maybe - maybe we can find out together?”
Jackie was now busily talking into her mobile, but turned and called over her shoulder: “Well I’m getting home. If you two want to come, you better get moving!”
He held out his hand towards Rose, and he knew that this could be a new beginning. A new life - a truly different life. No more running.
“Walk with me?”
There was a moment’s hesitation, then she took his hand - the action so familiar that it almost felt like a dream. She nodded, a tiny smile in the corner of her mouth as she replied.
“Walking sounds good.”
part 2
Hope anyone reads this at all, and if you do PLEASE leave some feedback?
Title: What are you? What will you be?
Characters/Pairing: TenToo/Rose, Jackie.
Rating: PG-13.
Spoilers: EVERYTHING! (4.13)
Genre: Character study.
Word count: 1300 words.
A/N: Changed the title from 'The Hardest Thing', because someone else was posting a post-JE Rose/Ten fic with the same name.
Part 1
He watched it fade away - his TARDIS; gone forever.
Well, not his TARDIS... their TARDIS. Still, he couldn’t quite comprehend the scale of the loss. The one constant in his (their) century-long life - vanished. His eyes drifted from the empty space to the girl watching it - their Rose. His Rose?
With a stab of dark humour he thought that they - he and his other self - were like a divorcing couple, dividing up the cd collection... except that wasn’t right. It was more like dividing up the children.
Why did it have to hurt so much?
Slowly he walked up to her, taking her hand; but as her eyes caught his, a sinking feeling of déja vu washed over him - River Song’s words echoing in his head:
“You know... it's funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here... Yes, the Doctor is here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor.”
Could he be what she needed? He wasn’t exactly brilliant when it came to relationships, he knew that, and humans weren’t very easy to read, especially since they said so many things that meant something else...
With a new pang of loss he realised that he’d never actually meet River again. Or any of his companions. So many possibilities, so much life just gone...
His focus came back to Rose as she swallowed and softly asked: “What now?”
Staring silently for a moment, he ended up shaking his head.
“I don’t know.”
New world, new life, and he didn’t have a clue how to proceed. For once he had no answers...
Then abruptly his mind was pierced by a searing scream; his legs gave way under him as he collapsed down onto the sand, head in his hands - Donna’s voice blanking out the world.
“No. No, please! Pleas-”
And then it was gone, cut off mid-word. Not just Donna, but the other him, the TARDIS... he hadn’t even been aware of somehow keeping up the faintest of mental links, but suddenly there was just... nothing. The walls between the dimensions obviously sealed. He knew he ought to be grateful that he had been spared the remainder of Donna’s pain, but the sudden and complete loneliness threatened to break something within him. He should have known that this was the price he always paid for waging war - and yet it was a shock, because since the moment he’d woken up on the TARDIS floor he’d been in contact with Donna and his other self; the bond so deep, so instinctive, that he’d not even noticed it.
And now Donna was gone - gone gone, he knew fullwell what had needed doing - and his other self was as lonely as him... He could remember clutching the Master’s body, screaming in frustration, and loss, and certain, utter lonesomeness, and he didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to run, the way he always did, but realised with a horrified, sickening feeling that there was nowhere to run to. The TARDIS was gone, and even though he could probably make a spacecraft of some kind, he couldn’t run from himself and his mortal body. He could feel time slipping through his fingers - one frail body, one life, one world... it was too small, too narrow, he didn’t fit - nothing fit - and there was nowhere to run... nowhere at all... For one fervent moment he wished he could go back and kill the Daleks all over again, but slowly and painfully - make them pay forever like the Family of Blood - because it was their fault that he existed at all, that he was doomed to this isolation. Why hadn’t he killed Dalek Caan back in Manhatten when he’d had the chance...
Slowly he became aware of someone shaking him, and he looked up to see an alarmed Rose kneeling in front of him, calling his name.
“Doctor! Are you OK? Doctor?”
He blinked and stared at her. This was bad - he didn’t want to worry her. He never wanted to upset Rose in any way. She had kissed him - really, truly kissed him - and now he was upsetting her. What was wrong with him?
“I think I’m having a panic-attack,” he observed, frowning as he examined his odd phenomenon. “Isn’t that weird? I’ve never had a one of those before. Well not like this anyway. Is this normal for humans? Or is just me? I’m sorry, I’ve absolutely no idea yet, I think it’ll take me a while to work out what I am. Although apparently I’m prone to panick-attacks when under stress.”
This didn’t seem to reassure her at all, but then her mother cut in, even as she was busy pressing numbers into a phone.
“Oh great, now he can’t cope with stress? Well ain’t that charmin’? Don’t get me wrong Rose, I think the Doctor’s wonderful, but what use is he, if he’s a basket case?”
The Doctor felt his head snap up, sudden fiery sparks bursting inside, and then he leapt to his feet, staring down the woman across from him.
“Oi! You watch it Jackie Tyler! I happen to be the result of the first ever human-Timelord biological meta crisis, which quite frankly is something utterly unknown and more traumatic than you could possibly conceive. If you want to know how I feel, imagine that half of you was turned into a frog and suddenly you're eyeing up the flies in a completely different way - so puh-lease excuse me for freaking out for a moment.”
Seeing the stunned look on Jackie’s face he suddenly grinned. “And you might want to make a note of the fact that I’m not just half-human - I’m half Donna Noble!” He stopped, eyes narrowing as he tilted his head. “Weeeeell, not literally half her, since I’m all me of course; but I have Donna-ness in me, oh yes! Amongst other things her voice, if I so choose - and trust me, Mrs Tyler, no power in the universe can stop that voice talking!”
He laughed, watching Rose as she slowly got to her feet, obviously as thrown as her mother.
“See I’m the DoctorDonna, and I’m brilliant! Unique! No one like me, anywhere.” He stopped, seeing the uncertainty on Rose’s face, and suddenly looked down, trying to get to grips with the rollercoaster ride his emotions were on. It was like navigating quicksand.
But he clung onto one thing: Donna wasn’t lost to him. She lived on inside - quite literally a part of him - and somehow that was immensely comforting. This strange, new body that felt so alien and different, had come from her. And he liked her - her earthboundness, her no-nonsense attitude, her humanity. He still had it, locked away in every cell. He had a feeling he’d need it, that it was currently her strength and resilience that were carrying him forward.
Taking a slow breath the Doctor looked at Rose again. “I don’t know what it means. I’m not... entirely sure what I am. Maybe - maybe we can find out together?”
Jackie was now busily talking into her mobile, but turned and called over her shoulder: “Well I’m getting home. If you two want to come, you better get moving!”
He held out his hand towards Rose, and he knew that this could be a new beginning. A new life - a truly different life. No more running.
“Walk with me?”
There was a moment’s hesitation, then she took his hand - the action so familiar that it almost felt like a dream. She nodded, a tiny smile in the corner of her mouth as she replied.
“Walking sounds good.”
part 2
no subject
I love that you're remembering that he's *not* human. And the DoctorDonna voice felt right to me (we didn't hear that much of it, but this seems like the right balance). It also makes sense that he'd be a little off center right now - he was just created a few hours ago.
no subject
I *swore* I wouldn't write anything else until I'd finished 'My Immortal', but...
Part 1 means more part to come, yes??
Just one more. (For now anyway. Never say never and all that.)
I love that you're remembering that he's *not* human.
That's what I'm loving about it - he's still the Doctor, but he has to adjust to a human life and it won't be all that easy.
And the DoctorDonna voice felt right to me (we didn't hear that much of it, but this seems like the right balance).
Thank you - he was a bit tricky, but I tried to keep with what we saw.
It also makes sense that he'd be a little off center right now - he was just created a few hours ago.
He's a few hours old, whilst also being 900+ and he's just wiped out an entire species (again) and lost all the people he ever knew. He is FASCINATING! :)
no subject
Just one more.
I'm glad you're not saying never, because this really needs several chapters to do it justice. *whistles innocently*
no subject
Bunnies are evil. But in a good way.
I'm glad you're not saying never, because this really needs several chapters to do it justice. *whistles innocently*
Well the bunny only brought me two parts! And it's Rose/Ten, which I just don't *do*! (I mean I like them, but in TGiF, when all the shippers were all 'Oh noes, he abandoned her for that Frech h0r!', I was squeeing because he got some! *g*)
And that icon is forever cracking me up. (Yes, I do know where it's from!)
no subject
Well I'm not a Rose/Ten shipper either, but I like them and the pairing does get a lot of good Who fanfic, so I read it. And Rose/new!Ten has so many possibilities.
I adore TGiF! The kiss was smoking hot! Guh.
no subject
I have a copy in a folder...
Well I'm not a Rose/Ten shipper either, but I like them and the pairing does get a lot of good Who fanfic, so I read it. And Rose/new!Ten has so many possibilities.
Don't they just? I've been *inhaling* as much fic as I can find time to read... (a lot of it crack!fic, but... *g*)
I adore TGiF! The kiss was smoking hot! Guh.
Oh I know! *wibbles*