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Fic: Mrs Saxon's Diary. Part 9/10
This has been almost finished for ages, I've just not had the time to polish it off. It never really turned out the way I planned, but I think it'll do. I hope you enjoy! :)
Setting: Post-'Sound of Drums'.
Spoilers: End of S3.
Pairing: Lucy/Harry.
Rating: PG-13.
Previous parts here.
Seven months after the fall of the Earth
I went to see Jack today.
I dismissed the guards, so we could speak in private - I didn’t want an audience.
“Well then,” he said, smirking despite the grime and the hair that now hung down into his eyes. “A visit from the First Lady herself. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
I didn’t smile back. Instead I studied him silently for a moment.
“I wanted to talk to you. After all you’re the only one here who understands me.”
His eyes widened at that. Then he got angry. “Sorry, but that’s quite a bold claim. But then I figured you had to be insane...”
I walked up to him, face as close as could be despite the smell.
“I’m in love with a Timelord. His wish is my command. If that makes me insane, then what does that make you, Jack Harkness?”
He suddenly swallowed, and I allowed myself a superior little smile.
“You waited for your Doctor for more than a century. You would die for him if you could. Don’t tell me we aren’t alike. You and me and little Martha Jones somewhere below. Our world revolves around them, no matter what they do.”
“But they’re different,” he said, “The Doctor is a hero!”
“Depends how you look at it,” I replied, now smiling properly. “Your Doctor committed genocide on an unparalleled scale. My Master is still trying to catch up...”
“He did what he had to, to end a war! The Master is starting one,” Jack answered, vehemently. “Just look at what he’s done to Earth-”
“Oh please, like the Doctor isn’t flawed. I know all about him and what he’s like. And I know about Torchwood - he was seen as a threat to humanity, wasn’t he? Dipping in and out of history, saving lives on a whim and always on his terms. Never committing and always leaving his ‘companions’ behind. But the Master married me Jack, put a ring on my finger even though I’m only human.”
I couldn’t help smiling as I remembered the day. “I’m sure you saw the pictures in the papers - such a fairy tale wedding.”
“Some fairy tale,” he shot back. “Never knew the prince kept such a harem, not to mention beating up his Cinderella...”
I tried - and mostly succeeded I think - to keep my composure.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m his, and he does as he pleases. It is not my place to complain - I made my choice, for better or worse, and I am perfectly aware that he’ll probably kill me one day. But...” I caught his eyes and held them, speaking with emphasis, “he will never abandon me!”
That one hit home.
I think I’m quite an apt pupil - such lovely pain, and not a drop of blood spilled. A very satisfying bit of work I thought, as I turned to leave, but then he called out after me.
“Lucy!”
I slowly walked back. “I could have you flogged for speaking to me like that. Have you ever been flogged Jack?”
“Listen,” he said, voice pleading, “please just for a moment stop. Look at what’s happening. How he treats you, what he’s doing to the world. Is this really what you want? You could- you might be the only one who could possibly-”
“Could possibly what?” I asked archly. “Hurt him? Try to stop him somehow? Undo his work?”
Jack’s face showed clearly that this was exactly what he’d been hoping. How naive... It was quite sweet really, the way he obviously thought that this was his chance to ‘get me on his side’. How could he not know that my Master wanders amongst my thoughts as easily as amongst his own?
Slowly I shook my head. “He can’t be killed Jack, you know that. And he can’t be stopped, trust me - I watched him plan every step, and he’s thought of everything. The only thing you can do is accept that this is how things are - like I have. You want to save the world - please understand that despite everything he is my world. Don’t ever ask me to betray him again.”
I could see defeat spread across his features, and smiled a little to myself as I went to fetch the guards. I had been right - crushing his spirit really had brought me some cheer. Maybe not the same sort of cheer as last Christmas, but beggars can’t be choosers.
“Make sure he gets his hair trimmed regularly,” I told the soldiers. “He should be able to see the wonder of the Master’s world as clearly as everyone else.”
“Yes Ma’am,” he Lieutenant replied. “Do you want him to be washed too?”
I took one last look at Jack, and then shook my head.
“No. The dirt suits him.”
~~~
The Master is going to make it snow all around the world for Christmas. It is going to be beautiful - like me, he said. Then he started singing ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’
The Doctor pointed out that thousands would die in the sudden cold, to which my Master replied that the Doctor was the one who had suggested doing something to mark Christmas in the first place.
I wonder why the Doctor even bothers anymore - it is not like we aren’t all slowly dying anyway. And freezing to death in a single night seems to me better than to do it over many, many long years.
Part 10.
Setting: Post-'Sound of Drums'.
Spoilers: End of S3.
Pairing: Lucy/Harry.
Rating: PG-13.
Previous parts here.
Seven months after the fall of the Earth
I went to see Jack today.
I dismissed the guards, so we could speak in private - I didn’t want an audience.
“Well then,” he said, smirking despite the grime and the hair that now hung down into his eyes. “A visit from the First Lady herself. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
I didn’t smile back. Instead I studied him silently for a moment.
“I wanted to talk to you. After all you’re the only one here who understands me.”
His eyes widened at that. Then he got angry. “Sorry, but that’s quite a bold claim. But then I figured you had to be insane...”
I walked up to him, face as close as could be despite the smell.
“I’m in love with a Timelord. His wish is my command. If that makes me insane, then what does that make you, Jack Harkness?”
He suddenly swallowed, and I allowed myself a superior little smile.
“You waited for your Doctor for more than a century. You would die for him if you could. Don’t tell me we aren’t alike. You and me and little Martha Jones somewhere below. Our world revolves around them, no matter what they do.”
“But they’re different,” he said, “The Doctor is a hero!”
“Depends how you look at it,” I replied, now smiling properly. “Your Doctor committed genocide on an unparalleled scale. My Master is still trying to catch up...”
“He did what he had to, to end a war! The Master is starting one,” Jack answered, vehemently. “Just look at what he’s done to Earth-”
“Oh please, like the Doctor isn’t flawed. I know all about him and what he’s like. And I know about Torchwood - he was seen as a threat to humanity, wasn’t he? Dipping in and out of history, saving lives on a whim and always on his terms. Never committing and always leaving his ‘companions’ behind. But the Master married me Jack, put a ring on my finger even though I’m only human.”
I couldn’t help smiling as I remembered the day. “I’m sure you saw the pictures in the papers - such a fairy tale wedding.”
“Some fairy tale,” he shot back. “Never knew the prince kept such a harem, not to mention beating up his Cinderella...”
I tried - and mostly succeeded I think - to keep my composure.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m his, and he does as he pleases. It is not my place to complain - I made my choice, for better or worse, and I am perfectly aware that he’ll probably kill me one day. But...” I caught his eyes and held them, speaking with emphasis, “he will never abandon me!”
That one hit home.
I think I’m quite an apt pupil - such lovely pain, and not a drop of blood spilled. A very satisfying bit of work I thought, as I turned to leave, but then he called out after me.
“Lucy!”
I slowly walked back. “I could have you flogged for speaking to me like that. Have you ever been flogged Jack?”
“Listen,” he said, voice pleading, “please just for a moment stop. Look at what’s happening. How he treats you, what he’s doing to the world. Is this really what you want? You could- you might be the only one who could possibly-”
“Could possibly what?” I asked archly. “Hurt him? Try to stop him somehow? Undo his work?”
Jack’s face showed clearly that this was exactly what he’d been hoping. How naive... It was quite sweet really, the way he obviously thought that this was his chance to ‘get me on his side’. How could he not know that my Master wanders amongst my thoughts as easily as amongst his own?
Slowly I shook my head. “He can’t be killed Jack, you know that. And he can’t be stopped, trust me - I watched him plan every step, and he’s thought of everything. The only thing you can do is accept that this is how things are - like I have. You want to save the world - please understand that despite everything he is my world. Don’t ever ask me to betray him again.”
I could see defeat spread across his features, and smiled a little to myself as I went to fetch the guards. I had been right - crushing his spirit really had brought me some cheer. Maybe not the same sort of cheer as last Christmas, but beggars can’t be choosers.
“Make sure he gets his hair trimmed regularly,” I told the soldiers. “He should be able to see the wonder of the Master’s world as clearly as everyone else.”
“Yes Ma’am,” he Lieutenant replied. “Do you want him to be washed too?”
I took one last look at Jack, and then shook my head.
“No. The dirt suits him.”
The Master is going to make it snow all around the world for Christmas. It is going to be beautiful - like me, he said. Then he started singing ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’
The Doctor pointed out that thousands would die in the sudden cold, to which my Master replied that the Doctor was the one who had suggested doing something to mark Christmas in the first place.
I wonder why the Doctor even bothers anymore - it is not like we aren’t all slowly dying anyway. And freezing to death in a single night seems to me better than to do it over many, many long years.
Part 10.
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Poor you!
Very creepy, especially the bits which basically seem like an abused wife justifying her situation to herself...
I love writing creepy stuff. :) And trying to get inside Lucy's head is fascinating - she *is* an abused wife (obviously), but the damage is far more than just physical.
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“It doesn’t matter. I’m his, and he does as he pleases. It is not my place to complain - I made my choice, for better or worse, and I am perfectly aware that he’ll probably kill me one day. But...” I caught his eyes and held them, speaking with emphasis, “he will never abandon me!”
::shivers::
The christmas thing is creepy too, in that good way!
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Isn't it just? And taking Lucy from abused to abuser struck me as very plausible... She still has some feistiness left, even though it is waning.
I like Lucy seeking out Jack; somehow I can believe that. I didn't see their parellels-- good call.
There is soooo much meta in this story! :) And I figured that Lucy would need to bond with *someone* - someone who chose the same life as hers, even if it was the other way round. And of course she really has a trump card when it comes to the abandonment issue.
The christmas thing is creepy too, in that good way!
I liked the Lucy/Earth parallel - beautiful, but damaged. And how the snow will hide the more obvious flaws, but it is all still there. (Not terribly subtle I know, but my brain wasn't functioning properly.)
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You SO need to read my little fic. Omgs.
Anyhow, after reading all of this, I'd like to friend you so I can keep posted on when you post more!! :D I hope that you don't mind, but I suspect you've made a few LJ friends with your prose.
Well done. Awesome. Kudos.
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Lucy/Master is a fav pairing of mine too, admittedly.
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I'm not sure it is *possible* not to ship them...
But I love to pair up the Master with EVERYONE. He's just that hot. :D In that really, wrong but good kinda way.
Oh yes. I have read Master/Martha/Jack and it was *awesome*! :)
Lucy/Master is a fav pairing of mine too, admittedly.
She is the anti-Rose. I love it.
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Link me please?
Anyhow, after reading all of this, I'd like to friend you so I can keep posted on when you post more!! :D I hope that you don't mind, but I suspect you've made a few LJ friends with your prose.
New friends are *always* welcome! I don't friend back automatically anymore, since I can barely keep up with my flist as it is... *is sad* Anyway, welcome to - I remember seeing you around. Feel free to look around and make yourself at home. :)
Well done. Awesome. Kudos.
Gah! I shall pass out from feedback overload. But it is a good way to go! *smooches*
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http://community.livejournal.com/saxonvoters/89667.html
It's from my fanfic LJ. Fair warning, character death but nothing you wouldn't expect. I plan to continue it at some point but have been busy with my original writing (published writer, whee!).
Don't worry about it if you can't friend me back. :)
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I plan to continue it at some point but have been busy with my original writing (published writer, whee!).
::is terribly jealous:: (Also now rather overwhelmed that you like *my* writing... *hides*)
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For some reason I have a talent for writing disturbing stuff. I would worry, if it wasn't so much fun! ;)
I can't wait for the next part!
Am working on it already!
This is the most convincing Lucy fic I have ever read. More soon, please?
That is praise indeed, thank you LOTS! And I'll do my best to get it finished, promise. Thank you so much for reading!
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The last paragraph is my favourite, because it's a wonderfully chilling little story on its own and says quite a lot about the Master, the Doctor and Lucy, and their states of mind and emotion at this point.
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Really? *feels very honoured*
very convincing Lucy, both abused and dealing out pain.
Oh thank you so much! I think your Lucy was the best I've ever read (and I've been rather worried about inadvertently stealing any of your ideas), so I cherish your comment very much!
Mind you, I'm not sure she would have had access to all the necessary information - Jack waiting for over a century, the reason why Torchwood was founded etc., and most crucially the way the time war ended - but then I tell myself the Master loves monologuing, so, no problem.
That was my thought too - and we saw in SoD that he'd told her pretty much everything about himself and his plans, so he might have had fun telling her what he found out about Jack etc. Also I'm pretty sure that he read her mind, and she might very well have glimpsed his at the same time (like Reinette did with the Doctor).
This serves as an explanation of how Jack knows, too, because the Doctor didn't tell him.
Oh yes. I think the Master would very happily taunt Jack with all of the Doctor's failings.
The last paragraph is my favourite, because it's a wonderfully chilling little story on its own and says quite a lot about the Master, the Doctor and Lucy, and their states of mind and emotion at this point.
Thank you - I really struggled with that, and how to fit it in organically, but in the end decided that its abruptness might work quite well. Also liked to turn the Doctor's 'gift' to Donna on its head. (Not to mention the Narnia mirroring - the forever snowy winter without Christmas etc.)
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I loved his attitude when he greeted her, but how he got angry at once when she made a parallel between the two of them. And I loved Lucy's attitude. Cold, matter-of-fact, not letting him have the upper hand, even threatening to have him flogged if he disrespected her—in control. The way she described her relationship with the Master in two simple sentences, and made it obvious that they were similar, Jack and her. And it unsettled him so much.
“Your Doctor committed genocide on an unparalleled scale. My Master is still trying to catch up...”
Gosh. Go Lucy. ♥ And your Doctor, my Master. Making obvious what was there all along, hinted at…
I loved Lucy's analysis of the Doctor's character. Great point about Torchwood—her words were so sharp and deadly accurate. I loved the fact that the Doctor never committed, but the Master chose and claimed Lucy entirely—making her his own, embracing it. Such an unsettling remark, as was the fairytale quality of their marriage. A cruel fairytale, powerful and merciless, but so they often are. Loved Jack's irony about it though—and the fact that it struck Lucy, more than anything else he'd said.
I made my choice, for better or worse—still. Always. Oh, I can't WAIT to see your take on the killing scene… And the fact that he'd kill her, but not abandon her. The ultimate ownership. She'd be his own until the very end—he would choose her end, and deliver it. (I actually had the thought for a while, with my old OTP, that to die by her master's hand would be something Bellatrix could entirely embrace, so the situation is not so shocking to me…)
And oh. How much she enjoyed hurting Jack. How she knew exactly what she was doing, and relished it quietly. And the fact that you made her not a victim, not entirely a doll, but a pupil. I love it.
I loved how Jack tried to get her to stop. Exactly like the Doctor would. Stop, think—"you could be so much more". Ghhhh! I can't even. And Lucy finding him naive, even sweet. God, it was so chilling. And her answer was flawless. The last lines about having Jack's hair cut, but leaving him in the dirt KILLED me.
The closing paragraph was incredible… the Master, then the Doctor, then Lucy. Three opposite points of view, and such insight. Lucy's was… just mind-blowing. The freezing… like she seemed frozen herself. It hurts just beautifully.
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This is what I've been saying... :)
I loved his attitude when he greeted her, but how he got angry at once when she made a parallel between the two of them. And I loved Lucy's attitude. Cold, matter-of-fact, not letting him have the upper hand, even threatening to have him flogged if he disrespected her—in control. The way she described her relationship with the Master in two simple sentences, and made it obvious that they were similar, Jack and her. And it unsettled him so much.
She is the darkly mirrored companion (something the Master specifically mentions in LotT) - except she's not learned how to save worlds, but cruelty.
I loved Lucy's analysis of the Doctor's character. Great point about Torchwood—her words were so sharp and deadly accurate. I loved the fact that the Doctor never committed, but the Master chose and claimed Lucy entirely—making her his own, embracing it.
It's all she's got, but it's one hell of a trump card.
Such an unsettling remark, as was the fairytale quality of their marriage. A cruel fairytale, powerful and merciless, but so they often are. Loved Jack's irony about it though—and the fact that it struck Lucy, more than anything else he'd said.And oh. How much she enjoyed hurting Jack. How she knew exactly what she was doing, and relished it quietly. And the fact that you made her not a victim, not entirely a doll, but a pupil. I love it.
An apt pupil... the Master chose well.
Ghhhh! I can't even. And Lucy finding him naive, even sweet. God, it was so chilling. And her answer was flawless. The last lines about having Jack's hair cut, but leaving him in the dirt KILLED me.
Yesssss. Knew you'd get it.
The closing paragraph was incredible… the Master, then the Doctor, then Lucy. Three opposite points of view, and such insight. Lucy's was… just mind-blowing. The freezing… like she seemed frozen herself. It hurts just beautifully.
A frozen Queen, with nothing to look forward to, ever...
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*high fives*
She is the darkly mirrored companion (something the Master specifically mentions in LotT) - except she's not learned how to save worlds, but cruelty.
And like companions, she is strong in her own right and yet dependent on the Master…
Yesssss. Knew you'd get it.
♥
A frozen Queen, with nothing to look forward to, ever...
You really want to make sure my heart is shattered, don't you? ;) (Well, I do like having my heart shattered…)
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And, unlike companions, incapable of walking away... (But we talked about that in chapter 10.)
You really want to make sure my heart is shattered, don't you? ;) (Well, I do like having my heart shattered…)
I hurt you because I care?
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Oh, you are ace. XD
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(So sorry, couldn't help myself.)
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*hums "Kiss with a Fist"*
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