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A thought about Willow.
Don't know why, but this has been going round in my head recently. It's very obvious, but it gave me insight into Willow (which is a good thing), and how she grows etc.
The thing I noticed was this:
WILLOW: ...the only thing I had going for me ... were the moments - just moments - when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. (grimly) And that will never happen again.
Now I like Willow/Tara very much, but Willow's statement here seems to me to say that she's really very immature when it comes to love. What she says is all about how Tara made *her* feel... Contrast for a moment with Spike in 'Touched':
I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me.
Then I began wondering about Willow/Kennedy - it starts with plain, ordinary attraction, but Kennedy is soon made to realise that Willow isn't 'wonderful'. And Willow is careful that she doesn't forget her lesson. Kennedy doesn't try to ignore the darkness for the sake of keeping peace, she makes herself Willow's link out of it.
*re-reads*
Does that make sense all? I'm not really used to Willow meta, or exploring her character. How much growing up did she do in S7? Did Kennedy help? What did Willow learn about love?
Thoughts? Comments? Anything? Please come bringing insights, because I'm flailing.
The thing I noticed was this:
WILLOW: ...the only thing I had going for me ... were the moments - just moments - when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. (grimly) And that will never happen again.
Now I like Willow/Tara very much, but Willow's statement here seems to me to say that she's really very immature when it comes to love. What she says is all about how Tara made *her* feel... Contrast for a moment with Spike in 'Touched':
I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me.
Then I began wondering about Willow/Kennedy - it starts with plain, ordinary attraction, but Kennedy is soon made to realise that Willow isn't 'wonderful'. And Willow is careful that she doesn't forget her lesson. Kennedy doesn't try to ignore the darkness for the sake of keeping peace, she makes herself Willow's link out of it.
*re-reads*
Does that make sense all? I'm not really used to Willow meta, or exploring her character. How much growing up did she do in S7? Did Kennedy help? What did Willow learn about love?
Thoughts? Comments? Anything? Please come bringing insights, because I'm flailing.
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Then the series did tend to be a little young with all the relationships, perhaps because the characters were supposed to be very young. So a little immaturity would be expected. They did age from 15-22 from start to finish, so they would have to do a lot of growing up during that time.
*goes off before saying anything about season 8*
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*nods* Not sure what to make of that, to be honest.
Then the series did tend to be a little young with all the relationships, perhaps because the characters were supposed to be very young. So a little immaturity would be expected.
Oh absolutely. It just truck me just how obvious it is.
And my mouth is sealed re s8 too!
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GILES: Everything's connected. You're connected to a great power, whether you feel it or not.
WILLOW: Well you should just take it from me.
GILES: You know we can't. This isn't a hobby or an addiction. It's inside you now, this magic. You're responsible for it.
I think her story is S7 is that she finally has what she always wanted - more power than she knows what to do with. But a) she only knows how to access it from a dark place and b) she knows that her knowledge is far less than her abilities. So it's kinda the reverse of all the other seasons, when she always *knew* a lot, but didn't really have the power to follow through... until (end S5/) S6 when it all went off the rails, and she lost the grip. S7 is her taking baby-steps towards being able to manage all this power, and - in Chosen - having a major break through: Finally she can use the power, and not the other way around.
(s8 has indeed not offered much insight into where she's gone from then. Just a big 'she's been missing for a year'.)
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Don't know whether what I am trying to say makes sense - but that has always been at the back of my mind when I have thought of the relationship - Kennedy was someone to help her escape and get through the next day
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Yes. I think that's a very good thought. And in a way quite like Buffy/Riley, which would have worked a lot better if they both wanted the same from it. (Of course what Kennedy wants is fairly opaque, but she's very young, and I doubt that she's looking for something eternal...)
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As for Willow/Kennedy, I've always seen it as a one sided attraction. Kennedy is fascinated by Willow, has a crush on her, probably on her way to fall in love with her. I don't see Willow returning Kennedy's feelings though, it was very obvious that Willow's heart isn't in the relationship (which is why I'm glad she and Kennedy are taking a break, it's bad to lead Kennedy on when Willow isn't feeling the same way as Kennedy). Kennedy felt like a step for Willow to move on and get more confident about herself.
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Oh absolutely. The issues between the couples are also wildly different. It just truck me how we shouldn't expect too much from these characters - they have a lot piled on top of them at a very young age.
Kennedy felt like a step for Willow to move on and get more confident about herself.
*nods*
(Although, I have to say that youth needn't mean immaturity - Darcy and I were 19 and 20 when we got married!)
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Awww, that's adorable. I think it's more about the experience. As a 23 year old woman, I don't think I've got enough experiences in my life as I mostly enjoy being single and not worry about a partner or kids. The kids in my class are enough to drive me bananas. :)
I guess up until now Willow hadn't really had a relationship that could get her more mature in love, as most of her partners worshipped her to the point where they don't see any fault in her, even Buffy and Xander act that way toward her. I think since the start of S7, it's about Willow maturing and learning to outcome her flaws, wheren in S1 to S6 it's about an insecure Willow trying to grow more confident.
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My parents got married at the same age, and I always said I wouldn't do the same thing... but then I met Darcy and, in the words of Doyle's wife, it was a 'madly in love couldn't live without each other' kind of thing. Basically, we just *knew*. That's the only way I can explain it.
I think since the start of S7, it's about Willow maturing and learning to outcome her flaws, wheren in S1 to S6 it's about an insecure Willow trying to grow more confident.
Oh I like that summing up. Very nice. :)
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To me the season six magic addiction thing was Willow behaving much less controlled/mature, than we ever saw her before. I think it fits, because especially intelligent people, who spent there actual teen years reading way to much Virginia Woolf, often get a bit of a relapse in there twenties and need a trip on wild side.
What I´m trying to say is, stable Willow in S7 might be more a continuation of S5 Willow (but with a dark streak and real knowledge about what having been evil means(Love the dialog she has with Wesley in S4 of Angel)).
So on the love front, I think, she has lost the ability to just enjoy. She always was a bit of a control freak, but never when her feelings were concerned. When Willow let herself go in S6, everything turned very dark for her. Now, I´d figure, she must have a hard time falling in love without planning and turning around possibilities in her head. Has good and bad sides, I guess. She might never again rely so much on a lover, as she did on Tara. But then it might be good for her relationships, if she doesn´t have to loose herself in the other person.
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*nods* Much like Buffy...
What I´m trying to say is, stable Willow in S7 might be more a continuation of S5 Willow
Yes, I think that's my view too - and I need to re-watch that scene with Wes!
But then it might be good for her relationships, if she doesn´t have to loose herself in the other person.
Yes - and again the parallels with Buffy (and her relationship with Angel) are very nice.
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Willow always had big self-esteem issues, but season 4 is when the balance tipped and she started to become much more self-confident - more so than Buffy, even. (And of course it went to her head and she over-compensated. She's always had an arrogant streak about her capabilities, but after Season 4 she felt no need to hide it.)
As for Tara - she enabled her. She boosted Willow's ego and self-satisfaction at her new life to stratospheric levels, and never once* challenged her or pushed back. Compare that to Oz, even, where Willow was never quite sure where she stood. With Tara, she knew exactly: she was worshipped and loved.
* 'never once' is an exaggeration for the sake of dramatic effect.
By season 6, they were both growing up. Tara was able finally to stand up for herself against Willow, at least in a limited way - if she hadn't died, thier relationship might have matured into something much healthier - but it neber got chance. As for Willow, she got her nose rubbed into her character failings during the Smashed-Wrecked arc, going from a sulky disbelief that she could possibly be in the wrong to a hesitant admission that maybe, yes she was. Which, of course, was brought home to her even more conclusively later on.
Like I said in my very first piece of LJ meta, Kennedy was good for Willow because she wouldn't stand for any of her crap; she was perfectly willing to push back - but it's also clear that she was in love with her. I agree with your thoughts, that at first it was just attraction, but after The killer In Me and Get It Done Kennedy came to a new appreciation of Willow's depths, and a more genuine feeling for her. It may well be Kennedy's first 'real' relationship, as opposed to dating and going out with people.
As for the other way around - I do tend to agree that Willow wasn't as much in love with Kennedy as she was with her, but not to the extent that she didn't care for her at all. In fact, knowing Willow I suspect she would feel really guilty about this imbalance. I think she was rather bemused by Kennedy; she just sort of fell into her relationships with Oz and Tara, so somebody actively coming on to her must have been a peculiar (flattering, scary) experience for her.
Also, of course, her self-image - constructed so carefully over the last few years - had been utterly shattered by the events of Seeing Red-Grave; discovering that she was still worthy of being loved was something she had to ease herself into slowly.
Has she got over her selfishness in relationships? I think it's notable that she warns Kennedy away from her several times, presumably for Kennedy's own good; and she wonders aloud what K could possibly see in her (in a genuine, rather than fishing for compliments way). But I don't recall ever seeing her boosting and supporting Kennedy herself, rather than accepting her support, so maybe she does still have more growing up to do.
(It's been a while since I read or wrote meta that wasn't about season 8. It's fun! :-) )
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Don't have anything to add really, but I'm very grateful for your input. Might come back to this when Willow turns up in my WIP - it's nice to have meta all ready and waiting. :)
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I do have one thing to add, though. The most important person in Willow's life isn't Tara, and it isn't Kennedy (and it wasn't Oz). It's Buffy. Always has been, always will be.
It's not a mindless devotion; I'm sure that in 'Choices', for example, Willow thought rationally through her future career options before deciding that staying in Sunnydale with Buffy would be the best decision. But if Buffy had gone to Cleveland instead, I'm sure Willow would have found a way to justify following her there too. :-) And yes, part of her resents having to be 'the sidekick'; it's a big reason why she learned magic, so she wouldn't be just the useless follower. And all that resentment came boiling out in 'Two To Go' when she no longer cared about restraining or hiding her negative feelings. But most of the time, Willow is ashamed of her darker side.
"It's pathetic -- she [ie, herself] lets everyone walk all over her and then she gets cranky at her friends for no reason."
In fact, Willow sometimes seemed to treat her relationships with Tara and Kennedy as a temporary source of refuge - where she could draw support and comfort to recharge her for her main life's work, which is being with Buffy...
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Comes in handy at times! :)
It's Buffy. Always has been, always will be.
Ah yes. Excellent point - thank you.
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I will say that I never thought Tara was especially good for Willow. A strong personality like Willow needs someone who is able to stand up to her to have balanced, healthy relationship. Oz (for example) was interested in Willow in season two, but won't kiss her just to make Xander jealous-- which is when she suddenly becomes interested in him. Tara was starting to stand up for herself in season 6, but in Seeing Red she wants to skip all the painful parts And just be kissing me (or something like that) so who knows how it might have gone!
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:) See? I am Pollyanna, bringing the positive sides to the most unlikely places! And yes, I agree with what you say.
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Don't see them having a long term relationship though-- they don't seem to have much in common besides both being "Gay, Now". And with Willow I'm not so sure it's so much "Gay Now" as "Bi Now". Of course in my personal version of season 8 (which happens only in my head) she met up with Oz again on some trip for the new council... Maybe in Istanbul...
It's happy inside my head!
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Hmmmm. I might snag that. ;)