Entry tags:
Meta café: I Contain Multitudes: Notes on Bring It Home (Sugar Daddy) vid
PLUS: 'It's A Cold And It's A Broken Hallelujah' - Queer lens as default: Crowley (and Heaven and hell)
So, finally a Good Omens meta café, but not my usual style. (It has taken me best part of a week to write this and it's 10k+ words.) It's also the gayest thing I have ever posted, by quite some distance. (With many thanks to Owls for queer picking <3)
Since I was lucky enough to beta/cheerlead as this vid was created, I thought I’d write up what it all meant (much to Promethia's delight). So this is, essentially, a look inside our brains (Owls', Promethia's and mine) by going through the vid (almost) clip by clip. I have skipped some of the filler stuff, but everything important gets addressed. So if you are interested in what it’s saying, and why, and looking at what’s going on below the surface, this is the post for you! With insights into the vidder’s thoughts, much, MUCH meta (on... everything, the vid just provides the structure), and a great deal of self-indulgent asides by yours truly. I mean, the vid is self-indulgent, so the Notes should be too. It only follows logically.
Plus there is an additional bit of meta end, dealing with Crowley, Heaven & hell, and (serendipitously) tying in to another vid. ☺ Warning: If you are not an emotional wreck by the end, I have failed.
Vid: Bring it Home (Sugar Daddy) by promethia_tenk
Fandom: Good Omens, Aziraphale, Aziraphale/Crowley
Music: ‘Sugar Daddy,’ from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, as sung by that other gay angel, Neil Patrick Harris
Warnings: It’s a Good Omens vid to ‘Sugar Daddy’ from Hedwig and the Angry Inch . . . YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (i.e. this is... NSFW/not suitable for children!)
Summary: “I suddenly recognized the flavor in my mouth: it's the taste of power.”
GO WATCH, follow links, and then come back to me.
Also: Hallelujah by![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
purplefringe. summary: there's a blaze of light in every word / it doesn't matter which you heard / the holy or the broken hallelujah. On faith, and falling, and freedom. (Re-posted on youtube here.)
(Do I need to warn for Spoilers? DO NOT read until you've watched the show. This is tv series canon, not book.)
Also on AO3
Before we start, these are Owls’ meta posts that I will reference. Links here for ease (rather than linking every time) and also for basic explanations:
Aziraphale is a Big Gay Thot - this essay lays out how Aziraphale’s arc over the show is a Coming Out Story, grasping his own identity and leaving heaven behind
Mirrors in Good Omens - an essay on how all the characters are mirrors of each other, something the vid uses to great effect by using stand-ins to highlight points
The D/s meta - vital meta on the dynamics of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship and how it maps onto d/s patterns and behaviours
Come On, Sugar Daddy, Bring Me Home
Follow me down into the rabbit hole… (there are metaphors all the way down!)
Intro
Vidder’s notes: ‘Crowley sauntering with his back to the camera. I wanted to establish very quickly that, while Crowley is the titular character here, we are looking at him and not in his POV.’
Please note the ‘Striptease’ sign in the 1960’s clip and then the angel and demon statue (explanation). Also how the vid starts on the beat when Crowley turns, facing the camera (and sits down behind Aziraphale).
Vidder’s notes: ‘I liked the predatory feel of this moment, especially together with the shot of him circling up behind Az as a snake earlier. Also the manbun look, as the hottest of all Crowley looks, was a mandatory inclusion.’
It’s also important that they are making a show of meeting in secret, covertly, like the government agents in the park whom they also emulate. Or indeed the gay men - St James was a famous cruising spot (with thanks to Owls for the information). We’ll come back to this.
I've got a sweet tooth
For liquorice drops and jelly roll
Cakes and sweets! Quite straightforward, although we get out first clip of ‘Other characters as representatives/aspects of our main characters’ in Shadwell pouring (sweetened!) condensed milk. His favoring that with nine sugars on top of it was amusing, and perfectly fitting with the ‘sweet tooth’ theme. Also I love the shot of Aziraphale with the sushi, he looks like an anime character. (ETA: Speaking of sushi.) And the clip of Aziraphale getting hit with the cake is just… well, filthy, really.
Hey, sugar daddy
Crowley certainly looks the part of lothario, and the Bastille shots were deliberately paired with Rome, that being the first time that Aziraphale approaches Crowley and seeks time with him.
Hansel needs some sugar in his bowl
Words sort of fail me here. Like, hot damn, look at lil innocent Aziraphale just *owning* this? That look! And the dainty little dabbing of his mouth with the napkin. So precise. So neat. So absolutely knowing what he’s doing. This is where the ‘transformative’ in Transformative Work comes into play. Marrying the shot and the lyrics creates something new, imbues the original with a different meaning. This shot with that lyric and… filth! It’s like magic. (That is not to say that all of this is conjecture. A lot of it is digging into actual themes and layers. Some parts however, as stated before, are just filth. *g*)
Vidder’s notes: ‘More Crowley being slutty’.
I think we can all agree that Promethia succeed exceptionally well in choosing a good clip. And pairing it with Aziraphale’s ‘Oooh, would you look at that’ reaction is just inspired. (Also, having done a complete survey, Promethia can confirm for the viewer that the bench-sitting shot is the sluttiest of all bench-sitting shots in this thing.)
I'll lay out fine China on the linen
And polish up the chrome
Again with Madam Tracy & Shadwell as inserts, although the absolute stroke of genius was using the shot of Mrs Beeton’s, thus giving the book which was used as a joke when referred to as ‘pornography’ an actual dirty connotation. (Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management was the 1800s version of being a Good Housewife, for those not familiar. I own a copy, it’s still a thing. And yes, it is that enormous.)
Vidder’s notes: ‘Ask me how much nesting fic I've read in the last month. All of it. All. Of. It. The idea of the bookshop as a nest to which Crowley should be brought home was very present in my mind for this. Also this was the nesting fic OP's original thought: ‘oh, the bookshop is a nest!’ And while I appreciate the many variations on nesting ideas I've read, I still think this one is by far the most effective. This description, in particular, has stuck with me:
‘Aziraphale is nesting, but on purpose. Crowley is blithely unaware. Aziraphale is generally fine with this, he’ll get the picture eventually. Aziraphale meanwhile continues perfecting the bookshop-nest slowly and methodically over decades, filling it with soft warm things and many alcohols. He appreciates that it is fundamentally an Effective Nest, because look how often Crowley comes over uninvited and flops on his couches and drinks his wine’
^^^ so that is very much the interpretation I am going for here.
Also, those were the lines Owls quoted to me when he first brought up the song, and my brain just went 'oohhhhhh, yes, that works’’
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
And then the Sugar Daddy steps up.
This is one of the central pieces of Owl’s D/s meta, but alas it is too much to quote, so I have only picked out a few lines, because the specific turns of phrase are, well, important. He refers to the Reign of Terror scenes as ‘Aziraphale’s Power Bottom Awakening’:
‘Peak Bitch Aziraphale is best Aziraphale, because at some point between secret gay rendezvous and now he's just decided to be, like, a flaming queer.
And the prissy aristocrat image is entirely appropriate, because he has power now, and he knows it, and he adores it. He's a spoiled little princess and he's just reveling in it.
He deliberately pushes Crowley's buttons, enough to launch him out of casually lounging in the windowsill. [...] Like, he's so assuredly safe around Crowley, in fact spoiled rotten and catered to by him, that being snarled at is just foreplay, right? [...] And it's Crowley who breaks the chains, because Crowley is kind of responsible for his Power Bottom Awakening, and also hasn't been entirely respectful of his agency until this point, yes?’
And then they set off for crepes (or the Ritz, in this instance), where there is Crowley neck-stroking. (And they show this to children!)
[Instrumental]
A fun detail from the book: The car has been clamped (which Crowley of course miracles away), but as they drive off the traffic warden’s notebook spontaneously combusts - to Crowley’s amazement.
‘I’m pretty certain I didn’t mean to do that,’ he said.
Aziraphale blushed.
‘That was me,’ he said. ‘I had always thought that your people invented them.’
‘Did you? We thought they were yours.’
Crowley stared at the smoke in the rear-view mirror.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s do the Ritz.’
Crowley had not bothered to book. In his world, table reservations were things that happened to other people.
So there, in that tiny little scene, we have the two of them working together perfectly, without even realising. And this is the scene that leads up to the Ritz scene above, so it all fits together.
Blackstrap molasses
You're my orange blossom honey bear
See this is Aziraphale talking *to* Crowley, and I think that final look just about makes the shots get away with it, what with ‘orange blossom honey bear’ really being a rather accurate description of Aziraphale himself. Blackstrap molasses is very Crowley though.
Vidder’s notes: ‘The two clips are both instances of him telling Crowley he is a nice person--once successfully, once not so much. Or, well . . . successfully to a different goal ;)’
(Sugar daddy, sugar daddy)
Um, it’s possible I’m supposed to be having thoughts at this point, but (as Promethia put it) ‘it just feels sinful in the most luxurious way’. This is a vid in which we are actively encouraged to appreciate how hot Crowley is, and it also highlights just how much he plays to that and how much he enjoys the performance.
Vidder’s notes: ‘The real reason I gave these clips such a prominent place--beyond the obvious visual appeal--is that, as the entire internet has noted, this is Aziraphale playing Crowley, and thus this is Crowley as Aziraphale sees him. Which is . . . rather a confirmation of the thesis here.’
Bring me Versace blue jeans
This is just terribly cute, but also calls attention to how fussy Aziraphale is with his appearance. It’s all carefully tailored. (‘I have standards!’)
Black designer underwear
And here we have Crowley describing said underwear - tracing an Aziraphale shape.
Vidder’s notes: ‘Now, I'm not sure if the underwear being described here are meant for Az to wear or for Crowley to wear for Aziraphale, but as the reveal shot is of Aziraphale playing Crowley, I guess we can have our cake and eat it too.’
And then we have Aziraphale reacting to this description (oh the way his eyes light up, it’s quite indecent) and then…
(Sugar daddy, sugar daddy)
A look at the underwear, as modelled by Crowley, being indecently gorgeous. (It’s OK to appreciate how slutty David Tennant looks, his wife gave us permission!)
We'll dress up like the disco dancing
Jet set in Milan and Rome
Clips are pretty much self--explanatory I think.
Vidder’s notes: ‘I like the parallels I made here. The song doesn't frequently set them in the same roles. It's not necessarily antagonistic, but it is notable that here they are the same, as they are in the last verse.’
Note from an AO3 comment, which was brilliantly insightful: ‘Also on the subject of motion, I love the way Crowley dropping the mask on his armor mirrors the downward motion of Aziraphale's hand as he changes out of his aristocratic getup in prison. It's not just visually appealing, but also really effective at driving home exactly what Aziraphale is doing with that clothing change: protecting himself.’
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
Azirpahale sending Crowley coy, but meaningful looks.
Vidder’s notes: ‘One of my minor delights in this vid was using Aziraphale's more adorably innocent moments (little waves and such) as indecently as possible. Thus his little 'temptation accomplished' wiggle to suggest something far more lascivious than lunch.’
Leading to The Nose Scrunch. Oh he just owns it. He’ll bring it home alright.
Vidder’s notes: ‘Re: the shot of them getting off the bench immediately thereafter. I didn't put it in as a crotch shot, really. But it stayed in as a crotch shot.’
Oh, the thrill of control
Like the rush of rock and roll
It’s the sweetest taste I've known, oh yeah
This is basically THE key moment of the whole vid. To pull out the Hedwig quote which is also the summary of the vid:
“I suddenly recognized the flavor in my mouth: it's the taste of power.”
It was a line that popped into Owl’s head the first time he saw the scene, and it’s absolutely perfect. Or to quote the D/s meta:
‘But Aziraphale discovers he can do this [look at Crowley just so]
And fucking nuke Crowley from orbit.
And he loves it.’
It’s Aziraphale learning to use his power, to play their game (‘the arrangement’) rather than just being played. (More on this later.)
Vidder’s notes: ‘I included the 'buck up Hamlet' moment for a little visual variety and movement, for Aziraphale's obvious delight, but also for the fact that Crowley is just staring at him again, entranced.’
Vidder’s notes: ‘Despite Aziraphale's distaste for bebop and fast driving, I figure you don't hang around someone like Crowley if you don't, deep down, have a craving for experience. [And] I sprinkled the car throughout this as filler, since it works as such an obvious extension of Crowley's general low-slung, rock’n’roll slinkiness.’
So come on, sugar daddy,
Vidder’s notes: ‘I never really got a chance to include the drinking scene in here in the way I would have liked to, because I love the coziness of them hanging around the bookshop and, again, so much nesting fic. But this moment of Aziraphale inviting him in is my little homage to the idea.’
bring it home
Again with the stand-ins, this time Anathema and Newt, the kiss heralding the moment they give in and just go for it. This vid is… occasionally very blunt in its metaphors.
[Musical interlude]
The main part of this (with Anathema and the bike) is there because (as per Promethia’s notes) ‘it’s one of the few times when Aziraphale fully takes control of what's going on, and Crowley just tags along, protesting weakly. In particular the cheek of putting the bike rack on Crowley's car, tartan-patterned and everything! I love the way he just uses tartan like a stamp: mine, mine, mine…’
I love it all to distraction, especially the last bit when Anathema turns and Aziraphale is just standing there, beaming, like 'Damn right, I am just that brilliant!' Like a tiny little triumphant angelic king, surveying his kingdom and his work and the effect it is having. ♥
Sidebar: The tartan was developed especially for the character, and is called ’Heaven’s Dress Tartan’.
When honey bees
Vidder’s notes: ‘Something about the drone-like nature of the angels, the geometric regularity of heaven, the way they swarm, the way they sting, made this feel very appropriate. I imagine they see humanity somewhat the way that bees see flowers: something to be cultivated and used for the good of the hive.’
go shopping
They literally went shopping!
It's something to be seen
Vidder’s notes: ‘I am eternally haunted by Sandalphon's smile. In it went.’
(Sugar daddy, lick your daddy)
So, the juxtaposition of these clips was very deliberate, showing the contrast between how Aziraphale is being treated by Heaven and by his demon. The angels are threatening, authoritative, monitoring. Crowley is so soft that all he needs is a pleading look from Aziraphale and he miracles the stain away.
They swarm to wild flowers
Aziraphale is the cutest wild flower, poor thing.
And get nectar for the queen
Vidder’s notes: ‘I put a double meaning in here, that plays on the wall slam. From the angels’ perspective, they are 'collecting' for their queen ie: God. But then The Queen is obviously also Aziraphale, who is not enjoying this nectar one bit, thank you. (But he sure will in about two lines.)’
(Sugar daddy, lick your daddy)
Vidder’s notes: ‘This is probably the shot that convinced me this had to be made. Mr. Tennant, your face.’
And every gift you bring me
Gets me dripping like a honeycomb
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
And, um, we’re back to the filth… But, filth with meaning! We have just seen Aziraphale thrown up against a wall by the angels, and how scared he was. Compare and contrast with what happens when Crowley does it - to quote Owls again:
‘Because when you throw a sub around [according to their own wants / parameters] they relax, because they know they're actually safe, and it's the exact reaction they're looking for.
And Aziraphale just stands there and adjusts his coat like he's not in any way upset or indignant he was physically manhandled into a wall and snarled at.
AND GOES RIGHT BACK TO SHIT-STIRRING!!!’
That little sideways glance that goes with ‘luck of the devil’.
So yeah, it *is* ‘filthy’, because this is how they interact (and the lyrics are… well, adding things), but it’s also Aziraphale deliberately provoking a reaction and getting exactly what he wants, so it is quite literally Sugar Daddy doing what he asks of him. Hence why this song is so very very perfect. Also many many bonus points for the quick shot of Shadwell with the pink whip. Yes, this is as naughty as you want it to be.
(Vidder’s aside: I like how Madam Tracy's flat has a whole menagerie of stuffed animals fit for an arc--including the unicorn!--in contrast to Crowley's recreated garden.)
Vidder’s notes: ‘I like the juxtaposition in these scenes in the show of the paint removal scene and the wall slam scene. I think they inform each other perfectly. Thus I was careful to keep them together here.’
It’s a dichotomy to keep in mind: Both the paint removal and the wall slamming is who they are, and part of how they operate. They are not (as some would think) mutually exclusive, but two aspects of a single dynamic.
Owl’s notes: ‘Provoking him is as deliberate and calculated as the puppy-dog-eyes pleading. They are both, essentially, rituals that allow them to express physical affection with each other when they can't articulate love to each other. The way Crowley leans over Azira's shoulder and makes a show of it when he could just snap his fingers? The way Azira is so completely unafraid and relaxed a random bystander assumes it's an intimate moment? Both imply tenderness.’
[Music]
Vidder’s notes: ‘Minor style note, but I really like the sped up aesthetic of the car shot leading into this, the old-timey side wipe transition into Aziraphale playing a WWII spy. It all feels very of a piece in a campy old movie sort of way.’
Oh, the thrill of control
Vidder’s notes: ‘I was not originally intending to put Shadwell in here with the witchfinder gun, but I needed to fill a beat and it served perfectly to highlight the idea of getting to wield power. And then it'll tie into the shot of him with Madam Tracy at the end of the verse.’
Like the Blitzkrieg on the roll
Is the sweetest taste I've known,
Vidder’s notes: ‘Obviously, the chance to use the Blitzkrieg literally could not be ignored. And Aziraphale is once again trying to tell Crowley he's been nice.’
oh yeah
The moment when Crowley arrives in the church and Aziraphale realizes he's not alone in this. And as far as we know, they have not spoken to, or seen each other, since 1862 and their ‘break-up’. And yet, here Crowley is, having his back and helping, and it reminds me of somethingthe_royal_anna once wrote about Buffy & Spike:
‘And these two come back to each other, again and again and again, not because it is their destiny but because it is their duty. They share enough history to owe it to each other to be there for each other.’
That kind of relationship is my favourite kind by far, so this hits me in many wonderful ways.
So if you've got some sugar bring it home,
One of the important parts of this (throughout) is how shared the control is. As Owls puts it, wrt Azirapahle:
‘And he swaggers in there with all the confidence in the world and laughs at [the Nazis].’
As it happened he was played, and Crowley comes to his rescue (by risking his own life!), but then asks Aziraphale to rescue them both, by saving them from the bomb. And then Crowley in turn has saved the books… They’re a team. Also note that almost all the shots feature the bird/angel statue in the background.
(oh yeah)
The framing of this moment is PURE GOLD.
Vidder’s notes: ‘Can I just take a moment to appreciate the pure campy luxuriousness of the way NPH sings this? I knew I had to find a way to do it justice.’
Come on, sugar daddy, bring it home
HE LITERALLY BROUGHT THE STATUE HOME
Vidder’s notes: ‘As with Newt and Anathema in the previous verse, Shadwell and Madam Tracy are providing us the resolution we're looking for by proxy. In this case the first shot comes after Shadwell declares anyone wanting to get to the "Whore of Babylon" will have to go through him, at which Madam Tracy positively melts and clings to him. For all that Madam Tracy has obviously been game from before the show even started, this is the moment, I think, that they become A Thing. The parallel to Az in the church seemed appropriate. And then it's Madam Tracy inviting Shadwell back to her 'den of iniquity' at the end. Meanwhile, Crowley's den of iniquity has some new art. I also like the parallel here of her nodding to Shadwell with Aziraphale nodding to Crowley on the bench at the end of the vid. (I've slightly misappropriated that moment, but shhhhhhh, it does the job.)’
Whiskey and French cigarettes
A motorbike with high-speed jets
A Waterpik, a Cuisinart
And a hypo-allergenic dog
Oh, I want all the luxuries of the modern age
Every item on every page
In the Lillian Vernon catalogue
And now we get to The Apocalypse and the prophecies and our gallery of rogues. So we have Agnes Nutter, ‘three shall ride as two’, the Four Horsemen, the Hellhound and so on, whilst also trying to match the lyrics, often causing very amusing connections (‘a Cuisinart’ becomes War (Vidders notes: ‘Here I was specifically thinking about swirling blades’) and the ‘hypo-allergenic dog’ becomes the Hellhound becomes Dog). Also Aziraphale reading the prophecies and piecing everything together; the delivery of the Anti-Christ and using the intro to sort of summarise all the things happening. Of course the prophecies themselves are ‘the Lillian Vernon catalogue’ (from which you can get all the things listed) and that final shot of Newt is a moment of realisation of how Yes it’s all true! Made even funnier by this bit from the book:
Anathema, fully dressed, walked over to her card index, pulled one out, and passed it to him.
Newt read it and blushed and gave it back, tight-lipped.
It wasn’t simply the fact that Agnes had known, and had expressed herself in the most transparent of codes. It was that, down the ages, various Devices had scrawled encouraging little comments in the margin.
Vidder’s note: ‘I also enjoy the underlying suggestion (from Newt's face) that Lillian Vernon is a catalogue of various sexual acts.’
[spoken]
Luther: Oh baby, somethin’ crossed my mind
I was thinking you’d look so fine
In a velvet dress
With heels and an ermine stole
The Arrangement or rather, most the instances of Crowley trying to get Aziraphale to do something he doesn’t want to do/is uncomfortable with. I am amazed every time I watch how well the words have been matched with the scenes, it even looks like Crowley is speaking. However, the main part is the Hamlet scene and Aziraphale’s reaction, which Owls describes thus:
‘This whole scene reads a bit sleazy tbh, someone being pressured into sexual favours, and Aziraphale has this face, like a Vicar's daughter who knows she's brought shame to the family name.’
Go read the D/s meta for more insight. But the sequence is there to show Crowley trying to get Aziraphale doing things he’s not comfortable with, and Aziraphale reacting badly.
[spoken]
Hansel: Oh, Luther darling,
Vidder’s notes: ‘This is specifically the moment of Az saying he's never killed anybody, which I wanted to be sure to include.’
heaven knows
Vidder’s notes: ‘Only realized after I did this section the extra layer of meaning implied by saying heaven knows he's never done these things.’
I’ve never put on women’s clothes
Important sidebar: The fact that the song is two men speaking to each other (rather than the inevitable male/female dynamic) is vital. It’s the fact of everything lining up - the show, the characters, the song, the dynamics. We are used to this with ‘straight’ shows, because that’s just how it goes, but that’s not what this show is. It’s a queer love story between two male [presenting] creatures, and although it’s tempting to press them into the pre-existing ‘love story mould’ (Star Crossed Lovers, say), this is something else. Aziraphale’s story in particular is a Coming Out story, and this ties into that as well. To quote the D/S post, which highlights the issues addressed here:
‘Aziraphale [is] 100% comfortable with [their] dynamic [as shown in the Revolution scene], [w]hich Crowley unfortunately mistakes for being ready to take personal risks in Heaven, which he is not, and that's why they break up.’
Vidder’s notes: ‘I included the holy water scene in this sequence to set up the thermos being used as a declaration of love later. Also obviously one of the most forceful instances of Aziraphale rejecting Crowley's requests.’
Except for once
My mother’s camisole!
And then we’re off! It’s not about the dressing up (Aziraphale is clearly perfectly happy in Madam Tracy’s body), but using that metaphor to show Aziraphale breaking away from his previous allegiance and finally throwing his lot in with Crowley. And the little wave in the mirror is so very precious. He’s so thrilled to have done this! Remember, possessing people is a ‘demon’ thing, it’s his first actual break with Heaven [after throwing himself out/orchestrating his own Fall] and if we read ‘Putting on women’s clothes’ as ‘possessing people’/’doing things angels shouldn’t do’, the metaphor works rather beautifully. :) Plus of course, he goes on to own it: “THE Southern Pansy”.
So you think only a woman
Vidder’s notes: Since I am obviously working against the lyrics a bit as neither Crowley nor Aziraphale have any problems with coming across feminine, I included both Crowley's 'what the . . . ?' reaction and later Crowley dressed as the nanny to show exactly what kind of 'man' Crowley is in return, the transition from the nanny to Madam Tracy screaming further highlighting the congruity here. There is also the nice parallel of both Crowley and Shadwell being shocked by Aziraphale’s actions (which highlights how All The Characters Mirror each other, because overall Madam Tracy stands in for Crowley, but here she - literally - switches to being Aziraphale).
Sidebar: You can also add any kind of defiance of cis-normativeness to this. Crowley especially blurs the gender lines a lot in how he presents himself over the years. (More on this later, in the meta at the end.)
Can truly love a man
Vidder’s notes: Obviously I am going with the interpretation that the holy water scene is a declaration of love, an acknowledgement that 'yes, there is something here' more than a putting on of the breaks. And fits with the general theme in this verse of Aziraphale off the rails and off-book, doing the unexpected.
[Instrumental]
And here we have Aziraphale being attacked by traditionally masculine authority figures. Both the Quartermaster and Shadwell are almost caricatures in their incredible narrow-mindedness and (literal) Toxic Masculinity; it’s the honey bees again, but at this point Aziraphale has had enough, and will (very politely) excuse himself and join Crowley and thus create ‘Their Own Side’.
Promethia’s thoughts from a post several weeks ago (I know I’m repeating things, but I like how this is laid out, and there is no harm in a good summary):
1) Shadwell thinks Aziraphale is a demon and tries to exorcise him.
2) He goes through a traditional hero's journey: dies, goes through the underworld, returns with a boon.
3) The boon, in this case, is of course his siding with earth/fully embracing his identity/etc. But he does it by willingly becoming that bit more like Crowley, deciding he's going to try to possess someone, saying 'demons do it.' Which is both, well, demon-y, but also shows the kind of creative thinking and willingness to transgress boundaries that is Crowley's trademark.
Well you buy me the dress,
Vidder’s Notes: ‘The general idea here I tried to convey is one of Crowley meeting Aziraphale halfway, hence the blazing Bentley (“Look, wherever you are, I'll come to you!”), and saving the book. And then, obviously I GOT YOU BLUE*.’
*This is very silly, and thus very important. It is, basically, the best and most obscure meme ever. So:
In a random comment thread, Owls remarked how the nesting fic trope reminded him of this video "I got you blue."
The following conversation ensued:
Owls: liek imagine te next thing Crowley tries after ''we can run away together'' fails repeatedly is ''i got you blue and yellow.'' surely Aziraphale can't resist that?
Promethia: *sputters*
*ahem*:
Owls: dgljggf
ima get that bitch a book. bitches love books
Promethia: It worked too. Good job, Crowley.
God I love fandom.
And so, that is what I think about EVERY TIME I see Crowley holding up the book. ‘I got you blue’. Thank you for coming to our TED Talk. We have icons, please creditowlboy:
I'll be more woman
Than a man like you can stand
Vidder’s notes: 'There was some post on Tumblr that I'm now wishing I'd thought to save that said something like you know, ‘Crowley is actually rather stable and predictable in his own way. But Aziraphale? Aziraphale seems all staid and buttoned up, but as soon as he went off his chain he just went completely feral. He might do anything! There was no predicting! And god it's true and God love him for it.’ So that's what I was looking to capture in that bit. ETA: FOUND IT. Go read.
So, this is basically Aziraphale flooring it down the highway, blasting Meredith Brook's 'Bitch' (US here, UK here) and screaming along YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY is what I'm saying.
This verse also explicitly answers two different arguments from the spoken section, with Aziraphale both giving Crowley the holy water and picking up the gun to kill Adam (aside from just the general siding-with-Crowley of it all).
I'm also quite proud of the juxtaposition of Madam Tracy tenderly taking off Shadwell's hat with the gun going off. I know the first one is actually Madam Tracy and not Aziraphale, but shhhhhhh, mirrors. Kind of a love/ferocity thing. I'M A BITCH, I'M A LOVER.
And lastly I'm rather fond of the bit when Crowley is breaking down about his car and Aziraphale tries to be like 'you need to go do what you do now!!!!' thing. But, and I think this is vital, when Crowley won't/can't, Aziraphale does step in and take over.’
I'll be your Venus on a chocolate clam shell
Crowley: “Hey. Aziraphale. I see you found a ride. Nice dress. Suits you.”
This is one of my favourite moments in the show - the casual compliment, Aziraphale/Tracy’s pleasure. And, from Owls’ meta:
‘It’s another pointed rejection of Heaven's identity erasure. He's not going to show up to the apocalypse in some drab uniform the Quartermaster hollers at him to wear. He's going to show up as a glamorous woman in a big bright coat with frilly purple gloves. Because he has standards thank you very much.’
So yeah, perfect fit for that line.
Rising on a sea of marshmallow foam
<3 No words needed, he is beautiful and perfect on his sea of marshmallow foam. (I defy you to ever watch that moment again and not have these words in your mind! You’re welcome by the way.)
And if you got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
This is probably my favourite moment in the vid, and the show. And (imho) the pivotal moment of the whole story.
From one of Owls’ comments:
‘It’s hysterically funny but also it works precisely because this IS their dynamic and IT IS THAT DYNAMIC that helps them save the world and. I keep watching the bits with Madame Tracy / the airfield because YES! That's what I'm SAYING!!! ''I'll be more woman than a man like you can stand...'' and she takes the gun oh my god!!!Crowley stopping time on ''bring it home’’!!!’
We have had the Sugar Daddy requests be sweet and pleading, but here it is angry and desperate, the music and the beat driving everything onwards, louder and higher, and this is it. They have had six thousand years of learning and growing and building a relationship with a very specific dynamic, and Aziraphale wields it like a cudgel. (Yes he’s got a sword in his hand, but that’s beside the point. He doesn’t threaten violence, he threatens their relationship.) ‘This is who we are, this is what we do, NOW DO IT!’ (I trusted you, I threw myself out of heaven, you are all I have, I believe in you, save us! Save the world!)
And so, Crowley does.
There is a whole Tumblr meta on it here, which you should read. It’s not long, but I will quote the main part (the post itself goes into the reasons in more detail, so go read):
‘At the start of the story they set out to be godfathers of the antichrist, hoping to provide enough saving and damning between them that it all cancels out. Things obviously go pear shaped, but it’s during that moment when Crowley stops time that they’re finally able to focus on the right child. Except now, instead of trying to influence Adam they accept him. Fully. Aziraphale and Crowley act as parents should by:
1. Treating Adam as an individual worthy of respect.
2. They accept who Adam is.
3. They accept whoever Adam might be in the future.
And that’s what gives Adam the strength to stand up to Satan. Before this he’s questioning himself—“I’m just a kid”—but with both of them beside him (taking his hands as a further gesture of support) he’s confident enough to not only face Satan, but change reality itself.
[…]
Their unconditional love literally helps save the world. ’
Vidder’s notes: ‘This - together with the 'it's our tradition line' immediately thereafter are summarized in my head by Owl's great line 'and then they accidentally humanity's parents.'’
So, that is all the stuff crammed into those few cuts. :)
It's our tradition to control
Vidder’s notes: ‘This is, in some ways, the most important line of the vid to me. Both the idea that humanity has taken the things that Az&C gave them and have taken control of their own destiny, but also that Az&C have said, essentially, hey, look at what humanity has done with this thing that we did for them, that came from us, why should we not be able to have that too? So, in a weird way, they are both the parents of humanity, and humanity's adopted children, learning from them in turn.’
On a more ‘surface’ level, then we have apples and flaming swords and 6000 years of human history with Original Adam and Eve, and the ‘new’ Adam and ‘new’ Eve (Pepper, obviously. She even declares herself 'a mother of unborn generations').
Like Erich Honecker and Helmut Kohl
Vidder’s notes: ‘East Berlin/Germany is Heaven and West Hell both because Aziraphale is from Heaven, so as our Hansel here, his country of origin should be the east. But I also figure that there's some level of assumed virtuousness in communism, anyway, as opposed to the decadent capitalist west.’
(FYI: Erich Honecker and Helmut Kohl are the East German and West German leaders, here obviously represented by Gabriel and Beelzebub.)
From the Ukraine to the Rhone, oh yeah
Vidder’s notes: ‘I wasn't thinking of this when I chose the clips for hell in this part--I just went for the trial because it looked good--but that's actually Aziraphale in both of them, traveling from the Ukraine to the Rhone, and choosing earth.’
Personally, I always saw the angels as American Evangelical types, and the demons as the 'heathen' Soviets, so basically the viewer can make up their own mind. :)
It’s also worth noting that it’s Aziraphale (don’t forget, he’s very intelligent, a trait specifically mentioned in the book; he is the one who pieced everything together) - sweet, cautious little Aziraphale who wouldn’t say boo to a goose back on the wall, who has spent his entire life on Earth terrified of what ‘Heaven’ will say - that Azirapahle who gets the two armies to back down. And he does so… by sowing doubt. Talk about taking your weakness and turning it into strength.
In short: You go little Fallen Angel! You go, being ‘a snarky shit-stirring little tramp who back-chats authority’ (Owls has the BEST descriptions, this one’s from the D/s meta) and you show ‘em all how it’s done. Save the world with your gay superpowers.
Sweet home uber alles,
Lord, I'm coming home
Aziraphale does not ‘saunter vaguely downwards’. Aziraphale very carefully and deliberately says ‘I have no further interest in anything Heaven can offer me, good day’ and chooses Earth (and Crowley, and the fight to save the world) instead.
As Owls’ puts it in the Big Gay Thot meta:
‘He stumbles into more vicious verbal assault from the Quartermaster for discorporating and holding up Armageddon. But nothing the Quartermaster throws at him sticks to him. He's not intimidated or defensive like with the previous two assaults. Because he's already been brutally extorted, failed to stop the war, lost his faith in the system, self eviscerated [via Shadwell], and survived it all, in a matter of hours. What can Heaven say about his failures that he doesn't already know?’
And so he turns from Heaven (and God, who wouldn’t answer) and towards Earth - because he isn’t alone. He has a friend and he has a home, and so he is not so much running away from Heaven, as running towards what he truly cares about. Being stripped of everything makes it far clearer what he does have - and so we get that beautiful montage, chronicling his time on earth, and Crowley, Crowley, Crowley everywhere, in every time and every place. You can see the realisation on his face - this is what Crowley meant when he said let’s run away together: It wasn’t the running away, it was the together part. They can be on their own side. Promethia said: ‘As I made this, the connection occurred to me of Adam telling Satan he's not his dad because he was never there. Family are the ones who were always there.’ That is essentially the same realisation that Aziraphale has in that moment:
Crowley is family and Earth is home; so that’s what Aziraphale chooses and that’s where Aziraphale goes and that’s what Aziraphale will fight for.
(and forsaking all others keep only unto him so long as you both shall live)
♥
Come on, sugar daddy, bring me home
Oh, so many things crammed into this. Above all else, it’s the response to the section above: Every other time this line comes up, it’s ‘Bring it home’ - this time it’s ‘Bring me home’. Which is addressed directly in the scenes at the bus stop - Crowley reminding Aziraphale that the bookshop burned down; but - he can stay at Crowley’s. The Sugar Daddy is literally bringing Aziraphale [to his] home. This is what love does - it makes you leave the past behind and choose a new home, trusting the person who is now the centre of your world to take care of you. It’s faith.
A run-down of all the different clips:
- Getting on the bus and sitting down together (in a mirror/contrast to the start when they were apart - told you it was important!)
- All the other characters mirrors; Madam Tracy providing a (shared) home to Shadwell (they all get cottages in the countryside!!!), being just herself without any artifice.
- Anathema and Newt burning the new prophecies, followed by Aziraphale in the fire; paralleling Anathema throwing off the control of Agnes with Aziraphale throwing off the control of heaven.
- I love love love the shot of Crowley-as-Aziraphale in the fire. The smugness that just radiates ‘Fuck you’. And because it’s actually Crowley, it’s everything squared. It’s Aziraphale’s ‘message’, so to speak, but it’s also Crowley’s own chance to tell the angels to get lost. He may not have meant to fall, but by now nothing could ever tempt him back, and having a chance to say this to their faces is clearly delicious beyond words. Plus, I also see a hefty dose of ‘The angel is MINE now. And don’t you ever forget it.’ It’s a six thousand year long love story, and finally our star crossed lovers get their happy ending. Damn straight they’ll tell those who stood in their way to get lost. With fire.
- There is also the point of this being ‘Aziraphale as Crowley sees him’: Polite to a fault. Quiet. Kind. Honourable to the end, no matter the cost to himself (they ordered him to step into the fire and self-destruction, sure he would obey). And… with surprise fire in his belly. (‘Enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.’)
- The deep bond between our demon and our angel, literally swapping bodies, and then…
We are back to that first moment, with Crowley stepping under Aziraphale’s wing, which Promethia subtitled 'come home' in her head. A moment echoed in the open piano in the Ritz, and it’s the whole story in two images.
And finally Crowley turns out the lights. Thank you and good night.
It's A Cold And It's A Broken Hallelujah
Queer lens as default: Crowley (and Heaven and hell)
So, originally this was where I tacked on my Crowley meta that had been quietly brewing in the back of my mind, a sort of bonus extra. Except thenpurplefringe went and posted a vid that was like… this meta, in vid form. Please go watch:
Hallelujah
Apart from the fact that I wrote most of this before she posted her vid, it could be a commentary on it (well, the Crowley parts of it), and I have shamelessly stolen the song lyrics for my headings. This essay delves into the same issues, just with written meta rather than gut-wrenching poetry.
And THEN Owls posted meta on the historical significance of the Crowley/Aziraphale meetings, which I can also link to:
The (gay) history of the world through Good Omens: Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship seems to progress in almost lock-step parallel to attitudes about homosexuality throughout history.
Above, we have tracked Aziraphale’s development in great detail, his self-acceptance and his choices. But how does that sit within the wider ‘verse? And where does Crowley fit in? We know Crowley fell a long long time ago, and he is, essentially, Aziraphale’s guide, the old hand who’s been through the mill and is battling demons of his own.
But before we get to Crowley we need to set the world in order - how does this ‘verse function and what is trying to do?
World Building
Good Omens is a world with angels and demons, Heaven and hell, a literal Garden of Eden, and a God who narrates. But, although it uses a lot of Christian imagery and Biblical events (much like J. K. Rowling’s Dementors draw heavily on Tolkien’s Ring Wraiths), it does not follow Christian theology - it is a fairy tale.
Allow me to explain…
Let’s talk about Ineffable Plans. In Christian Theology the Ineffable Plan is summed up in John 3.16. Jesus was executed because he claimed to be God, and the Resurrection was THE victory. A victory borne out of submission and love, something unexpected and that people still have problems with. And the point of it was to save people. (I could go on, but I’m not going to. Grab John’s gospel for further insights.)
But in Good Omens Jesus’ death comes about (according to our POV characters, which is what matters) because he told people to be kind to each other. Crowley, cynically, remarks “Yeah, that’d do it.”
Ergo we are in a fairy tale, but one using a lot of Christian symbols. Which might be because of ease (the connotations are all built in), but also maybe because it wants to say something about Christianity and/or religion. And we certainly have plenty of fodder in the angels’/Heaven’s behaviour. But the book scene where Aziraphale possesses a TV evangelist did not make it cut to the screen (it was in the original script however), so the point is not to criticise religion generally, or tackling it in the ways we are used to.
(Sidebar: In the book, Heaven and hell are fairly obvious metaphors for the two sides in the Cold War, something that’s fallen by the wayside pretty much completely in the TV show, what with the different world we now live in. Pollution, sadly, is still as relevant as ever, although Pestilence is having somewhat of a comeback with all the anti-vaxxers. *sigh*)
So, what I propose is that this is a queer fairy tale. Fundamentally so. Go read Owls’ historical meta that I linked to above, and remember, this is the show where God is female, and Adam and Eve are black and Neil has stated that everything is meant. Including, presumably, the (queer) dates and times and places that our main characters meet and interact. So, speaking of Ineffable Plans, I propose that within Good Omens, God’s [i.e. the authors’] Ineffable Plan is to give our two little queer love birds a happy ending. And they have to journey through the whole of human history, and they have to deal with all kinds of crap - which I shall be laying out below, in detail - but the whole thing, the apocalypse, the entire gallery of heroes and villains and chattering nuns and witches and witch finders and the four horsemen and all the rest, are there for the sake of our angel and our demon, to throw a light on the absolute incredible mountain of pain and obstacles queer people have [had] to endure just to carve themselves a place in the world. And of course God doesn’t talk to them, she (they) just narrate(s).
Ergo: queer fairy tale, QED. ☺
This feat is an extraordinary thing in and of itself. However, you should also see this short post on why it is so important.
(Please note, other interpretations and lenses are available. We all see different things, and this reading does not cancel out any others.)
Now (almost magically) when we look at it through a queer lens, everything suddenly lines up beautifully.
I don’t really need to talk about Aziraphale, since his journey is so beautifully laid out by Owls [Big Gay Thot meta]. The important part for this meta, is how Heaven stands in for that particular bigoted aspect of religion - the one where it’s more important to fight ‘evil’ (i.e. anything that doesn’t fit within very carefully curated parameters) than to actually do good and love thy neighbour or, you know, follow any of Jesus’ actual teachings (remember, Jesus hung out with the most appalling people - sinners and tax collectors and dancing girls and poor fishermen, not Respectable People™). Here it is used in the context of homophobia, but the pattern is the same whatever flavour of bigotry you subscribe to - step outside the boundaries, question authority, disobey your orders, and you’re thrown out. It’s a very real power, and one that maims countless lives, forcing people to choose between being true to themselves, or losing their home/family/community. We see Aziraphale struggling with this throughout the whole timespan of Earth’s history, and he has to lose everything before finally realising that actually, he has a different home, and a different family.
Which brings us to Crowley.
Hey, this is Anthony Crowley. You know what to do. Do it with style.
Well baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
So, when I was trying to figure it all out, hell was a bit of a headache. Because hell is genuinely horrible and full of evil things - basically it tracks, theologically, the way the rest of the ‘verse doesn’t. Hastur & Ligur’s ‘Tempation of the Day’ at the beginning could have come straight out of C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters. And yet Crowley… isn’t that. He sauntered vaguely downwards, hung out with the wrong people, but he isn’t evil in that sense. So how did he fit?
Except once I looked through the queer lens (or rather, removed the default hetero-normative one, ugh, it sticks to everything) it all made perfect sense.
Hell is hell. Hell is full of terrible things. But when ‘Heaven’ draws everything in binary, then anything that isn’t perfectly ‘white’ might as well be black. And thus, Crowley ‘fell’ — it’s not that he is ‘evil’ (in the sense of Hastur or Beelzebub), it’s that he wasn’t willing to follow Heaven’s restrictive rules and was thus cast out as ‘other’.
In queer [metaphor] terms though, what does this mean? It means that Crowley is the guy who was ‘outed’ a long, long, long time ago. Before anything was legal, before the very idea that gay people might ever be accepted. Being ‘homosexual’ (or anything apart from straight and cis) was defacto bad, sinful, and meant that you were damned. You were going to hell, no question about it.
Owls’ aside: ‘Crowley waltzed out of that closet in 3 inch Louboutin stilettos.’ (Yes, you can take a moment to just sit with that mental image - I’m definitely dragging the Sugar Daddy into this, cause queer show; it is glorious and defiant and fabulous, darling.)
So Crowley did what many such people did and said ‘Fuck you!’ to his former home and embraced being his own, flamboyant, rebellious, oft-gender-blurring ‘bad’ self. And caused trouble as best he knew.
Sidebar: Crowley is very good at his job. The M25 *is* a stroke of genius, and when you next watch the scene where Aziraphale and he get drunk after he’s delivered the Antichrist, please note how expertly he gets Aziraphale to agree to his proposition of influencing the child. It’s masterful and shows how very very good he is at tempting.
But he also knows the price of standing out (see him cautioning Aziraphale for walking into a revolution with a big target on his chest) and takes Aziraphale under his wing (yes, I know), but at the same time is also unable to stop himself tempting his angel and questioning ‘the party line’ any chance he gets.
Crowley: You’re so clever. How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?
However, he doesn’t like hell. And ‘never really gave up on/Breakin' out of this two-star town’.
Sidebar: Interesting meta on Crowley and hell here.
He isn’t really meant to be there, it’s just that there were no other options. (And in many places, there still isn’t.)
Well, maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
What all this means is that Crowley is the walking wounded. There is a lot of Tumblr meta about how his plants are his [possibly subconscious] attempt at re-creating a Garden of Eden of his own, and that he treats them the way he himself was treated - harsh and unforgiving, for faults they cannot help. (Tumblr post 1 / Tumblr post 2)
“GROW BETTER!” he yells, because that’s what life has taught him (And, just to break your heart even more). One tiny blemish, one ‘fault’ (that you can’t help) and that’s it, you’re out.
I shall here quote something from the second Tumblr post:
‘imagine how Crowley feels when Aziraphale comes into his flat and looks at hisobjects of self-externalization plants and loves them and coos over them and praises them and gives Crowley a stern look and says he shouldn’t be so mean to the poor things, they’re doing their best
imagine how that feels, imagine how it feels to have someone take the punching bag you’ve taped your own face to, and instead they hug it, how fucking gobsmacked would you be about that’
So Crowley’s story is about learning to be loved (and here is why, despite everything, he might be terrified of that) and for someone to believe in him.
In the bandstand scene Aziraphale keeps throwing his demon status in his face, and Crowley tries to cut through - he tries so hard - but he keeps getting shot down. Aziraphale still believes that somehow he can talk sense into Heaven, but Crowley knows better; the pointedly pious and still hopeful versus the old and disillusioned - because Crowley knows exactly how likely they are to listen. So he tries a different tack, because what he wants is to keep Aziraphale safe, and knows that nobody else cares about this.
Hence ‘We’re on our own side’, but Aziraphale isn’t ready for that yet. And Crowley’s weary resignation when Aziraphale ‘breaks up’ is heartbreaking. This is what happens if you put your faith in others - they let you down.
Aziraphale - very successful at research and piecing together information - tries and fails and blunders around when it comes to attempting to sway Heaven.
Crowley is far more practical once he realises they have been discovered. When his second attempt at talking Aziraphale into running away fails (and this time he’s desperate, because he knows what they do to ‘people like them’, he’s lived it) he defaults to the plans he started making more than a century ago. Using the Holy Water is brutal, ‘But all I've ever learned from love/Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya’. He expects no mercy, so gives none. (Sidebar: Trapping Hastur in the answer machine is yet another stroke of Crowley-genius. I love it.)
And then he goes to find his angel, who has in the meantime had a few harsh truths pointed out so bluntly that he can no longer ignore them (“Don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses can get you special treatment in hell” - and of course the Megatron being dully disinterested), and has reached back out to Crowley - and Crowley arrives to the bookshop burning (they’ll both lose their ‘homes’ on Earth to fire) and Aziraphale is gone.
And at this point Crowley just gives up.
Crowley: “There aren’t any right people. There’s just God. Moving in mysterious ways and NOT TALKING TO ANY OF US.”
Because he has lost the one person he cared about, and there’s no point running away all on his own. For him, the Apocalypse has already happened. I think he loves the world - we even see him pleading with God before this, but I think there is also a lot self-identification going on:
Crowley: “I only ever asked questions. That’s all it took to be a demon in the old days. Great Plan? Hey! God! Are you listening? Show me a Great Plan! Okay, I know you’re testing them, you said you were going to test them. But you shouldn’t test them to destruction… Not to the end of the world.”
And the unspoken message that lies below: Not like you did to me.
The world is messy and complicated and asks questions and is a place where Crowley feels at home. And it is full of things that Crowley likes. Like fancy clothes and Bentleys and sunglasses and… Aziraphale.
Aziraphale is an intrinsic part of the world for Crowley. He has loved the world with Aziraphale, from the beginning. It’s been a joint effort. They’ve balanced each other out, understood each other, and now… what is the world without his angel? What is he?
Except of course his angel returns, and Crowley’s whole world almost keels over, before snapping back into focus. Because what Aziraphale says, in not so many words, is ‘We’re on our own side’. And it’s all Crowley has ever wanted or needed.
So he will drive his Bentley to destruction, through fire - his own fire, and I think there is a very nice metaphor in there about having to be purified and going through the pain he has thoughtlessly created for others (because that’s what pain tends to do, we pass it on) - in order to ‘earn’ a place at his angel’s side (can everyone say Ineffable Plan?). And a) we get it specifically pointed out that he has an imagination (to further mark him as different to the other demons) and b) he loses the Bentley, just like Aziraphale has lost the bookshop.
And now we get to where everything overlaps with what’s above. As I said, they have spent centuries working together, often with Aziraphale getting into trouble and Crowley having to rescue him (sometimes genuine danger, sometimes it seems like Aziraphale does it on purpose because he likes to be rescued).
What it does is cast Crowley - the demon, the bad guy, the tempter, the Fallen, as… the hero. The Rescuer. The white knight. The saviour.
And it’s been a game (in any way you care to read it), but now Aziraphale pushes it to breaking point. And believes in Crowley. It’s the end of the world, and he hands it all to Crowley, saying: “Come up with something.”
And then Crowley came up with something
The fate of the world in the hands of a demon.
Crowley has spent his entire life since the Fall being told that he’s evil and untrustworthy, even by Aziraphale, casually, constantly (Crowley: “Would I lie to you?”/Aziraphale: “Of course, you are a demon”), and now his angel puts his entire faith in Crowley’s ability to care and improvise, essentially trusting a demon’s love to save the day.
It’s exquisite. And world changing. Quite literally, for Crowley.
And this is where I thought I might be able to leave off the Buffy parallels, but… the line that reminds me of Crowley more than any other, is Spike’s: “I’m not good, but I’m OK”.
Spike - the demon who defied his nature and decides to fight on the side of good, for the sake of love…
Except Good Omens is a very different show, with very different metaphors and very different stories. Crowley’s journey isn’t about fighting to become ‘a better man’ - it’s about learning that he’s more than just ‘a demon’, that he is worth saving and being cared about just the way he is. That he can have dreams and watch them come true, that he can be in a relationship and be happy as he is. That he can be the protector and carer like he always wanted, that this can be his defining role, that love doesn’t mean rejection, but acceptance. (See alllll the fic about how he hides his eyes and how Aziraphale declares that he loves them.)
That the Hallelujah can be un-broken, and sung with joy. As a duet.
No wonder he goes through fire three times for his angel. And that final time they trust each other with their bodies, in a way no one thought possible:
Aziraphale: “Pity I can’t inhabit [your body]. But angel, demon… We’d probably explode.”
Because as stated above, Aziraphale isn’t thrown out of Heaven. And doesn’t want to run away to Alpha Centauri under cover of darkness. Aziraphale chooses Crowley. He very carefully and deliberately says: ‘You matter to me more than anything else.’ Imagine what that does to someone who has spent their whole life being told they are unworthy [of love, of consideration, of trust].
Owls: ‘Crowley is perfectly comfortable loving himself, but that is survival instinct in response to being universally rejected, to be loved by someone else is a different thing entirely.’ (And Tumblr grasped that instinctively)
To bring it all back to RL, it all reminded me of this story from the Marriage Equality referendum in Ireland:
What Aziraphale gives Crowley is something new. The idea that he doesn’t have to be alone. That there is a third option, that they can be on their own side - not in a reflex rejection of the other options, and not by running away, but in creating their own thing. Make a space that wasn’t there before.
Sure they have to overcome the combined forces of Heaven and hell to get there, to break free and claim their freedom and be able to just live.
But that simple thing is worth more than words can say.
~~~
So yeah, I’m just going to go away and have a lot of FEELINGS. If you want fic (that will rip your heart out, and put it back together), then:
it's the light (it's the obstacle that casts it
Summary: The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho.
(Set in Soho in the 50s with everything that implies. And casting light on why our heroes might be cautious of touching each other.)
On The Matter Of Touch
Summary: For two ineffable husbands, they don't really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.
(The ending of this damn near killed me - as per the quote above. But then, if something as simple as holding hands in public can get you attacked, how deep must the fear of touch run?)
But the final image I want to leave you with is this gem from Tumblr/Facebook, which is too perfect for words, and somehow sums up everything.
THIS IS THE SHOW
And it is GAY and glorious and dramatic and sweet and funny and heartbreaking - in short, the soft queer fairy tale we need and deserve.
So, finally a Good Omens meta café, but not my usual style. (It has taken me best part of a week to write this and it's 10k+ words.) It's also the gayest thing I have ever posted, by quite some distance. (With many thanks to Owls for queer picking <3)
Since I was lucky enough to beta/cheerlead as this vid was created, I thought I’d write up what it all meant (much to Promethia's delight). So this is, essentially, a look inside our brains (Owls', Promethia's and mine) by going through the vid (almost) clip by clip. I have skipped some of the filler stuff, but everything important gets addressed. So if you are interested in what it’s saying, and why, and looking at what’s going on below the surface, this is the post for you! With insights into the vidder’s thoughts, much, MUCH meta (on... everything, the vid just provides the structure), and a great deal of self-indulgent asides by yours truly. I mean, the vid is self-indulgent, so the Notes should be too. It only follows logically.
Plus there is an additional bit of meta end, dealing with Crowley, Heaven & hell, and (serendipitously) tying in to another vid. ☺ Warning: If you are not an emotional wreck by the end, I have failed.
Vid: Bring it Home (Sugar Daddy) by promethia_tenk
Fandom: Good Omens, Aziraphale, Aziraphale/Crowley
Music: ‘Sugar Daddy,’ from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, as sung by that other gay angel, Neil Patrick Harris
Warnings: It’s a Good Omens vid to ‘Sugar Daddy’ from Hedwig and the Angry Inch . . . YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (i.e. this is... NSFW/not suitable for children!)
Summary: “I suddenly recognized the flavor in my mouth: it's the taste of power.”
GO WATCH, follow links, and then come back to me.
Also: Hallelujah by
purplefringe. summary: there's a blaze of light in every word / it doesn't matter which you heard / the holy or the broken hallelujah. On faith, and falling, and freedom. (Re-posted on youtube here.)(Do I need to warn for Spoilers? DO NOT read until you've watched the show. This is tv series canon, not book.)
Also on AO3
Before we start, these are Owls’ meta posts that I will reference. Links here for ease (rather than linking every time) and also for basic explanations:
Aziraphale is a Big Gay Thot - this essay lays out how Aziraphale’s arc over the show is a Coming Out Story, grasping his own identity and leaving heaven behind
Mirrors in Good Omens - an essay on how all the characters are mirrors of each other, something the vid uses to great effect by using stand-ins to highlight points
The D/s meta - vital meta on the dynamics of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship and how it maps onto d/s patterns and behaviours
Follow me down into the rabbit hole… (there are metaphors all the way down!)
Intro
Vidder’s notes: ‘Crowley sauntering with his back to the camera. I wanted to establish very quickly that, while Crowley is the titular character here, we are looking at him and not in his POV.’
Please note the ‘Striptease’ sign in the 1960’s clip and then the angel and demon statue (explanation). Also how the vid starts on the beat when Crowley turns, facing the camera (and sits down behind Aziraphale).
Vidder’s notes: ‘I liked the predatory feel of this moment, especially together with the shot of him circling up behind Az as a snake earlier. Also the manbun look, as the hottest of all Crowley looks, was a mandatory inclusion.’
It’s also important that they are making a show of meeting in secret, covertly, like the government agents in the park whom they also emulate. Or indeed the gay men - St James was a famous cruising spot (with thanks to Owls for the information). We’ll come back to this.
I've got a sweet tooth
For liquorice drops and jelly roll
Cakes and sweets! Quite straightforward, although we get out first clip of ‘Other characters as representatives/aspects of our main characters’ in Shadwell pouring (sweetened!) condensed milk. His favoring that with nine sugars on top of it was amusing, and perfectly fitting with the ‘sweet tooth’ theme. Also I love the shot of Aziraphale with the sushi, he looks like an anime character. (ETA: Speaking of sushi.) And the clip of Aziraphale getting hit with the cake is just… well, filthy, really.
Hey, sugar daddy
Crowley certainly looks the part of lothario, and the Bastille shots were deliberately paired with Rome, that being the first time that Aziraphale approaches Crowley and seeks time with him.
Hansel needs some sugar in his bowl
Words sort of fail me here. Like, hot damn, look at lil innocent Aziraphale just *owning* this? That look! And the dainty little dabbing of his mouth with the napkin. So precise. So neat. So absolutely knowing what he’s doing. This is where the ‘transformative’ in Transformative Work comes into play. Marrying the shot and the lyrics creates something new, imbues the original with a different meaning. This shot with that lyric and… filth! It’s like magic. (That is not to say that all of this is conjecture. A lot of it is digging into actual themes and layers. Some parts however, as stated before, are just filth. *g*)
Vidder’s notes: ‘More Crowley being slutty’.
I think we can all agree that Promethia succeed exceptionally well in choosing a good clip. And pairing it with Aziraphale’s ‘Oooh, would you look at that’ reaction is just inspired. (Also, having done a complete survey, Promethia can confirm for the viewer that the bench-sitting shot is the sluttiest of all bench-sitting shots in this thing.)
I'll lay out fine China on the linen
And polish up the chrome
Again with Madam Tracy & Shadwell as inserts, although the absolute stroke of genius was using the shot of Mrs Beeton’s, thus giving the book which was used as a joke when referred to as ‘pornography’ an actual dirty connotation. (Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management was the 1800s version of being a Good Housewife, for those not familiar. I own a copy, it’s still a thing. And yes, it is that enormous.)
Vidder’s notes: ‘Ask me how much nesting fic I've read in the last month. All of it. All. Of. It. The idea of the bookshop as a nest to which Crowley should be brought home was very present in my mind for this. Also this was the nesting fic OP's original thought: ‘oh, the bookshop is a nest!’ And while I appreciate the many variations on nesting ideas I've read, I still think this one is by far the most effective. This description, in particular, has stuck with me:
‘Aziraphale is nesting, but on purpose. Crowley is blithely unaware. Aziraphale is generally fine with this, he’ll get the picture eventually. Aziraphale meanwhile continues perfecting the bookshop-nest slowly and methodically over decades, filling it with soft warm things and many alcohols. He appreciates that it is fundamentally an Effective Nest, because look how often Crowley comes over uninvited and flops on his couches and drinks his wine’
^^^ so that is very much the interpretation I am going for here.
Also, those were the lines Owls quoted to me when he first brought up the song, and my brain just went 'oohhhhhh, yes, that works’’
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
And then the Sugar Daddy steps up.
This is one of the central pieces of Owl’s D/s meta, but alas it is too much to quote, so I have only picked out a few lines, because the specific turns of phrase are, well, important. He refers to the Reign of Terror scenes as ‘Aziraphale’s Power Bottom Awakening’:
‘Peak Bitch Aziraphale is best Aziraphale, because at some point between secret gay rendezvous and now he's just decided to be, like, a flaming queer.
And the prissy aristocrat image is entirely appropriate, because he has power now, and he knows it, and he adores it. He's a spoiled little princess and he's just reveling in it.
He deliberately pushes Crowley's buttons, enough to launch him out of casually lounging in the windowsill. [...] Like, he's so assuredly safe around Crowley, in fact spoiled rotten and catered to by him, that being snarled at is just foreplay, right? [...] And it's Crowley who breaks the chains, because Crowley is kind of responsible for his Power Bottom Awakening, and also hasn't been entirely respectful of his agency until this point, yes?’
And then they set off for crepes (or the Ritz, in this instance), where there is Crowley neck-stroking. (And they show this to children!)
[Instrumental]
A fun detail from the book: The car has been clamped (which Crowley of course miracles away), but as they drive off the traffic warden’s notebook spontaneously combusts - to Crowley’s amazement.
‘I’m pretty certain I didn’t mean to do that,’ he said.
Aziraphale blushed.
‘That was me,’ he said. ‘I had always thought that your people invented them.’
‘Did you? We thought they were yours.’
Crowley stared at the smoke in the rear-view mirror.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Let’s do the Ritz.’
Crowley had not bothered to book. In his world, table reservations were things that happened to other people.
So there, in that tiny little scene, we have the two of them working together perfectly, without even realising. And this is the scene that leads up to the Ritz scene above, so it all fits together.
Blackstrap molasses
You're my orange blossom honey bear
See this is Aziraphale talking *to* Crowley, and I think that final look just about makes the shots get away with it, what with ‘orange blossom honey bear’ really being a rather accurate description of Aziraphale himself. Blackstrap molasses is very Crowley though.
Vidder’s notes: ‘The two clips are both instances of him telling Crowley he is a nice person--once successfully, once not so much. Or, well . . . successfully to a different goal ;)’
(Sugar daddy, sugar daddy)
Um, it’s possible I’m supposed to be having thoughts at this point, but (as Promethia put it) ‘it just feels sinful in the most luxurious way’. This is a vid in which we are actively encouraged to appreciate how hot Crowley is, and it also highlights just how much he plays to that and how much he enjoys the performance.
Vidder’s notes: ‘The real reason I gave these clips such a prominent place--beyond the obvious visual appeal--is that, as the entire internet has noted, this is Aziraphale playing Crowley, and thus this is Crowley as Aziraphale sees him. Which is . . . rather a confirmation of the thesis here.’
Bring me Versace blue jeans
This is just terribly cute, but also calls attention to how fussy Aziraphale is with his appearance. It’s all carefully tailored. (‘I have standards!’)
Black designer underwear
And here we have Crowley describing said underwear - tracing an Aziraphale shape.
Vidder’s notes: ‘Now, I'm not sure if the underwear being described here are meant for Az to wear or for Crowley to wear for Aziraphale, but as the reveal shot is of Aziraphale playing Crowley, I guess we can have our cake and eat it too.’
And then we have Aziraphale reacting to this description (oh the way his eyes light up, it’s quite indecent) and then…
(Sugar daddy, sugar daddy)
A look at the underwear, as modelled by Crowley, being indecently gorgeous. (It’s OK to appreciate how slutty David Tennant looks, his wife gave us permission!)
We'll dress up like the disco dancing
Jet set in Milan and Rome
Clips are pretty much self--explanatory I think.
Vidder’s notes: ‘I like the parallels I made here. The song doesn't frequently set them in the same roles. It's not necessarily antagonistic, but it is notable that here they are the same, as they are in the last verse.’
Note from an AO3 comment, which was brilliantly insightful: ‘Also on the subject of motion, I love the way Crowley dropping the mask on his armor mirrors the downward motion of Aziraphale's hand as he changes out of his aristocratic getup in prison. It's not just visually appealing, but also really effective at driving home exactly what Aziraphale is doing with that clothing change: protecting himself.’
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
Azirpahale sending Crowley coy, but meaningful looks.
Vidder’s notes: ‘One of my minor delights in this vid was using Aziraphale's more adorably innocent moments (little waves and such) as indecently as possible. Thus his little 'temptation accomplished' wiggle to suggest something far more lascivious than lunch.’
Leading to The Nose Scrunch. Oh he just owns it. He’ll bring it home alright.
Vidder’s notes: ‘Re: the shot of them getting off the bench immediately thereafter. I didn't put it in as a crotch shot, really. But it stayed in as a crotch shot.’
Oh, the thrill of control
Like the rush of rock and roll
It’s the sweetest taste I've known, oh yeah
This is basically THE key moment of the whole vid. To pull out the Hedwig quote which is also the summary of the vid:
“I suddenly recognized the flavor in my mouth: it's the taste of power.”
It was a line that popped into Owl’s head the first time he saw the scene, and it’s absolutely perfect. Or to quote the D/s meta:
‘But Aziraphale discovers he can do this [look at Crowley just so]
And fucking nuke Crowley from orbit.
And he loves it.’
It’s Aziraphale learning to use his power, to play their game (‘the arrangement’) rather than just being played. (More on this later.)
Vidder’s notes: ‘I included the 'buck up Hamlet' moment for a little visual variety and movement, for Aziraphale's obvious delight, but also for the fact that Crowley is just staring at him again, entranced.’
Vidder’s notes: ‘Despite Aziraphale's distaste for bebop and fast driving, I figure you don't hang around someone like Crowley if you don't, deep down, have a craving for experience. [And] I sprinkled the car throughout this as filler, since it works as such an obvious extension of Crowley's general low-slung, rock’n’roll slinkiness.’
So come on, sugar daddy,
Vidder’s notes: ‘I never really got a chance to include the drinking scene in here in the way I would have liked to, because I love the coziness of them hanging around the bookshop and, again, so much nesting fic. But this moment of Aziraphale inviting him in is my little homage to the idea.’
bring it home
Again with the stand-ins, this time Anathema and Newt, the kiss heralding the moment they give in and just go for it. This vid is… occasionally very blunt in its metaphors.
[Musical interlude]
The main part of this (with Anathema and the bike) is there because (as per Promethia’s notes) ‘it’s one of the few times when Aziraphale fully takes control of what's going on, and Crowley just tags along, protesting weakly. In particular the cheek of putting the bike rack on Crowley's car, tartan-patterned and everything! I love the way he just uses tartan like a stamp: mine, mine, mine…’
I love it all to distraction, especially the last bit when Anathema turns and Aziraphale is just standing there, beaming, like 'Damn right, I am just that brilliant!' Like a tiny little triumphant angelic king, surveying his kingdom and his work and the effect it is having. ♥
Sidebar: The tartan was developed especially for the character, and is called ’Heaven’s Dress Tartan’.
When honey bees
Vidder’s notes: ‘Something about the drone-like nature of the angels, the geometric regularity of heaven, the way they swarm, the way they sting, made this feel very appropriate. I imagine they see humanity somewhat the way that bees see flowers: something to be cultivated and used for the good of the hive.’
go shopping
They literally went shopping!
It's something to be seen
Vidder’s notes: ‘I am eternally haunted by Sandalphon's smile. In it went.’
(Sugar daddy, lick your daddy)
So, the juxtaposition of these clips was very deliberate, showing the contrast between how Aziraphale is being treated by Heaven and by his demon. The angels are threatening, authoritative, monitoring. Crowley is so soft that all he needs is a pleading look from Aziraphale and he miracles the stain away.
They swarm to wild flowers
Aziraphale is the cutest wild flower, poor thing.
And get nectar for the queen
Vidder’s notes: ‘I put a double meaning in here, that plays on the wall slam. From the angels’ perspective, they are 'collecting' for their queen ie: God. But then The Queen is obviously also Aziraphale, who is not enjoying this nectar one bit, thank you. (But he sure will in about two lines.)’
(Sugar daddy, lick your daddy)
Vidder’s notes: ‘This is probably the shot that convinced me this had to be made. Mr. Tennant, your face.’
And every gift you bring me
Gets me dripping like a honeycomb
If you've got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
And, um, we’re back to the filth… But, filth with meaning! We have just seen Aziraphale thrown up against a wall by the angels, and how scared he was. Compare and contrast with what happens when Crowley does it - to quote Owls again:
‘Because when you throw a sub around [according to their own wants / parameters] they relax, because they know they're actually safe, and it's the exact reaction they're looking for.
And Aziraphale just stands there and adjusts his coat like he's not in any way upset or indignant he was physically manhandled into a wall and snarled at.
AND GOES RIGHT BACK TO SHIT-STIRRING!!!’
That little sideways glance that goes with ‘luck of the devil’.
So yeah, it *is* ‘filthy’, because this is how they interact (and the lyrics are… well, adding things), but it’s also Aziraphale deliberately provoking a reaction and getting exactly what he wants, so it is quite literally Sugar Daddy doing what he asks of him. Hence why this song is so very very perfect. Also many many bonus points for the quick shot of Shadwell with the pink whip. Yes, this is as naughty as you want it to be.
(Vidder’s aside: I like how Madam Tracy's flat has a whole menagerie of stuffed animals fit for an arc--including the unicorn!--in contrast to Crowley's recreated garden.)
Vidder’s notes: ‘I like the juxtaposition in these scenes in the show of the paint removal scene and the wall slam scene. I think they inform each other perfectly. Thus I was careful to keep them together here.’
It’s a dichotomy to keep in mind: Both the paint removal and the wall slamming is who they are, and part of how they operate. They are not (as some would think) mutually exclusive, but two aspects of a single dynamic.
Owl’s notes: ‘Provoking him is as deliberate and calculated as the puppy-dog-eyes pleading. They are both, essentially, rituals that allow them to express physical affection with each other when they can't articulate love to each other. The way Crowley leans over Azira's shoulder and makes a show of it when he could just snap his fingers? The way Azira is so completely unafraid and relaxed a random bystander assumes it's an intimate moment? Both imply tenderness.’
[Music]
Vidder’s notes: ‘Minor style note, but I really like the sped up aesthetic of the car shot leading into this, the old-timey side wipe transition into Aziraphale playing a WWII spy. It all feels very of a piece in a campy old movie sort of way.’
Oh, the thrill of control
Vidder’s notes: ‘I was not originally intending to put Shadwell in here with the witchfinder gun, but I needed to fill a beat and it served perfectly to highlight the idea of getting to wield power. And then it'll tie into the shot of him with Madam Tracy at the end of the verse.’
Like the Blitzkrieg on the roll
Is the sweetest taste I've known,
Vidder’s notes: ‘Obviously, the chance to use the Blitzkrieg literally could not be ignored. And Aziraphale is once again trying to tell Crowley he's been nice.’
oh yeah
The moment when Crowley arrives in the church and Aziraphale realizes he's not alone in this. And as far as we know, they have not spoken to, or seen each other, since 1862 and their ‘break-up’. And yet, here Crowley is, having his back and helping, and it reminds me of something
the_royal_anna once wrote about Buffy & Spike:‘And these two come back to each other, again and again and again, not because it is their destiny but because it is their duty. They share enough history to owe it to each other to be there for each other.’
That kind of relationship is my favourite kind by far, so this hits me in many wonderful ways.
So if you've got some sugar bring it home,
One of the important parts of this (throughout) is how shared the control is. As Owls puts it, wrt Azirapahle:
‘And he swaggers in there with all the confidence in the world and laughs at [the Nazis].’
As it happened he was played, and Crowley comes to his rescue (by risking his own life!), but then asks Aziraphale to rescue them both, by saving them from the bomb. And then Crowley in turn has saved the books… They’re a team. Also note that almost all the shots feature the bird/angel statue in the background.
(oh yeah)
The framing of this moment is PURE GOLD.
Vidder’s notes: ‘Can I just take a moment to appreciate the pure campy luxuriousness of the way NPH sings this? I knew I had to find a way to do it justice.’
Come on, sugar daddy, bring it home
HE LITERALLY BROUGHT THE STATUE HOME
Vidder’s notes: ‘As with Newt and Anathema in the previous verse, Shadwell and Madam Tracy are providing us the resolution we're looking for by proxy. In this case the first shot comes after Shadwell declares anyone wanting to get to the "Whore of Babylon" will have to go through him, at which Madam Tracy positively melts and clings to him. For all that Madam Tracy has obviously been game from before the show even started, this is the moment, I think, that they become A Thing. The parallel to Az in the church seemed appropriate. And then it's Madam Tracy inviting Shadwell back to her 'den of iniquity' at the end. Meanwhile, Crowley's den of iniquity has some new art. I also like the parallel here of her nodding to Shadwell with Aziraphale nodding to Crowley on the bench at the end of the vid. (I've slightly misappropriated that moment, but shhhhhhh, it does the job.)’
Whiskey and French cigarettes
A motorbike with high-speed jets
A Waterpik, a Cuisinart
And a hypo-allergenic dog
Oh, I want all the luxuries of the modern age
Every item on every page
In the Lillian Vernon catalogue
And now we get to The Apocalypse and the prophecies and our gallery of rogues. So we have Agnes Nutter, ‘three shall ride as two’, the Four Horsemen, the Hellhound and so on, whilst also trying to match the lyrics, often causing very amusing connections (‘a Cuisinart’ becomes War (Vidders notes: ‘Here I was specifically thinking about swirling blades’) and the ‘hypo-allergenic dog’ becomes the Hellhound becomes Dog). Also Aziraphale reading the prophecies and piecing everything together; the delivery of the Anti-Christ and using the intro to sort of summarise all the things happening. Of course the prophecies themselves are ‘the Lillian Vernon catalogue’ (from which you can get all the things listed) and that final shot of Newt is a moment of realisation of how Yes it’s all true! Made even funnier by this bit from the book:
Anathema, fully dressed, walked over to her card index, pulled one out, and passed it to him.
Newt read it and blushed and gave it back, tight-lipped.
It wasn’t simply the fact that Agnes had known, and had expressed herself in the most transparent of codes. It was that, down the ages, various Devices had scrawled encouraging little comments in the margin.
Vidder’s note: ‘I also enjoy the underlying suggestion (from Newt's face) that Lillian Vernon is a catalogue of various sexual acts.’
[spoken]
Luther: Oh baby, somethin’ crossed my mind
I was thinking you’d look so fine
In a velvet dress
With heels and an ermine stole
The Arrangement or rather, most the instances of Crowley trying to get Aziraphale to do something he doesn’t want to do/is uncomfortable with. I am amazed every time I watch how well the words have been matched with the scenes, it even looks like Crowley is speaking. However, the main part is the Hamlet scene and Aziraphale’s reaction, which Owls describes thus:
‘This whole scene reads a bit sleazy tbh, someone being pressured into sexual favours, and Aziraphale has this face, like a Vicar's daughter who knows she's brought shame to the family name.’
Go read the D/s meta for more insight. But the sequence is there to show Crowley trying to get Aziraphale doing things he’s not comfortable with, and Aziraphale reacting badly.
[spoken]
Hansel: Oh, Luther darling,
Vidder’s notes: ‘This is specifically the moment of Az saying he's never killed anybody, which I wanted to be sure to include.’
heaven knows
Vidder’s notes: ‘Only realized after I did this section the extra layer of meaning implied by saying heaven knows he's never done these things.’
I’ve never put on women’s clothes
Important sidebar: The fact that the song is two men speaking to each other (rather than the inevitable male/female dynamic) is vital. It’s the fact of everything lining up - the show, the characters, the song, the dynamics. We are used to this with ‘straight’ shows, because that’s just how it goes, but that’s not what this show is. It’s a queer love story between two male [presenting] creatures, and although it’s tempting to press them into the pre-existing ‘love story mould’ (Star Crossed Lovers, say), this is something else. Aziraphale’s story in particular is a Coming Out story, and this ties into that as well. To quote the D/S post, which highlights the issues addressed here:
‘Aziraphale [is] 100% comfortable with [their] dynamic [as shown in the Revolution scene], [w]hich Crowley unfortunately mistakes for being ready to take personal risks in Heaven, which he is not, and that's why they break up.’
Vidder’s notes: ‘I included the holy water scene in this sequence to set up the thermos being used as a declaration of love later. Also obviously one of the most forceful instances of Aziraphale rejecting Crowley's requests.’
Except for once
My mother’s camisole!
And then we’re off! It’s not about the dressing up (Aziraphale is clearly perfectly happy in Madam Tracy’s body), but using that metaphor to show Aziraphale breaking away from his previous allegiance and finally throwing his lot in with Crowley. And the little wave in the mirror is so very precious. He’s so thrilled to have done this! Remember, possessing people is a ‘demon’ thing, it’s his first actual break with Heaven [after throwing himself out/orchestrating his own Fall] and if we read ‘Putting on women’s clothes’ as ‘possessing people’/’doing things angels shouldn’t do’, the metaphor works rather beautifully. :) Plus of course, he goes on to own it: “THE Southern Pansy”.
So you think only a woman
Vidder’s notes: Since I am obviously working against the lyrics a bit as neither Crowley nor Aziraphale have any problems with coming across feminine, I included both Crowley's 'what the . . . ?' reaction and later Crowley dressed as the nanny to show exactly what kind of 'man' Crowley is in return, the transition from the nanny to Madam Tracy screaming further highlighting the congruity here. There is also the nice parallel of both Crowley and Shadwell being shocked by Aziraphale’s actions (which highlights how All The Characters Mirror each other, because overall Madam Tracy stands in for Crowley, but here she - literally - switches to being Aziraphale).
Sidebar: You can also add any kind of defiance of cis-normativeness to this. Crowley especially blurs the gender lines a lot in how he presents himself over the years. (More on this later, in the meta at the end.)
Can truly love a man
Vidder’s notes: Obviously I am going with the interpretation that the holy water scene is a declaration of love, an acknowledgement that 'yes, there is something here' more than a putting on of the breaks. And fits with the general theme in this verse of Aziraphale off the rails and off-book, doing the unexpected.
[Instrumental]
And here we have Aziraphale being attacked by traditionally masculine authority figures. Both the Quartermaster and Shadwell are almost caricatures in their incredible narrow-mindedness and (literal) Toxic Masculinity; it’s the honey bees again, but at this point Aziraphale has had enough, and will (very politely) excuse himself and join Crowley and thus create ‘Their Own Side’.
Promethia’s thoughts from a post several weeks ago (I know I’m repeating things, but I like how this is laid out, and there is no harm in a good summary):
1) Shadwell thinks Aziraphale is a demon and tries to exorcise him.
2) He goes through a traditional hero's journey: dies, goes through the underworld, returns with a boon.
3) The boon, in this case, is of course his siding with earth/fully embracing his identity/etc. But he does it by willingly becoming that bit more like Crowley, deciding he's going to try to possess someone, saying 'demons do it.' Which is both, well, demon-y, but also shows the kind of creative thinking and willingness to transgress boundaries that is Crowley's trademark.
Well you buy me the dress,
Vidder’s Notes: ‘The general idea here I tried to convey is one of Crowley meeting Aziraphale halfway, hence the blazing Bentley (“Look, wherever you are, I'll come to you!”), and saving the book. And then, obviously I GOT YOU BLUE*.’
*This is very silly, and thus very important. It is, basically, the best and most obscure meme ever. So:
In a random comment thread, Owls remarked how the nesting fic trope reminded him of this video "I got you blue."
The following conversation ensued:
Owls: liek imagine te next thing Crowley tries after ''we can run away together'' fails repeatedly is ''i got you blue and yellow.'' surely Aziraphale can't resist that?
Promethia: *sputters*
*ahem*:
Owls: dgljggf
ima get that bitch a book. bitches love books
Promethia: It worked too. Good job, Crowley.
God I love fandom.
And so, that is what I think about EVERY TIME I see Crowley holding up the book. ‘I got you blue’. Thank you for coming to our TED Talk. We have icons, please credit
owlboy: I'll be more woman
Than a man like you can stand
Vidder’s notes: 'There was some post on Tumblr that I'm now wishing I'd thought to save that said something like you know, ‘Crowley is actually rather stable and predictable in his own way. But Aziraphale? Aziraphale seems all staid and buttoned up, but as soon as he went off his chain he just went completely feral. He might do anything! There was no predicting! And god it's true and God love him for it.’ So that's what I was looking to capture in that bit. ETA: FOUND IT. Go read.
So, this is basically Aziraphale flooring it down the highway, blasting Meredith Brook's 'Bitch' (US here, UK here) and screaming along YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY is what I'm saying.
This verse also explicitly answers two different arguments from the spoken section, with Aziraphale both giving Crowley the holy water and picking up the gun to kill Adam (aside from just the general siding-with-Crowley of it all).
I'm also quite proud of the juxtaposition of Madam Tracy tenderly taking off Shadwell's hat with the gun going off. I know the first one is actually Madam Tracy and not Aziraphale, but shhhhhhh, mirrors. Kind of a love/ferocity thing. I'M A BITCH, I'M A LOVER.
And lastly I'm rather fond of the bit when Crowley is breaking down about his car and Aziraphale tries to be like 'you need to go do what you do now!!!!' thing. But, and I think this is vital, when Crowley won't/can't, Aziraphale does step in and take over.’
I'll be your Venus on a chocolate clam shell
Crowley: “Hey. Aziraphale. I see you found a ride. Nice dress. Suits you.”
This is one of my favourite moments in the show - the casual compliment, Aziraphale/Tracy’s pleasure. And, from Owls’ meta:
‘It’s another pointed rejection of Heaven's identity erasure. He's not going to show up to the apocalypse in some drab uniform the Quartermaster hollers at him to wear. He's going to show up as a glamorous woman in a big bright coat with frilly purple gloves. Because he has standards thank you very much.’
So yeah, perfect fit for that line.
Rising on a sea of marshmallow foam
<3 No words needed, he is beautiful and perfect on his sea of marshmallow foam. (I defy you to ever watch that moment again and not have these words in your mind! You’re welcome by the way.)
And if you got some sugar for me
Sugar daddy, bring it home
This is probably my favourite moment in the vid, and the show. And (imho) the pivotal moment of the whole story.
From one of Owls’ comments:
‘It’s hysterically funny but also it works precisely because this IS their dynamic and IT IS THAT DYNAMIC that helps them save the world and. I keep watching the bits with Madame Tracy / the airfield because YES! That's what I'm SAYING!!! ''I'll be more woman than a man like you can stand...'' and she takes the gun oh my god!!!Crowley stopping time on ''bring it home’’!!!’
We have had the Sugar Daddy requests be sweet and pleading, but here it is angry and desperate, the music and the beat driving everything onwards, louder and higher, and this is it. They have had six thousand years of learning and growing and building a relationship with a very specific dynamic, and Aziraphale wields it like a cudgel. (Yes he’s got a sword in his hand, but that’s beside the point. He doesn’t threaten violence, he threatens their relationship.) ‘This is who we are, this is what we do, NOW DO IT!’ (I trusted you, I threw myself out of heaven, you are all I have, I believe in you, save us! Save the world!)
And so, Crowley does.
There is a whole Tumblr meta on it here, which you should read. It’s not long, but I will quote the main part (the post itself goes into the reasons in more detail, so go read):
‘At the start of the story they set out to be godfathers of the antichrist, hoping to provide enough saving and damning between them that it all cancels out. Things obviously go pear shaped, but it’s during that moment when Crowley stops time that they’re finally able to focus on the right child. Except now, instead of trying to influence Adam they accept him. Fully. Aziraphale and Crowley act as parents should by:
1. Treating Adam as an individual worthy of respect.
2. They accept who Adam is.
3. They accept whoever Adam might be in the future.
And that’s what gives Adam the strength to stand up to Satan. Before this he’s questioning himself—“I’m just a kid”—but with both of them beside him (taking his hands as a further gesture of support) he’s confident enough to not only face Satan, but change reality itself.
[…]
Their unconditional love literally helps save the world. ’
Vidder’s notes: ‘This - together with the 'it's our tradition line' immediately thereafter are summarized in my head by Owl's great line 'and then they accidentally humanity's parents.'’
So, that is all the stuff crammed into those few cuts. :)
It's our tradition to control
Vidder’s notes: ‘This is, in some ways, the most important line of the vid to me. Both the idea that humanity has taken the things that Az&C gave them and have taken control of their own destiny, but also that Az&C have said, essentially, hey, look at what humanity has done with this thing that we did for them, that came from us, why should we not be able to have that too? So, in a weird way, they are both the parents of humanity, and humanity's adopted children, learning from them in turn.’
On a more ‘surface’ level, then we have apples and flaming swords and 6000 years of human history with Original Adam and Eve, and the ‘new’ Adam and ‘new’ Eve (Pepper, obviously. She even declares herself 'a mother of unborn generations').
Like Erich Honecker and Helmut Kohl
Vidder’s notes: ‘East Berlin/Germany is Heaven and West Hell both because Aziraphale is from Heaven, so as our Hansel here, his country of origin should be the east. But I also figure that there's some level of assumed virtuousness in communism, anyway, as opposed to the decadent capitalist west.’
(FYI: Erich Honecker and Helmut Kohl are the East German and West German leaders, here obviously represented by Gabriel and Beelzebub.)
From the Ukraine to the Rhone, oh yeah
Vidder’s notes: ‘I wasn't thinking of this when I chose the clips for hell in this part--I just went for the trial because it looked good--but that's actually Aziraphale in both of them, traveling from the Ukraine to the Rhone, and choosing earth.’
Personally, I always saw the angels as American Evangelical types, and the demons as the 'heathen' Soviets, so basically the viewer can make up their own mind. :)
It’s also worth noting that it’s Aziraphale (don’t forget, he’s very intelligent, a trait specifically mentioned in the book; he is the one who pieced everything together) - sweet, cautious little Aziraphale who wouldn’t say boo to a goose back on the wall, who has spent his entire life on Earth terrified of what ‘Heaven’ will say - that Azirapahle who gets the two armies to back down. And he does so… by sowing doubt. Talk about taking your weakness and turning it into strength.
In short: You go little Fallen Angel! You go, being ‘a snarky shit-stirring little tramp who back-chats authority’ (Owls has the BEST descriptions, this one’s from the D/s meta) and you show ‘em all how it’s done. Save the world with your gay superpowers.
Sweet home uber alles,
Lord, I'm coming home
Aziraphale does not ‘saunter vaguely downwards’. Aziraphale very carefully and deliberately says ‘I have no further interest in anything Heaven can offer me, good day’ and chooses Earth (and Crowley, and the fight to save the world) instead.
As Owls’ puts it in the Big Gay Thot meta:
‘He stumbles into more vicious verbal assault from the Quartermaster for discorporating and holding up Armageddon. But nothing the Quartermaster throws at him sticks to him. He's not intimidated or defensive like with the previous two assaults. Because he's already been brutally extorted, failed to stop the war, lost his faith in the system, self eviscerated [via Shadwell], and survived it all, in a matter of hours. What can Heaven say about his failures that he doesn't already know?’
And so he turns from Heaven (and God, who wouldn’t answer) and towards Earth - because he isn’t alone. He has a friend and he has a home, and so he is not so much running away from Heaven, as running towards what he truly cares about. Being stripped of everything makes it far clearer what he does have - and so we get that beautiful montage, chronicling his time on earth, and Crowley, Crowley, Crowley everywhere, in every time and every place. You can see the realisation on his face - this is what Crowley meant when he said let’s run away together: It wasn’t the running away, it was the together part. They can be on their own side. Promethia said: ‘As I made this, the connection occurred to me of Adam telling Satan he's not his dad because he was never there. Family are the ones who were always there.’ That is essentially the same realisation that Aziraphale has in that moment:
Crowley is family and Earth is home; so that’s what Aziraphale chooses and that’s where Aziraphale goes and that’s what Aziraphale will fight for.
(and forsaking all others keep only unto him so long as you both shall live)
♥
Come on, sugar daddy, bring me home
Oh, so many things crammed into this. Above all else, it’s the response to the section above: Every other time this line comes up, it’s ‘Bring it home’ - this time it’s ‘Bring me home’. Which is addressed directly in the scenes at the bus stop - Crowley reminding Aziraphale that the bookshop burned down; but - he can stay at Crowley’s. The Sugar Daddy is literally bringing Aziraphale [to his] home. This is what love does - it makes you leave the past behind and choose a new home, trusting the person who is now the centre of your world to take care of you. It’s faith.
A run-down of all the different clips:
- Getting on the bus and sitting down together (in a mirror/contrast to the start when they were apart - told you it was important!)
- All the other characters mirrors; Madam Tracy providing a (shared) home to Shadwell (they all get cottages in the countryside!!!), being just herself without any artifice.
- Anathema and Newt burning the new prophecies, followed by Aziraphale in the fire; paralleling Anathema throwing off the control of Agnes with Aziraphale throwing off the control of heaven.
- I love love love the shot of Crowley-as-Aziraphale in the fire. The smugness that just radiates ‘Fuck you’. And because it’s actually Crowley, it’s everything squared. It’s Aziraphale’s ‘message’, so to speak, but it’s also Crowley’s own chance to tell the angels to get lost. He may not have meant to fall, but by now nothing could ever tempt him back, and having a chance to say this to their faces is clearly delicious beyond words. Plus, I also see a hefty dose of ‘The angel is MINE now. And don’t you ever forget it.’ It’s a six thousand year long love story, and finally our star crossed lovers get their happy ending. Damn straight they’ll tell those who stood in their way to get lost. With fire.
- There is also the point of this being ‘Aziraphale as Crowley sees him’: Polite to a fault. Quiet. Kind. Honourable to the end, no matter the cost to himself (they ordered him to step into the fire and self-destruction, sure he would obey). And… with surprise fire in his belly. (‘Enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.’)
- The deep bond between our demon and our angel, literally swapping bodies, and then…
We are back to that first moment, with Crowley stepping under Aziraphale’s wing, which Promethia subtitled 'come home' in her head. A moment echoed in the open piano in the Ritz, and it’s the whole story in two images.
And finally Crowley turns out the lights. Thank you and good night.
Queer lens as default: Crowley (and Heaven and hell)
So, originally this was where I tacked on my Crowley meta that had been quietly brewing in the back of my mind, a sort of bonus extra. Except then
purplefringe went and posted a vid that was like… this meta, in vid form. Please go watch: Apart from the fact that I wrote most of this before she posted her vid, it could be a commentary on it (well, the Crowley parts of it), and I have shamelessly stolen the song lyrics for my headings. This essay delves into the same issues, just with written meta rather than gut-wrenching poetry.
And THEN Owls posted meta on the historical significance of the Crowley/Aziraphale meetings, which I can also link to:
The (gay) history of the world through Good Omens: Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship seems to progress in almost lock-step parallel to attitudes about homosexuality throughout history.
Above, we have tracked Aziraphale’s development in great detail, his self-acceptance and his choices. But how does that sit within the wider ‘verse? And where does Crowley fit in? We know Crowley fell a long long time ago, and he is, essentially, Aziraphale’s guide, the old hand who’s been through the mill and is battling demons of his own.
But before we get to Crowley we need to set the world in order - how does this ‘verse function and what is trying to do?
Good Omens is a world with angels and demons, Heaven and hell, a literal Garden of Eden, and a God who narrates. But, although it uses a lot of Christian imagery and Biblical events (much like J. K. Rowling’s Dementors draw heavily on Tolkien’s Ring Wraiths), it does not follow Christian theology - it is a fairy tale.
Allow me to explain…
Let’s talk about Ineffable Plans. In Christian Theology the Ineffable Plan is summed up in John 3.16. Jesus was executed because he claimed to be God, and the Resurrection was THE victory. A victory borne out of submission and love, something unexpected and that people still have problems with. And the point of it was to save people. (I could go on, but I’m not going to. Grab John’s gospel for further insights.)
But in Good Omens Jesus’ death comes about (according to our POV characters, which is what matters) because he told people to be kind to each other. Crowley, cynically, remarks “Yeah, that’d do it.”
Ergo we are in a fairy tale, but one using a lot of Christian symbols. Which might be because of ease (the connotations are all built in), but also maybe because it wants to say something about Christianity and/or religion. And we certainly have plenty of fodder in the angels’/Heaven’s behaviour. But the book scene where Aziraphale possesses a TV evangelist did not make it cut to the screen (it was in the original script however), so the point is not to criticise religion generally, or tackling it in the ways we are used to.
(Sidebar: In the book, Heaven and hell are fairly obvious metaphors for the two sides in the Cold War, something that’s fallen by the wayside pretty much completely in the TV show, what with the different world we now live in. Pollution, sadly, is still as relevant as ever, although Pestilence is having somewhat of a comeback with all the anti-vaxxers. *sigh*)
So, what I propose is that this is a queer fairy tale. Fundamentally so. Go read Owls’ historical meta that I linked to above, and remember, this is the show where God is female, and Adam and Eve are black and Neil has stated that everything is meant. Including, presumably, the (queer) dates and times and places that our main characters meet and interact. So, speaking of Ineffable Plans, I propose that within Good Omens, God’s [i.e. the authors’] Ineffable Plan is to give our two little queer love birds a happy ending. And they have to journey through the whole of human history, and they have to deal with all kinds of crap - which I shall be laying out below, in detail - but the whole thing, the apocalypse, the entire gallery of heroes and villains and chattering nuns and witches and witch finders and the four horsemen and all the rest, are there for the sake of our angel and our demon, to throw a light on the absolute incredible mountain of pain and obstacles queer people have [had] to endure just to carve themselves a place in the world. And of course God doesn’t talk to them, she (they) just narrate(s).
Ergo: queer fairy tale, QED. ☺
This feat is an extraordinary thing in and of itself. However, you should also see this short post on why it is so important.
(Please note, other interpretations and lenses are available. We all see different things, and this reading does not cancel out any others.)
Now (almost magically) when we look at it through a queer lens, everything suddenly lines up beautifully.
I don’t really need to talk about Aziraphale, since his journey is so beautifully laid out by Owls [Big Gay Thot meta]. The important part for this meta, is how Heaven stands in for that particular bigoted aspect of religion - the one where it’s more important to fight ‘evil’ (i.e. anything that doesn’t fit within very carefully curated parameters) than to actually do good and love thy neighbour or, you know, follow any of Jesus’ actual teachings (remember, Jesus hung out with the most appalling people - sinners and tax collectors and dancing girls and poor fishermen, not Respectable People™). Here it is used in the context of homophobia, but the pattern is the same whatever flavour of bigotry you subscribe to - step outside the boundaries, question authority, disobey your orders, and you’re thrown out. It’s a very real power, and one that maims countless lives, forcing people to choose between being true to themselves, or losing their home/family/community. We see Aziraphale struggling with this throughout the whole timespan of Earth’s history, and he has to lose everything before finally realising that actually, he has a different home, and a different family.
Which brings us to Crowley.
Well baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
So, when I was trying to figure it all out, hell was a bit of a headache. Because hell is genuinely horrible and full of evil things - basically it tracks, theologically, the way the rest of the ‘verse doesn’t. Hastur & Ligur’s ‘Tempation of the Day’ at the beginning could have come straight out of C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters. And yet Crowley… isn’t that. He sauntered vaguely downwards, hung out with the wrong people, but he isn’t evil in that sense. So how did he fit?
Except once I looked through the queer lens (or rather, removed the default hetero-normative one, ugh, it sticks to everything) it all made perfect sense.
Hell is hell. Hell is full of terrible things. But when ‘Heaven’ draws everything in binary, then anything that isn’t perfectly ‘white’ might as well be black. And thus, Crowley ‘fell’ — it’s not that he is ‘evil’ (in the sense of Hastur or Beelzebub), it’s that he wasn’t willing to follow Heaven’s restrictive rules and was thus cast out as ‘other’.
In queer [metaphor] terms though, what does this mean? It means that Crowley is the guy who was ‘outed’ a long, long, long time ago. Before anything was legal, before the very idea that gay people might ever be accepted. Being ‘homosexual’ (or anything apart from straight and cis) was defacto bad, sinful, and meant that you were damned. You were going to hell, no question about it.
Owls’ aside: ‘Crowley waltzed out of that closet in 3 inch Louboutin stilettos.’ (Yes, you can take a moment to just sit with that mental image - I’m definitely dragging the Sugar Daddy into this, cause queer show; it is glorious and defiant and fabulous, darling.)
So Crowley did what many such people did and said ‘Fuck you!’ to his former home and embraced being his own, flamboyant, rebellious, oft-gender-blurring ‘bad’ self. And caused trouble as best he knew.
Sidebar: Crowley is very good at his job. The M25 *is* a stroke of genius, and when you next watch the scene where Aziraphale and he get drunk after he’s delivered the Antichrist, please note how expertly he gets Aziraphale to agree to his proposition of influencing the child. It’s masterful and shows how very very good he is at tempting.
But he also knows the price of standing out (see him cautioning Aziraphale for walking into a revolution with a big target on his chest) and takes Aziraphale under his wing (yes, I know), but at the same time is also unable to stop himself tempting his angel and questioning ‘the party line’ any chance he gets.
Crowley: You’re so clever. How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?
However, he doesn’t like hell. And ‘never really gave up on/Breakin' out of this two-star town’.
Sidebar: Interesting meta on Crowley and hell here.
He isn’t really meant to be there, it’s just that there were no other options. (And in many places, there still isn’t.)
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
What all this means is that Crowley is the walking wounded. There is a lot of Tumblr meta about how his plants are his [possibly subconscious] attempt at re-creating a Garden of Eden of his own, and that he treats them the way he himself was treated - harsh and unforgiving, for faults they cannot help. (Tumblr post 1 / Tumblr post 2)
“GROW BETTER!” he yells, because that’s what life has taught him (And, just to break your heart even more). One tiny blemish, one ‘fault’ (that you can’t help) and that’s it, you’re out.
I shall here quote something from the second Tumblr post:
‘imagine how Crowley feels when Aziraphale comes into his flat and looks at his
imagine how that feels, imagine how it feels to have someone take the punching bag you’ve taped your own face to, and instead they hug it, how fucking gobsmacked would you be about that’
So Crowley’s story is about learning to be loved (and here is why, despite everything, he might be terrified of that) and for someone to believe in him.
In the bandstand scene Aziraphale keeps throwing his demon status in his face, and Crowley tries to cut through - he tries so hard - but he keeps getting shot down. Aziraphale still believes that somehow he can talk sense into Heaven, but Crowley knows better; the pointedly pious and still hopeful versus the old and disillusioned - because Crowley knows exactly how likely they are to listen. So he tries a different tack, because what he wants is to keep Aziraphale safe, and knows that nobody else cares about this.
Hence ‘We’re on our own side’, but Aziraphale isn’t ready for that yet. And Crowley’s weary resignation when Aziraphale ‘breaks up’ is heartbreaking. This is what happens if you put your faith in others - they let you down.
Aziraphale - very successful at research and piecing together information - tries and fails and blunders around when it comes to attempting to sway Heaven.
Crowley is far more practical once he realises they have been discovered. When his second attempt at talking Aziraphale into running away fails (and this time he’s desperate, because he knows what they do to ‘people like them’, he’s lived it) he defaults to the plans he started making more than a century ago. Using the Holy Water is brutal, ‘But all I've ever learned from love/Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya’. He expects no mercy, so gives none. (Sidebar: Trapping Hastur in the answer machine is yet another stroke of Crowley-genius. I love it.)
And then he goes to find his angel, who has in the meantime had a few harsh truths pointed out so bluntly that he can no longer ignore them (“Don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses can get you special treatment in hell” - and of course the Megatron being dully disinterested), and has reached back out to Crowley - and Crowley arrives to the bookshop burning (they’ll both lose their ‘homes’ on Earth to fire) and Aziraphale is gone.
And at this point Crowley just gives up.
Crowley: “There aren’t any right people. There’s just God. Moving in mysterious ways and NOT TALKING TO ANY OF US.”
Because he has lost the one person he cared about, and there’s no point running away all on his own. For him, the Apocalypse has already happened. I think he loves the world - we even see him pleading with God before this, but I think there is also a lot self-identification going on:
Crowley: “I only ever asked questions. That’s all it took to be a demon in the old days. Great Plan? Hey! God! Are you listening? Show me a Great Plan! Okay, I know you’re testing them, you said you were going to test them. But you shouldn’t test them to destruction… Not to the end of the world.”
And the unspoken message that lies below: Not like you did to me.
The world is messy and complicated and asks questions and is a place where Crowley feels at home. And it is full of things that Crowley likes. Like fancy clothes and Bentleys and sunglasses and… Aziraphale.
Aziraphale is an intrinsic part of the world for Crowley. He has loved the world with Aziraphale, from the beginning. It’s been a joint effort. They’ve balanced each other out, understood each other, and now… what is the world without his angel? What is he?
Except of course his angel returns, and Crowley’s whole world almost keels over, before snapping back into focus. Because what Aziraphale says, in not so many words, is ‘We’re on our own side’. And it’s all Crowley has ever wanted or needed.
So he will drive his Bentley to destruction, through fire - his own fire, and I think there is a very nice metaphor in there about having to be purified and going through the pain he has thoughtlessly created for others (because that’s what pain tends to do, we pass it on) - in order to ‘earn’ a place at his angel’s side (can everyone say Ineffable Plan?). And a) we get it specifically pointed out that he has an imagination (to further mark him as different to the other demons) and b) he loses the Bentley, just like Aziraphale has lost the bookshop.
And now we get to where everything overlaps with what’s above. As I said, they have spent centuries working together, often with Aziraphale getting into trouble and Crowley having to rescue him (sometimes genuine danger, sometimes it seems like Aziraphale does it on purpose because he likes to be rescued).
What it does is cast Crowley - the demon, the bad guy, the tempter, the Fallen, as… the hero. The Rescuer. The white knight. The saviour.
And it’s been a game (in any way you care to read it), but now Aziraphale pushes it to breaking point. And believes in Crowley. It’s the end of the world, and he hands it all to Crowley, saying: “Come up with something.”
And then Crowley came up with something
The fate of the world in the hands of a demon.
Crowley has spent his entire life since the Fall being told that he’s evil and untrustworthy, even by Aziraphale, casually, constantly (Crowley: “Would I lie to you?”/Aziraphale: “Of course, you are a demon”), and now his angel puts his entire faith in Crowley’s ability to care and improvise, essentially trusting a demon’s love to save the day.
It’s exquisite. And world changing. Quite literally, for Crowley.
And this is where I thought I might be able to leave off the Buffy parallels, but… the line that reminds me of Crowley more than any other, is Spike’s: “I’m not good, but I’m OK”.
Spike - the demon who defied his nature and decides to fight on the side of good, for the sake of love…
Except Good Omens is a very different show, with very different metaphors and very different stories. Crowley’s journey isn’t about fighting to become ‘a better man’ - it’s about learning that he’s more than just ‘a demon’, that he is worth saving and being cared about just the way he is. That he can have dreams and watch them come true, that he can be in a relationship and be happy as he is. That he can be the protector and carer like he always wanted, that this can be his defining role, that love doesn’t mean rejection, but acceptance. (See alllll the fic about how he hides his eyes and how Aziraphale declares that he loves them.)
That the Hallelujah can be un-broken, and sung with joy. As a duet.
No wonder he goes through fire three times for his angel. And that final time they trust each other with their bodies, in a way no one thought possible:
Aziraphale: “Pity I can’t inhabit [your body]. But angel, demon… We’d probably explode.”
Because as stated above, Aziraphale isn’t thrown out of Heaven. And doesn’t want to run away to Alpha Centauri under cover of darkness. Aziraphale chooses Crowley. He very carefully and deliberately says: ‘You matter to me more than anything else.’ Imagine what that does to someone who has spent their whole life being told they are unworthy [of love, of consideration, of trust].
Owls: ‘Crowley is perfectly comfortable loving himself, but that is survival instinct in response to being universally rejected, to be loved by someone else is a different thing entirely.’ (And Tumblr grasped that instinctively)
To bring it all back to RL, it all reminded me of this story from the Marriage Equality referendum in Ireland:
[Andy Hinds, 64] told BuzzFeed News what life was like for him in Derry in the 1960s.
"At the age of 14 I remember praying to God that I wouldn't be a queer, because I suspected I was. The word gay didn't exist in Derry. I thought what queers did was had quick fumbles up in the darkness of back lanes. I didn't even conceive that gay men could kiss each other."
He continued: "I remember the first time I laid down with a guy, I thought, 'This is extraordinary; I didn't know you could lie down and hold a man,' because I had never seen it or heard about it. I didn't know you could kiss. And then this guy took me out in a car and put the back seats down and got a sleeping bag out and we just laid down and held each other and I thought, 'This is incredible.' A whole new world opened up. I still remember his name: Roy King."
What Aziraphale gives Crowley is something new. The idea that he doesn’t have to be alone. That there is a third option, that they can be on their own side - not in a reflex rejection of the other options, and not by running away, but in creating their own thing. Make a space that wasn’t there before.
Sure they have to overcome the combined forces of Heaven and hell to get there, to break free and claim their freedom and be able to just live.
But that simple thing is worth more than words can say.
So yeah, I’m just going to go away and have a lot of FEELINGS. If you want fic (that will rip your heart out, and put it back together), then:
it's the light (it's the obstacle that casts it
Summary: The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho.
(Set in Soho in the 50s with everything that implies. And casting light on why our heroes might be cautious of touching each other.)
On The Matter Of Touch
Summary: For two ineffable husbands, they don't really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.
(The ending of this damn near killed me - as per the quote above. But then, if something as simple as holding hands in public can get you attacked, how deep must the fear of touch run?)
But the final image I want to leave you with is this gem from Tumblr/Facebook, which is too perfect for words, and somehow sums up everything.
THIS IS THE SHOW
And it is GAY and glorious and dramatic and sweet and funny and heartbreaking - in short, the soft queer fairy tale we need and deserve.
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Your wostness knows no bounds.
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I am not prepared to offer words about Hallelujah just yet. Every time I try to talk about it I start crying.
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You are SO WELCOME. It was a labour of love, truly. (Promethia and I share a brain anyway, so...) And I hope it worked how I wanted it, presuming anyone who isn't us can keep All Of That in their head whilst watching. *g*
This is serious fuel for my new powerbottom!Aziraphale fic, and I am *so* grateful.
Happy writing! I love how all the fanworks inspire others.
I am not prepared to offer words about Hallelujah just yet. Every time I try to talk about it I start crying.
Well, the gif is basically a self-insert, because Crowley just channels ALL THE EMOTIONS. That part was supposed to be quite short, but the more I looked, the more there was, and the more devastating it got. Ugh. My heart canNOT cope with Crowley.
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I celebrate your Crowley emotions! All my feels are Azirafeels at the moment. I look forward to a day when I can love Crowley as much as Aziraphale does, but this angel has stolen my heart.
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We have been doing this for a loooong time! Well, not the vid thing, the meta thing. Am glad it works though, one always worries.
The vid is at a high reading level, but I've been vidding for two decades now so I can absorb it like a happy sponge. :D
Not surprised! (Your 'Shut Up and Drive' is still my favourite Martha vid bar none. I am a complete vid addict.)
I celebrate your Crowley emotions! All my feels are Azirafeels at the moment. I look forward to a day when I can love Crowley as much as Aziraphale does, but this angel has stolen my heart.
Just like he stole Crowley's. ;) And the show follows Aziraphale's story far more, so he's much more accessible, and HIS FACE. I just have too many emotions about EVERYTHING.
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asdfghjhgdsasdfghjkjhgfd
*flailing*
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That's the reaction I was hoping for! :D
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Yessss. Follow me! It's a lovely rabbit hole, you can stay for WEEKS (like I have...)
I will re-read your post with a more awake mind today, and more than likely get lost in the links I didn’t get around to yesterday (or the early morning of today really). :D :D
\o/ It just kept growing (which was wonderful), but also quite ridiculous. There are SO MANY THINGS.
By all means come back & talk to me, unless you just want to sit with it all. <3
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Well, it took a week to write, it's been eating my head for way longer. I love everything, and I have terribly talented friends.
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And yeah, this show just... keeps giving.
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going through the pain he has thoughtlessly created for others (because that’s what pain tends to do, we pass it on)
ohhh this is deeply astute. I love that interpretation.
and now his angel puts his entire faith in Crowley’s ability to care and improvise, essentially trusting a demon’s love to save the day.
AHHHH *has a lot of Crowley feels*
[0] I am on holiday for a fortnight, and I have set myself the task of Clearing Out My Tabs. It is...quite a *big* task.
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*waves* Wren Truesong from AO3, come to bug you as directed. XD but for now i'll just stick a pin in this and very strictly put myself to bed.
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Looking forward to your contributions (or just general rambling, I like rambling *points to post as proof*) once you are awake and have the time.
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The main part of this (with Anathema and the bike) is there because (as per Promethia’s notes) ‘it’s one of the few times when Aziraphale fully takes control of what's going on, and Crowley just tags along, protesting weakly. In particular the cheek of putting the bike rack on Crowley's car, tartan-patterned and everything! I love the way he just uses tartan like a stamp: mine, mine, mine…’
I love it all to distraction, especially the last bit when Anathema turns and Aziraphale is just standing there, beaming, like 'Damn right, I am just that brilliant!' Like a tiny little triumphant angelic king, surveying his kingdom and his work and the effect it is having. ♥
I hadn't caught that bit of a tartan patterened bike rack, nor did I realize it had been specially designed for the character. Neat to know!
Vidder’s notes: ‘Something about the drone-like nature of the angels, the geometric regularity of heaven, the way they swarm, the way they sting, made this feel very appropriate. I imagine they see humanity somewhat the way that bees see flowers: something to be cultivated and used for the good of the hive.’
Hmm, yes, a good metaphor.
As it happened he was played, and Crowley comes to his rescue (by risking his own life!), but then asks Aziraphale to rescue them both, by saving them from the bomb. And then Crowley in turn has saved the books… They’re a team. Also note that almost all the shots feature the bird/angel statue in the background.
So well laid out, yes, and I hadn't noticed the statue!
It’s not about the dressing up (Aziraphale is clearly perfectly happy in Madam Tracy’s body), but using that metaphor to show Aziraphale breaking away from his previous allegiance and finally throwing his lot in with Crowley. And the little wave in the mirror is so very precious. He’s so thrilled to have done this! Remember, possessing people is a ‘demon’ thing, it’s his first actual break with Heaven [after throwing himself out/orchestrating his own Fall] and if we read ‘Putting on women’s clothes’ as ‘possessing people’/’doing things angels shouldn’t do’, the metaphor works rather beautifully. :) Plus of course, he goes on to own it: “THE Southern Pansy”.
Hmm! This was a moment where the vid made me laugh because the song is so perfect a choice. But that's very interesting to think about how much more is being revealed by that.
Personally, I always saw the angels as American Evangelical types, and the demons as the 'heathen' Soviets, so basically the viewer can make up their own mind. :)
I think that's a very likely reading, only emphasized by the choice of an American actor to lead heaven't camp.
it’s the whole story in two images
Indeed.
It means that Crowley is the guy who was ‘outed’ a long, long, long time ago. Before anything was legal, before the very idea that gay people might ever be accepted. Being ‘homosexual’ (or anything apart from straight and cis) was defacto bad, sinful, and meant that you were damned. You were going to hell, no question about it.
Yes, that definitely comes across.
Crowley is very good at his job. The M25 *is* a stroke of genius, and when you next watch the scene where Aziraphale and he get drunk after he’s delivered the Antichrist, please note how expertly he gets Aziraphale to agree to his proposition of influencing the child. It’s masterful and shows how very very good he is at tempting.
True!
Crowley’s journey isn’t about fighting to become ‘a better man’ - it’s about learning that he’s more than just ‘a demon’, that he is worth saving and being cared about just the way he is. That he can have dreams and watch them come true, that he can be in a relationship and be happy as he is. That he can be the protector and carer like he always wanted, that this can be his defining role, that love doesn’t mean rejection, but acceptance.
Well put.
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Finally got a chance to watch the vid now that I've completed Good Omens. It helps that it only had 1 short season to cover but still, nails the canon perfectly.
It's a thing of beauty, isn't it? It just completely ate our brains and the result is wonderful.
I hadn't caught that bit of a tartan patterened bike rack, nor did I realize it had been specially designed for the character. Neat to know!
There are a MILLION details. Every aspect of the sets and shooting and clothes and... everything was planned.
Hmm, yes, a good metaphor.
This show can fit all the metaphors. :)
So well laid out, yes, and I hadn't noticed the statue!
Oh the statue! Well, both statues...
Hmm! This was a moment where the vid made me laugh because the song is so perfect a choice. But that's very interesting to think about how much more is being revealed by that.
It's layer after layer after layer. (There's a reason we've all been obsessed for 8 months.)
Indeed.
♥
Yes, that definitely comes across.
This is the queerest show ever. <3
Am thrilled you enjoyed the vid & my post and, in case you want more, I have these two master posts:
https://elisi.dreamwidth.org/1926526.html
Good Omens: A Guide Down the Rabbit Hole
:)