Entry tags:
Fic: Divided Destiny. Chapter 34
First chapter & notes here (on LJ), for DW just follow the tags, and Master post of whole 'verse here (also tagged on DW).
Can also be found on AO3.
I really hope you like this chapter, it refused to come together. And then there's only the Epilogue left and it's all done!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: Teen. (Same warnings as the show basically.)
Characters: Spike, Angel, Illyria, Buffy, Scoobies + cameos from more or less everyone in the 'verse.
Main Ships: Spike/Buffy, Angel/Nina
Feedback: Is bloody ambrosia! (The secret ingredient is otter...)
Word count (this chapter): 1800 words
Setting and Summary: As before. (Post-NFA epic quest thing.)
Beta: The ever wonderful![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kathyh
Chapter 34
Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder, but when she turned there was no one there.
Maybe she was just imagining things…
Briefly burying her head in her hands she wondered what to do now. What had happened? The visions were painful, but somehow Spike screaming and clutching his head was just… normal. She had never thought about whether there might be side effects — after all the chip had deteriorated, maybe the visions were harming him? Or maybe it was Something Else, someone wanting vengeance? Or…
The possibilities were too many to worry about, first of all she needed to get Spike home.
Standing up, she tried to assess the situation. She could carry him she supposed, but it was a long way and she wasn’t keen on hauling a dead weight around. Getting out her phone, she scrolled through the contacts, eventually (and somewhat reluctantly) calling Harmony. How she could afford to keep a car on what they were paying her Buffy didn’t know (nor cared about), but right now it was very useful.
“Buffy? If it’s about that guy I was kinda necking yesterday, then like I told Spike, he asked me to, it was for this ting-”
“Shut up Harmony, I am calling because — because I need a favour.”
Buffy could almost hear the pout.
“If this is another apocalypse-”
“Harmony! Spike’s collapsed, I need to get him back to the hotel. If I tell you where we are, can you help?”
“I guess…”
Whilst waiting for Harmony to arrive, Buffy called Giles. Thankfully it was early morning in London and Giles had already had a cup of coffee, so he was marginally less snippy than he might otherwise have been, although that wasn’t saying much. He had never said it outright, but Buffy knew he resented Spike for ‘stealing’ her away to LA.
“I’m sorry Buffy, but what exactly is it that you want me to actually do?”
“Just look into whether there is anything mystical happening that could have caused this.”
“And he is in… a coma?”
She wanted to throw something in frustration.
“I guess? Giles, please!”
“Very well. I’ll let you know if we find anything.”
Hanging up, she sat back down next to Spike, brushing a white-blond lock away from his face. He looked… peaceful. Calm. Like he was asleep. A sleeping beauty…
Feeling a little foolish, but figuring it was worth trying, she kissed him. Just in case. But still nothing. Just a dead body.
Her mind was going in circles — the cases he had taken recently, had there been anything weird? Unhappy clients? Or further back…
Biting the bullet (any port in a storm) she dialled Eve’s number.
Eve was of course very annoyed at being woken ’in the middle of the night’ (Buffy bit back a comment about it being 1am, ‘middle’ was hardly accurate unless Eve went to bed at 6pm with a cup of hot milk), and was deeply uninterested in Spike’s condition.
“Eve, I just want to know if you have heard anything about any disgruntled Wolfram & Hart people who might have it in for Spike. Or me.”
“Why do you think they would tell me of all people?” Eve asked, and Buffy shook her head.
“I don’t know. I just thought maybe you would care — anyone coming after us might come for you too.”
This at least made an impact as Eve went quiet, then said “I’ll get back to you”, and hung up.
Leaving Buffy alone again, fighting against unspoken, unknowable fear. Give her something to punch, and she’d be fine. But this… nothingness was impossible to deal with.
Thankfully Harmony then arrived, and was so annoying that she made Buffy forget about being worried.
She complained about being dragged out so late, about Spike being heavy, about David not calling her back, about Eve being a bitch and Adam being an annoying puppy and one of her friends who had borrowed her top and gotten red wine on it and now it was ruined and surely helping Buffy tonight counted as overtime, or at the very least she could get some kind of bonus in her wage packet, right?
Biting her tongue until they were back in the Hyperion, Buffy curtly pointed out that without Spike Harmony would have to look for a new job, so to view the night’s helping hand as an investment — or maybe as a contribution to a good cause?
Alternatively Buffy could just stake her, and then they wouldn’t have to pay her at all!
Harmony tossed her hair, and sniffed that there was no need to be like that, and that none of them appreciated her and maybe she’d go find another job and then they’d all be sorry.
Buffy congratulated herself on letting Harmony leave by the door and not throwing her out of a window.
She didn’t feel so flippant once she was alone.
Spike’s complete stillness was unnerving. She had gotten him into bed (only removing his boots) and found herself in silent vigil at his side.
Neither Giles nor Eve were getting back to her and Willow wasn’t answering her phone, and although there had been that nice warlock they’d met last year, she wasn’t sure if she’d trust him with Spike’s life…
Plus it was a wolf-y night, so Nina was all growly in the basement and unable to provide any kind of support or advice. So instead Buffy just sat by Spike’s side, waiting for a miracle.
Except after ten minutes she started pacing. This was no good. Who hadn’t she tried?
The answer was almost immediate, and not much later Lorne was running up the stairs, dressed in the shiniest pink suit she had ever seen.
“My little crème brûlée, what happened?”
As she described the events of the evening, Lorne slowly walked up to Spike and studied him silently.
“Now, this is going back a few years, but something similar happened to Cordy once…”
Buffy almost laughed in relief. Why hadn’t she called Lorne straight away?
“And?”
“Well, Cordelia was only human, the visions were taking their toll, and she was basically at death’s door. One more vision and she’d be a goner. Didn’t tell any of us of course, just carried on being stupidly brave. Except during her coma she made a deal of some sort and became part-demon, so she could keep the visions…”
Something wasn’t adding up, and Buffy frowned.
“But Spike’s all demon…”
Lorne spread his hands.
“Indeed. So, whatever this is…”
“Is something else again.”
She collapsed on a chair, staring forlornly at the immobile figure on the bed.
“Why can I never catch a break?”
Taking a seat next to her, Lorne patted her shoulder.
“Well, you could try to conjure up our favourite Blue Wonder, I’m sure she’d love to do a Lazarus trick.”
She smiled despite herself.
“Nice idea, but Spike tried contacting Illyria last year, and that was a dead end.”
A pause, as they just sat in the half-light, the lamp beside the bed casting a soft golden glow around the dark room.
“Right then, alcohol or coffee?” Lorne asked, and Buffy felt gratitude welling up. Just to have someone there made all the difference in the world.
“Coffee. And just… thank you.”
“Thank you, Princess. You gave me another shot at… Trying to get life right. I’ll get us some coffee, and then we can have a proper catch-up while we wait for Sleeping Beauty to wake up.”
Then he raised an eyebrow, adding:
“Don’t suppose you’ve tried to kiss him to wake him up?”
She bit her lip.
“… Yes.”
A chuckle.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And hey, those are very kissable kips, we’re all jealous you know.”
Coffee was good. As was someone to talk to. Lorne could both tell a story and also listen, and she found herself unburdening more than expected, stripping back the many layers of hers and Spike’s history; the fights, the pain, the hope, the love…
“I guess, it’s just the fact of seeing him like this… It’s like…” she searched for words, like stepping into unknown terrain. “Like we’re constantly living on borrowed time? I was supposed to die at sixteen… Well, I did die, and then I died again some years later and Spike sacrificed himself in the Hellmouth and — I keep expecting something like this? Not this exact thing, the coma-out-of-nowhere is just weird, but that something could happen, y’know?”
She gripped the cup more tightly, staring at Spike’s immobile form with unseeing eyes.
“We could die, either of us, any day. We slip up, that’s it. And that’s my life, I don’t think I know any other way to live now. Except there’s this big prophecy thing where he might get to be human and… I’m supposed to want that, like a ‘real’ life and children and settling down. But what if I don’t? What if… this is settling down, for me? I think…”
Glancing at Lorne she saw those sympathetic red eyes watching her silently, and somehow found the strength to continue. She really wasn’t good at talking about all this, but she could at least try.
“I think I’m happy? It kinda wigs me out saying it, but it’s like I’m finally in control of my life again, without running away or trying to please other people or having to be something I’m not. And I am so scared that it’ll get taken away…”
Her eyes were burning and then there was an arm around her shoulders.
“Shhh, my little Shield Maiden. You’re allowed to be happy. Trust old Lorne, and trust your Peroxide Prince. He’s a fighter, and what’s more, he’s not above fighting dirty. I’m sure he’ll pull through.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, not trusting her voice.
She was allowed to be happy. Such simple words, yet they seemed to upend her whole world. How Lorne had managed to not only hear what she had been trying to say, rather than the actual words, but also refute her fears at the same time she’d never know. It was probably the whole ‘Empath’ demon thing. Whatever the case, she was grateful. And oddly hopeful.
***
Almost five hours after he had collapsed, Spike gasped back to life.
Lorne had gone for a lie-down — he had started to nod off, and Buffy had marched him into the room next door, pointing out that it was nearly sun rise and Nina would be human again soon, and honestly she’d be fine for a few minutes.
Scrambling to a sitting position, Spike saw her and stopped.
Before she could speak he reached out and took hold of her hand, the intense look on his face silencing her.
“Buffy, please: Tell me you love Angel?”
Of all the questions she had expected, this was the last.
“I am deathly serious. Buffy, you said I had no idea what you were willing to do for him — I hope you were right.”
“I don’t understand,” she replied, “What does Angel have to do with anything? Are you OK? What happened?”
He stopped for a moment, as if not quite sure where he was, looking around the room.
“That was- The Powers’ way of having a chat. And they offered me… the Shanshu.”
She inhaled sharply, but he shook his head, a strangely triumphant glow in his eyes.
“And I turned it down.”
***
***
There was a long moment of silence, then he continued: “I figured out that I had one over them, could choose the terms. So I did. And Buffy, I love you, I love you more than life itself, but I couldn’t — I couldn’t leave him with The First. Couldn’t have a life with you if I knew that he had to suffer forever as part of the bargain.”
“I understand.” She squeezed his hand, a slow, almost luminous, smile lighting up her face. “And thank you. I couldn’t have lived like that either. Plus, I kinda like you just the way you are.”
Impulsively he kissed her (he’d hoped for this reaction, but his hopes didn’t often overlap with reality), but as the broke apart her eyes turned speculative.
“So, what now?” she asked.
Spike scratched his head.
“Dunno. Woke back up. Guy didn’t elaborate, so…”
He vaguely looked around, as if expecting Angel to appear out of thin air.
“Guess I never said anything about now. Or where…”
***
Nina slowly came to, the concrete floor cold against her naked skin. Mind fuzzy she sat up, feeling as if there was something else, something different…
Slowly adjusting her vision (where had she put the key? And her clothes should be…) she suddenly sat up straight, staring in disbelief.
Some distance away, on top of the now somewhat faded Aurelius symbol, lay a naked Angel.
Epilogue on LJ
Epilogue on DW
Can also be found on AO3.
I really hope you like this chapter, it refused to come together. And then there's only the Epilogue left and it's all done!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: Teen. (Same warnings as the show basically.)
Characters: Spike, Angel, Illyria, Buffy, Scoobies + cameos from more or less everyone in the 'verse.
Main Ships: Spike/Buffy, Angel/Nina
Feedback: Is bloody ambrosia! (The secret ingredient is otter...)
Word count (this chapter): 1800 words
Setting and Summary: As before. (Post-NFA epic quest thing.)
Beta: The ever wonderful
kathyhBuffy felt a tap on her shoulder, but when she turned there was no one there.
Maybe she was just imagining things…
Briefly burying her head in her hands she wondered what to do now. What had happened? The visions were painful, but somehow Spike screaming and clutching his head was just… normal. She had never thought about whether there might be side effects — after all the chip had deteriorated, maybe the visions were harming him? Or maybe it was Something Else, someone wanting vengeance? Or…
The possibilities were too many to worry about, first of all she needed to get Spike home.
Standing up, she tried to assess the situation. She could carry him she supposed, but it was a long way and she wasn’t keen on hauling a dead weight around. Getting out her phone, she scrolled through the contacts, eventually (and somewhat reluctantly) calling Harmony. How she could afford to keep a car on what they were paying her Buffy didn’t know (nor cared about), but right now it was very useful.
“Buffy? If it’s about that guy I was kinda necking yesterday, then like I told Spike, he asked me to, it was for this ting-”
“Shut up Harmony, I am calling because — because I need a favour.”
Buffy could almost hear the pout.
“If this is another apocalypse-”
“Harmony! Spike’s collapsed, I need to get him back to the hotel. If I tell you where we are, can you help?”
“I guess…”
Whilst waiting for Harmony to arrive, Buffy called Giles. Thankfully it was early morning in London and Giles had already had a cup of coffee, so he was marginally less snippy than he might otherwise have been, although that wasn’t saying much. He had never said it outright, but Buffy knew he resented Spike for ‘stealing’ her away to LA.
“I’m sorry Buffy, but what exactly is it that you want me to actually do?”
“Just look into whether there is anything mystical happening that could have caused this.”
“And he is in… a coma?”
She wanted to throw something in frustration.
“I guess? Giles, please!”
“Very well. I’ll let you know if we find anything.”
Hanging up, she sat back down next to Spike, brushing a white-blond lock away from his face. He looked… peaceful. Calm. Like he was asleep. A sleeping beauty…
Feeling a little foolish, but figuring it was worth trying, she kissed him. Just in case. But still nothing. Just a dead body.
Her mind was going in circles — the cases he had taken recently, had there been anything weird? Unhappy clients? Or further back…
Biting the bullet (any port in a storm) she dialled Eve’s number.
Eve was of course very annoyed at being woken ’in the middle of the night’ (Buffy bit back a comment about it being 1am, ‘middle’ was hardly accurate unless Eve went to bed at 6pm with a cup of hot milk), and was deeply uninterested in Spike’s condition.
“Eve, I just want to know if you have heard anything about any disgruntled Wolfram & Hart people who might have it in for Spike. Or me.”
“Why do you think they would tell me of all people?” Eve asked, and Buffy shook her head.
“I don’t know. I just thought maybe you would care — anyone coming after us might come for you too.”
This at least made an impact as Eve went quiet, then said “I’ll get back to you”, and hung up.
Leaving Buffy alone again, fighting against unspoken, unknowable fear. Give her something to punch, and she’d be fine. But this… nothingness was impossible to deal with.
Thankfully Harmony then arrived, and was so annoying that she made Buffy forget about being worried.
She complained about being dragged out so late, about Spike being heavy, about David not calling her back, about Eve being a bitch and Adam being an annoying puppy and one of her friends who had borrowed her top and gotten red wine on it and now it was ruined and surely helping Buffy tonight counted as overtime, or at the very least she could get some kind of bonus in her wage packet, right?
Biting her tongue until they were back in the Hyperion, Buffy curtly pointed out that without Spike Harmony would have to look for a new job, so to view the night’s helping hand as an investment — or maybe as a contribution to a good cause?
Alternatively Buffy could just stake her, and then they wouldn’t have to pay her at all!
Harmony tossed her hair, and sniffed that there was no need to be like that, and that none of them appreciated her and maybe she’d go find another job and then they’d all be sorry.
Buffy congratulated herself on letting Harmony leave by the door and not throwing her out of a window.
She didn’t feel so flippant once she was alone.
Spike’s complete stillness was unnerving. She had gotten him into bed (only removing his boots) and found herself in silent vigil at his side.
Neither Giles nor Eve were getting back to her and Willow wasn’t answering her phone, and although there had been that nice warlock they’d met last year, she wasn’t sure if she’d trust him with Spike’s life…
Plus it was a wolf-y night, so Nina was all growly in the basement and unable to provide any kind of support or advice. So instead Buffy just sat by Spike’s side, waiting for a miracle.
Except after ten minutes she started pacing. This was no good. Who hadn’t she tried?
The answer was almost immediate, and not much later Lorne was running up the stairs, dressed in the shiniest pink suit she had ever seen.
“My little crème brûlée, what happened?”
As she described the events of the evening, Lorne slowly walked up to Spike and studied him silently.
“Now, this is going back a few years, but something similar happened to Cordy once…”
Buffy almost laughed in relief. Why hadn’t she called Lorne straight away?
“And?”
“Well, Cordelia was only human, the visions were taking their toll, and she was basically at death’s door. One more vision and she’d be a goner. Didn’t tell any of us of course, just carried on being stupidly brave. Except during her coma she made a deal of some sort and became part-demon, so she could keep the visions…”
Something wasn’t adding up, and Buffy frowned.
“But Spike’s all demon…”
Lorne spread his hands.
“Indeed. So, whatever this is…”
“Is something else again.”
She collapsed on a chair, staring forlornly at the immobile figure on the bed.
“Why can I never catch a break?”
Taking a seat next to her, Lorne patted her shoulder.
“Well, you could try to conjure up our favourite Blue Wonder, I’m sure she’d love to do a Lazarus trick.”
She smiled despite herself.
“Nice idea, but Spike tried contacting Illyria last year, and that was a dead end.”
A pause, as they just sat in the half-light, the lamp beside the bed casting a soft golden glow around the dark room.
“Right then, alcohol or coffee?” Lorne asked, and Buffy felt gratitude welling up. Just to have someone there made all the difference in the world.
“Coffee. And just… thank you.”
“Thank you, Princess. You gave me another shot at… Trying to get life right. I’ll get us some coffee, and then we can have a proper catch-up while we wait for Sleeping Beauty to wake up.”
Then he raised an eyebrow, adding:
“Don’t suppose you’ve tried to kiss him to wake him up?”
She bit her lip.
“… Yes.”
A chuckle.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And hey, those are very kissable kips, we’re all jealous you know.”
Coffee was good. As was someone to talk to. Lorne could both tell a story and also listen, and she found herself unburdening more than expected, stripping back the many layers of hers and Spike’s history; the fights, the pain, the hope, the love…
“I guess, it’s just the fact of seeing him like this… It’s like…” she searched for words, like stepping into unknown terrain. “Like we’re constantly living on borrowed time? I was supposed to die at sixteen… Well, I did die, and then I died again some years later and Spike sacrificed himself in the Hellmouth and — I keep expecting something like this? Not this exact thing, the coma-out-of-nowhere is just weird, but that something could happen, y’know?”
She gripped the cup more tightly, staring at Spike’s immobile form with unseeing eyes.
“We could die, either of us, any day. We slip up, that’s it. And that’s my life, I don’t think I know any other way to live now. Except there’s this big prophecy thing where he might get to be human and… I’m supposed to want that, like a ‘real’ life and children and settling down. But what if I don’t? What if… this is settling down, for me? I think…”
Glancing at Lorne she saw those sympathetic red eyes watching her silently, and somehow found the strength to continue. She really wasn’t good at talking about all this, but she could at least try.
“I think I’m happy? It kinda wigs me out saying it, but it’s like I’m finally in control of my life again, without running away or trying to please other people or having to be something I’m not. And I am so scared that it’ll get taken away…”
Her eyes were burning and then there was an arm around her shoulders.
“Shhh, my little Shield Maiden. You’re allowed to be happy. Trust old Lorne, and trust your Peroxide Prince. He’s a fighter, and what’s more, he’s not above fighting dirty. I’m sure he’ll pull through.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, not trusting her voice.
She was allowed to be happy. Such simple words, yet they seemed to upend her whole world. How Lorne had managed to not only hear what she had been trying to say, rather than the actual words, but also refute her fears at the same time she’d never know. It was probably the whole ‘Empath’ demon thing. Whatever the case, she was grateful. And oddly hopeful.
Almost five hours after he had collapsed, Spike gasped back to life.
Lorne had gone for a lie-down — he had started to nod off, and Buffy had marched him into the room next door, pointing out that it was nearly sun rise and Nina would be human again soon, and honestly she’d be fine for a few minutes.
Scrambling to a sitting position, Spike saw her and stopped.
Before she could speak he reached out and took hold of her hand, the intense look on his face silencing her.
“Buffy, please: Tell me you love Angel?”
Of all the questions she had expected, this was the last.
“I am deathly serious. Buffy, you said I had no idea what you were willing to do for him — I hope you were right.”
“I don’t understand,” she replied, “What does Angel have to do with anything? Are you OK? What happened?”
He stopped for a moment, as if not quite sure where he was, looking around the room.
“That was- The Powers’ way of having a chat. And they offered me… the Shanshu.”
She inhaled sharply, but he shook his head, a strangely triumphant glow in his eyes.
“And I turned it down.”
Doyle lifted his pint in salute:
“In short — I am here to tell you: the Shanshu is yours. Congratulations Champion, and welcome to humanity.”
The initial shock took a while to sink in, but then Spike shook his head.
“Well then mate, best let them know that I’m not interested.”
Doyle’s eyebrows went to almost comical heights.
“Not interested?”
“Nope. They can keep their Shanshu, give it to Harmony, I don’t care.”
Doyle was now slowly shaking his head, utterly thrown.
“And what makes you think you have a choice?”
Leaning back, Spike folded his arms, smirking.
“The fact that I’m here. The fact that they bent the rules so they could make their stupid prophecy fit. Well, I’m not playing. I’m tired of being pushed back and forth, and I’m not very impressed by their planning. Or lack of same, rather. It’s their catch-22, not mine, so I reckon I’ve got leverage. Besides, if they didn’t need consent, no reason to go to all this trouble-” he held out his hand, indicating their surroundings. “Just turn me human and be done with it, yes?”
“You are… not wrong,” Doyle eventually replied. “What do you want?”
Spike stopped then, before slowly replying. He’d never thought about it, and yet there was no hesitation as he began laying out his terms.
“I want Angel back. For good. This whole bleedin’ mess is all thanks to this stupid destiny stuff which got divided in half so nothing fits. Well I don’t care where you put us, heaven or hell or bloody Cleveland, as long as we’re together, understood?”
And then he’d realised that Doyle had tears in his eyes (bloody Irish! Too sentimental by far), and a second later he found himself hugged fiercely by… Cordelia?
“Told you he’d come through!” she said (presumably to Doyle) and then studied Spike with that no-nonsense look he still remembered very clearly.
“Angel told me you’d become a Champion, but I never really believed him. Thank you for proving him right. And be sure to tell him I’m still keeping tabs!”
And then everything faded away, as he was jolted back into awareness, in his bed, and saw Buffy… And realised exactly what he’d done.
There was a long moment of silence, then he continued: “I figured out that I had one over them, could choose the terms. So I did. And Buffy, I love you, I love you more than life itself, but I couldn’t — I couldn’t leave him with The First. Couldn’t have a life with you if I knew that he had to suffer forever as part of the bargain.”
“I understand.” She squeezed his hand, a slow, almost luminous, smile lighting up her face. “And thank you. I couldn’t have lived like that either. Plus, I kinda like you just the way you are.”
Impulsively he kissed her (he’d hoped for this reaction, but his hopes didn’t often overlap with reality), but as the broke apart her eyes turned speculative.
“So, what now?” she asked.
Spike scratched his head.
“Dunno. Woke back up. Guy didn’t elaborate, so…”
He vaguely looked around, as if expecting Angel to appear out of thin air.
“Guess I never said anything about now. Or where…”
Nina slowly came to, the concrete floor cold against her naked skin. Mind fuzzy she sat up, feeling as if there was something else, something different…
Slowly adjusting her vision (where had she put the key? And her clothes should be…) she suddenly sat up straight, staring in disbelief.
Some distance away, on top of the now somewhat faded Aurelius symbol, lay a naked Angel.
Epilogue on LJ
Epilogue on DW
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For some reason this chapter refused to really work for... ages and ages (literally found a fix, like half an hour before posting), so I am thrilled that you liked it!
And re. the cliffhanger, then for AGES I didn't know how Angel was going to come back - I mean I knew that Spike would turn down the Shanshu etc, but physically HOW to bring Angel back was... a blank. But then I sneakily added the Aurelius symbol earlier on, and figured he'd come back the same way he did in S3!
As always, thank you for reading. ♥