Yay! Birthday!
My internet works!!! *cheers* (It was dead all morning and we've been out all afternoon!)
First I must say a big THANK YOU to the lovely anonymous person who gave me a box of virtual chocolates and a wonderful note. Which really, really made my day and got me all choked up. *smooches you whoever you are* What did I do before I found LJ?
Which nicely leads me onto reason #2 for this post: It's![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kathyh's birthday!!! I am so immensely grateful to have met you, and I couldn't imagine online life without you - funny, intelligent, full of fandom love, a brilliant beta, and of course an incredibly talented icon maker to boot! I wish you a fabulously HAPPY DAY with all good things - and - because a tiny bunny slunk into the office yesterday, you also get a little birthday fic! Be warned though, that it is possibly the most angsty birthday fic ever, since it is set at the very end of 'Tabula Rasa'. Unbeta'd and probably awful, but hopefully better than nothing.
Giles disliked flying. Mostly because his ears always blocked up, and he on principle refused to put chewing gum in his mouth. But since swallowing was necessary, he asked the stewardess for a gin and tonic. It was a long flight and whiskey would get him drunk too quickly. Although that might not be a bad thing...
Tiredly he rubbed his eyes. Hopefully this would be his last flight in quite a while - he’d not made any promises of returning soon, even though he had seen the quiet pleading in Buffy’s eyes, somewhere behind the anger. And before he could change his mind she’d walked off, a ‘goodbye’ dying on his lips.
The subdued farewell scene played itself out again in his mind, as the cool drink spread out inside him, like magic creating warmth in its path. Anya had been too embarrassed still to say anything much, and Xander had merely shaken his hand. Tara... Tara had been very quiet. Unusually so, and she and Willow had barely looked at each other. He’d managed to have a word with Willow in private earlier on, after he’d found out about the spell, asking her what on earth she’d been playing at. She’d been an odd mixture of defiant and shameful, saying that she’d just wanted to make Buffy happy again and had meant no harm.
He shook his head. He was a bit worried of course, but she seemed to have understood her failing - especially when he’d pointed out that Xander had aimed for almost the same thing when summoning their dancing dervish, and that one quite simply couldn’t force people to be happy. No, he wasn’t too worried about Willow - especially when she had Tara as a good, steadying influence. Willow just needed to take a little step back as he’d suggested.
And at Revello Drive, Tara silently carried her belongings out of the house - parcelling up her pain inside like so many storage boxes, ready to be dealt with later.
Now Buffy... however much Giles tried, his thoughts kept coming back to Buffy. And for the millionth time he wondered if he was doing the right thing. His thoughts strayed back over the years, and kept coming back to the same images - Buffy, battered or bruised, nearly vanquished, springing into action with defiance in her heart. Every time she had come out fighting, no matter the foe. He had been wondering, as he bought the tickets, if maybe this time was different, but after seeing her so joyfully embrace her power as Joan, he knew that she was still the same somewhere inside. And he was not the one who could show her the way - he had always just stood on the sidelines cheering her on. A Watcher had to push his Slayer, and this was the only way he could see. She had carried a lot of heavy burdens in her life, but he had seen her strength time and time again. He was sure this time would be no different.
And as the aeroplane disappeared into the night’s sky, Buffy was losing herself in a vampire’s kiss. The world of the living had let her down again, and she had nowhere else to go.
So she tried to wrap herself up in the beauty and devotion of her undead consort, hoping against hope that he could somehow make her forget the pain she carried within her - pain that threatened to burn away everything inside. All she knew was that he would not leave her, no matter what, and she needed him to be there - happiness and peace were as distant as the stars in the sky, but his kiss tasted of oblivion and his hands held her so tightly that maybe, maybe she wouldn’t fall.
First I must say a big THANK YOU to the lovely anonymous person who gave me a box of virtual chocolates and a wonderful note. Which really, really made my day and got me all choked up. *smooches you whoever you are* What did I do before I found LJ?
Which nicely leads me onto reason #2 for this post: It's
kathyh's birthday!!! I am so immensely grateful to have met you, and I couldn't imagine online life without you - funny, intelligent, full of fandom love, a brilliant beta, and of course an incredibly talented icon maker to boot! I wish you a fabulously HAPPY DAY with all good things - and - because a tiny bunny slunk into the office yesterday, you also get a little birthday fic! Be warned though, that it is possibly the most angsty birthday fic ever, since it is set at the very end of 'Tabula Rasa'. Unbeta'd and probably awful, but hopefully better than nothing.Goodbye to you, Sunnydale
Giles disliked flying. Mostly because his ears always blocked up, and he on principle refused to put chewing gum in his mouth. But since swallowing was necessary, he asked the stewardess for a gin and tonic. It was a long flight and whiskey would get him drunk too quickly. Although that might not be a bad thing...
Tiredly he rubbed his eyes. Hopefully this would be his last flight in quite a while - he’d not made any promises of returning soon, even though he had seen the quiet pleading in Buffy’s eyes, somewhere behind the anger. And before he could change his mind she’d walked off, a ‘goodbye’ dying on his lips.
The subdued farewell scene played itself out again in his mind, as the cool drink spread out inside him, like magic creating warmth in its path. Anya had been too embarrassed still to say anything much, and Xander had merely shaken his hand. Tara... Tara had been very quiet. Unusually so, and she and Willow had barely looked at each other. He’d managed to have a word with Willow in private earlier on, after he’d found out about the spell, asking her what on earth she’d been playing at. She’d been an odd mixture of defiant and shameful, saying that she’d just wanted to make Buffy happy again and had meant no harm.
He shook his head. He was a bit worried of course, but she seemed to have understood her failing - especially when he’d pointed out that Xander had aimed for almost the same thing when summoning their dancing dervish, and that one quite simply couldn’t force people to be happy. No, he wasn’t too worried about Willow - especially when she had Tara as a good, steadying influence. Willow just needed to take a little step back as he’d suggested.
And at Revello Drive, Tara silently carried her belongings out of the house - parcelling up her pain inside like so many storage boxes, ready to be dealt with later.
Now Buffy... however much Giles tried, his thoughts kept coming back to Buffy. And for the millionth time he wondered if he was doing the right thing. His thoughts strayed back over the years, and kept coming back to the same images - Buffy, battered or bruised, nearly vanquished, springing into action with defiance in her heart. Every time she had come out fighting, no matter the foe. He had been wondering, as he bought the tickets, if maybe this time was different, but after seeing her so joyfully embrace her power as Joan, he knew that she was still the same somewhere inside. And he was not the one who could show her the way - he had always just stood on the sidelines cheering her on. A Watcher had to push his Slayer, and this was the only way he could see. She had carried a lot of heavy burdens in her life, but he had seen her strength time and time again. He was sure this time would be no different.
And as the aeroplane disappeared into the night’s sky, Buffy was losing herself in a vampire’s kiss. The world of the living had let her down again, and she had nowhere else to go.
So she tried to wrap herself up in the beauty and devotion of her undead consort, hoping against hope that he could somehow make her forget the pain she carried within her - pain that threatened to burn away everything inside. All she knew was that he would not leave her, no matter what, and she needed him to be there - happiness and peace were as distant as the stars in the sky, but his kiss tasted of oblivion and his hands held her so tightly that maybe, maybe she wouldn’t fall.
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it is possibly the most angsty birthday fic ever
It may have been angsty, but it was beautifully angsty if you know what I mean. I really liked it. Thank you so much.
In amongst all the angst this bit did make me grin - "Giles disliked flying. Mostly because his ears always blocked up, and he on principle refused to put chewing gum in his mouth." - because that's *exactly* what happens to me!
Many smooches and grateful thanks.
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May the rest of your day be lovely. *many smooches back*
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That is such a beautiful ending, explaining that snog in the Bronze perfectly. Poor - well, poor everyone, really.
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But really - I liked this muchly.
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And thank you for reading - it means a lot.
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No I doubt anyone could have foreseen it! Poor everyone. And thank you. :)
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I'm so glad you liked the fic - I think there were probably several reasons why Giles left (including an unwillingness to maybe watch Buffy die again), but this one seemed to fit quite well. Although the bit about Joan came from someone else - I remember reading it, maybe in
*hugs you back*
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*melts* this line is just beautiful ... love the interpersion of Sunnydale with Giles' musing - and I do believe he really thought he was doing the right thing for Buffy, which you captured brilliantly
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And it's one of those times where someone is so very wrong, and yet they can't see it... I do so love the tragicness of S6!
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Very well done - enjoyed that :)
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Thank you for the kind words, it was nice to flex my fic muscles again - I think I'll try to concentrate on that now! (Except that I want to watch 'Tabula Rasa' instead...)
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