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Moar New fic!
The show is KILLING me, so I’m writing crack!fic. And discovered that Eleven is interesting and a little tricky to write, but very rewarding, and that Amy is the most fun to write ever! (Oh Amy, I ♥ you too much for words!) Also I love how, just by being their fabulous selves, they come across as completely mad. :) Rory of course is a sweetheart, and River continues to be awesome, because that's just the way she rolls.
Also - many thank you's to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kathyh for the thumbs up! Chapter 1 here.
I hope you enjoy! \o/ <- that is my Eleventy impression. ;)
Title: And Then The TARDIS Fell Into Pete’s World.
Rating: PG
Characters: TenToo, Rose, Eleven, Amy, Rory, River. (Possibly more as the story progresses.)
Genre: AU crack!fic.
Spoilers: The Big Bang. (All of S5!)
Summary: The TARDIS falls into Pete’s World. Stuff happens. (I don’t know yet. It’s a thing in progress. Respect the thing.)
Wordcount: Approx 1600 words.
Chapter 2
Rose, speechless and incredulous, slowly turned to her Doctor, waiting for the inevitable outburst that she knew was coming. The odd traces of Donna-ness in his nature were often a headache, but right now she was looking forward to the verbal dressing-down that would surely follow.
Except he didn’t look ready to shout at anyone - quite the opposite in fact. He was staring at the mysterious woman as if he’d seen a ghost, face pale and voice almost shaking as he whispered, “River?”
River chuckled appreciatively.
“The one and only. But - we’re in a bit of a fix, and apparently you’re rather... handy!”
She raised an eyebrow and let her eyes travel over the Doctor in a way that made Rose want to shake her.
Then she abruptly turned and fixed her eyes on Rose.
“And you must be Rose - I’ve heard all about you!”
She blinked. “You have?”
“Oh absolutely. Doctor River Song by the way. It’s an honour.”
She held out a hand, and Rose shook it automatically, her antagonism turning to confusion.
Then River shifted to the side.
“But come in! Although I should probably warn you - it’s bigger on the inside!”
She winked, so self-assured and teasing that Rose couldn’t help glaring as she stepped over the threshold - only to be stopped in her tracks by the sight that greeted her. It was bigger. Huge, as a matter of fact, with gleaming copper-like walls and a new time rotor and levels and stairs...
Stairs. At the top of which stood a gangly, odd-looking young man, with a floppy fringe and a bow tie, arms spread out wide like he was the Y in a rendition of YMCA. Next to him were a young man and woman, leaning against the railings, but the peculiar one was the one who demanded their attention.
“Benevenuto! Welcome!” he exclaimed, before ambling down the stairs, beaming.
“Oh the looks on your faces! This. is. priceless!”
Rose stared, mind oddly blank.
“...Doctor?”
The next second she found herself and her own Doctor wrapped up in a big hug.
“That’s me! Oh, it is good to see you!” the odd New Doctor said, pulling back - one hand on Rose’s shoulder, and one on her Doctor’s - looking from one to the other, eyes bright and curious and happy, as if they’d never been brown and silently longing...
“So how are you? Married? Children? How long has it been for you?”
“’Bout two years?” Rose’s Doctor replied, completely unfazed. “And married, yes, children, no - although we have talked about it...”
He turned his head, catching Rose’s eyes, and smiled in that way that made her feel like all the air had been sucked out of her.
A small incredulous noise escaped River.
“OK now I believe he’s human!” she said, shaking her head, disbelief written all over her face, and looking at Rose’s Doctor like he had suddenly grown another head.
The New Doctor just laughed.
“Excellent. I have to admit I was a tiny bit worried whether you’d manage to work things out, but it is lovely to see how well you’re doing. Which reminds me-”
He took a step back, hands in pockets, and stood up as tall as he could, obviously posing.
“What do you think? Still not ginger, of course, but not bad overall I think you’ll agree. And the ears stayed a decent size!”
Rose looked him over and tried to find the right words - words that didn’t include ‘I am now even more painfully, impossibly, grateful that you didn’t regenerate last time we met and I suddenly love my Doctor even more than before...’, when thankfully her Doctor came to the rescue, pulling one of those ‘Time to tread carefully’ faces that he usually only used when talking to her mother.
“Um... Not bad. Very youthful, although no vegetable this time...”
He was cut off when the New Doctor abruptly cut in.
“Ah! A Timey-Wimey Detector!”
“New And Improved Timey-Wimey Detector, actually,” Rose’s Doctor said, holding it up, and the New Doctor grasped it excitedly.
“Ve-ry clever! Does it go ping when there’s stuff?”
Rose’s Doctor did his side-to-side head-bop thing, as he tried to work out a reply.
“Weeeell, it’s more a sort of a ‘bung’, really. But you see I added light up buttons and a screen, so it’s much more specific - we’ve managed to catch up with about 98% of time travellers since I got it up and running...”
The New Doctor started looking it over, almost cooing as he nodded along to Rose’s Doctor’s explanations, until a not-very-subtle cough behind him caught his attention.
“So Doctor, are we just going to stand here all day, or are you actually going to introduce us?”
The young couple had descended the stairs, and the girl - a determined-looking redhead with a Scottish accent and a very short mini skirt - was obviously getting impatient. The new Doctor waved the New And Improved Timey-Wimey Detector around.
“Yes of course. Sorry. Sorry. Amy, Rory - please say hello to Rose Tyler and the Doctor. Doctor, Rose - this is Amy and Rory Pond.”
“Nice to meet you,” Rose said, trying to smile and suddenly knowing exactly how Sarah Jane had felt, and Amy nodded a polite and somewhat stifled, “You too!” and then there was a general shaking of hands all around, before Amy turned to New Doctor again, eyes narrowing.
“So - how come you never mentioned that you have a half-human clone of a previous you living in a parallel world?”
The New Doctor looked a little bashful and defensive.
“Well it... never came up until now. Nine hundred and seven, remember. I’ve been a lot of people and a lot of things have happened to me.”
Amy seemed to accept this, then tilted her head, studying Rose’s Doctor.
“But seriously, that’s what you used to look like? Really?”
She looked rather sceptical, and the New Doctor nodded, before suddenly trying to hit himself on the forehead and nearly getting a face full of New And Improved Timey-Wimey Detector. Looking at it stupidly for a moment he tossed it at River with a “Catch!”, which she did flawlessly and then started making appreciative noises as she began examining it.
But the New Doctor clapped his hands together and then nearly stabbed Rose’s Doctor in the chest.
“Take off your jacket!”
“What?”
“Go on - trust me!”
The New Doctor’s eyes were brimming with excitement, and after a moment Rose’s Doctor pulled off his jacket, clearly trying to work out where his other self was going with this and not being able to.
Taking the jacket out of his hands the New Doctor threw out his other arm towards Rose’s Doctor with ‘Look at me, aren’t I clever?’ written all over his face (an expression that apparently didn’t change from body to body) and announced:
“And I give you... The Raggedy Doctor. Except minus the Raggedy!”
This made no sense whatsoever to Rose, but the effect on Amy and Rory was unmistakable. Amy threw a hand over her mouth, her eyes widening quite improbably, and Rory looked shellshocked, pointing at Rose’s Doctor with a shaky finger.
“OK, that is... freaky. And kinda creepy. And... and weird. How-”
Amy wasn’t listening. Instead she was circling Rose’s Doctor, studying him like he was some strange new creature never seen before.
“Doctor. Explain!” she then demanded, and the New Doctor smiled at her.
“Well I crashed into your garden mere moments after I regenerated. Still cooking, remember? The clothes got torn because the TARDIS started to break apart.”
“So those were the clothes you died in?” Amy asked, looking from one Doctor to the other, and the New Doctor pulled an impatient sort of face.
“Well if you want to macabre about it, yes.”
“How...?” Rose’s Doctor cut in, eyes dark and sympathetic, and the New Doctor looked at him silently for a long moment before answering.
“Radiation.”
Rose’s Doctor winced. “Again?”
“Again?” Rose echoed, and the New Doctor sighed.
“Look we are not getting in to all the ways in which I died, understood? It’s... not important.”
Rose nodded, somewhat taken aback at the brusque tone. Much more like her first Doctor, when he’d been in a mood...
“Actually,” Amy said, “if I may change the subject? How come you were re-born... or... ‘regenererated’, whatever, without a dress sense? I thought it was just an alien thing, but clearly that’s not the case.”
“I’m sorry?” the New Doctor asked, looking genuinely puzzled.
“He-” she pointed at Rose’s Doctor, “-is a fox! You dress like a Geography teacher!”
“She’s right, you know,” River remarked, looking up briefly before getting distracted again by what was clearly her favourite new toy.
“Bow ties are cool!” The New Doctor announced breezily and authoritatively, as Rose’s Doctor smiled smugly (such a peacock!), and Amy rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air, her frustration palpable.
“It’s not just the bow tie! It’s... everything. I mean you’ve got assets, you’re just not... showcasing them.”
“...assets?” Rose couldn’t help asking, and Amy raised an eyebrow.
“Oh you should see him naked. No really!”
Rose could feel her jaw drop as she stared incredulously at them both, barely registering River’s low chuckle.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Rory - that Rose had almost forgotten - coughed.
“He... was getting changed in a hurry, and there was nowhere to... well... And Amy...”
“Amy-” the girl in question cut in, “-doesn’t turn her back on a free show!”
Before Rose could think of an even half appropriate response to this, a dull, ominous clanging rang out.
She turned to her Doctor and they looked at each other in alarm, but the New Doctor merely held up a finger as if he’d been expecting this, and then proved that apparently he was incapable of speaking in anything except riddles as he smiled:
“And there we are. Five minutes to Belgium!”
Chapter 3.
Also - many thank you's to
kathyh for the thumbs up! Chapter 1 here.I hope you enjoy! \o/ <- that is my Eleventy impression. ;)
Title: And Then The TARDIS Fell Into Pete’s World.
Rating: PG
Characters: TenToo, Rose, Eleven, Amy, Rory, River. (Possibly more as the story progresses.)
Genre: AU crack!fic.
Spoilers: The Big Bang. (All of S5!)
Summary: The TARDIS falls into Pete’s World. Stuff happens. (I don’t know yet. It’s a thing in progress. Respect the thing.)
Wordcount: Approx 1600 words.
Rose, speechless and incredulous, slowly turned to her Doctor, waiting for the inevitable outburst that she knew was coming. The odd traces of Donna-ness in his nature were often a headache, but right now she was looking forward to the verbal dressing-down that would surely follow.
Except he didn’t look ready to shout at anyone - quite the opposite in fact. He was staring at the mysterious woman as if he’d seen a ghost, face pale and voice almost shaking as he whispered, “River?”
River chuckled appreciatively.
“The one and only. But - we’re in a bit of a fix, and apparently you’re rather... handy!”
She raised an eyebrow and let her eyes travel over the Doctor in a way that made Rose want to shake her.
Then she abruptly turned and fixed her eyes on Rose.
“And you must be Rose - I’ve heard all about you!”
She blinked. “You have?”
“Oh absolutely. Doctor River Song by the way. It’s an honour.”
She held out a hand, and Rose shook it automatically, her antagonism turning to confusion.
Then River shifted to the side.
“But come in! Although I should probably warn you - it’s bigger on the inside!”
She winked, so self-assured and teasing that Rose couldn’t help glaring as she stepped over the threshold - only to be stopped in her tracks by the sight that greeted her. It was bigger. Huge, as a matter of fact, with gleaming copper-like walls and a new time rotor and levels and stairs...
Stairs. At the top of which stood a gangly, odd-looking young man, with a floppy fringe and a bow tie, arms spread out wide like he was the Y in a rendition of YMCA. Next to him were a young man and woman, leaning against the railings, but the peculiar one was the one who demanded their attention.
“Benevenuto! Welcome!” he exclaimed, before ambling down the stairs, beaming.
“Oh the looks on your faces! This. is. priceless!”
Rose stared, mind oddly blank.
“...Doctor?”
The next second she found herself and her own Doctor wrapped up in a big hug.
“That’s me! Oh, it is good to see you!” the odd New Doctor said, pulling back - one hand on Rose’s shoulder, and one on her Doctor’s - looking from one to the other, eyes bright and curious and happy, as if they’d never been brown and silently longing...
“So how are you? Married? Children? How long has it been for you?”
“’Bout two years?” Rose’s Doctor replied, completely unfazed. “And married, yes, children, no - although we have talked about it...”
He turned his head, catching Rose’s eyes, and smiled in that way that made her feel like all the air had been sucked out of her.
A small incredulous noise escaped River.
“OK now I believe he’s human!” she said, shaking her head, disbelief written all over her face, and looking at Rose’s Doctor like he had suddenly grown another head.
The New Doctor just laughed.
“Excellent. I have to admit I was a tiny bit worried whether you’d manage to work things out, but it is lovely to see how well you’re doing. Which reminds me-”
He took a step back, hands in pockets, and stood up as tall as he could, obviously posing.
“What do you think? Still not ginger, of course, but not bad overall I think you’ll agree. And the ears stayed a decent size!”
Rose looked him over and tried to find the right words - words that didn’t include ‘I am now even more painfully, impossibly, grateful that you didn’t regenerate last time we met and I suddenly love my Doctor even more than before...’, when thankfully her Doctor came to the rescue, pulling one of those ‘Time to tread carefully’ faces that he usually only used when talking to her mother.
“Um... Not bad. Very youthful, although no vegetable this time...”
He was cut off when the New Doctor abruptly cut in.
“Ah! A Timey-Wimey Detector!”
“New And Improved Timey-Wimey Detector, actually,” Rose’s Doctor said, holding it up, and the New Doctor grasped it excitedly.
“Ve-ry clever! Does it go ping when there’s stuff?”
Rose’s Doctor did his side-to-side head-bop thing, as he tried to work out a reply.
“Weeeell, it’s more a sort of a ‘bung’, really. But you see I added light up buttons and a screen, so it’s much more specific - we’ve managed to catch up with about 98% of time travellers since I got it up and running...”
The New Doctor started looking it over, almost cooing as he nodded along to Rose’s Doctor’s explanations, until a not-very-subtle cough behind him caught his attention.
“So Doctor, are we just going to stand here all day, or are you actually going to introduce us?”
The young couple had descended the stairs, and the girl - a determined-looking redhead with a Scottish accent and a very short mini skirt - was obviously getting impatient. The new Doctor waved the New And Improved Timey-Wimey Detector around.
“Yes of course. Sorry. Sorry. Amy, Rory - please say hello to Rose Tyler and the Doctor. Doctor, Rose - this is Amy and Rory Pond.”
“Nice to meet you,” Rose said, trying to smile and suddenly knowing exactly how Sarah Jane had felt, and Amy nodded a polite and somewhat stifled, “You too!” and then there was a general shaking of hands all around, before Amy turned to New Doctor again, eyes narrowing.
“So - how come you never mentioned that you have a half-human clone of a previous you living in a parallel world?”
The New Doctor looked a little bashful and defensive.
“Well it... never came up until now. Nine hundred and seven, remember. I’ve been a lot of people and a lot of things have happened to me.”
Amy seemed to accept this, then tilted her head, studying Rose’s Doctor.
“But seriously, that’s what you used to look like? Really?”
She looked rather sceptical, and the New Doctor nodded, before suddenly trying to hit himself on the forehead and nearly getting a face full of New And Improved Timey-Wimey Detector. Looking at it stupidly for a moment he tossed it at River with a “Catch!”, which she did flawlessly and then started making appreciative noises as she began examining it.
But the New Doctor clapped his hands together and then nearly stabbed Rose’s Doctor in the chest.
“Take off your jacket!”
“What?”
“Go on - trust me!”
The New Doctor’s eyes were brimming with excitement, and after a moment Rose’s Doctor pulled off his jacket, clearly trying to work out where his other self was going with this and not being able to.
Taking the jacket out of his hands the New Doctor threw out his other arm towards Rose’s Doctor with ‘Look at me, aren’t I clever?’ written all over his face (an expression that apparently didn’t change from body to body) and announced:
“And I give you... The Raggedy Doctor. Except minus the Raggedy!”
This made no sense whatsoever to Rose, but the effect on Amy and Rory was unmistakable. Amy threw a hand over her mouth, her eyes widening quite improbably, and Rory looked shellshocked, pointing at Rose’s Doctor with a shaky finger.
“OK, that is... freaky. And kinda creepy. And... and weird. How-”
Amy wasn’t listening. Instead she was circling Rose’s Doctor, studying him like he was some strange new creature never seen before.
“Doctor. Explain!” she then demanded, and the New Doctor smiled at her.
“Well I crashed into your garden mere moments after I regenerated. Still cooking, remember? The clothes got torn because the TARDIS started to break apart.”
“So those were the clothes you died in?” Amy asked, looking from one Doctor to the other, and the New Doctor pulled an impatient sort of face.
“Well if you want to macabre about it, yes.”
“How...?” Rose’s Doctor cut in, eyes dark and sympathetic, and the New Doctor looked at him silently for a long moment before answering.
“Radiation.”
Rose’s Doctor winced. “Again?”
“Again?” Rose echoed, and the New Doctor sighed.
“Look we are not getting in to all the ways in which I died, understood? It’s... not important.”
Rose nodded, somewhat taken aback at the brusque tone. Much more like her first Doctor, when he’d been in a mood...
“Actually,” Amy said, “if I may change the subject? How come you were re-born... or... ‘regenererated’, whatever, without a dress sense? I thought it was just an alien thing, but clearly that’s not the case.”
“I’m sorry?” the New Doctor asked, looking genuinely puzzled.
“He-” she pointed at Rose’s Doctor, “-is a fox! You dress like a Geography teacher!”
“She’s right, you know,” River remarked, looking up briefly before getting distracted again by what was clearly her favourite new toy.
“Bow ties are cool!” The New Doctor announced breezily and authoritatively, as Rose’s Doctor smiled smugly (such a peacock!), and Amy rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air, her frustration palpable.
“It’s not just the bow tie! It’s... everything. I mean you’ve got assets, you’re just not... showcasing them.”
“...assets?” Rose couldn’t help asking, and Amy raised an eyebrow.
“Oh you should see him naked. No really!”
Rose could feel her jaw drop as she stared incredulously at them both, barely registering River’s low chuckle.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Rory - that Rose had almost forgotten - coughed.
“He... was getting changed in a hurry, and there was nowhere to... well... And Amy...”
“Amy-” the girl in question cut in, “-doesn’t turn her back on a free show!”
Before Rose could think of an even half appropriate response to this, a dull, ominous clanging rang out.
She turned to her Doctor and they looked at each other in alarm, but the New Doctor merely held up a finger as if he’d been expecting this, and then proved that apparently he was incapable of speaking in anything except riddles as he smiled:
“And there we are. Five minutes to Belgium!”
Chapter 3.