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Fic: Dating the Cleverest Boy in the World. Chapter 6. (Interlude featuring Josh)
OK, here goes. This one has been... tricky. And I'm not 100% satisfied (I had to cut out SO MUCH), but I *need* to let it go. Many thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kathyh for the beta! (All mistakes mine.)
Summary: Allison had always thought that university would be an adventure. But she'd not imagined that she'd end up dating Harold Saxon's son.
Setting: 2025 (AU post-Sound of Drums)
Characters: OCs (many!), the Doctor (10th), Lucy, Jack.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: Approx. 6700 words.
A/N: I didn’t mean to write this. Josh wasn’t supposed to have a love-interest (or his own chapter), but Jamie turned up out of absolutely nowhere and demanded to be written. And to tell Jamie’s story I needed to tell Josh’s. Hope you don’t mind. I’ve done my best to tie it in with the overall story line (and the various themes etc.), and you also get a cameo from Jack. (I've never written a transgendered character before by the way, and offer my most humble apologies for all the fail I have undoubtedly created. Also, pronouns are evil.)
Chapter 6
(Interlude featuring Josh)
Josh was the first of their little trio to hit puberty, age 12 and a half, and it came as very nasty surprise. Overnight he seemed to shoot up, and from having been the littlest and cutest (something he knew how to use to his advantage) he was suddenly the tallest, his body long and unfamiliar and behaving in all sorts of... unexpected ways.
Also there were girls everywhere. Theoretically he knew that they had to have been there all along, but now he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else... Girls, enticing and mysterious and remote (and wearing very short skirts). How did you talk to them? Because you needed to talk before you could do... other things.
Added to all this he became obsessed with his appearance, trying to tame his new body any way he could - and he discovered a new sense of pleasure looking in the mirror and seeing the result of his work.
His friends weren’t much help. Matt seemed to be mostly alarmed, and Alex was even worse, commenting how it was all ‘perfectly normal development’, and would Josh mind explaining how it felt - it was fascinating from a scientific perspective.
Josh threw a book at him (that Alex of course caught, laughing), and sulked. He was very good at sulking. Life wasn’t fair, but at least it couldn’t get any worse. Or so he thought.
Because one day, out of the blue, he developed a crush on Jack.
Until then Jack had just been one of Alex’s family friends... a sort of honorary uncle, who was fun and brilliant and cool beyond words, because he was some kind of secret government agent.
What Josh noticed now, however, was the way Jack’s coat swirled when he turned, the blue of his eyes and the bright radiance of his smile, the way he wrapped his American vowels around words... And it was all wrong. Jack was old - like forty or something - and he was... very much not a girl. It made Josh think of uncomfortable, unwanted words all ending in ‘sexuality’, and Josh lived in perpetual terror that someone would find him out.
So, whenever Jack was round at Alex’s, Josh did his best to be monosyllabic and hid behind his swiftly-growing (and very carefully arranged) hair. Even so he could feel Jack’s eyes bore into him, and suffered a thousand agonies.
Then came the day - he was thirteen and a quarter - when Jack picked them all up from school, ‘since he was in town anyway’, and gave them lifts home - all three of them squeezed into the roomy front seat of the SUV. Alex was first to go (extracting a promise from Jack to come round as soon as possible), and then it was Matt’s turn. It was getting dark, and Josh waved goodbye with a sinking heart before slinking into the corner by the door - as far from Jack as possible.
Pulling back into the road, and tapping Josh’s address into the sat nav, Jack asked the question so casually that at first it didn’t actually register.
“So Josh - has anyone actually ever talked to you about sex?”
Josh went hot and cold and hot again, and seriously contemplated opening the door and jumping out. When he didn’t answer Jack turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
“Didn’t think so. And with your father a nonentity, I thought someone ought to step in. Especially considering...” he stopped, eyes narrowing, “...your specific talents.”
“What... what do you mean?” Josh asked, voice all squeaky, but Jack didn’t seem to notice.
“You’re very smart, and you’re very beautiful. Essentially you’ve won the DNA lottery, but if you don’t know how to use it...”
“I... I’m beautiful?”
The words were more a breath than a question, and he could feel his heart beating very fast all of a sudden.
Jack chuckled.
“Josh - people are going to walk into lamp posts when they see your face. A few years down the line all the girls will be throwing themselves at you. And a lot of the boys too, probably.”
Josh felt like he’d fallen into a parallel universe.
“Really?”
“Oooh yes. Which is why I’m going to talk to you - since I happen to know what life is like when you’re gorgeous and clever, and figure you could do with some help. Also, sex education in schools in this day and age is atrocious.”
They’d hit rush hour - which, since they were in London, of course meant that traffic had slowed to a snail-like pace. Josh listened to Jack with rapt attention, as his new mentor gave him a more unusual guide to life than he could ever have imagined. Best of all Jack appeared to be incapable of embarrassment and was happy to explain anything and everything, even with only the most basic and mortified of prompting. And it was all so useful - what to say to girls (or boys), what not to say, how to deal with rejection or unwelcome attention... a million whys and hows.
Most importantly - and Jack was very firm on that point - it was all good. There was nothing wrong with Josh, no matter what - or who - he liked.
Josh nodded, but avoided Jack’s keen eyes.
As they drew up outside his building a little later, Jack pulled out an envelope from an inside pocket.
“We can talk anytime you like, OK? Remember, you can ask me anything - no question too stupid. And this is for you.”
He handed the envelope over, which bore Josh’s name and the word ‘Private’ in large letters.
“Thank you,” he said, searching for something to convey his gratitude properly. “For... for everything.”
“My pleasure,” Jack replied, blue eyes soft and sparkling, and Josh quickly climbed out of the car before he could say something really stupid, envelope in his hand and bag slung over his shoulder.
In his bedroom, a few breathless minutes later, he opened the letter and pulled out a single piece of paper.
This voucher entitles Joshua Levin to one kiss from Capt Jack Harkness on his sixteenth birthday, or any time thereafter.
CJH
He sat staring at it in silence for so long that his mother came knocking on the door, asking what he was doing. With trembling hands he folded up the paper, wondering how in so few words Jack had managed to communicate so much...
***
Friday Night, the ADC Theatre Bar, Cambridge.
He still had the letter now, almost five years later - tucked away at the very back of his wallet. Like an insurance, or a talisman, or something. A link back to the boy he’d been, and a reminder to always be a class act. Although it was strange to consider how things had changed - and yet not.
Matt and Alex still had less dress sense between them than a bumblebee, and he knew they both thought that he’d ‘let loose’ once they’d arrived at university. This was partly true, since not having his mother and grandmother breathing down his neck all the time was very freeing. Mostly though, the only thing that had really changed was that he’d stopped being discreet (discretion yet another skill Jack had taught him, oddly enough).
But he still adhered to the ground rules he’d learned - be straightforward, be honest, be safe. Although it wasn’t easy to guarantee that the object of your affection was following the same rules...
Once more he contemplated the horrible mistake that had been Cheating Bastard (as he had named the guy in his mind). Not that the night hadn’t been well spent (damn he’d been fit), but being woken by Cheating Bastard's outraged girlfriend screaming ‘Who the hell is that?’ was so far one of the worst moments of his life.
But, there was no point in brooding, that much he knew.
So he’d decided to be a bit more proactive in his studies, and had got himself involved with stage design - like Palladio (Palladio being one of his architectural heroes). But the theatre (he had quickly discovered) meant the ADC theatre Bar, and the bar... well, the bar was staffed by one of the most intriguing creatures Josh had ever seen, whom he had already privately nicknamed ‘Gorgeous Bartender’.
She - or just possibly he - was impeccably dressed in a white shirt and black trousers, but the shoulder length golden hair was cut so as to obscure the face, giving only a glimpse of cool, calm eyes, and a perfectly made up mouth. It was tricky to get a proper look, since (s)he did her job swiftly and efficiently with a minimum of actual interaction.
Alex was entertaining their little gang, and - despite not paying much attention - Josh could tell that Allison was quite definitely developing something for Alex, a situation Josh dearly hoped would work out. If ever anyone had needed a girlfriend it was Alex... Or maybe it was just that both he and Matt really needed Alex to have one, because he was getting on their nerves.
Neither Josh nor Matt knew what Alex had done - except it couldn’t have been anything inherently bad since Alex was quite clearly utterly unrepentant - but it had pissed off his Uncle to such a degree that Alex had been sent off to Cambridge, with no hope of appeal. As far as Josh could work out it was some sort of Time Lord version of The Naughty Step - particularly the way it made Alex sulk like a bored three-year old, something which annoyed Josh no end.
So a girlfriend might be just the ticket. And Allison didn’t appear to be overwhelmed by Alex’s innate brilliance in any way - a very important point - and was otherwise a fun (if somewhat argumentative) person to have around.
Still, he happily left them all behind to fetch another round, determined to do his best to chat up his new discovery. And his best was pretty damn good, if he said so himself.
When he didn’t hand over the payment for the drinks immediately, Gorgeous Bartender stopped and finally looked at him properly. Josh did his best Jack-impression.
“Can I ask, what’s your name?”
Blue-green eyes studied him, surprised and a bit suspicious. But after a moment he got an answer.
“I’m Jamie.”
Neither name, nor voice, gave the slightest indication of gender. Josh found himself even more curious. He smiled.
“Nice to meet you Jamie. I’m Josh.”
He handed over the money, holding Jamie’s eyes for several seconds, until a small smile touched the other’s mouth, and Josh could feel victory flood through him. Tonight was going to be a good night, oh yes.
Shortly before closing time Alex shooed the remainder of their gang out, only stopping briefly by Josh’s chair and murmuring ‘Have fun’ into his ear, and Josh swatted him - although it was certainly nice to have friends who understood you.
The bar slowly emptied of people, and after a while he was the only one left.
Then Jamie appeared before him, keys in hand.
“We’re closed. Afraid you have to leave so I can lock up.”
“You going to make me wait outside?” he asked, and detected a hint of a frown on Jamie’s face.
“I’m sorry?”
Josh tilted his head. Surely he hadn’t misread the signs. Or maybe Jamie was playing hard to get?
“I thought maybe you and me could... I dunno, what do you fancy? It’s Friday night - a drink, dancing, something else? I’m up for anything.”
Jamie stood very still, then slowly shook her - his - head.
“No. Sorry. It’s nice of you to ask, but... no.”
Josh stood up, confused. He was pretty good judge of these things by now, and he was sure that Jamie had been interested.
“Oh. I thought... My bad I guess. I mean, if now is not a good time, could we maybe arrange something?”
Another shake of the head, and Jamie’s voice was barely above a whisper now.
“No, I... It’s not you. Sorry again.”
Josh nodded, but still couldn’t shake the feeling that his initial impression had been correct. After he’d pulled on his jacket, he took a step towards the door, but then turned.
“Look, if you ever change your mind...”
Jamie closed his - her - eyes and took a deep breath.
“Please - just go!”
And then - for the tiniest split-second - as Jamie’s eyes opened, they flickered.
Human eyes were not supposed to flicker. Especially not flicker bright purple, and Josh had a sudden illumination.
“You’re an alien!”
Jamie’s face froze, and Josh turned this development over in his head, before reaching a sudden - and unwelcome - conclusion.
“Oh. Does that mean that we’re not... compatible?”
He did a vague gesture, because he wasn’t sure how to mime inter-species sex, and Jamie looked as if he - she - was about to faint.
“That’s your main concern?”
Josh tried to stop himself from blushing.
“I... I’m so sorry, I make it sound like I’m thinking with my- well, I am, I suppose, but I didn’t mean to be so rude. Sorry. Again. One-track mind. I’ve just never met an alien like this... on my own I mean. I’m not quite sure of the protocol, especially since you seem pretty integrated into the culture and all.”
There was a long pause.
“You’ve... met aliens before?”
He nodded, and had to forcibly stop himself from blurting out ‘My best friend’s an alien!’ because Alex would be... furious.
“Plenty of times. I have... friends... with... contacts... I’m not sure what to say, to be honest, a lot of it is classified. But yes, I’ve met aliens before. Never slept with any though.”
(But Jack says it’s brilliant, and he’s never steered me wrong so far. Oh G-d, please don’t have tentacles...)
Jamie was still looking at him like he’d grown another head.
“You’re not scared?”
Josh shook his head, nonplussed.
“Why would I be scared?”
(I’ve met Harold Saxon. After that most other things kinda pale.)
For a long moment Jamie didn’t move, but then slowly seemed to relax, the fight-or-flight tightness gradually ebbing away.
“I... I never thought it could be like this.”
“Like what?”
“This. I never thought anyone would just accept... me. Like this. Didn’t think people like you really existed.”
Josh wasn’t sure he was following.
“People like me?”
Jamie brushed back the long fringe, revealing a face every bit as gorgeous as Josh has expected, and let his (her) eyes wander over him.
“People like you. People who don’t think that the only good alien is a dead alien.” A wry smile. “I’m only half-alien by the way, but I doubt that makes much of a difference to the crowds cheering the latest destroyed UFO.”
Despite having an IQ of Big Numbers, sometimes Josh felt that it took him forever to catch on.
“You mean you’ve never told anyone?”
“Who would I tell?”
There was a hardness in Jamie’s eyes that gave lie to the casualness of the words, and Josh nodded, taking on board the loneliness he could guess lay under the surface.
“I’m here now,” he replied. “If... if you want to talk about it?”
Jamie didn’t answer immediately, instead carefully walking over to the nearest sofa and sinking down into it, before looking back up at Josh.
“This is a dream, right? Any minute I’m going to wake up, and it’ll be morning and I’ll probably be late for work...”
“I could pinch you?” Josh offered, and Jamie suddenly smiled, features lighting up and making Josh quite breathless.
“I’m tempted to take you up on that, to be honest. But...”
His new friend bit a nail, studying Josh intently and nervously.
“...would you like to... come round to my place? To... talk? Once I’m done clearing up?”
“Sure,” he replied, and Jamie looked at him silently for long moment.
“Thank you. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it-” Josh started, but Jamie got up, cutting him off.
“This is either the best evening of my life, or I’ve gone completely insane. I’m still trying to decide. Please take a seat, I’ll be a while.”
Settling into the vacated leather sofa, Josh watched as Jamie swiftly and efficiently got the place in order, as he himself turned all the new information over in his head. He’d never really thought about what it might be like for (ordinary) aliens living on Earth, and made a firm promise to himself to do anything in his power to help Jamie any way he could.
Finally Jamie was done and re-emerged, clad in a dark green coat (vintage), bright blue woolly hat (Zara), yellow knitted scarf (unique - homemade?) and tall brown boots (not a penny under £300, Josh would bet his life on it), and Josh felt himself go all hollow, as he zipped up his leather jacket.
Living with two people who tended to wear the first thing they pulled out of their closet, and who thought that a comb was the only hair styling implement anyone needed, Josh drank in the sight in front of him with undiluted pleasure. The only one of their little circle who put any effort in to their outfit was Chelsea - who put in a lot of effort and followed every trend - but Jamie had the sort of effortless quirky personal style that very few people could pull off.
Josh couldn’t help study his companion as they set off, the slightly slanted eyes, narrow nose and high cheekbones - it was tempting to call it an elfin face, except the jaw was too strong, the mouth too determined. Like the outfit, the composite parts oughtn’t work together, and yet they made a riveting whole.
“Can I ask-” he started, uncertainly. “Do you have any special powers or anything?”
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Jamie replied, shooting him a droll look. “But no, not really. The eyes... that’s largely involuntary, and does sod-all except freak people out. The only ‘power’ I have is that I’m a bit psychic - which comes in handy on busy nights - but mostly I just switch it off... Too depressing. Oh - and don’t worry, I’ve not been reading your mind. Well except making sure that you’re genuine...”
“O...kay,” he replied, and Jamie obviously sensed his discomfort.
“It’s... it’s a bit like reading body language - seeing people’s intentions; not some kind of scrolling text displaying their thoughts. Which I guess is a shame, since otherwise I could probably make a fortune...”
“Money is over rated,” Josh stated, and Jamie smiled.
“I think I like you Josh.”
Jamie’s flat turned out to be on the first floor of a tall Victorian house, and Josh had to do a double take as they entered. The hallway opened up to a cosy, cluttered sitting room crammed full of bookcases, with a large, battered sofa positioned in front of the fireplace. Of all the things Josh had been expecting, this was the last.
Jamie shot him a look.
“I know. Socially awkward loner seeks solace in books. What can I say - I’m a cliché.”
Josh felt like saying that Jamie was as far as possible from a cliché, but Jamie wasn’t waiting for him to reply.
“Cup of tea? It’s a bit late, I know...”
“Tea would be lovely,” he answered, and - at Jamie’s hand wave - sat down on the sofa.
“I could start a fire?” he suggested without thinking, because ‘Fire good: Warm, cosy and romantic’ was another Jack-tip that had made itself permanently at home in his mind.
Jamie turned.
“Um sure, that’d be nice.”
As he raked out the cold ashes and built a new fire, Josh wondered at the completely surreal feel of the situation. One thing was sure - whatever kind of half-alien Jamie was, the human part was clearly thoroughly English, and feeling as awkward as he was himself.
A while later they were both settled on the sofa, the small table in front of them laden with a sturdy brown teapot, a milk jug, two mugs and a plate of hobnobs.
Shooting Josh a swift look, Jamie took a sip of tea and began talking without any preamble, eyes fixed on the fire.
“Twenty three years ago my mother had a one-night-stand. She was on a work-related conference in Swansea, and met a guy in the bar who introduced himself as ‘having just arrived from Planet Gorgeous, and being very curious to learn more about human courtship’. This was before everyone knew that aliens were real, of course, or she’d have pepper sprayed him in a second and then called UNIT. Anyway, back then she just thought he was cheesy, but cute, and - since she was 35, and he looked about 25 - also quite flattered. When she discovered she was pregnant a month or so later, she was rather pleased - she’d always wanted children, and knew that time was running out on that score. Hence her being less than careful.
But she thought that she probably ought to tell him, and tried to track him down - only to discover that he’d been killed by a hit-and-run driver. So... that was that.
It wasn’t until a few weeks after I was born that she realised that maybe he’d been telling the truth. It was the eyes, of course.”
Another thoughtful sip of tea.
“Not much to tell about my childhood really. I was always the odd one out, but thankfully mum came across a documentary about transgendered children, so she had a label to put on me, and that’s actually worked very well. I was still... strange, but I was part of a minority that I could belong to...”
Jamie seemed lost in thought for a moment, then continued, voice soft and eyes lost in the flames.
“Even so, I used to make up stories where I was a lost alien princess... One day my people would come and take me back to their home planet, and finally I’d fit. And I’d live in a palace with funny robots and have a unicorn and meet a gorgeous prince and all the other things you get in fairy tales. Don’t know what I’d have done without books.”
Jamie had abandoned the tea mug, and now had her knees tucked under her chin, arms wrapped around them. (‘Princess’ meant that she was a she, right?) Her golden hair looked as if it was glowing, and Josh could easily imagine her as a real princess. Then the jaw set, and the fairy tale evaporated.
“But you can’t hide in stories forever... When I was seventeen, mum was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. I dropped out of school to look after her, which was pretty much a no-brainer since I loved mum and hated school.”
A deep breath, briefly closed eyes, then she continued.
“She- she died three years ago, when I was twenty. I sold the house and put everything into storage because I couldn’t face staying there - especially not with my family nagging - and I’d lost touch with my friends when mum was ill. Drifted for a while, until I ended up here. I like Cambridge... it’s old, and pretty, and I don’t stand out. Was lucky enough to find this flat, which was big enough for most of our- my furniture. Sometimes I wish I’d gotten rid of it too, but it’s all I’ve got left, really. And I could never have parted from the books. And... that’s it. My story.”
The light from the fire danced over them, and Josh didn’t know what to say. The tale had been relayed without a single hint of self-pity or drama, although Jamie was obviously still very affected by her loss.
“I’m sorry about your mum,” he said, somewhat helplessly. He wanted to reach out and comfort her, but Jamie was not very comfortable with physical contact as far as he could tell.
Jamie rested her head on her knees, swallowing, before turning to face him.
“Thanks. Life’s a bitch, but I’m pretty used to that now.”
Then she frowned, and tilted her head a fraction more, and really loked at him.
“Except you’re here. And that - that just doesn’t fit. I stopped believing in fairy tale princes a long time ago...”
She suddenly smiled nervously, hands tightening around her arms, and voice faltering for a moment.
“Oh crap, this is like the worst segue in history, but I don’t know how to do this. It’s just that I watched you all night, and now you’re here, actually here, which should be impossible... So-”
She bit her lip, “-would you maybe like to... try... to work out if we’re compatible?”
He blinked, and hardly knew where to begin.
“Are you kidding? Of course. In a heartbeat.”
Then his brain belatedly caught up. “Wait. Compatible. I thought- You’re not a girl then?”
Jamie didn’t move a muscle, yet the hurt (and defiant pride) was plain as day.
“I don’t hang out in the transgendered community just because I like the look.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry to...”
“No, my bad. Sorry. I get defensive about that. And... and don’t worry about what I said. You being here at all is more than I ever expected. Honestly just forget-”
‘Sometimes,’ Jack had once told Josh, ‘a kiss can solve all your problems. Other times it’ll ruin your chances for good. There are no hard and fast rules, but you’ll learn to tell the difference with time.’
This time there was no doubt in Josh’s mind. He leaned over and cut off Jamie’s sentence with a kiss. The sort of deep, fuck-me-now kiss that he didn’t usually open with, but in the circumstances he thought it appropriate.
Jamie’s mouth was surprised, but soft and willing, and not alien at all. Nor was the body that pressed itself against him, or the hands that pulled him closer.
When they finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, Josh carefully took Jamie’s face in his hands.
“Just in case that didn’t get the message across, you’re more than welcome to read my mind, because I’m pretty sure there’s only one thought in my head right now.”
This time it was Jamie who kissed him, eyes blazing and jubilant, and Josh knew that he’d finally got something perfectly right.
Saturday midmorning.
Jamie half-turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table.
“You know, I ought to get up and go to work.”
Josh tightened his hold.
“Don’t.”
Jamie only had a single bed, the rest of the small bedroom being dominated by two huge wardrobes. Josh though that this was an exceedingly sensible arrangement, and liked the fact that they were squeezed together very much indeed. All night - even when asleep - his arms had been full of a soft, warm, luscious body, and he didn’t want to let go.
(‘There’s nothing more miraculous than the giving and receiving of pleasure,’ Jack had told him. ‘And pleasure is pleasure, no matter the physical form.’ Josh wanted to build a monument in Jack’s honour.)
“I’m the assistant manager, I can’t just not go,” Jamie said reproachfully, turning round to face him again, and Josh stroked hir back thoughtfully.
(‘Hir’ was a lovely pronoun, he had decided. As was ‘sie’. Not surprisingly Jamie had been quite the fountain of wisdom when it came to such matters - the options were much broader than Josh had ever thought, and he’d swiftly soaked up the new knowledge.)
“Call your boss and tell them... tell them that you’re having a love-in, advancing inter-species relations, and that this very important project means you need the whole weekend off!”
“A love-in?”
There was laughter in Jamie’s eyes, and Josh nodded solemnly.
“This right here - you and me - will help build a future of peaceful coexistence and acceptance. It’s a drop in the ocean, but as time goes the whole ocean will change to be like us. Like you.”
He tapped the tip of Jamie’s nose with his finger, still hardly able to believe his luck, and Jamie shook hir head.
“Whatever drugs you’re on, I think I want some.”
Josh sighed, because telling Jamie that he actually knew someone from the future was probably not the thing right now.
“Or just pull a sickie. Go on. Go on go on go on go on...”
“Josh-”
“Please? I’m not at all ready to let you go, even for a minute. You might be abducted by your father’s people and then I’d have to spend the rest of my life in mourning for my lost unearthly lover.”
Jamie shook hir head again, looking at him like he was ten.
“You’re sweet.”
“So you’ll stay?”
To be honest he did feel like he was ten, and he’d just found a real, proper treasure, and had to guard it fiercely or someone would come and take it away.
A soft kiss, and then the hoped-for nod.
“I’ll stay.”
***
The love-in was a great success, even if Josh said so himself.
He’d decided that the thing to do was just to have fun, because that was what people needed after unexpectedly spilling their biggest secret. (It’s what Alex had needed, at least, and Josh figured that it’d probably work with Jamie too, despite them being as different as could be.)
They spent hours dressing up (Josh could happily have lived inside Jamie’s wardrobes forever more), and then doctored the resulting photos and videos in the most ridiculous ways.
Now and again they’d grab some food and watch TV, mocking every outfit they saw, and talking at length about favourite films and shows and all the other things they suddenly needed to know about each other.
Later, when it got dark and they lit another fire, Josh - feeling that he ought to share a secret of his own - told Jamie about seeing the Taj Mahal when he was nine, and how this had led to him deciding that he wanted to be an architect. (Who wouldn’t want to use their life to create something extraordinary that would last for thousands of years? )
In the end they fell asleep on the sofa as the fire turned to embers, and Josh, sleepily watching Jamie’s eyes glow as sie rested hir head on his chest, thought that surely he was the luckiest boy in the whole world.
Sunday Morning.
“You know, unless you think starving is romantic, we’re going to have go out,” Jamie said, inspecting the fridge. “I was planning on doing some shopping yesterday morning. That was, of course, before I was seduced by a ravenous teenage boy who’s eating me out of house and home.”
Josh laughed.
“What happened to me being a fairy tale prince?”
“I’m beginning to accept that maybe you’re real. Unless you’ve got servants out there somewhere who’re going to bring us some food?”
“No, you got me there. Really - there’s nothing?”
“Well... I’ve got some eggs, and a tomato, and I think there’s some sausages in the freezer, so that might make for a half-arsed cooked breakfast.”
“Would these be sausages be made of pork?” he asked, and Jamie turned hir head, then nodded slowly.
“They would indeed. You are tricky. So... There’s probably some cafés open...”
Josh turned the situation over in his head.
“Let’s go round to my place. We’ve always got more than enough because Alex is more organised than a 40 year old housewife. And I can introduce you to my friends!”
Jamie studied him silently, and for a moment Josh worried that sie’d decline, but after a moment a nod followed.
“OK.”
***
Matt was the only one there when they entered, but within seconds Alex came running from his bedroom, face beaming and full of mischief.
“Josh! You’re back! I was just-”
He stopped; took in Jamie’s presence.
“Oh. Well this is new.”
His eyes were studying Jamie, keen and penetrating, and Josh was sure that his million-and-one extra senses were tingling because he looked more curious than Curious George. But Josh trusted Alex’s innate caution not to say anything he shouldn’t - especially since Jamie had instructed him in no certain terms not to tell anyone about what sie was...
They’d work it out eventually, Josh figured, but he needed to talk to Alex in private first, and there was plenty of time for that later.
Smiling widely Alex walked forward to shake Jamie’s hand.
“Josh has never brought anyone home before. You must be very special. Welcome - I’m Alex, and that is Matt.”
“I’m Jamie. Nice to meet you,” Jamie replied, pleasant and opaque, shaking the proffered hands in turn and blithely ignoring the questions in the eyes studying hir. A clam would have been more forthcoming, but Josh was sure that once Jamie knew about Alex things would be easier.
“It would seem that this is a lucky weekend for couples!” Alex stated, and Josh’s eyes narrowed, looking at his friend more closely and noticing the bright smile that was as wide as his father’s.
“What he’s trying to say is that Allison finally decided to hook up with him,” Matt filled in, and Josh felt like doing a dance of thanksgiving.
“About time too! Have you told your Uncle yet - I’m sure he’ll sleep better knowing that there’s someone sensible keeping you in check.”
“Hey!” Alex said, but Josh took Jamie’s hand and steered hir towards the kitchen.
“We’re here to grab some food, then we’re heading out again. Is there any of the quiche left?”
“Josh!”
Oh life was fan-bloody-tastic. Alex had a girlfriend, and he himself had a Jamie, and Matt might get some peace and quiet to study in.
Everyone was happy, and everything was good.
Monday Morning
All good things must come to an end - even love-ins. Jamie - with hir no-nonsense bluntness - had in no uncertain terms told Josh that whilst it had easily been the best weekend of hir life, sie now had to get to work, and so he had to leave.
When he’d asked when he could see hir again, Jamie had just smiled and said that he was there for the next three years, right, and not to worry about it.
Back home, he walked through the door to find Alex and Matt eating a late breakfast. Matt was dressed in his biggest and ugliest jumper, with a huge scarf wrapped around his neck, and Josh guessed that he’d been hit with the evil cold that was going round.
Alex - goodness knew why - was wearing one of his most hideous T-shirts, and Josh almost shuddered. But Alex - of course - wasn’t about to let him run off and indulge in a bath.
“So...” Alex said, leaning back in his chair. “Jamie.”
“So...” Josh mimicked, leaning against the wall because he wanted to somehow stay on top of the situation. “Allison.”
Alex shook his head.
“Talk.”
There was no point in fighting, and yet Josh didn’t want to betray Jamie’s trust, and so chose his words with utmost care.
“Product of a one-night-stand. The guy had rubbish chat-up lines, but was very cute. When Jamie’s mother discovered she was pregnant, she tried to hunt the baby daddy down and discovered that he’d been run over by a car. The end.”
Alex nodded slowly.
“OK. Anything else?”
“No. Yes, actually. I want to tell Jamie about you. I haven’t so far, ‘cause I know you’re paranoid, and what with Allison on the scene I thought I’d wait until you tell her.”
There was a moment’s silence, then Alex replied.
“I’m not.”
“Not what?”
”Telling her.”
Josh frowned. “But-”
“I’ve already explained this to Matt, but from now on there’ll be no mention what-so-ever of what I am, understood? Not even to Jamie.”
Josh stared at him, incredulous.
“And you don’t think that maybe Allison has a right to know? Or that maybe it would really help Jamie to know about you?”
Alex looked distinctly taken aback.
“How would knowing about me help Jamie? As far as I can tell the only thing we have in common is you.”
Josh sighed.
“Just... I’m tired of lying. And I really, really don’t want to lie to Jamie. Or Allison for that matter.”
Alex had that ‘I-really-get-what-you’re-saying-but-I’m-not-going-to-change-my-mind-because-I-know-best’ look on his face. Josh hated that look.
“You’re really smitten aren’t you?”
“Dammit Alex, that’s not the point and you know it! I just don’t want to lie to people who deserve the truth.”
For a moment he thought Alex might actually relent, but then he shook his head.
“Sorry, but you’re going to have to.”
Josh’s eyes narrowed.
“Because you say so.”
Alex looked back, not moving.
“Because I say so.”
For a moment they just stared at each other, and Josh could feel anger building.
“Sometimes you’re just-” he gritted his teeth and tried to stop the urge to throw something at his friend. “Is Allison aware of what a perfect jerk you can be?”
Alex nodded, still infuriatingly calm.
“Actually she is.”
“Good. I would hate for her not to know what she’s getting into!”
“Josh...”
But it was pointless arguing with Alex once he’d made his mind up, no matter how much Josh might resent it. Alex held all the cards, and that was that. He slowly counted to ten.
“Fine. My Lord’s wish is my command.”
He mock-bowed, and finally he got a reaction out of Alex, as his friend’s eyes flashed angrily. But, instead of saying something cutting, Alex sighed deeply and buried his head in his hands, mumbling something that was probably an elaborate Gallifreyan curse. Then he looked up, eyes pleading.
“Josh can’t you see? This is what I want to avoid! This bloody inequality that just... changes everything. Do you remember - and you ought to, it’s only two and a half years ago - when I was just Alex? Allison likes just Alex. Allison wants a relationship with just Alex. I never thought I could ever have something like this. Please don’t ruin it.”
Josh sought out Matt’s eyes, and Matt did that ‘What can we do?’ gesture that they were both far too good at.
“OK,” he finally said. “But I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I always know what I’m doing,” Alex replied coolly.
“Yeah. Did you ever consider that that’s the problem?”
Not waiting for an answer he detached himself from the wall and headed towards the bathroom. He needed a bath, and then he probably ought to do a bit of reading before the afternoon’s lecture.
A few hours later, as Josh was sitting by the table with three books and his tablet all propped up in front of him, the door burst open and a furious-looking Allison entered, her phone clasped in her hand.
Josh took one look at her, then grinned and closed the books. Never a dull moment...
Chapter 7.
kathyh for the beta! (All mistakes mine.)Summary: Allison had always thought that university would be an adventure. But she'd not imagined that she'd end up dating Harold Saxon's son.
Setting: 2025 (AU post-Sound of Drums)
Characters: OCs (many!), the Doctor (10th), Lucy, Jack.
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: Approx. 6700 words.
A/N: I didn’t mean to write this. Josh wasn’t supposed to have a love-interest (or his own chapter), but Jamie turned up out of absolutely nowhere and demanded to be written. And to tell Jamie’s story I needed to tell Josh’s. Hope you don’t mind. I’ve done my best to tie it in with the overall story line (and the various themes etc.), and you also get a cameo from Jack. (I've never written a transgendered character before by the way, and offer my most humble apologies for all the fail I have undoubtedly created. Also, pronouns are evil.)
Chapter 6
(Interlude featuring Josh)
Josh was the first of their little trio to hit puberty, age 12 and a half, and it came as very nasty surprise. Overnight he seemed to shoot up, and from having been the littlest and cutest (something he knew how to use to his advantage) he was suddenly the tallest, his body long and unfamiliar and behaving in all sorts of... unexpected ways.
Also there were girls everywhere. Theoretically he knew that they had to have been there all along, but now he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else... Girls, enticing and mysterious and remote (and wearing very short skirts). How did you talk to them? Because you needed to talk before you could do... other things.
Added to all this he became obsessed with his appearance, trying to tame his new body any way he could - and he discovered a new sense of pleasure looking in the mirror and seeing the result of his work.
His friends weren’t much help. Matt seemed to be mostly alarmed, and Alex was even worse, commenting how it was all ‘perfectly normal development’, and would Josh mind explaining how it felt - it was fascinating from a scientific perspective.
Josh threw a book at him (that Alex of course caught, laughing), and sulked. He was very good at sulking. Life wasn’t fair, but at least it couldn’t get any worse. Or so he thought.
Because one day, out of the blue, he developed a crush on Jack.
Until then Jack had just been one of Alex’s family friends... a sort of honorary uncle, who was fun and brilliant and cool beyond words, because he was some kind of secret government agent.
What Josh noticed now, however, was the way Jack’s coat swirled when he turned, the blue of his eyes and the bright radiance of his smile, the way he wrapped his American vowels around words... And it was all wrong. Jack was old - like forty or something - and he was... very much not a girl. It made Josh think of uncomfortable, unwanted words all ending in ‘sexuality’, and Josh lived in perpetual terror that someone would find him out.
So, whenever Jack was round at Alex’s, Josh did his best to be monosyllabic and hid behind his swiftly-growing (and very carefully arranged) hair. Even so he could feel Jack’s eyes bore into him, and suffered a thousand agonies.
Then came the day - he was thirteen and a quarter - when Jack picked them all up from school, ‘since he was in town anyway’, and gave them lifts home - all three of them squeezed into the roomy front seat of the SUV. Alex was first to go (extracting a promise from Jack to come round as soon as possible), and then it was Matt’s turn. It was getting dark, and Josh waved goodbye with a sinking heart before slinking into the corner by the door - as far from Jack as possible.
Pulling back into the road, and tapping Josh’s address into the sat nav, Jack asked the question so casually that at first it didn’t actually register.
“So Josh - has anyone actually ever talked to you about sex?”
Josh went hot and cold and hot again, and seriously contemplated opening the door and jumping out. When he didn’t answer Jack turned and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
“Didn’t think so. And with your father a nonentity, I thought someone ought to step in. Especially considering...” he stopped, eyes narrowing, “...your specific talents.”
“What... what do you mean?” Josh asked, voice all squeaky, but Jack didn’t seem to notice.
“You’re very smart, and you’re very beautiful. Essentially you’ve won the DNA lottery, but if you don’t know how to use it...”
“I... I’m beautiful?”
The words were more a breath than a question, and he could feel his heart beating very fast all of a sudden.
Jack chuckled.
“Josh - people are going to walk into lamp posts when they see your face. A few years down the line all the girls will be throwing themselves at you. And a lot of the boys too, probably.”
Josh felt like he’d fallen into a parallel universe.
“Really?”
“Oooh yes. Which is why I’m going to talk to you - since I happen to know what life is like when you’re gorgeous and clever, and figure you could do with some help. Also, sex education in schools in this day and age is atrocious.”
They’d hit rush hour - which, since they were in London, of course meant that traffic had slowed to a snail-like pace. Josh listened to Jack with rapt attention, as his new mentor gave him a more unusual guide to life than he could ever have imagined. Best of all Jack appeared to be incapable of embarrassment and was happy to explain anything and everything, even with only the most basic and mortified of prompting. And it was all so useful - what to say to girls (or boys), what not to say, how to deal with rejection or unwelcome attention... a million whys and hows.
Most importantly - and Jack was very firm on that point - it was all good. There was nothing wrong with Josh, no matter what - or who - he liked.
Josh nodded, but avoided Jack’s keen eyes.
As they drew up outside his building a little later, Jack pulled out an envelope from an inside pocket.
“We can talk anytime you like, OK? Remember, you can ask me anything - no question too stupid. And this is for you.”
He handed the envelope over, which bore Josh’s name and the word ‘Private’ in large letters.
“Thank you,” he said, searching for something to convey his gratitude properly. “For... for everything.”
“My pleasure,” Jack replied, blue eyes soft and sparkling, and Josh quickly climbed out of the car before he could say something really stupid, envelope in his hand and bag slung over his shoulder.
In his bedroom, a few breathless minutes later, he opened the letter and pulled out a single piece of paper.
This voucher entitles Joshua Levin to one kiss from Capt Jack Harkness on his sixteenth birthday, or any time thereafter.
CJH
He sat staring at it in silence for so long that his mother came knocking on the door, asking what he was doing. With trembling hands he folded up the paper, wondering how in so few words Jack had managed to communicate so much...
Friday Night, the ADC Theatre Bar, Cambridge.
He still had the letter now, almost five years later - tucked away at the very back of his wallet. Like an insurance, or a talisman, or something. A link back to the boy he’d been, and a reminder to always be a class act. Although it was strange to consider how things had changed - and yet not.
Matt and Alex still had less dress sense between them than a bumblebee, and he knew they both thought that he’d ‘let loose’ once they’d arrived at university. This was partly true, since not having his mother and grandmother breathing down his neck all the time was very freeing. Mostly though, the only thing that had really changed was that he’d stopped being discreet (discretion yet another skill Jack had taught him, oddly enough).
But he still adhered to the ground rules he’d learned - be straightforward, be honest, be safe. Although it wasn’t easy to guarantee that the object of your affection was following the same rules...
Once more he contemplated the horrible mistake that had been Cheating Bastard (as he had named the guy in his mind). Not that the night hadn’t been well spent (damn he’d been fit), but being woken by Cheating Bastard's outraged girlfriend screaming ‘Who the hell is that?’ was so far one of the worst moments of his life.
But, there was no point in brooding, that much he knew.
So he’d decided to be a bit more proactive in his studies, and had got himself involved with stage design - like Palladio (Palladio being one of his architectural heroes). But the theatre (he had quickly discovered) meant the ADC theatre Bar, and the bar... well, the bar was staffed by one of the most intriguing creatures Josh had ever seen, whom he had already privately nicknamed ‘Gorgeous Bartender’.
She - or just possibly he - was impeccably dressed in a white shirt and black trousers, but the shoulder length golden hair was cut so as to obscure the face, giving only a glimpse of cool, calm eyes, and a perfectly made up mouth. It was tricky to get a proper look, since (s)he did her job swiftly and efficiently with a minimum of actual interaction.
Alex was entertaining their little gang, and - despite not paying much attention - Josh could tell that Allison was quite definitely developing something for Alex, a situation Josh dearly hoped would work out. If ever anyone had needed a girlfriend it was Alex... Or maybe it was just that both he and Matt really needed Alex to have one, because he was getting on their nerves.
Neither Josh nor Matt knew what Alex had done - except it couldn’t have been anything inherently bad since Alex was quite clearly utterly unrepentant - but it had pissed off his Uncle to such a degree that Alex had been sent off to Cambridge, with no hope of appeal. As far as Josh could work out it was some sort of Time Lord version of The Naughty Step - particularly the way it made Alex sulk like a bored three-year old, something which annoyed Josh no end.
So a girlfriend might be just the ticket. And Allison didn’t appear to be overwhelmed by Alex’s innate brilliance in any way - a very important point - and was otherwise a fun (if somewhat argumentative) person to have around.
Still, he happily left them all behind to fetch another round, determined to do his best to chat up his new discovery. And his best was pretty damn good, if he said so himself.
When he didn’t hand over the payment for the drinks immediately, Gorgeous Bartender stopped and finally looked at him properly. Josh did his best Jack-impression.
“Can I ask, what’s your name?”
Blue-green eyes studied him, surprised and a bit suspicious. But after a moment he got an answer.
“I’m Jamie.”
Neither name, nor voice, gave the slightest indication of gender. Josh found himself even more curious. He smiled.
“Nice to meet you Jamie. I’m Josh.”
He handed over the money, holding Jamie’s eyes for several seconds, until a small smile touched the other’s mouth, and Josh could feel victory flood through him. Tonight was going to be a good night, oh yes.
Shortly before closing time Alex shooed the remainder of their gang out, only stopping briefly by Josh’s chair and murmuring ‘Have fun’ into his ear, and Josh swatted him - although it was certainly nice to have friends who understood you.
The bar slowly emptied of people, and after a while he was the only one left.
Then Jamie appeared before him, keys in hand.
“We’re closed. Afraid you have to leave so I can lock up.”
“You going to make me wait outside?” he asked, and detected a hint of a frown on Jamie’s face.
“I’m sorry?”
Josh tilted his head. Surely he hadn’t misread the signs. Or maybe Jamie was playing hard to get?
“I thought maybe you and me could... I dunno, what do you fancy? It’s Friday night - a drink, dancing, something else? I’m up for anything.”
Jamie stood very still, then slowly shook her - his - head.
“No. Sorry. It’s nice of you to ask, but... no.”
Josh stood up, confused. He was pretty good judge of these things by now, and he was sure that Jamie had been interested.
“Oh. I thought... My bad I guess. I mean, if now is not a good time, could we maybe arrange something?”
Another shake of the head, and Jamie’s voice was barely above a whisper now.
“No, I... It’s not you. Sorry again.”
Josh nodded, but still couldn’t shake the feeling that his initial impression had been correct. After he’d pulled on his jacket, he took a step towards the door, but then turned.
“Look, if you ever change your mind...”
Jamie closed his - her - eyes and took a deep breath.
“Please - just go!”
And then - for the tiniest split-second - as Jamie’s eyes opened, they flickered.
Human eyes were not supposed to flicker. Especially not flicker bright purple, and Josh had a sudden illumination.
“You’re an alien!”
Jamie’s face froze, and Josh turned this development over in his head, before reaching a sudden - and unwelcome - conclusion.
“Oh. Does that mean that we’re not... compatible?”
He did a vague gesture, because he wasn’t sure how to mime inter-species sex, and Jamie looked as if he - she - was about to faint.
“That’s your main concern?”
Josh tried to stop himself from blushing.
“I... I’m so sorry, I make it sound like I’m thinking with my- well, I am, I suppose, but I didn’t mean to be so rude. Sorry. Again. One-track mind. I’ve just never met an alien like this... on my own I mean. I’m not quite sure of the protocol, especially since you seem pretty integrated into the culture and all.”
There was a long pause.
“You’ve... met aliens before?”
He nodded, and had to forcibly stop himself from blurting out ‘My best friend’s an alien!’ because Alex would be... furious.
“Plenty of times. I have... friends... with... contacts... I’m not sure what to say, to be honest, a lot of it is classified. But yes, I’ve met aliens before. Never slept with any though.”
(But Jack says it’s brilliant, and he’s never steered me wrong so far. Oh G-d, please don’t have tentacles...)
Jamie was still looking at him like he’d grown another head.
“You’re not scared?”
Josh shook his head, nonplussed.
“Why would I be scared?”
(I’ve met Harold Saxon. After that most other things kinda pale.)
For a long moment Jamie didn’t move, but then slowly seemed to relax, the fight-or-flight tightness gradually ebbing away.
“I... I never thought it could be like this.”
“Like what?”
“This. I never thought anyone would just accept... me. Like this. Didn’t think people like you really existed.”
Josh wasn’t sure he was following.
“People like me?”
Jamie brushed back the long fringe, revealing a face every bit as gorgeous as Josh has expected, and let his (her) eyes wander over him.
“People like you. People who don’t think that the only good alien is a dead alien.” A wry smile. “I’m only half-alien by the way, but I doubt that makes much of a difference to the crowds cheering the latest destroyed UFO.”
Despite having an IQ of Big Numbers, sometimes Josh felt that it took him forever to catch on.
“You mean you’ve never told anyone?”
“Who would I tell?”
There was a hardness in Jamie’s eyes that gave lie to the casualness of the words, and Josh nodded, taking on board the loneliness he could guess lay under the surface.
“I’m here now,” he replied. “If... if you want to talk about it?”
Jamie didn’t answer immediately, instead carefully walking over to the nearest sofa and sinking down into it, before looking back up at Josh.
“This is a dream, right? Any minute I’m going to wake up, and it’ll be morning and I’ll probably be late for work...”
“I could pinch you?” Josh offered, and Jamie suddenly smiled, features lighting up and making Josh quite breathless.
“I’m tempted to take you up on that, to be honest. But...”
His new friend bit a nail, studying Josh intently and nervously.
“...would you like to... come round to my place? To... talk? Once I’m done clearing up?”
“Sure,” he replied, and Jamie looked at him silently for long moment.
“Thank you. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it-” Josh started, but Jamie got up, cutting him off.
“This is either the best evening of my life, or I’ve gone completely insane. I’m still trying to decide. Please take a seat, I’ll be a while.”
Settling into the vacated leather sofa, Josh watched as Jamie swiftly and efficiently got the place in order, as he himself turned all the new information over in his head. He’d never really thought about what it might be like for (ordinary) aliens living on Earth, and made a firm promise to himself to do anything in his power to help Jamie any way he could.
Finally Jamie was done and re-emerged, clad in a dark green coat (vintage), bright blue woolly hat (Zara), yellow knitted scarf (unique - homemade?) and tall brown boots (not a penny under £300, Josh would bet his life on it), and Josh felt himself go all hollow, as he zipped up his leather jacket.
Living with two people who tended to wear the first thing they pulled out of their closet, and who thought that a comb was the only hair styling implement anyone needed, Josh drank in the sight in front of him with undiluted pleasure. The only one of their little circle who put any effort in to their outfit was Chelsea - who put in a lot of effort and followed every trend - but Jamie had the sort of effortless quirky personal style that very few people could pull off.
Josh couldn’t help study his companion as they set off, the slightly slanted eyes, narrow nose and high cheekbones - it was tempting to call it an elfin face, except the jaw was too strong, the mouth too determined. Like the outfit, the composite parts oughtn’t work together, and yet they made a riveting whole.
“Can I ask-” he started, uncertainly. “Do you have any special powers or anything?”
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Jamie replied, shooting him a droll look. “But no, not really. The eyes... that’s largely involuntary, and does sod-all except freak people out. The only ‘power’ I have is that I’m a bit psychic - which comes in handy on busy nights - but mostly I just switch it off... Too depressing. Oh - and don’t worry, I’ve not been reading your mind. Well except making sure that you’re genuine...”
“O...kay,” he replied, and Jamie obviously sensed his discomfort.
“It’s... it’s a bit like reading body language - seeing people’s intentions; not some kind of scrolling text displaying their thoughts. Which I guess is a shame, since otherwise I could probably make a fortune...”
“Money is over rated,” Josh stated, and Jamie smiled.
“I think I like you Josh.”
Jamie’s flat turned out to be on the first floor of a tall Victorian house, and Josh had to do a double take as they entered. The hallway opened up to a cosy, cluttered sitting room crammed full of bookcases, with a large, battered sofa positioned in front of the fireplace. Of all the things Josh had been expecting, this was the last.
Jamie shot him a look.
“I know. Socially awkward loner seeks solace in books. What can I say - I’m a cliché.”
Josh felt like saying that Jamie was as far as possible from a cliché, but Jamie wasn’t waiting for him to reply.
“Cup of tea? It’s a bit late, I know...”
“Tea would be lovely,” he answered, and - at Jamie’s hand wave - sat down on the sofa.
“I could start a fire?” he suggested without thinking, because ‘Fire good: Warm, cosy and romantic’ was another Jack-tip that had made itself permanently at home in his mind.
Jamie turned.
“Um sure, that’d be nice.”
As he raked out the cold ashes and built a new fire, Josh wondered at the completely surreal feel of the situation. One thing was sure - whatever kind of half-alien Jamie was, the human part was clearly thoroughly English, and feeling as awkward as he was himself.
A while later they were both settled on the sofa, the small table in front of them laden with a sturdy brown teapot, a milk jug, two mugs and a plate of hobnobs.
Shooting Josh a swift look, Jamie took a sip of tea and began talking without any preamble, eyes fixed on the fire.
“Twenty three years ago my mother had a one-night-stand. She was on a work-related conference in Swansea, and met a guy in the bar who introduced himself as ‘having just arrived from Planet Gorgeous, and being very curious to learn more about human courtship’. This was before everyone knew that aliens were real, of course, or she’d have pepper sprayed him in a second and then called UNIT. Anyway, back then she just thought he was cheesy, but cute, and - since she was 35, and he looked about 25 - also quite flattered. When she discovered she was pregnant a month or so later, she was rather pleased - she’d always wanted children, and knew that time was running out on that score. Hence her being less than careful.
But she thought that she probably ought to tell him, and tried to track him down - only to discover that he’d been killed by a hit-and-run driver. So... that was that.
It wasn’t until a few weeks after I was born that she realised that maybe he’d been telling the truth. It was the eyes, of course.”
Another thoughtful sip of tea.
“Not much to tell about my childhood really. I was always the odd one out, but thankfully mum came across a documentary about transgendered children, so she had a label to put on me, and that’s actually worked very well. I was still... strange, but I was part of a minority that I could belong to...”
Jamie seemed lost in thought for a moment, then continued, voice soft and eyes lost in the flames.
“Even so, I used to make up stories where I was a lost alien princess... One day my people would come and take me back to their home planet, and finally I’d fit. And I’d live in a palace with funny robots and have a unicorn and meet a gorgeous prince and all the other things you get in fairy tales. Don’t know what I’d have done without books.”
Jamie had abandoned the tea mug, and now had her knees tucked under her chin, arms wrapped around them. (‘Princess’ meant that she was a she, right?) Her golden hair looked as if it was glowing, and Josh could easily imagine her as a real princess. Then the jaw set, and the fairy tale evaporated.
“But you can’t hide in stories forever... When I was seventeen, mum was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. I dropped out of school to look after her, which was pretty much a no-brainer since I loved mum and hated school.”
A deep breath, briefly closed eyes, then she continued.
“She- she died three years ago, when I was twenty. I sold the house and put everything into storage because I couldn’t face staying there - especially not with my family nagging - and I’d lost touch with my friends when mum was ill. Drifted for a while, until I ended up here. I like Cambridge... it’s old, and pretty, and I don’t stand out. Was lucky enough to find this flat, which was big enough for most of our- my furniture. Sometimes I wish I’d gotten rid of it too, but it’s all I’ve got left, really. And I could never have parted from the books. And... that’s it. My story.”
The light from the fire danced over them, and Josh didn’t know what to say. The tale had been relayed without a single hint of self-pity or drama, although Jamie was obviously still very affected by her loss.
“I’m sorry about your mum,” he said, somewhat helplessly. He wanted to reach out and comfort her, but Jamie was not very comfortable with physical contact as far as he could tell.
Jamie rested her head on her knees, swallowing, before turning to face him.
“Thanks. Life’s a bitch, but I’m pretty used to that now.”
Then she frowned, and tilted her head a fraction more, and really loked at him.
“Except you’re here. And that - that just doesn’t fit. I stopped believing in fairy tale princes a long time ago...”
She suddenly smiled nervously, hands tightening around her arms, and voice faltering for a moment.
“Oh crap, this is like the worst segue in history, but I don’t know how to do this. It’s just that I watched you all night, and now you’re here, actually here, which should be impossible... So-”
She bit her lip, “-would you maybe like to... try... to work out if we’re compatible?”
He blinked, and hardly knew where to begin.
“Are you kidding? Of course. In a heartbeat.”
Then his brain belatedly caught up. “Wait. Compatible. I thought- You’re not a girl then?”
Jamie didn’t move a muscle, yet the hurt (and defiant pride) was plain as day.
“I don’t hang out in the transgendered community just because I like the look.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry to...”
“No, my bad. Sorry. I get defensive about that. And... and don’t worry about what I said. You being here at all is more than I ever expected. Honestly just forget-”
‘Sometimes,’ Jack had once told Josh, ‘a kiss can solve all your problems. Other times it’ll ruin your chances for good. There are no hard and fast rules, but you’ll learn to tell the difference with time.’
This time there was no doubt in Josh’s mind. He leaned over and cut off Jamie’s sentence with a kiss. The sort of deep, fuck-me-now kiss that he didn’t usually open with, but in the circumstances he thought it appropriate.
Jamie’s mouth was surprised, but soft and willing, and not alien at all. Nor was the body that pressed itself against him, or the hands that pulled him closer.
When they finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, Josh carefully took Jamie’s face in his hands.
“Just in case that didn’t get the message across, you’re more than welcome to read my mind, because I’m pretty sure there’s only one thought in my head right now.”
This time it was Jamie who kissed him, eyes blazing and jubilant, and Josh knew that he’d finally got something perfectly right.
Saturday midmorning.
Jamie half-turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table.
“You know, I ought to get up and go to work.”
Josh tightened his hold.
“Don’t.”
Jamie only had a single bed, the rest of the small bedroom being dominated by two huge wardrobes. Josh though that this was an exceedingly sensible arrangement, and liked the fact that they were squeezed together very much indeed. All night - even when asleep - his arms had been full of a soft, warm, luscious body, and he didn’t want to let go.
(‘There’s nothing more miraculous than the giving and receiving of pleasure,’ Jack had told him. ‘And pleasure is pleasure, no matter the physical form.’ Josh wanted to build a monument in Jack’s honour.)
“I’m the assistant manager, I can’t just not go,” Jamie said reproachfully, turning round to face him again, and Josh stroked hir back thoughtfully.
(‘Hir’ was a lovely pronoun, he had decided. As was ‘sie’. Not surprisingly Jamie had been quite the fountain of wisdom when it came to such matters - the options were much broader than Josh had ever thought, and he’d swiftly soaked up the new knowledge.)
“Call your boss and tell them... tell them that you’re having a love-in, advancing inter-species relations, and that this very important project means you need the whole weekend off!”
“A love-in?”
There was laughter in Jamie’s eyes, and Josh nodded solemnly.
“This right here - you and me - will help build a future of peaceful coexistence and acceptance. It’s a drop in the ocean, but as time goes the whole ocean will change to be like us. Like you.”
He tapped the tip of Jamie’s nose with his finger, still hardly able to believe his luck, and Jamie shook hir head.
“Whatever drugs you’re on, I think I want some.”
Josh sighed, because telling Jamie that he actually knew someone from the future was probably not the thing right now.
“Or just pull a sickie. Go on. Go on go on go on go on...”
“Josh-”
“Please? I’m not at all ready to let you go, even for a minute. You might be abducted by your father’s people and then I’d have to spend the rest of my life in mourning for my lost unearthly lover.”
Jamie shook hir head again, looking at him like he was ten.
“You’re sweet.”
“So you’ll stay?”
To be honest he did feel like he was ten, and he’d just found a real, proper treasure, and had to guard it fiercely or someone would come and take it away.
A soft kiss, and then the hoped-for nod.
“I’ll stay.”
The love-in was a great success, even if Josh said so himself.
He’d decided that the thing to do was just to have fun, because that was what people needed after unexpectedly spilling their biggest secret. (It’s what Alex had needed, at least, and Josh figured that it’d probably work with Jamie too, despite them being as different as could be.)
They spent hours dressing up (Josh could happily have lived inside Jamie’s wardrobes forever more), and then doctored the resulting photos and videos in the most ridiculous ways.
Now and again they’d grab some food and watch TV, mocking every outfit they saw, and talking at length about favourite films and shows and all the other things they suddenly needed to know about each other.
Later, when it got dark and they lit another fire, Josh - feeling that he ought to share a secret of his own - told Jamie about seeing the Taj Mahal when he was nine, and how this had led to him deciding that he wanted to be an architect. (Who wouldn’t want to use their life to create something extraordinary that would last for thousands of years? )
In the end they fell asleep on the sofa as the fire turned to embers, and Josh, sleepily watching Jamie’s eyes glow as sie rested hir head on his chest, thought that surely he was the luckiest boy in the whole world.
Sunday Morning.
“You know, unless you think starving is romantic, we’re going to have go out,” Jamie said, inspecting the fridge. “I was planning on doing some shopping yesterday morning. That was, of course, before I was seduced by a ravenous teenage boy who’s eating me out of house and home.”
Josh laughed.
“What happened to me being a fairy tale prince?”
“I’m beginning to accept that maybe you’re real. Unless you’ve got servants out there somewhere who’re going to bring us some food?”
“No, you got me there. Really - there’s nothing?”
“Well... I’ve got some eggs, and a tomato, and I think there’s some sausages in the freezer, so that might make for a half-arsed cooked breakfast.”
“Would these be sausages be made of pork?” he asked, and Jamie turned hir head, then nodded slowly.
“They would indeed. You are tricky. So... There’s probably some cafés open...”
Josh turned the situation over in his head.
“Let’s go round to my place. We’ve always got more than enough because Alex is more organised than a 40 year old housewife. And I can introduce you to my friends!”
Jamie studied him silently, and for a moment Josh worried that sie’d decline, but after a moment a nod followed.
“OK.”
Matt was the only one there when they entered, but within seconds Alex came running from his bedroom, face beaming and full of mischief.
“Josh! You’re back! I was just-”
He stopped; took in Jamie’s presence.
“Oh. Well this is new.”
His eyes were studying Jamie, keen and penetrating, and Josh was sure that his million-and-one extra senses were tingling because he looked more curious than Curious George. But Josh trusted Alex’s innate caution not to say anything he shouldn’t - especially since Jamie had instructed him in no certain terms not to tell anyone about what sie was...
They’d work it out eventually, Josh figured, but he needed to talk to Alex in private first, and there was plenty of time for that later.
Smiling widely Alex walked forward to shake Jamie’s hand.
“Josh has never brought anyone home before. You must be very special. Welcome - I’m Alex, and that is Matt.”
“I’m Jamie. Nice to meet you,” Jamie replied, pleasant and opaque, shaking the proffered hands in turn and blithely ignoring the questions in the eyes studying hir. A clam would have been more forthcoming, but Josh was sure that once Jamie knew about Alex things would be easier.
“It would seem that this is a lucky weekend for couples!” Alex stated, and Josh’s eyes narrowed, looking at his friend more closely and noticing the bright smile that was as wide as his father’s.
“What he’s trying to say is that Allison finally decided to hook up with him,” Matt filled in, and Josh felt like doing a dance of thanksgiving.
“About time too! Have you told your Uncle yet - I’m sure he’ll sleep better knowing that there’s someone sensible keeping you in check.”
“Hey!” Alex said, but Josh took Jamie’s hand and steered hir towards the kitchen.
“We’re here to grab some food, then we’re heading out again. Is there any of the quiche left?”
“Josh!”
Oh life was fan-bloody-tastic. Alex had a girlfriend, and he himself had a Jamie, and Matt might get some peace and quiet to study in.
Everyone was happy, and everything was good.
Monday Morning
All good things must come to an end - even love-ins. Jamie - with hir no-nonsense bluntness - had in no uncertain terms told Josh that whilst it had easily been the best weekend of hir life, sie now had to get to work, and so he had to leave.
When he’d asked when he could see hir again, Jamie had just smiled and said that he was there for the next three years, right, and not to worry about it.
Back home, he walked through the door to find Alex and Matt eating a late breakfast. Matt was dressed in his biggest and ugliest jumper, with a huge scarf wrapped around his neck, and Josh guessed that he’d been hit with the evil cold that was going round.
Alex - goodness knew why - was wearing one of his most hideous T-shirts, and Josh almost shuddered. But Alex - of course - wasn’t about to let him run off and indulge in a bath.
“So...” Alex said, leaning back in his chair. “Jamie.”
“So...” Josh mimicked, leaning against the wall because he wanted to somehow stay on top of the situation. “Allison.”
Alex shook his head.
“Talk.”
There was no point in fighting, and yet Josh didn’t want to betray Jamie’s trust, and so chose his words with utmost care.
“Product of a one-night-stand. The guy had rubbish chat-up lines, but was very cute. When Jamie’s mother discovered she was pregnant, she tried to hunt the baby daddy down and discovered that he’d been run over by a car. The end.”
Alex nodded slowly.
“OK. Anything else?”
“No. Yes, actually. I want to tell Jamie about you. I haven’t so far, ‘cause I know you’re paranoid, and what with Allison on the scene I thought I’d wait until you tell her.”
There was a moment’s silence, then Alex replied.
“I’m not.”
“Not what?”
”Telling her.”
Josh frowned. “But-”
“I’ve already explained this to Matt, but from now on there’ll be no mention what-so-ever of what I am, understood? Not even to Jamie.”
Josh stared at him, incredulous.
“And you don’t think that maybe Allison has a right to know? Or that maybe it would really help Jamie to know about you?”
Alex looked distinctly taken aback.
“How would knowing about me help Jamie? As far as I can tell the only thing we have in common is you.”
Josh sighed.
“Just... I’m tired of lying. And I really, really don’t want to lie to Jamie. Or Allison for that matter.”
Alex had that ‘I-really-get-what-you’re-saying-but-I’m-not-going-to-change-my-mind-because-I-know-best’ look on his face. Josh hated that look.
“You’re really smitten aren’t you?”
“Dammit Alex, that’s not the point and you know it! I just don’t want to lie to people who deserve the truth.”
For a moment he thought Alex might actually relent, but then he shook his head.
“Sorry, but you’re going to have to.”
Josh’s eyes narrowed.
“Because you say so.”
Alex looked back, not moving.
“Because I say so.”
For a moment they just stared at each other, and Josh could feel anger building.
“Sometimes you’re just-” he gritted his teeth and tried to stop the urge to throw something at his friend. “Is Allison aware of what a perfect jerk you can be?”
Alex nodded, still infuriatingly calm.
“Actually she is.”
“Good. I would hate for her not to know what she’s getting into!”
“Josh...”
But it was pointless arguing with Alex once he’d made his mind up, no matter how much Josh might resent it. Alex held all the cards, and that was that. He slowly counted to ten.
“Fine. My Lord’s wish is my command.”
He mock-bowed, and finally he got a reaction out of Alex, as his friend’s eyes flashed angrily. But, instead of saying something cutting, Alex sighed deeply and buried his head in his hands, mumbling something that was probably an elaborate Gallifreyan curse. Then he looked up, eyes pleading.
“Josh can’t you see? This is what I want to avoid! This bloody inequality that just... changes everything. Do you remember - and you ought to, it’s only two and a half years ago - when I was just Alex? Allison likes just Alex. Allison wants a relationship with just Alex. I never thought I could ever have something like this. Please don’t ruin it.”
Josh sought out Matt’s eyes, and Matt did that ‘What can we do?’ gesture that they were both far too good at.
“OK,” he finally said. “But I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I always know what I’m doing,” Alex replied coolly.
“Yeah. Did you ever consider that that’s the problem?”
Not waiting for an answer he detached himself from the wall and headed towards the bathroom. He needed a bath, and then he probably ought to do a bit of reading before the afternoon’s lecture.
A few hours later, as Josh was sitting by the table with three books and his tablet all propped up in front of him, the door burst open and a furious-looking Allison entered, her phone clasped in her hand.
Josh took one look at her, then grinned and closed the books. Never a dull moment...
Chapter 7.