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Asylum ficlet (3/4).
Managed to get some time away from the family (soooo peaceful!), so here is the third ficlet. Many hugs & kisses to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kathyh for the quick second beta (she beta'd all the others too, btw, I've been forgetting to credit her). This one is also very, very silly. Will post the fourth (and last) one next week - it is very angsty, so really doesn't go with these two middle ones anywway. (Maybe I should mention that this ain't exactly my best work... I was just having fun. *g* Oh and also I think I ought to point out that despite early indications this isn't slash!)
I own nothing, Joss and Brian Lynch are my Gods etc.
4 years later
“You know what Angel? This is it. I am never working with you again! Ever!”
“These things happen Spike - we were just... unlucky.”
“Unlucky?” Spike’s voice is incredulous. “We’re tied up in a metal box, naked, and you’re saying we’re just ‘unlucky’? Riiiight! ‘One simple job’ you said, ‘Nothing to worry about’ you said, ‘Gramax demons are a piece of cake’, you said. It was your fault that we got captured by The Immortal that time, you know. Well sod that, ‘cause I’m done with being traumatised by you! Fuck knows if I’ll ever get over all the issues you’ve saddled me with-”
Angel resents being tied up mostly because it means that he can’t hit Spike.
“Will you stop yammering Spike? Tell it to your therapist!”
“Too bloody right I will!” Spike counters angrily.
There is a pause lasting exactly 3 seconds, wherein Angel’s eyes get wider and wider, and then Spike’s head hits the side of the box with a heavy thud.
“You have a therapist?” Angel asks, glee and delight growing exponentially. Then he begins to laugh uncontrollably as he can hear Spike swearing. He'll never let him live this down. Angel might be naked and tied up, but he still feels as though the universe has finally given him a break.
***
One day later.
“For crying out loud Angel, are you ever going to stop laughing?”
“Not likely...”
Spike now has a large bruise on his forehead.
***
Two days later.
“Hey, Spike... did you say he was a werewolf?”
“Who? Dr Thilbault? Yeah...”
He sighs.
“Well... I’ve been wondering if there was something I could do for Nina, you see, and talking to a qualified professional with the same issues might be really helpful...”
***
Three days later.
“You... and Anna.”
“Yup.”
“Seriously?”
“M-hm!” Spike tone is very smug indeed.
“But...”
“Hey - she wasn’t a big shot TV star then! She was just a failed actress who couldn’t get any jobs on account of the horns. Fuck knows why she never tried sci-fi before. Oh and...”
Angel can hear the smile in Spike’s voice, and wonders what’s coming now.
“Dunno what she paid for the boob job, but it was worth it! Pretty darn flawless...”
Angel rolls his eyes. “And Buffy doesn’t have any problems with this?”
Spike shifts a little. “It was a long time ago. Just a bit of fun, really.”
Angel is just about to respond when they both hear a faint sound. Moments later the front of the cage gets wrenched open, and they blink against the bright light. There is some spluttering and then a call for blankets.
A short while later they’re physically comfortable for the first time in days - wrapped up in large blankets, sipping some blood - and at the same time desperately trying to ignore the tittering behind their backs. There have probably been more humiliating incidents in his life, but right now Angel can’t think of any.
Spike shoots him an odd look, something brimming in his eyes, and asks, voice surprisingly genuine, “Hey - wanna come along to a meeting sometime? You could meet the doctor and maybe see what you can arrange for Nina...”
Taken by surprise at the request Angel finds himself agreeing, only later wondering why he didn’t just ask for the guy’s phone number...
***
One week later.
“Hello everyone - brought someone along tonight. Please say hello to Angel! Yes, that Angel! I’m sure you remember me talkin’ about him, yeah? Well he’s no good at communicating, so let me just do a quick run-through of his issues or we’ll still be sat here in a year’s time waitin’ for him to talk... Now, where to start...”
Angel opens his mouth to say something about this not being why he’s here, but Spike continues without pause.
“Right - before he got cursed with a soul he was ‘The Worst Vampire in the World’, and now he thinks he’s the best. Emotionally stunted - possibly due to childhood traumas of some sort, he’s never opened up - a control freak, has a hero complex and thinks he carries the fate of humankind on his shoulders. Because of this he’s always making decisions for others, can’t admit he’s wrong, and has a real knack for destroying the world instead of saving it!”
Spike looks around the small circle. “Think that covers the basics...”
Then he turns to a speechless Angel, and the look in his eyes is unmistakable.
‘This is what you get for laughing at me for three days!’
kathyh for the quick second beta (she beta'd all the others too, btw, I've been forgetting to credit her). This one is also very, very silly. Will post the fourth (and last) one next week - it is very angsty, so really doesn't go with these two middle ones anywway. (Maybe I should mention that this ain't exactly my best work... I was just having fun. *g* Oh and also I think I ought to point out that despite early indications this isn't slash!)I own nothing, Joss and Brian Lynch are my Gods etc.
“You know what Angel? This is it. I am never working with you again! Ever!”
“These things happen Spike - we were just... unlucky.”
“Unlucky?” Spike’s voice is incredulous. “We’re tied up in a metal box, naked, and you’re saying we’re just ‘unlucky’? Riiiight! ‘One simple job’ you said, ‘Nothing to worry about’ you said, ‘Gramax demons are a piece of cake’, you said. It was your fault that we got captured by The Immortal that time, you know. Well sod that, ‘cause I’m done with being traumatised by you! Fuck knows if I’ll ever get over all the issues you’ve saddled me with-”
Angel resents being tied up mostly because it means that he can’t hit Spike.
“Will you stop yammering Spike? Tell it to your therapist!”
“Too bloody right I will!” Spike counters angrily.
There is a pause lasting exactly 3 seconds, wherein Angel’s eyes get wider and wider, and then Spike’s head hits the side of the box with a heavy thud.
“You have a therapist?” Angel asks, glee and delight growing exponentially. Then he begins to laugh uncontrollably as he can hear Spike swearing. He'll never let him live this down. Angel might be naked and tied up, but he still feels as though the universe has finally given him a break.
One day later.
“For crying out loud Angel, are you ever going to stop laughing?”
“Not likely...”
Spike now has a large bruise on his forehead.
Two days later.
“Hey, Spike... did you say he was a werewolf?”
“Who? Dr Thilbault? Yeah...”
He sighs.
“Well... I’ve been wondering if there was something I could do for Nina, you see, and talking to a qualified professional with the same issues might be really helpful...”
Three days later.
“You... and Anna.”
“Yup.”
“Seriously?”
“M-hm!” Spike tone is very smug indeed.
“But...”
“Hey - she wasn’t a big shot TV star then! She was just a failed actress who couldn’t get any jobs on account of the horns. Fuck knows why she never tried sci-fi before. Oh and...”
Angel can hear the smile in Spike’s voice, and wonders what’s coming now.
“Dunno what she paid for the boob job, but it was worth it! Pretty darn flawless...”
Angel rolls his eyes. “And Buffy doesn’t have any problems with this?”
Spike shifts a little. “It was a long time ago. Just a bit of fun, really.”
Angel is just about to respond when they both hear a faint sound. Moments later the front of the cage gets wrenched open, and they blink against the bright light. There is some spluttering and then a call for blankets.
A short while later they’re physically comfortable for the first time in days - wrapped up in large blankets, sipping some blood - and at the same time desperately trying to ignore the tittering behind their backs. There have probably been more humiliating incidents in his life, but right now Angel can’t think of any.
Spike shoots him an odd look, something brimming in his eyes, and asks, voice surprisingly genuine, “Hey - wanna come along to a meeting sometime? You could meet the doctor and maybe see what you can arrange for Nina...”
Taken by surprise at the request Angel finds himself agreeing, only later wondering why he didn’t just ask for the guy’s phone number...
One week later.
“Hello everyone - brought someone along tonight. Please say hello to Angel! Yes, that Angel! I’m sure you remember me talkin’ about him, yeah? Well he’s no good at communicating, so let me just do a quick run-through of his issues or we’ll still be sat here in a year’s time waitin’ for him to talk... Now, where to start...”
Angel opens his mouth to say something about this not being why he’s here, but Spike continues without pause.
“Right - before he got cursed with a soul he was ‘The Worst Vampire in the World’, and now he thinks he’s the best. Emotionally stunted - possibly due to childhood traumas of some sort, he’s never opened up - a control freak, has a hero complex and thinks he carries the fate of humankind on his shoulders. Because of this he’s always making decisions for others, can’t admit he’s wrong, and has a real knack for destroying the world instead of saving it!”
Spike looks around the small circle. “Think that covers the basics...”
Then he turns to a speechless Angel, and the look in his eyes is unmistakable.
‘This is what you get for laughing at me for three days!’