Deep breath. Introducing - The Bangel Show!

[elisi]

Well, now I know. I wish I didn’t, but there it is. The producer (Stacey) came a while ago. She had one of those perfect smiles that always makes me slightly scared. Anyway, she said she’d come to explain things to me, so I would be up to speed for the dinner party tonight! (More on this later! *shudder*).

It turned into one of those long conversations, where I had to keep asking her to repeat things, so I’ll give you a summary that hopefully will make sense....

Do you remember The Truman Show? Well, it wasn’t a film - it was real! Only after Truman escaped, they were sort of at a loss as to what to do with this huge studio.

But then, much to everyone’s joy, AtS was cancelled. I said something about it being a documentary, didn’t I? Well, apparently it was. And written into the fine print of Buffy’s and Angel’s contracts was the clause that once both shows were finished, Angel would shanshu and they would get married and move to the suburbs... and what more perfect place for them to live than ‘Sea Haven’, Florida? It already had all the cameras and sets ready, so once ‘Not Fade Away’ was over, they started getting ready to produce ‘Happily Ever After’ (also known as ‘The Bangel Show’)!!!! *sigh*

Now, they needed lots of extras, and apparently I thought it would be a good idea to apply. The producers wanted an english couple and since we obviously met whichever criteria they used, last autumn we moved over here and settled down. Which is why I have this lovely tan...

Well, on 24th of November Buffy and Angel got married and had this HUGE wedding (which would explain why there are Bangel wedding photos on my wall...) and the viewing figures beat even the Charles and Diana wedding!

So, it seems I’m stuck in the Bangel ‘Happily Ever After’ show... I still think it might be some kind of hell dimension - or maybe just on of the Senior Partner’s holding dimensions? It would seem plausible, after what I learned next:

Stacey: “Well, we’ve not done an amnesia story line before, so that’ll work like a charm! It should make for good conversation at the dinner party!”
Me: “Dinner party?”
Stacey: “Oh, Buffy and Angel are holding a dinner party tonight. It’s gonna be wonderful. She’s a bit nervous, because they’ve never hosted one before and of course she wants everything to be perfect - he’s probably mowing the lawn now, so it’ll look lovely for tonight!”
Me: “Huh?”
Stacey: “Well, it’s just a small party of course. You, the Finn’s-”
Me: “The Finn’s??? As in Sam and Riley?”
Stacey: “Of course! They have the most adorable little girl now. We’re hoping that she’ll make Buffy broody!”
Me: “Emmm...”
Stacey: “Then of course there’s Mr. Harris and a few attractive young women for him to talk to, the Woods - having a mixed race couple is doing wonders for our viewing figures! - and the Osbournes!”
Me: “The... the Osbournes? Ozzy and Sharon live here????”
Stacey: “What? Of course not! I’m talking about Willow and Oz!”
Me: “They’re... married? But... she’s gay! And he’s a werewolf!”
Stacey: “Well, she managed to get the wolfiness under control with her magic powers! Happy endings all around!”

I have to go now - husband and children came back a little while ago, and we have to get ready for the dinner party! I’ll report back later, at least I’ll try to... just before Stacey left, I asked done last question: “But... but what about Spike?” But she just muttered something and left. I’m confused and worried!

Next part.