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Day 3.
I'm finding that focussing on the word count, rather than the words themselves, is working rather well. Of course what I've written is pretty terrible, but it's there, and that feels good. Plus, today I wrote lots of arguments, and they're always fun. Especially since I've had them in my head for many many months, if not years, now and again running through them, making sure I remember all the details and bits of dialogue. Really, writing feels like transcribing a film only I can see. Which also sometimes makes me feel almost divorced from the story, if that makes sense? I mean, I know that I came up with it, but it's sort of like my brain came up with it independently of me and it feels weird to take credit for it.
Aaaand I should probably stop now - if anyone reads this I'll come across as a complete nutcase. Ah well.
4171 / 30000 words. 14% done!
Aaaand I should probably stop now - if anyone reads this I'll come across as a complete nutcase. Ah well.
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Oh I'm not saying it's easy. Well sometimes it is, but it is ridiculously frustrating to have these beautifully flowing scenes in my head that then turn all stilted and slow on paper.
I must, must, must try harder to accept that a lousy first draft is okay, great even, as long as I'm getting it out there. As the saying goes, the only you can't edit is a blank piece of paper.
Very very true. Like I said, this whole word-counting is working very well, because I have to stop myself from trying to re-think every sentence (or word, even) as I write and just go on to the next bit.
My daughter the artist's motto (literally - she used it on her coat of arms for Social class) is: I'll Fix it Later. LOL! And she does, too. I really have to make that the family motto.
That is a good motto. And considering how much I enjoy editing, it's bizarre that I STILL have such a problem with first drafts...
Nice to read about your writing exploits, because writing is a damn lonely business even with all those voices in your head. :0)
Thank you for commenting - as you say, it is a very lonely thing. (I bought 'The Writer's Tale' by Russel T. Davies recently and DEVOURED it. He used to be the head writer for Doctor Who, and the book is essentially e-mails between him and Benjamin Cook (a friend and journalist) about writing and ideas and the absolute AGONY it can be...)
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My favorite bit is the email in response to the question about "how do you know when to start actually writing?" And he replies with four pages of the truest truth that's ever been truthed about procrastination and last minute panic and gut-eating fear and self-loathing and and and . . .
It is the single most reassuring thing I've ever read.
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Also, it amuses me that just around the same time - as the horrible trust part - Moffat sends him an e-mail saying something like 'Do you ever want to just open the window and shout 'I don't have a clue what I'm doing!'?')
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Oh, dear god, I would be a wreck. And yet, I approach most things I do in much the same way, so if that's just how I'm going to be, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to get the satisfaction of writing out of it.
One of my favourite parts is where he gets an idea as he is writing (WHAT IF IT WAS WILF???) and the exhilaration just shines through wonderfully.
LOL, so are you saying this doesn't happen to you? Hmmm. It is fun to get swept up with RTD's enthusiasm, though.
'Do you ever want to just open the window and shout 'I don't have a clue what I'm doing!'?'
Yes! That was awesome. Something about Moffat just makes me feel better about life.
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And if you did it professionally you'd have an editor and so on... So, who knows? (I'd love to find out.)
LOL, so are you saying this doesn't happen to you?
OH IT DOES! It was the joy of recognition. There is nothing like it, although often it's not plot-stuff so much as seeing a connection (see why so much of my fic is full of meta? I use insight to fuel my stories. *g*). I could give you... many examples (just ask), but for now I shall just use my own fanwank of the Schism, and why the Timelords chose such a 'barbaric' rite of passage. Basically I think that looking into the Schism is what somehow 'kick-starts' a Timelord (or Lady's) mind. The Doctor repeatedly says that he can [always] see all of time (or at least the highlights), and I can't imagine being born knowing all that. So the Schism either helps them break through into that part of their mind, or they absorb the time vortex somehow, and that's where they get their knowledge. So it's barbaric, but also vital for making them what they are. It also explains the age thing, since at 8 years old they'd be old enough to understand the difference between reality and eternity.
Aaaanyway, the reason I worked this out, was because of my 'Not the Last' fic (wherein the Master has a son during The Year That Never Was, and doesn't die. It's all very AU.) and I was wondering what would happen when the boy turned eight, and whether the Doctor would choose the Schism or not... See? Fic and meta, wrapped up in each other. *g*
Yes! That was awesome. Something about Moffat just makes me feel better about life.
Oh yes. :)
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I love the back and forth between fic and meta, the way they interfuse each other. I feel like when I burn out on one I switch over to the other and the creativity starts flowing again and everything I discovered on one side of the equation transfers over to the other :-)
I'm putting together a fic right now that's like super-fused meta about River being . . . not superstitious, exactly, but ritualistic--needing her own personalized ceremonies and such to structure her life.
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:)
Perhaps around eight years old is the right window in more ways than one?
Exactly - I was thinking along those lines too. (I much prefer to work out logical explanations, rather than just complain about 'the Timelords being evil'!)
I love the back and forth between fic and meta, the way they interfuse each other. I feel like when I burn out on one I switch over to the other and the creativity starts flowing again and everything I discovered on one side of the equation transfers over to the other :-)
*nods vigorously* (And I'd add vids to that, since vids can often draw beautiful parallels or highlight things I'd never thought of.)
I'm putting together a fic right now that's like super-fused meta about River being . . . not superstitious, exactly, but ritualistic--needing her own personalized ceremonies and such to structure her life.
Ooooh, looking forward to it!