elisi | My Doctor.

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My Doctor.

Dear Ten, it is not your fault. You were beautiful and broken - broke far too beautifully to be honest, I couldn’t take my eyes off you - and I loved you entirely too much. Still do, of course.

But - and this is something I’ve come to realise lately - the Doctor isn’t supposed to be a broken, tragic, lonely hero. Nor is the Doctor supposed to be the handsome prince on a white horse. (Even though you carried it off *perfectly*. Because you were Ten, and oh yes, you were just that brilliant!)

You see, the Doctor is supposed to be the wizard. The kind, barmy, wonderful old wizard with his magic box. (Wizards are powerful and can be dangerous, never forget this.)

And it’s only now that we are hearing that story again that I realise that this is how it’s supposed to be.

Of course there’s a princess (when isn’t there? I've loved them all), and I am happier than I can express that this time she’s got her very own prince, a noble young man who wins her hand in a truly marvellous display of love and devotion.

So my dear, dear Ten, believe me when I say that you’ll always be my Ten. But - and I am so, so sorry - I have to confess that Eleven is my Doctor!

ETA: Inspired by these two posts.

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The thing that sort of crystalized The Doctor in my head was listening to an audio book on writing where it discussed the need for the protagonist to change over the course of a story then it backtracked to say that this isn't universally true. There are central characters whose purpose is to bring change to other characters. That's The Doctor. His companions and the people he meets should change. Changes (other than in the specifics of his quirks) aren't nearly as important for a 900+ year old alien. It's not really a question of who the Doctor 'will become' it's who he is. And I think Ten drifted away from that which was why, by the end, we kept hitting the same note that The Doctor will be alone... because that is the Doctor. And that is his story. And no companion will ever stay. But that can only be restated in so many ways before it's just the reiteration of the same idea over and over again. I think it helps to go back to showing that what's important are the ways that he changes the people around him.

(And I think poor Donna may have been sacrificed to the Doctor who can't change problem because it ceased to be about her journey and her change in favor of reiterating yet again that the Doctor cannot change. Not really). So as a companion, she got hit with the same stick.

And I'm still irked over Donna's fate. Can you tell?

There are central characters whose purpose is to bring change to other characters. That's The Doctor.
*nods* Someone wrote a longer post than mine about this a few months ago, and it's stuck in my head ever since, because suddenly it all made sense.

But that can only be restated in so many ways before it's just the reiteration of the same idea over and over again. I think it helps to go back to showing that what's important are the ways that he changes the people around him.
*nods*

(And I think poor Donna may have been sacrificed to the Doctor who can't change problem because it ceased to be about her journey and her change in favor of reiterating yet again that the Doctor cannot change. Not really). So as a companion, she got hit with the same stick.
Yes, there is some truth in that. Also, the problem with Donna and Rose was 'forever'. Once someone says that you *have* to break things to take it back.

And I'm still irked over Donna's fate. Can you tell?
You're not alone...

ETA: It just occurred to me that thanks to regeneration the Doctor *does* change, but it's a different sort of change. (Not sure where I'm going with that, I just wanted to write it down. *g*)

Edited 2010-06-30 09:34 (UTC)

I totally agree. I always saw the Doctor as a "catalyst" not a focus.

He's the thing you drop into a situation to change it, not to change him.

I'd rather say that Ten is my doctor and Moffat's DW is my Doctor Who, if it makes any sense.

I blame David Tennant! ;- )

I blame David Tennant! ;- )
Seems perfectly reasonable!

I think you're right - THE Doctor is 1-7 inclusive. And Eleven. Not convinced about Eight. Nine and Ten were performed by wonderful actors, but they were always a touch too much about RTD's agenda, which is not always The Doctor's. Matt Smith is so very believably related to Hartnell, Troughton and Baker(1).

I can't claim that my insight is new - I've read quite a few posts stating the same thing - but I began thinking about the show in fairy tale terms, and suddenly it all made sense.

And I don't blame RTD for his agenda, since without him we wouldn't have a show at all, and I loved so much about his tenure, but something's just clicked with this latest series. :)

S5 has been my least favourite season of New Who so far. Don't get me wrong, I've loved S5 and I love Eleven, but Ten is still my Doctor.

I have to admit that Rory has been the best thing to come out of S5 for me. I adore him! :)

ITA to that. Actually to every word; especially the Rory part.

Of course I like the brokenness of 9 and 10. It makes them more relatable IMO...

Don't get me wrong, I've loved S5 and I love Eleven, but Ten is still my Doctor.
See this is what I was expecting my own reaction to be. And then I realised that somehow Eleven became *mine* and was wondering how on earth that happened...

I have to admit that Rory has been the best thing to come out of S5 for me. I adore him! :)
Rory is made of pure win. ♥

I don't really have a Doctor, even though I'm more likely to click on stuff relating to either Ten or Eleven since I like keeping up with the present.... mostly because "my Doctor" is an amalgamation of his various characteristics in various incarnations.... after all he is the sum of his parts.

But I really do love that Eleven has become more like how the Doctor was meant to be initially. To me Ten was a stage where his broken-ness got to a point where he couldn't handle it, but Eleven is where he finally begins to let go.... yet there are still signs of underlying darkness so we don't forget, so that we are reminded of where he's been.

after all he is the sum of his parts.
*nods* Definitely.

But I really do love that Eleven has become more like how the Doctor was meant to be initially.
Old Who fans can see all sorts of traits in him harking back years and years. :)

To me Ten was a stage where his broken-ness got to a point where he couldn't handle it, but Eleven is where he finally begins to let go.... yet there are still signs of underlying darkness so we don't forget, so that we are reminded of where he's been.
Absolutely. And I remember towards the end of Ten's time, when he was running and running, that I wanted to tell him to stop, because I was sure he'd be feel *so* much better once he'd regenerated. *pets poor Ten*

When season four ended, I was heartsbroken; Ten had gotten me into a fandom which got me out of a very rough time in my life, and I was horrified by the idea that my anchor was being taken away and replaced with some new face, and body, and Doctor, that I'd never heard of. I have to admit, with a guilty face, that I was one of the harshest critics of Matt Smith no matter what I saw right up until I saw the first five minutes of The Eleventh Hour. During which I was smitten. Over the next weeks, my friends started to comment that I have many of the same physical quirks that Eleven does. I've always spun, and I flex my jaw a lot, and I hold my fingers up when I'm making a point... I even talk a little like him. And by the time River Song came back into the show, I realised that Ten was no longer my Doctor. Ten, Five... Both firm favourites, and they always will be. But Eleven is, and will be, my Doctor. He's the first Doctor who I trusted IMMEDIATELY, feel such a strong pull to, and rather than my Ten muse, feel absolutely no desire to upset in fanfiction. I want to protect Eleven, and since those "bad times" are back in my life, the way he behaves like a big brother or a father, a protector, someone who can understand... I'm sure it sounds pathetic, but he's actually a dream, right now.

When season four ended, I was heartsbroken; Ten had gotten me into a fandom which got me out of a very rough time in my life, and I was horrified by the idea that my anchor was being taken away and replaced with some new face, and body, and Doctor, that I'd never heard of.
Oh I can absolutely understand that.

And by the time River Song came back into the show, I realised that Ten was no longer my Doctor. Ten, Five... Both firm favourites, and they always will be. But Eleven is, and will be, my Doctor.
It's the strangest thing, isn't it? And I can't even claim any kind of similarity to him - it's just that his *oddness* works for me in ways I'ver never known before.

He's the first Doctor who I trusted IMMEDIATELY, feel such a strong pull to, and rather than my Ten muse, feel absolutely no desire to upset in fanfiction.
Oh same here! Which is problematic, because I have a story in the Seeker 'verse that'll have to feature Eleven, but was thought up before we had him, and now it doesn't really work. *grumbles*

I want to protect Eleven, and since those "bad times" are back in my life, the way he behaves like a big brother or a father, a protector, someone who can understand... I'm sure it sounds pathetic, but he's actually a dream, right now.
I can understand that very well indeed! *sends many hugs*

I love my Wizard Doctor.

Me too! :)

Yup. That's pretty much it. :)

I'm feeling all clever now. :)

I am about to go to work, and then to Wales for a week, so I will have to catch up on newer posts after that. But in the mean time, this post made me smile very much. And you may well have seen it already, but so did this. :)

Hope you have a fabulous time in Wales!!!

But in the mean time, this post made me smile very much.
Aw, thank you. I was so happy to finally be able to put into words how I feel about them both, because Ten... Well he's Ten, y'know? But Eleventy is just MAGIC!

And you may well have seen it already, but so did this. :)
I hadn't no! THANK YOU! *dies laughing*

argh this short post is all kinds of perfect!

You see, the Doctor is supposed to be the wizard. The kind, barmy, wonderful old wizard with his magic box. (Wizards are powerful and can be dangerous, never forget this.)

I see Eleven as a kind of Merlin figure. He is very old and very kind, but he has power, alot of it and he can use that power on demand. If you make him angry, he will turn on you. But then, just as quickly, he goes back to his blue box (his crystal cave) and goes somewhere else, weary, old and tired, but never giving up.

argh this short post is all kinds of perfect!
♥ I am generally not very good at being succinct, but sometimes I manage to get it right, and this is one of those times. I often feel that all the reams and reams of Ten & Eleven meta I produce is quite simply an expansion of this post...

I see Eleven as a kind of Merlin figure. He is very old and very kind, but he has power, alot of it and he can use that power on demand. If you make him angry, he will turn on you. But then, just as quickly, he goes back to his blue box (his crystal cave) and goes somewhere else, weary, old and tired, but never giving up.
*nods* Merlin or Gandalf ("Do not take me for some cheap conjurer of tricks!") - he has power, and he will use it, but he's not a warrior, and he's happiest creating fire works displays or blowing elaborate smoke rings... Plus wizards are always SECRETIVE and never give anything away. :)

*quotes every single word*

♥

Indeed we do, share-a-brain!! OMG. And I read beer's postie. I think I love her, too.

There is so much love, I'm going to have a good cry now...

*SQUISHES YOU*

And yes...he is the Guidepost - but the COMPANIONS are the heroes. We see through their eyes, they save the day, teach the old man new tricks and guide the show. I just...I can't even!!

Indeed we do, share-a-brain!! OMG.
Same turn of phrase and everything! *insert X-files music or similar*

And I read beer's postie. I think I love her, too.
HIM! BGF is that rarest of creatures - a fanboy thoroughly integrated in a female-heavy fandom. (And he is truly awesome, and I often share a brain with him too.)

*SQUISHSQUISHSQUISH*

And yes...he is the Guidepost - but the COMPANIONS are the heroes. We see through their eyes, they save the day, teach the old man new tricks and guide the show. I just...I can't even!!
IKR? I have written THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of words trying to get to the heart of why he's so amazing, but I've still not managed it. (I've also written a TON of stuff about just how RTD messed up Ten, which I can link you to sometime when you have TIME. It ain't going anywhere.) Also I've watched a little of Four and a fair bit of Seven, and it's ridiculous how much I can see of them in Eleven. (Seven especially - Eleven is like Seven, but with added dottiness. <3)

Actually, I remember very clearly writing this post after The Pandorica Opens, the final point of which was: Dear Doctor, I hope you save the universe by being kind. And he DID! (The post turned into a love letter to Eleven btw if you're curious.)

OK, I could go on FOREVER... Should probably hit post.

ETA: Have you read The Writers Tale btw? I love it to PIECES and I have THE most respect for Rusty as a writer. I also believe that he just never really 'got' the Doctor - not in the same fundamental way that Moffat does. But RTD is still the man who brought the show back and who did MARVELLOUS things, so I'm not complaining at all. I'm just aware of where he went wrong - although it was an INTERESTING wrong, so I'm happy. Om nom nom broken Ten.

Edited 2012-05-31 18:30 (UTC)

Eeeeee!! Awesome....*grins*

Oh dear! I stand, lay down, dance and do hand-stands corrected! *Sends apologies and flowers...for my fail and for his resilience surrounded by fangirls*

There is no way to pin down all the awesome, even with a Million words. Thus the endless reading and ficcing, lol!! Right?! And Two! He's got a lot of Two in him. And the Seventh was the 'Trickster', lol! Or the Magician - so...very fitting. And yes, the old man is MUCH crazier than he was then, lol!!

READ IT. FANGIRLED. WILL PIMP.

RTD is a marvy writer. Love all that he has done for us. Just love the thinky/hurty/smash-us-all-to-bits-and-watch-us-beg-for-more of Moffat (and that endless TROLLING!) but Ten was lovely and Doctory and gosh, I adored him. Just...ELEVEN. *Helplessly*

*SQUISHES*

Hey look at me finally answering comments! (I've got to stop talking and start writing the OTHER final chapter - well it's an epilogue, really - that's hanging over me. Although that one I've got all planned out & should be fun.)

Oh dear! I stand, lay down, dance and do hand-stands corrected! *Sends apologies and flowers...for my fail and for his resilience surrounded by fangirls*
Well it's only natural to assume people are girls. But BGF is awesome & male & Swedish. Which is rather unusual around here, really...

There is no way to pin down all the awesome, even with a Million words. Thus the endless reading and ficcing, lol!! Right?! And Two! He's got a lot of Two in him. And the Seventh was the 'Trickster', lol! Or the Magician - so...very fitting. And yes, the old man is MUCH crazier than he was then, lol!!
I have been told very reliably that Two is THE Doctor, so I am very much looking forward to meeting him one day. Although for now my Classic love is given to Seven and his Trickster-y-ness. <3 Look, I even have a Trickster icon of Eleven. (It's from the Christmas special, and there was this Trickster/jester RIGHT NEXT TO HIM on the curtain... Love the set dressers.)

READ IT. FANGIRLED. WILL PIMP.
I saw. *squish*

RTD is a marvy writer. Love all that he has done for us. Just love the thinky/hurty/smash-us-all-to-bits-and-watch-us-beg-for-more of Moffat (and that endless TROLLING!) but Ten was lovely and Doctory and gosh, I adored him. Just...ELEVEN. *Helplessly*
Yeah, this. *g* ELEVEN!

Edited 2012-06-03 20:23 (UTC)

LOL!! I understand - sometimes it takes a bit. RL, FicLife - gets in the way at times. More than understandable! As long as you poke your head out now and again, I will be contented!

Well then, I will remember his rarity and awesomeness. I still bow to his superior strength and ability to share-a-brain!!

I ADORE that icon!! So ELEVENTY...

Eeeee!! Love good squishes...

Right?!

*HAPPY!DANCE*

Oh this place is where I manage to get the strength to cope with RL. Won't EVER leave, that's for sure. :)

And let's all cheer for BGF!

The icon is another I had Kathy make for me... I swear that woman is a saint. (Mmmmm Tricksters. ADORE them.)

*dances with you*

Love this... it is great and totes how I feel only as well as 11 I also love 3....

also I can't have ten as my doctor when I have a friend who looks like this *points to dp

I totally agree with this. The Doctor is the Wizard. He's the Stranger. He's the Trickster.

And I agree that this is one reason why 11 works so much better for me.

It never occurred to me either that the Doctor should be broken. I always took the Doctor as a man who had figured out his life, figured out what he wanted, and had given up everything that wasn't that thing.

Yes, there is some tragedy in that, but there is also boundless joy. And to me, that's what the Doctor is, a man who may have tragedies, but he acknowledges them and moves on, they don't control him, or limit him, or make him tragic.

Instead he looks toward the future, as a Time Lord he knows he can't change his past (unfortunately something that Moff has messed with, which I think has damaged the dramatic credibility of the show a bit, if the original thing can simply be altered, then what do the consequences of those things matter?)

But, I always took the Doctor to be the sort of kindly Wizard figure. Someone surprising and amazing who appeared and changed your world for the better. Not someone who needed your shoulder to cry on because of his own "tragedies."

So, yeah, I like that aspect of 11. And, frankly, I have more respect for him. For all that Matt looks younger, and 11 acts so childlike at times, I do often feel he's the more mature "wise" one.

So, yeah, I prefer the Wizard to the Tragic Hero. Wizards are supposed to impress and surprise us, not make us pity them.

And I've never been comfortable with the idea that I was supposed to pity the Doctor.

I always thought he was the guy with the greatest life in the universe.

I totally agree with this. The Doctor is the Wizard. He's the Stranger. He's the Trickster.
And I never knew until 11. And then it was suddenly so obvious. (I dealt with all the issues in depth here, in case you haven't seen it: The Tragedy and Death of the Lonely God and the Rise of the Trickster. Or: How Moffat re-booted DW
.

It never occurred to me either that the Doctor should be broken. I always took the Doctor as a man who had figured out his life, figured out what he wanted, and had given up everything that wasn't that thing.
See I came from Buffy & Angel, so Broken Hero was right up my alley - and having never watched DW before, I didn't know it was wrong...

Yes, there is some tragedy in that, but there is also boundless joy. And to me, that's what the Doctor is, a man who may have tragedies, but he acknowledges them and moves on, they don't control him, or limit him, or make him tragic.
"I'm not running away. This is one corner of one country, in one continent on one planet that's a corner of a galaxy, that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond and there is so much, so much, to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things. I'm running to them, before they flare and fade forever. It's all right. Our lives won't run the same. They can't. One day, soon, maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while."

Instead he looks toward the future, as a Time Lord he knows he can't change his past (unfortunately something that Moff has messed with, which I think has damaged the dramatic credibility of the show a bit, if the original thing can simply be altered, then what do the consequences of those things matter?)
The show always messed with that. Moffat has just used it as a plot point and story line and looked how far you can take it, set down some rules. It's what the whole of TWoRS & TATM turns around - some things can't be altered. Others can. And there are always consequences for messing with things. River - as always - is central to this. He can't alter her death (or life) - can't change one tiny thing for the woman he loves. OK, so he erases himself (much in the way of the cracks) - so she doesn't spend forever in prison, but that is a minor thing. She dies, and he can't save her. He loses his Ponds, and can't do a thing to get them back. Time travel has rules, and he has to follow them.

But, I always took the Doctor to be the sort of kindly Wizard figure. Someone surprising and amazing who appeared and changed your world for the better. Not someone who needed your shoulder to cry on because of his own "tragedies."
*cue picture of Ten in the rain* (Or, as

owlsie put it yesterday: "he's like fire and ice and sobbing in the rain"... ;)

So, yeah, I like that aspect of 11. And, frankly, I have more respect for him. For all that Matt looks younger, and 11 acts so childlike at times, I do often feel he's the more mature "wise" one.
"Back when I first started at the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important, like you do when you're young." Oh, and there is a a lovely quote from Kim which I'll hunt out in a moment. ETA: From Kim (by Kipling) - an old Indian woman is speaking: "The sahibs never grow old. They dance and they play like children when they are grandfathers. A strong-backed breed." I always think of Eleven when I read that. (How anyone can even begin to understand DW without knowing Kim always baffles me, but what can you do. *g*)

So, yeah, I prefer the Wizard to the Tragic Hero. Wizards are supposed to impress and surprise us, not make us pity them.
Yup. I am very fond of Ten, but I far too often say 'poor Ten'.

I always thought he was the guy with the greatest life in the universe.
Totally! :) (I want Eleven to die saying 'Geronimo'. :)

Edited 2013-10-06 09:31 (UTC)

Oh my God. This post is... this is what I think. This is what I discovered going through Eleven, this is when I saw I had gotten the hang of Doctor Who not completely right (because every Doctor is the Doctor and has the right to be a bastard if he wants, or a lonely god like Ten decided to be), and when I devoted my soul to this show completely. Ten is still my Doctor, but thanks to Eleven I realised there is more than him in this show, it broaded my mind and it made me fell in love with the Doctor himself and with the show.

This is so TRUE that it brought tears to my eyes:

And it’s only now that we are hearing that story again that I realise that this is how it’s supposed to be.

YES, YES, YES.

PS: Do you mind if I friend you? I took a look at your meta and there is a lot! I can use some meta for when I want to procrastinate (like right now), especially because I saw you wrote a lot about some of my most favourite episodes. Thanks in advance and I hope you have a good day!

Oh my God. This post is... this is what I think.
\o/

This is what I discovered going through Eleven, this is when I saw I had gotten the hang of Doctor Who not completely right
As I didn't grow up with the show (not being English) I came to it through the reboot. This post was my attempt at putting into words the effect that Eleven had on me. How something clicked that I hadn't known I - or rather the show - needed. This is who the Doctor was. Like... magic.

when I devoted my soul to this show completely. Ten is still my Doctor, but thanks to Eleven I realised there is more than him in this show, it broaded my mind and it made me fell in love with the Doctor himself and with the show.
Well Eleven is my Doctor (I thought it was Ten, but I just fell for his gorgeous brokenness, because I'm a sucker for that), but Eleven is my Doctor. And with Twelve now here, I can say it for certain. I like Twelve very much, but Eleven is *mine*.

This is so TRUE that it brought tears to my eyes:
♥

PS: Do you mind if I friend you? I took a look at your meta and there is a lot! I can use some meta for when I want to procrastinate (like right now), especially because I saw you wrote a lot about some of my most favourite episodes. Thanks in advance and I hope you have a good day!
Of COURSE you can friend me! Welcome, welcome, have some tea and biscuits and make yourself at home. My meta master post is here. For individual episodes, you're best following the season tags, but all the bigger essays are linked in that post. (As are the tags.) Enjoy - I write FAR TOO MUCH! (Just to warn you.)

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My Doctor.

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