I'm not familiar with that phrase. I do see his behavior as abusive, or at the least terribly disrespectful.
I agree that it's disrespectful - I don't think anyone would dispute that. But you wrote the word "Abusive" in all caps -- which is the equivalent of screaming in internet parlance. There is a very long step from inconsiderate/disrespectful behavior to abusive behavior, and Riley's behavior far closer in the range of the former than the latter. Outside of Scott Hope, he's the lease abusive of Buffy's boyfriends.
In any case, I think we're probably talking past each other. The characters, and show, do criticize Buffy here - and it may be artless and grating, but there is a point to be made. Her boyfriend is unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship, and she is too preoccupied (and those preoccupations of hers are very legitimate...) to notice and seems unwilling to address it. But if you are going to have a relationship and ask for devotion, you also do need to have consideration to your partner's aspiration. There's a duty either give someone more of what they need, or to let them go if you can't or won't.
Viewership of the show has the bad habit of viewing Riley as an interloper, treating his perspective as if it's not legitimate and unnecessarily vilifying him. (It's not enough for them to be a bad match, he has to be a jerk of epic proportions...)
To me, the real point of their relationship is that they just don't really fit together long term. So how do you handle being in a relationship you shouldn't stay in and how do you get out of it. That sort of story is anathema to the grand shipping culture of fandom, which I think, is a big part of why Buffy/Riley gets such a terrible shake whenever it's discussed. Breakups like this are pretty true to life, if not some of the more fantastical story elements. A girlfriend and I broke up mutually because were conducting job searches that would take us to different cities and realized we just didn't belong together.
no subject
I agree that it's disrespectful - I don't think anyone would dispute that. But you wrote the word "Abusive" in all caps -- which is the equivalent of screaming in internet parlance. There is a very long step from inconsiderate/disrespectful behavior to abusive behavior, and Riley's behavior far closer in the range of the former than the latter. Outside of Scott Hope, he's the lease abusive of Buffy's boyfriends.
In any case, I think we're probably talking past each other. The characters, and show, do criticize Buffy here - and it may be artless and grating, but there is a point to be made. Her boyfriend is unhappy and unfulfilled in the relationship, and she is too preoccupied (and those preoccupations of hers are very legitimate...) to notice and seems unwilling to address it. But if you are going to have a relationship and ask for devotion, you also do need to have consideration to your partner's aspiration. There's a duty either give someone more of what they need, or to let them go if you can't or won't.
Viewership of the show has the bad habit of viewing Riley as an interloper, treating his perspective as if it's not legitimate and unnecessarily vilifying him. (It's not enough for them to be a bad match, he has to be a jerk of epic proportions...)
To me, the real point of their relationship is that they just don't really fit together long term. So how do you handle being in a relationship you shouldn't stay in and how do you get out of it. That sort of story is anathema to the grand shipping culture of fandom, which I think, is a big part of why Buffy/Riley gets such a terrible shake whenever it's discussed.
Breakups like this are pretty true to life, if not some of the more fantastical story elements. A girlfriend and I broke up mutually because were conducting job searches that would take us to different cities and realized we just didn't belong together.