I really don’t think Spike had either in Normal Again.
I knew someone would pick up on that! I was wondering if I should expand on it, but decided that then it'd just turn into a Spike essay...

Anyway, what I meant (and didn't put across very well) is that Buffy listens to, and takes note of, Spike's words in 'Normal Again'. We can see how his understanding is limited and flawed, but it hits Buffy so hard that it pushes her over the edge. In 'Doomed' she shook off Riley's words because 'he didn't know her', even though his words carried a lot of truth. But Spike manages to get under her skin far more effectively. Partly because this is what he's good at (using words to hurt and unsettle), and partly because she fears that he is right - that she is a creature of the dark like him.

Spike does not begin to understand Buffy until around/after NLM - which is when she begins to open up more, and he (having a soul now) can actually figure out what that means.

(I sincerely hope that made sense... Thank you for your v. interesting comment btw.)