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For all the 'just housewives' out there
I was going to post this months ago and then just kept forgetting. A comment by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fer1213 reminded me, so here it is. Two little things to cheer up those of you who're stuck at home every day:
From the mouth of Marge...
I suppose most of you watch The Simpsons, and I worry sometimes at how much I can identify with Marge... there was an episode a while ago where an old friend of Marge's came back to town, now a succesful journalist. One day Lisa (who obviously adores 'the successful woman') tells her mother that this woman has won yet another award. This is Marge's response:
"I just made the bathroom floor smell like lemons. Where's my award for that? Eh? Eh?"
I wanted to hug the tv...
Mom's job
A few months ago my mother sent me a link to this story. You can find it here if you want to send it on, but I'll just copy it out:
A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well, rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation.
"Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded.
Before I could answer - and I didn't really have one handy - she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her "occupation," Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a ......?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."
"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title, like "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"And what is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm....a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants---age 13, 7, and 3. And upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model (six months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt triumphant. I had scored a beat on bureaucracy. And I had gone down on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another......"
Home...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.
fer1213 reminded me, so here it is. Two little things to cheer up those of you who're stuck at home every day:From the mouth of Marge...
I suppose most of you watch The Simpsons, and I worry sometimes at how much I can identify with Marge... there was an episode a while ago where an old friend of Marge's came back to town, now a succesful journalist. One day Lisa (who obviously adores 'the successful woman') tells her mother that this woman has won yet another award. This is Marge's response:
"I just made the bathroom floor smell like lemons. Where's my award for that? Eh? Eh?"
I wanted to hug the tv...
Mom's job
A few months ago my mother sent me a link to this story. You can find it here if you want to send it on, but I'll just copy it out:
A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well, rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation.
"Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded.
Before I could answer - and I didn't really have one handy - she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her "occupation," Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a ......?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."
"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title, like "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"And what is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm....a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants---age 13, 7, and 3. And upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model (six months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt triumphant. I had scored a beat on bureaucracy. And I had gone down on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another......"
Home...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the door.
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Thanks, I needed that. I've been feeling just a LITTLE underappreciated lately to the point I've thought of writing up a mock invoice for my "services". Because obviously fairies come into the house and set everything to right while I sit and eat bon bons all day.
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Bwah! Oh, dear you made me cough again, but that was funny! :)
Must go now and sort out the mess that's identical to the one I tidied yesterday and the day before that and the day before that... however did I cope before LJ? (And I've been enjoying all your recent posts btw, sorry I haven't commented)
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I applaud any woman who chooses to raise her family and care for her home. It's a hard, time-consuming job, sometimes isolating when the only people you talk to are small children and a tired husband for days on end, but I know that most of the young mothers with whom I work would much rather be home with their kids.
Kudos to you and all the other Research Associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.
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::sigh::
It is rather a Sisyphus-like task isn't it? And we comment when we can. It's the curse of being a "housewife" with no scheduled coffee breaks or lunch hours.
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It is rather... and even when I can't be bothered to sort it out, it still irritates me. Hey - maybe I should just have posted a rant instead! ;)
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ROFL! There's a debate going on in Canada because they want to put 10 billion dollars into a national daycare program...but stay-at-home parents can't have a tax break. They honestly believe that the best child care is outside the home, and that it's "education". ::sees red:: Of course, as any educator will tell you, one on one, with gobs of love thrown in, is the best learning system. Because shocking though it may be to our government, most mothers are not junkies who don't even feed their kids, never mind teach them things.
OMG I ranted!!!! ::cleans it up::
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My view on feminism is that every person should have the right to choose, and if (s)he chooses her/his family over career (s) should be supported just as much as the parent who returns to work. The term "just a housewife/just a houseman" sets my teeth on edge.
I applaud any person who chooses to raise her/bis family and care for her/his home. It's a hard, time-consuming job, sometimes isolating when the only people you talk to are small children and a tired spouse for days on end, but I know that most of the young parents with whom I work would much rather be home with their kids.
To me being a feminist means that you have the right to choose whether you go to work or not. If you want to stay at home and look after the children, you should be rewarded for that, wether the person doing so is a man or a woman.
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Of course, as any educator will tell you, one on one, with gobs of love thrown in, is the best learning system.
::standing ovation::
The thing is, there *is* a place for childcare. Impish Girl (nearly 4) goes to a playgroup for 2 1/2 hours every morning. I get a break and she has fun with lots of other children her own age. But there is a vast difference between a few hours every day and 9-5. I know some people don't have a choice, but surely everyone can see that it isn't ideal?
Also studies have shown that children who have a stay-at-home parent are much less likely to go off the rails.
Hm, I think you might have started something...
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And *that* is why this is one of my hot-button topics. I'm old enough to have been a young adult when staying at home became something to be looked down on, as if a woman who stayed at home was a lazy sow who just watched tv and fucked the cable guy. Urrrrrgh!
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There is that. 'Mother' should be a job description - and a valued and appreciated one at that! And never feel ashamed! You are doing society a incredible favour by bringing up happy, well-adjusted children, that will one day grow into happy, useful adults who'll contribute vastly to society! ::nods::
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Cause sadly enough, female oriented jobs, no matter what the job, are still seen as less then the socalled male professions. We're working on it, luckily, and it's good that more and more women are joining those socalled male professions. But it's time to broaden the horizon and make sure that the female professions are just as open to men.
It's unfortunately the only way to make men accept them as equal and to get these jobs the respect they deserve.
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It's sometimes more than difficult to get those who have not experienced this first-hand to understand this concept. My husband stayed home with our WeeOne for the first three years of her life before economics began to rule the roost. And though he wished for a little more adult interaction during the last year and a half or so before returning to the salt mines, since he's returned to work, he realizes now just how lucky he/she/we were for that time he had with her.
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signed,
Proud, liberal, cranky SAHM
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Ha! I love that line.
And i love that article, though I agree with Fer that it's a shame that in order to make her job as a mother seem more respectable it had ot be put in such terms, as a secretary would on her own resume, upgrading herself to clerical assistant. No upgrading should be needed, though i know in this world, it still is clear many people have no clue what being a mother, a homemaker, involves. And that there is no curling up on the couch, with some nailpolish and bon-bons and your afternoon programs.
Recently, on some news channel, they were trying to estimate how much a homemaker would make if she were paid for all that she did. They estimated about $130,000. Staring at that figure, i was flabbergasted. My brother-in-law makes more than that as a friggin' corporate lawyer and he's not even coming close to bringing up a child in this world. *sigh*
Either way, i applaud you all :)
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that there is no curling up on the couch, with some nailpolish and bon-bons and your afternoon programs.
It's such a stereotypical image, isn't it? I can't remember the last time I watched day-time tv actually (apart from maybe the news at lunchtime). Of course that might have something to do with the fact that all the programmes are rubbish...
I wish someone would pay me that kind of money though... even half would be nice. *sigh*
Either way, i applaud you all :)
Thanks - and all the best to you and especially your mother. ::hugs::
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Heeee! Too true. I do feel mothers (and probably fathers) are probably vastly underacknowledged in society for the important stuff - like raising children. Perhaps people view it as too personal/private an issue to be celebrated. A shame in any case.
I don't know if it's a more general problem when people say "oh she's just a mother" or "just a housewife", because it does tend to affect more women-centric jobs. How many times have I heard "oh she's just a secretary" or "oh she's just a nurse"?
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That's a good point. And then of course there are those people who can talk of nothing *but* their children and how marvelous they are, which I'm sure puts people off.
Maybe we should campaign to get rid of the word 'just'?