Twilight-y stuff. (Also known as procrastination.)

[elisi]

So, until today I had never heard of Caitlin Flanagan (the author of To Hell With All That (2006). She is currently working on Girl Land, a book about the emotional life of pubescent girls.), and it turns out that she is a Twilight fan. (I can see why. Oooooh yes.) She has a review here, which I skimmed (lots of stuff about 'the emotional life of pubescent girls' which made my eyes glaze over), but at the top of page two I was greeted with this astonishing declaration:

Twilight is fantastic. It’s a page-turner that pops out a lurching, frightening ending I never saw coming.

What? *boggles* [ETA: Unless she means 'Breaking Dawn', in which case - absolutely!] My mind immediately sprang back to my first experience of Twilight - shinga's reviews (beginning here), and her summary of the ending:

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT

THE REST OF THE BOOK: *is boring*

BELLA: *gets the crap kicked out of her and it’s amazing how boring that scene actually is*

EDWARD: *saves her*

READERS: *aren’t surprised and find this incredibly predictable and stupid*

THIRTEEN YEAR OLD FANGIRLS: THAT IS SO ROMANTIC.

PLOT: *never really shows up and probably committed suicide*

THE END

READERS: So this is what a lobotomy feels like!

BELLA: I LOVE EDWARD.

~~~

I can understand the appeal of teenage fantasies and OTT romance (even if it does nothing for me), but to claim that the ending is *surprising* is... words fail me.


BUT - in happier news I also found what might be the funniest review of the movie so far: ENJOY!

Comments

[ruuger]

I don't know, I haven't read the book but from what I've heard about it, I sure would be frightened and surprised by the fact that the reader is supposed to find Bella and Edward's relationship romantic ;D

[elisi]

Bwahahahahahahahaha! :D

[molly_may]

You know, it's not Flanagan's defense of Twilight that I found annoying; to each her own, and if she found it entertaining then good for her. What ticked me off in that essay was her saying "I hate Y.A. novels; they bore me." That's an incredibly obnoxious generalization by someone who obviously hasn't read a very diverse selection of YA novels.

[elisi]

That's an incredibly obnoxious generalization by someone who obviously hasn't read a very diverse selection of YA novels.
It is rather. (As a teenager I - amongst other things - *inhaled* everything I could find by Diana Wynne Jones... And now I'm buying her books for my girls!)

[mefnord.livejournal.com]

Tehee - I listened to the whole thing, although manfriend is talkinhg about me on the phone (with his mom - always interesting)!

Thanks for sharing that link.

[elisi]

My pleasure! :)

[empresspatti.livejournal.com]

First off - your icon! *diez laughing*

Twilight - not even going there. Spike would whup Edward's ass.

[empresspatti.livejournal.com]

Egads! I am going there - girlfriend dragged me to the movie. Bored, bored, bored - but Then! I noticed that they forgot to put makeup on Edward's ears.

So there they were - all pink and shiny against his white, white makeup. It was great!

[elisi]

So there they were - all pink and shiny against his white, white makeup. It was great!
Fantastic!

[elisi]

I love my icon. *squishes*

Spike would whup Edward's ass.
I am desperately trying to avoid any plotbunnies. Especially since I'd probably end up crossing it over with Torchwood again, and THREE 'verses? Just too much.

[garfpooky.livejournal.com]

haha, my coworker lent me Twilight and so far, shinga's reviews are very accurate XD

[elisi]

Thanks to shinga (and cleolinda and stoney321) I never need to read that book! :)

[confusedkayt.livejournal.com]

Sigh. I think it says bad things about me that I felt like this article had a great deal of explanatory power... I'll admit it. I read Twilight and liked it, breathlessly. When I stopped to think about it for even 30 seconds, I could not for the life of me figure out *why.* And it wasn't just me and the teeny-boppers - other bright adults (graduate students in the psych department, a bunch of attorneys in the prosecutor's office) were breathless for them too. *facepalm* I guess I have the emotional life of a pubescent girl. :P

I guess the ending is surprising in that there's a sudden juggernaut of action, and real violence, that wasn't really telegraphed beforehand.

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

It's not just you; everyone where I work has been reading them too. There's even been an organized pilgrimage to Forks.

I haven't read it, but a co-worker loaned the book to me, and I sort of feel obligated now...

[confusedkayt.livejournal.com]

Oh, do! And not just because I secretly hope somebody else 'round here thinks they're fun in their own right. Although, the teasing on LJ makes me so happy and giggly, too, so at least I haven't totally lost it. :D

[elisi]

*facepalm* I guess I have the emotional life of a pubescent girl. :P
Well you're hiding it very well on a day-to-day basis is all I can say! Anyway, I think it might be more about the book taking you *back* to that period, and who doesn't get all emotional being reminded what it's like to be 13? (I found the ending telling, where she likened Edward waiting for Bella to *her* boyfriend waiting for her, when she was in High School - it's the Mary Sue thing again. Hm... I think the main problem is that SMeyer probably has the emotional life of a pubescent girl.)

I guess the ending is surprising in that there's a sudden juggernaut of action, and real violence, that wasn't really telegraphed beforehand.
What? Plot? Really? *faints*

[owenthurman.livejournal.com]

Ug, have you read any of Caitlin Flanagan's other stories in The Atlantic? Maybe you could try the ones about about the the trauma of raising children and being a highly paid writer who works from home and has family money and why she should have a nanny. Or about her luxury vacations to Hawai'i and how much trouble they are.

Oh, yeah. I'm not surprised she likes Twilight.

[elisi]

Ug, have you read any of Caitlin Flanagan's other stories in The Atlantic?
I have not, and I don't intend to. Not just because of what you describe, but because the way she writes - she's obviously one of these people who looks at the world from her own pet-theory, and *everything* becomes tainted. (She is a woman. She feels a particular way. Ergo every woman feels this way.)

[lynnenne]

I think, before taking any of her reviews seriously, readers might want to check out the Publisher's Weekly review of her book: "...it's easy to overlook that she offers no evidence to back up her chief notion 'that women have a deeply felt emotional connection to housekeeping.' Coming from someone who admits she doesn't change her sheets or clean her house (the maid does it), it's hard to take this assertion seriously."

Yes, this is a woman I'd trust to tell me about women's experiences. :S

Then, readers might want to have a look at the 1970 essay from which Flanagan's title is stolen: Goodbye to All That, by feminist author Robin Morgan, and her 2008 follow-up, a scathing commentary on the sexism visited on Hillary Clinton during the primaries by the mainstream media. Frankly, these essays speak to me far more than sparkling vampires ever could.

[elisi]

Yes, this is a woman I'd trust to tell me about women's experiences. :S
As I said to owenthruman above, even from just reading the one article, her reasoning clearly goes as follows: 'I'm a woman. I feel a particular way. Ergo every woman feels this way.' Which is flawed logic. (And as a housewife who DOES change the sheets, allow me to say that housework might be an emotional thing, but mostly along the lines of 'Bloody hell, does it never stop?' ;) )

Frankly, these essays speak to me far more than sparkling vampires ever could.
*nods* I think the sparkly vampires are symptom though. Bella LOVES housework f.ex., apart from being the ultimate teenage Mary Sue, so I am beginning to see how this woman feels like the books were pretty much written for her.

[lynnenne]

allow me to say that housework might be an emotional thing, but mostly along the lines of 'Bloody hell, does it never stop?'

Hahahaha, yes. I feel the same way, and I don't even have children!

[elisi]

It's funny, because I was never the tidy type *until* I had children...

[adoxerella.livejournal.com]

That was the bestest review ever!
*giggle*

As a teenager I was reading sci-fi and fantasy, not romance. That might be why I really, really don't get Twilight at all. I mean come on if you had F'lar and Lessa or Eddie and Bella as reading options, who would you choose?

*smuggles in a carrot for a certain plot bunny*

[elisi]

That was the bestest review ever!
Wasn't it just? I must re-watch!

As a teenager I was reading sci-fi and fantasy, not romance. That might be why I really, really don't get Twilight at all.
Same here. I grew up with Tolkien, C.S.Lewis and Kipling, and as a teenager moved on to McCaffrey, Douglas Adams, the Elfquest saga (do you know them? Cutter/Leetah were my first proper ship, even though I didn't know it. Look!), Dune and a ton of other stuff.

I mean come on if you had F'lar and Lessa or Eddie and Bella as reading options, who would you choose?
You know, it had never occurred to me to compare the two until now. Do you think maybe we could sell Pern books, disguised as Twilight? Because Lessa is a role model to be proud of. (Also, it's odd to look back on those books and see all the flaws, because I never noticed back then.) (OK, so I always thought that 'Dolphins of Pern' was pants, but...)

*smuggles in a carrot for a certain plot bunny*
*ignores carrot and points to icon* Once I'm done with my Immortal epic, I shall concentrate on my Spangelly one. (OK, so it's not *actually* Spike/Angel, but a continuation of what was onscreen, BUT - you will love it, trust me.)

[kitmarlowescot2.livejournal.com]

*rolls eyes* That woman is nuts. Sheesh.

[elisi]

So I'm discovering. Guess we learn something new every day. ;)