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Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.
(This post brought to you now because I need to stop reading about Sarah Palin and getting depressed. Let's mock the sparkle instead! More links than you can shake a shiny vampire at under the cut!
First of all, if you have NO IDEA what this whole thing is about, this admirably short comic sums it up in 4 panels: Twilight Sucks.
I also laughed a lot at this comic: Idiot's Guide to Vampire Fics, because - dude!
Anyway, this whole phenomenon was first brought to my attention by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shipperx (thank you!!!), who linked to shinga's chapter-by-chapter synopsis of Twilight, and it's still one of my favourite things ever!
Meanwhiletkp has a comic book style review (brilliant!) and buttfacemakani has a sort of acerbic running commentary thing.
And of course there'scleolinda who has the longest and most in-depth summaries - here's the one for Twilight. (Just follow tags and links for the rest!)
Also I'm sure a lot of you have by now come acrossstoney321 LDS Sparkledammerung - fabulous, fabulous summaries of all books, with lots of manips and SPARKLES!
otahyoni did a 'catalogue' review (it'll make sense when you see it), and avadriel also weighs in with a very scathing review.
But what about 'real' reviews? Here are the two I've come across:
Washington Post.
The Sunday Times.
(The second one a lot more polite ('cause it's English, don't you know) than the first, both are very interesting and with excellent observations.)
Of course there's also lots of wank (fandom_wank is enjoying the heck out of Twilight, and with good reason!)
For icons, go here! (Or just snag them from F_W - there are TONS and they're all wonderful.)
Aaaaaanyway, then we get Growing Up Cullen (lots of posts, just follow the tags), which has - joy of joy - pretty much become canon thanks to the leaked parts of 'Midnight Sun' ('Twilight' from Edward's POV). Growing Up Cullen is... hysterical, although you do get capslock fatigue after a while. (My favourite bit might just be this: I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE. IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES. COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM <-canon, I tells ya! Canon!)
Nearly there...cleolinda also has Midnight sun commentary, which is excellent! And the book actually makes Edward more interesting - which ties in with my final thing, which is R. Pattison (who played Cedric in HP, and who plays Edward in the Twilight movie) talking about his character:
"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."
The movie might just be worth watching...
Anyway - no, I haven't read any of the books and I don't plan on doing so (romance ain't really my *thing*, srsl). However I feel justified in mocking them, since I think their 'message' (not that they have one, because SMeyer doesn't do messages) is pretty awful (Girls - you are nothing without your man! Oh - and being beautiful is all that matters!). And now I HAVE to run - gah!
First of all, if you have NO IDEA what this whole thing is about, this admirably short comic sums it up in 4 panels: Twilight Sucks.
I also laughed a lot at this comic: Idiot's Guide to Vampire Fics, because - dude!
Anyway, this whole phenomenon was first brought to my attention by
shipperx (thank you!!!), who linked to shinga's chapter-by-chapter synopsis of Twilight, and it's still one of my favourite things ever!Meanwhile
tkp has a comic book style review (brilliant!) and buttfacemakani has a sort of acerbic running commentary thing.And of course there's
cleolinda who has the longest and most in-depth summaries - here's the one for Twilight. (Just follow tags and links for the rest!)Also I'm sure a lot of you have by now come across
stoney321 LDS Sparkledammerung - fabulous, fabulous summaries of all books, with lots of manips and SPARKLES! otahyoni did a 'catalogue' review (it'll make sense when you see it), and avadriel also weighs in with a very scathing review.But what about 'real' reviews? Here are the two I've come across:
Washington Post.
The Sunday Times.
(The second one a lot more polite ('cause it's English, don't you know) than the first, both are very interesting and with excellent observations.)
Of course there's also lots of wank (fandom_wank is enjoying the heck out of Twilight, and with good reason!)
For icons, go here! (Or just snag them from F_W - there are TONS and they're all wonderful.)
Aaaaaanyway, then we get Growing Up Cullen (lots of posts, just follow the tags), which has - joy of joy - pretty much become canon thanks to the leaked parts of 'Midnight Sun' ('Twilight' from Edward's POV). Growing Up Cullen is... hysterical, although you do get capslock fatigue after a while. (My favourite bit might just be this: I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE. IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES. COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM <-canon, I tells ya! Canon!)
Nearly there...
cleolinda also has Midnight sun commentary, which is excellent! And the book actually makes Edward more interesting - which ties in with my final thing, which is R. Pattison (who played Cedric in HP, and who plays Edward in the Twilight movie) talking about his character:"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."
The movie might just be worth watching...
Anyway - no, I haven't read any of the books and I don't plan on doing so (romance ain't really my *thing*, srsl). However I feel justified in mocking them, since I think their 'message' (not that they have one, because SMeyer doesn't do messages) is pretty awful (Girls - you are nothing without your man! Oh - and being beautiful is all that matters!). And now I HAVE to run - gah!
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And there NEEDS to be fic!
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Whereas sparkly vampires is just totally funny - even if the film makers want us to think it is serious!
Edited because the 'K' is getting very sticky on this computer - I should check before Ipost!!
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*nods* Part of me just wants to grab popcorn and enjoy the show, but the other part of me is worriedly repeating 'It's my world too!'
Whereas sparkly vampires is just totally funny - even if the film makers want us to think it is serious!
Indeed. Let's just hope the books/movie don't warp too many young girls' minds!
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And that quote from Pattison is love. Is that real? I might have to watch this movie too...
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Oh it's not mine - it's like the fandom's motto! (*g*)
And that quote from Pattison is love. Is that real?
100% genuine! I'm just a little in love with him! :)
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I loved the Post review. I swear, its more fun reading the snark about those books than actually reading the books.
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Same here. And romance really isn't my thing anyway, so...
I swear, its more fun reading the snark about those books than actually reading the books.
The snark is also well-written!
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My pleasure!
and now I have to mock it to get the horrible taste out of my mind.
Now *that* is a neat phrase! Enjoy the mockage. :)
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It's funny, because the books sound appallingly bad - but the book discussion is fantastic!
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Same here. I mean, I don't have time for *quality* stuff, so twaddle doesn't get a look in. And I compiled this for me as much as everyone else! *g*
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And you totally know that Angel would be freaking out about these books. You know how he gets about bad vampire stereotypes, he'd get so pissy, and Spike would be torn as to whether to mock Angel or the books because they are so bad they're funny.
Don't get me started about Palin. I swear I'm thinking of moving over there if McCain wins. I don't think I can handle 4 more years of this crap.
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So it would seem. The worrying thing being that this got *published*...
And you totally know that Angel would be freaking out about these books.
*giggles* I can just hear him in my head. "They SPARKLE???? And... play baseball?" ::tries to picture the Fanged Four playing baseball:: ::dies::
I swear I'm thinking of moving over there if McCain wins.
You'll be more than welcome - Yorkshire is a lovely place, if a little wet.
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Great minds clearly think alike! *nods*
Like you, I haven't read the books, but it's so fun watching all the wank from the sidelines.
It's guilt-free wank. I love it. Enjoy all the links! (Although it EATS your time, omg.)
I only wish you and I could go to the movie together!!!!
*meeps* That would be too awesome for words! Stupid ocean.
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