More random Buffy thoughts - 'Out Of My Mind'.

[elisi]

Watched ‘Out Of My Mind’ last night while wonderful Mr. Darcy put the girls to bed. He came downstairs about halfway through, looked at the screen (Riley playing basketball with his chums) and said:

"Why are you watching a crappy Riley episode?"...[beat] "Or does it have naked Spike in it too?"

Sometimes he knows me far too well...

Having read a few analysis of this episode fairly recently, I'm going to skip all the stuff that people normally focus on, and just write about the few things that stood out for me.



First point I *have* to mention is the B/R sex scene! No! Come back! Please keep reading!

Buffy and Riley lying in bed, all snuggled up in sheets.
RILEY: Yeah.
BUFFY: Mm, that was relaxing.

Me (thinking ahead more than a season):

BUFFY: (panting) Uh ... we missed the bed again.
SPIKE: (looks toward the bed) Lucky for the bed.

(Suppresses urge to point at screen and say rude things about poor Riley)

Anyway, what I noticed most about this episode (and it’s about a year and a half since I last saw it, so there was loads off stuff I’d forgotten) was all the parallels between Buffy and Spike. The way they think alike and how utterly frustrated and angry they both are with each other - so, so many sparks!

Of course there’s also Riley behaving like an overexcited puppy the entire time - I almost expected Buffy to put him on a lead, because he was so hyper. He so very obviously want to be ‘super-boy’ because he thinks that's what Buffy wants, but I really don’t think she’s that bothered. Quite frankly, if anything she might like a Riley that’s mature!

Also his macho act really isn’t helping. He spends the entire episode saying how fine he is, and how he doesn’t need any attention, and at the end (after just having had heart surgery) Buffy leaves him to be with her mother, because obviously he’s going to be fine! He’s a bit thick sometime. Kudos to MB for the acting though.

Ok, I noticed this tiny little thing. So tiny in fact that I’m not sure why I’m mentioning it, but I'm just feeling in a sharing mood I guess. Towards the end of Buffy’s and Willow’s lecture conversation, Buffy mentions how much she has to do and how tiring it is. Willow says: “Aw. Poor Buffy's brain.” and does this funny, gentle little tapping thing on Buffy’s head with her fingertips. And it suddenly reminded me of how Dru tippy-taps her fingertips all around Spike’s head in ‘Crush’. I doubt that this was in any way deliberate, but it just jumped out at me. So that’s my brain for you - overanalysing everything!


Well, onto Spike again. *This* line:

SPIKE: Oh, dear, is the enormous hall monitor sick? Tell me, is he gonna die?

made Mr Darcy laugh too! And I just love the way JM delivers it! Hee! :)


Now there is the looooong and tearful B/R scene in the Initiative caves, but what I noticed was Riley hitting the wall:

BUFFY: Your hand is bleeding.
RILEY: (looks at her) Don't feel a thing.

In ‘Afterlife’ Spike punches the wall and gets hurt just like Buffy:

BUFFY: Your hand is hurt.
SPIKE: Hmm. (nods toward her hands) Same with you.

Not sure if any of that means anything, except that Riley tries to be who he thinks Buffy wants - Spike tries to be Buffy. Any thoughts welcome.

But onto Tearful!Buffy:

BUFFY: No! No. Do you think that I spent the last year with you because you had super powers? If that's what I wanted, then I'd be dating Spike.

Me: “Such nice foreshadowing.”
Darcy: “Pffft. Yeah right!”
Me (chanting in my head): “Don’t say anything, don’t say anything, don’t say anything!”
He quite simply refuses to see that the show might think more than 3 eps into the future! Grrr. Anyway, will come back to the foreshadowing later

Oh, and this exchange just kills me:

BUFFY: (firmly) You are *not* going to die.
RILEY: Bet you say that to all the boys.

Ouch!

The whole scene with Spike’s operation is hilarious and I sadly don’t have time to go into it. But now we also come to the point where the most obvious lines are being drawn between Buffy and Spike:

BUFFY: No. There is one peroxided pest whose number is up. When I get my hands on Spike, I'm gonna rip his head off, I'm gonna...
SPIKE: ...bathe in the slayer's blood. Gonna dive in it. Swim in it.

Such strong emotions! It’s so beautifully cut and it’s so clear what we’re being shown!

Also, Buffy knows straight away that Spike would not have stayed at the hospital:

BUFFY: No, uh-uh, he wouldn't do it here. It's too risky. We'll split up. Graham, get on the horn, or the ... pipe, or whatever you guys get on, I-I want you to check animal hospitals, doctors' offices...

She understands how *Spike* thinks, but fails to see how lost and disconnected Riley’s feeling.

(Afterwards, running through the cemetery, the gravestone Spike picks up and throws says: Mama. 1881.

Hmmmm.)

And then onto the dream... and how we all love the dream! I noticed something that’s probably *very, very* obvious, but just never struck me before:

BUFFY: Spike ... I want you.
SPIKE: Buffy, I love you.

She *wants* him, he *loves* her. It isn’t just foreshadowing, it’s a huge, enormous flashing neon sign! Those few words are pretty much at the centre of Season 6!



Now I have spent my whole morning writing silly musings, when I should have been doing sensible things. *sigh*

Comments

[shapinglight]

I always thought that Riley's conversation with Graham was quite important too. Graham mocks Riley for not having a mission of his own any more, for just being the mission's boyfriend, as if that was bad - and Riley minds terribly. However, we later find out that Spike has no objection to being the mission's boyfriend at all and doesn't think it impugns his manhood in any way.

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Great point and so true. And Spike is never threatened by Buffy's power and strength like Riley is. In fact, it's probably one of the things Spike loves most about Buffy.

[elisi]

Oh, definitely! And I really like Graham. He's army through and through, but you know exactly where he's at.

Poor Riley so needs to be the hero... which he can never be around Buffy. Which is another reason why I can't ever see Buffy and Angel together - he has that same need to be a hero, and as the_royal_anna once said, it's doubtful if she'd ever be happy to play Riley to his Buffy. ;)

Spike has no objection to being the mission's boyfriend at all and doesn't think it impugns his manhood in any way.
Funny as it sounds, Spike is far more mature than Riley in the boyfriend stakes!

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Does that gravestone really say that?? I never noticed that!

And there's definitely foreshadowing in the "I want you/I love you" exchange. How interesting is it that even in Spike's subconscious he believes that Buffy could only want his body and not his "heart"?

[elisi]

I owe noticing what the gravestone says to Spring Summer's analysis (from The Soulful Spike Society). It's veeeery interesting, isn't it? And he's talking about being haunted too!

How interesting is it that even in Spike's subconscious he believes that Buffy could only want his body and not his "heart"?
Intersting on far too many levels. I really wish I had the time and brainpower to write something 'proper'.

[calove.livejournal.com]

Now I want to go watch BtVS, too!

::peers at pile of work and feels guilty for escaping for ten minutes::

::sighs heavily::

Thank you for enlivening those ten minutes, anyway!

BUFFY: Your hand is bleeding.
RILEY: (looks at her) Don't feel a thing.

In ‘Afterlife’ Spike punches the wall and gets hurt just like Buffy:

BUFFY: Your hand is hurt.
SPIKE: Hmm. (nods toward her hands) Same with you.

Not sure if any of that means anything, except that Riley tries to be who he thinks Buffy wants - Spike tries to be Buffy.

That's nice. Somebody (I forget who - gah, stupid brain refuses to think about anything except hepatitis) wrote a neat little essay of the importance of hands in the Spike/Buffy relationship - him tending her hands when she comes back from the grave, the touching through the door of Spike's crypt ::sigh::, naturally the flaming hands in Chosen and more. It was clever, and I wish I could rememeber...

BUFFY: Spike ... I want you.
SPIKE: Buffy, I love you.

She *wants* him, he *loves* her.

I noticed that! Mind you - it's about all I did notice. Way too much glorious Spike to look at.

Nice analysis!

[elisi]

I should be tidying the house... but I'm feeling very sleepy what with going to bed late last night.

I'd love to read about all the hand-moments - they're up right there with door moments!

Mmmmm, yummy Spike! ::mind goes astray::

Thanks - I'm not sure it's really an analysis, just a couple of brain waves.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

Was the hands essay done by Tallgent?> For some reason his name popped into my head when I read that. I know his essays were kept at Sparklies but that's still down.

[kathyh]

She understands how *Spike* thinks, but fails to see how lost and disconnected Riley’s feeling.

Interesting, very, very interesting... I haven't seen this episode for ages (As You Were so put me off Riley I find it difficult to watch him now), but it sounds like I need to rewatch.

And then onto the dream... and how we all love the dream! I noticed something that’s probably *very, very* obvious, but just never struck me before:

BUFFY: Spike ... I want you.
SPIKE: Buffy, I love you.

It's never struck me either! Great observations (both by you and by Spike's subconscious *g*).

[elisi]

I don't hate Riley at all, but this episode in particular just makes me want to slap him. But apart from that it's actually v. good - especially all the Spike & Harmony stuff. I could watch them all day!

And it's such a wonderful show - there are always new things to notice! *happy fangirly sigh*

(Oh, and I'll get Chapter 5 off to you in a little while, after yet another nit-picking session!)

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Some really interesting thoughts here! And silly Mr. Darcy, of course there's foreshadowing. I hadn't realized how much there is in this episode (and I never drew the comparison between the two men hitting the wall - cool).

I did just want to comment on this:

Of course there’s also Riley behaving like an overexcited puppy the entire time - I almost expected Buffy to put him on a lead, because he was so hyper.

At least in this episode, that's not really a fair judgement against him as it was the enhancers he was taking that were making him act this way. IMO they went out of their way to show that, as Riley is generally pretty laid back.

I have a lot of thoughts about the Buffy/Riley relationship these days. The way it ended, the way Riley handled what he saw as his distance from Buffy, was all wrong. But I think his motivations behind his actions were grounded in some truth. That relationship collapsed because the both of them failed, not just him.

[elisi]

Foreshadowing is such an important part of the show (I mean, they devoted a whole episode to it once!), that's is silly to just shrug it off. But I can't be bothered arguing at the moment.

Oh, I know it was the drugs that made him hyper - as I said, MB does a great job of acting OTT. When I said 'hyper' I only meant this particular episode.

And re. the B/R relationship - have you read any of Spring Summers analysis? Go here, click on 'Spikecentricity' and read her thoughts on 'The Replacement'. I bet you never knew that it has echoes of 'Passion' all the way through? Also explaining how Buffy closed off her heart and never let Riley in.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

I haven't got anything to contribute, apart from I want you/I love you is also echoed in Dead Things.

[elisi]

Really? When?

[scarlettgirl.livejournal.com]

The "Riley wanting to be the *man*" vs. "Spike seeing Buffy as an equal" has always been an interesting dynamic. Riley, unfortunately is a product of his reality. In his "normal" world men are stronger, faster and more capable of handling the evil. Other than Sam, did we ever see a female field op? I think he just can't emotionally process that Buffy is just better at being the boy than he is.

Spike's reality, on the other hand has proven that evil, strength and cunning have no gender. Some of the baddest bad's in history have been the women he's associated with. It is not even a tiny leap across the mental puddle for him to accept Buffy as an equal whether it be ally or foe. He has a respect for her and her abilities that Riley will never be able to fully grasp.

[elisi]

he just can't emotionally process that Buffy is just better at being the boy than he is.

That's it! And in this ep. she says (of her sexual stamina) that she has the strength of ten men. Riley asks her to change this to women - just for the imagery - but subconsciously too I think it bothers him!

He has a respect for her and her abilities that Riley will never be able to fully grasp.

Oh, yeah! After Darla I think most baddies would look like wet saps anyway. ;)

[poshcat.livejournal.com]

That's what's so great about Spike - he is utterly secure in how hot he is. He doesn't need to be stronger than Buffy, as he knows just what his value is with or without her. I'd like to think he feels the psychic fangirl love ;0)

Poor Spike. I can't help but remember how rotten everyone treated him...up until he heroically saved the world!! Whee!

PS I haven't done any housework in two days. So sue me.

PPS I'm talking about BtVS!!!! You have strange powers over me, my dear.

[elisi]

he is utterly secure in how hot he is

Now that's a good point! ("You never had it so good as me. Never.") He knows what his strengths and weaknesses are!

(And hey - I wrote a 'let Spike get his own back on Riley fic'! ;) )

Housework wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't so mind-numbingly boring.

Can I make you eat bugs too? ;)

[molly_may]

BUFFY: Mm, that was relaxing.

BUFFY: (panting) Uh ... we missed the bed again.

Heehee! That was a great choice of scenes to juxtapose.

She *wants* him, he *loves* her. It isn’t just foreshadowing, it’s a huge, enormous flashing neon sign! Those few words are pretty much at the centre of Season 6!

I think that it's really telling that even in his dream Spike can't imagine Buffy saying that she loves him. Not because it's sad that he can't imagine being worthy of her love - he *isn't* worthy, he's a mass murderer with no moral compass - but that in his subconscious he *knows* he's not worthy, and that she shouldn't love him. He's not put off by her not declaring love for him in the dream - he accepts that as a perfectly rational response. And by knowing (even subconsciously) now that he's not worthy of her love, it's the first step on the road that will one day lead to him turning into someone who will be worthy.

Heh. That last sentence just barely makes sense, but I think you know what I'm trying to say.:)

[elisi]

It was the bed thing. Riley and Buffy never broke anything I'll wager!

And I think I know what you're trying to say. Riley couldn't really understand why Buffy didn't love him - he'd obviously always been good at everything, but then suddenly he's not 'good enough' for this girl. (But that's another discussion). Spike, when he begins to study Buffy better and understand her morals, realises how far from perfect he'll always be in her eyes. And well - she might not love him, but he has other talents! And that moment in 'The Gift' ("I know you'll never love me...") is such a big step - one season later he's fighting to get his soul back!

[spacedoutlooney.livejournal.com]

"Why are you watching a crappy Riley episode?"...[beat] "Or does it have naked Spike in it too?"

Heh. Everyone always sees this as a Riley episode, and I've read a lot of reviews that groan about it. But me, I see it as a Spike episode.

Also, Buffy knows straight away that Spike would not have stayed at the hospital:

BUFFY: No, uh-uh, he wouldn't do it here. It's too risky. We'll split up. Graham, get on the horn, or the ... pipe, or whatever you guys get on, I-I want you to check animal hospitals, doctors' offices...

She understands how *Spike* thinks, but fails to see how lost and disconnected Riley’s feeling.

Oooh, that's nifty. Never noticed that before.

[elisi]

Well it's both I think... a lot of Riley, but just as much Spike. One going up, the other down.

And that connectedness that Spike and Buffy have just really stood out. And that's been there from the start (see how quickly they settle on terms that suit the both of them in Becoming 2)

[spacedoutlooney.livejournal.com]

Also, about Spike's dream, I think it's interesting that he says to Buffy "The mess is yours, Slayer, yours and the boy's," which I take to mean he seems to pretty clearly see Buffy/Riley in trouble. And what's his interaction with them, the times to come to him for information and running into them when they are patrolling?

[elisi]

he seems to pretty clearly see Buffy/Riley in trouble

Oh, that's good! Because in 'Into the Woods' Riley will try to blame him for the mess, when all Spike did was to point it out so neither of them could avoid it anymore. Thanks! :)

[zimshan.livejournal.com]

Wow. I haven't watched this episode in ages...

BUFFY: Your hand is bleeding.
RILEY: (looks at her) Don't feel a thing.

In ‘Afterlife’ Spike punches the wall and gets hurt just like Buffy:

BUFFY: Your hand is hurt.
SPIKE: Hmm. (nods toward her hands) Same with you.

Not sure if any of that means anything, except that Riley tries to be who he thinks Buffy wants - Spike tries to be Buffy.

I can't believe I wouldn't have noticed the parallels there. This just reminds me how long its been since I watched this whole episode. Must have been before 'Afterlife' aired because I definitely would have jumped to the screen saying 'hey that's like the afterlife scene'. Wow. Now I know I need to go back and watch this.

Nevertheless, your comment on how 'Riley tries to be who he thinks Buffy wants-spike tries to be Buffy' has got me thinking, and will probably be floating around in my mind for days. Very interesting thing to focus on when analyzing B/R and B/S....

She understands how *Spike* thinks, but fails to see how lost and disconnected Riley’s feeling.

Bingo! Another important moment to add to the 'Buffy understands how Spike thinks' idea. Goes all the way back to the very first episode of Spike with 'School Hard.' Even then, that's the way it was...

(Afterwards, running through the cemetery, the gravestone Spike picks up and throws says: Mama. 1881. Hmmmm.)

Holy moly. You've got to be kidding me. It's totally insane to think that that was intentional, yet how could it not be. It's sooo freaking specific. Now that whole comment of Fury's on the LMPTM commentary, about casting an actress that resembled what SMG would look like in her 60s, is starting to look abit scary...OMG the essays that could be written about that one...

BUFFY: Spike ... I want you.
SPIKE: Buffy, I love you.

She *wants* him, he *loves* her. It isn’t just foreshadowing, it’s a huge, enormous flashing neon sign! Those few words are pretty much at the centre of Season 6!

You know what's odd is, I always thought that was abit weird that Buffy said 'want', and Spike said 'love', but I never connected this with Season 6. *hits self in the head* Stupid me! You're right! Big huge flashing neon sign! I've watched this scene millions of times and never made the association. Thanks for pointing this one out!!

All and all, very interesting post. Now, I must figure out how I can gain an extra hour this week to rewatch this eppy.

[elisi]

spike tries to be Buffy

I actually got the idea for that from this post by the_royal_anna, where she analyses S6 Buffy/Spike. Go read - it's incredible! And it also deals with the 'Buffy understands Spike' thing!

And you should also read Spring Summers' analysis of this episode (go to the Soulful Spike Society - it's on ly links-list) and click on 'Spikecentricity') - she's the one who alerted me to the gravestone. And has some more thoughts on it than me...

And I've watched that scene a good few times too without ever noticing - funny how something familiar can suddenly become interesting.

[lillianmorgan.livejournal.com]

(Afterwards, running through the cemetery, the gravestone Spike picks up and throws says: Mama. 1881.
Wow. Your brain ::adores you::
We'll split up. Graham, get on the horn, or the ... pipe, or whatever
Well, that's all sort of manly and phallic isn't it?
SPIKE: ...bathe in the slayer's blood. Gonna dive in it. Swim in it.
Well, liquids are sorta feminine imagery.
Yay!!!! Mr Darcy laughed ::bounces:: ::bounces:: ::bounces:: ::falls over::

[elisi]

Sadly I can't take *any* credit for the gravestone - it's all down to Spring Summers (see my reply to zimshan).

Huh. Phallic and feminine... never thought about that! ::ponders::

And Mr Darcy *likes* Buffy (although he much prefers the movie), and he doesn't mind watching as long as I don't try to explain stuff. It's so hard to keep quiet though...

[marsterslady.livejournal.com]

They're not silly musings at all! I love reading them. :)

(Afterwards, running through the cemetery, the gravestone Spike picks up and throws says: Mama. 1881.

Hmmmm.)

Holy cow. I missed that.

I love the foreshadowings that we have with this show. I admire your restraint with not saying anything to Mr. Darcy. :) At least he watches it with you - my husband won't go anywhere near a TV that has Buffy playing on it. ;-)

[elisi]

They're not silly musings at all! I love reading them. :)

::smiles:: I guess that's why I got a livejournal in the first place - so I could share all the random thoughts that bombard my brain.

Re. the gravestone, Spring Summers of The Soulful Spike Society was the one who pointed it out. But once you look you can definitely see it!

my husband won't go anywhere near a TV that has Buffy playing on it. ;-)

And here I was, feeling sorry for myself since I can't have long discussions with him in the manner of thedeadlyhook and toysdream. His'n'hers LJs... *sigh*.

[wendylouwho.livejournal.com]

BUFFY: Spike ... I want you.
SPIKE: Buffy, I love you.

She *wants* him, he *loves* her. It isn’t just foreshadowing, it’s a huge, enormous flashing neon sign! Those few words are pretty much at the centre of Season 6!


Wow, how could I have missed that? Like you said, it was a flashing neon sign, yet I still missed it. Thanks for pointing it out.

I also realize that we have a couple of things in common. SpringSummers analysis are awesome and always full of things I completely missed. Everyone should go over there and read.

And my husband is just like Mr. Darcy when it comes to Buffy. He enjoys watching for the most part, but hates, hates, hates it when I try to explain anything to him, or point out foreshadowing or sub-text. God, but that man can sigh. It just aggravates the stew out of me.

[elisi]

Well I managed to miss the neon-sign all the other times I watched that scene, so I'm not very clever really.

And I'm working my way through Spring Summers... I've just finished her analysis of 'Triangle', which just made me go - "Oh! Of course! I'm stoooopid!" ;)

God, but that man can sigh. It just aggravates the stew out of me.

You have no idea how wonderful it was to read that! It seems this sister thing is developing! :) And what does your SO think about your vid-making? Mine just about tolerates the fanfic, after he read a couple of chapters of my first story, and decided that my writing was rather good. Only now he wishes I'd write something original. *sigh*