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Asylum ficlet (3/4).
Managed to get some time away from the family (soooo peaceful!), so here is the third ficlet. Many hugs & kisses to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kathyh for the quick second beta (she beta'd all the others too, btw, I've been forgetting to credit her). This one is also very, very silly. Will post the fourth (and last) one next week - it is very angsty, so really doesn't go with these two middle ones anywway. (Maybe I should mention that this ain't exactly my best work... I was just having fun. *g* Oh and also I think I ought to point out that despite early indications this isn't slash!)
I own nothing, Joss and Brian Lynch are my Gods etc.
4 years later
“You know what Angel? This is it. I am never working with you again! Ever!”
“These things happen Spike - we were just... unlucky.”
“Unlucky?” Spike’s voice is incredulous. “We’re tied up in a metal box, naked, and you’re saying we’re just ‘unlucky’? Riiiight! ‘One simple job’ you said, ‘Nothing to worry about’ you said, ‘Gramax demons are a piece of cake’, you said. It was your fault that we got captured by The Immortal that time, you know. Well sod that, ‘cause I’m done with being traumatised by you! Fuck knows if I’ll ever get over all the issues you’ve saddled me with-”
Angel resents being tied up mostly because it means that he can’t hit Spike.
“Will you stop yammering Spike? Tell it to your therapist!”
“Too bloody right I will!” Spike counters angrily.
There is a pause lasting exactly 3 seconds, wherein Angel’s eyes get wider and wider, and then Spike’s head hits the side of the box with a heavy thud.
“You have a therapist?” Angel asks, glee and delight growing exponentially. Then he begins to laugh uncontrollably as he can hear Spike swearing. He'll never let him live this down. Angel might be naked and tied up, but he still feels as though the universe has finally given him a break.
***
One day later.
“For crying out loud Angel, are you ever going to stop laughing?”
“Not likely...”
Spike now has a large bruise on his forehead.
***
Two days later.
“Hey, Spike... did you say he was a werewolf?”
“Who? Dr Thilbault? Yeah...”
He sighs.
“Well... I’ve been wondering if there was something I could do for Nina, you see, and talking to a qualified professional with the same issues might be really helpful...”
***
Three days later.
“You... and Anna.”
“Yup.”
“Seriously?”
“M-hm!” Spike tone is very smug indeed.
“But...”
“Hey - she wasn’t a big shot TV star then! She was just a failed actress who couldn’t get any jobs on account of the horns. Fuck knows why she never tried sci-fi before. Oh and...”
Angel can hear the smile in Spike’s voice, and wonders what’s coming now.
“Dunno what she paid for the boob job, but it was worth it! Pretty darn flawless...”
Angel rolls his eyes. “And Buffy doesn’t have any problems with this?”
Spike shifts a little. “It was a long time ago. Just a bit of fun, really.”
Angel is just about to respond when they both hear a faint sound. Moments later the front of the cage gets wrenched open, and they blink against the bright light. There is some spluttering and then a call for blankets.
A short while later they’re physically comfortable for the first time in days - wrapped up in large blankets, sipping some blood - and at the same time desperately trying to ignore the tittering behind their backs. There have probably been more humiliating incidents in his life, but right now Angel can’t think of any.
Spike shoots him an odd look, something brimming in his eyes, and asks, voice surprisingly genuine, “Hey - wanna come along to a meeting sometime? You could meet the doctor and maybe see what you can arrange for Nina...”
Taken by surprise at the request Angel finds himself agreeing, only later wondering why he didn’t just ask for the guy’s phone number...
***
One week later.
“Hello everyone - brought someone along tonight. Please say hello to Angel! Yes, that Angel! I’m sure you remember me talkin’ about him, yeah? Well he’s no good at communicating, so let me just do a quick run-through of his issues or we’ll still be sat here in a year’s time waitin’ for him to talk... Now, where to start...”
Angel opens his mouth to say something about this not being why he’s here, but Spike continues without pause.
“Right - before he got cursed with a soul he was ‘The Worst Vampire in the World’, and now he thinks he’s the best. Emotionally stunted - possibly due to childhood traumas of some sort, he’s never opened up - a control freak, has a hero complex and thinks he carries the fate of humankind on his shoulders. Because of this he’s always making decisions for others, can’t admit he’s wrong, and has a real knack for destroying the world instead of saving it!”
Spike looks around the small circle. “Think that covers the basics...”
Then he turns to a speechless Angel, and the look in his eyes is unmistakable.
‘This is what you get for laughing at me for three days!’
kathyh for the quick second beta (she beta'd all the others too, btw, I've been forgetting to credit her). This one is also very, very silly. Will post the fourth (and last) one next week - it is very angsty, so really doesn't go with these two middle ones anywway. (Maybe I should mention that this ain't exactly my best work... I was just having fun. *g* Oh and also I think I ought to point out that despite early indications this isn't slash!)I own nothing, Joss and Brian Lynch are my Gods etc.
“You know what Angel? This is it. I am never working with you again! Ever!”
“These things happen Spike - we were just... unlucky.”
“Unlucky?” Spike’s voice is incredulous. “We’re tied up in a metal box, naked, and you’re saying we’re just ‘unlucky’? Riiiight! ‘One simple job’ you said, ‘Nothing to worry about’ you said, ‘Gramax demons are a piece of cake’, you said. It was your fault that we got captured by The Immortal that time, you know. Well sod that, ‘cause I’m done with being traumatised by you! Fuck knows if I’ll ever get over all the issues you’ve saddled me with-”
Angel resents being tied up mostly because it means that he can’t hit Spike.
“Will you stop yammering Spike? Tell it to your therapist!”
“Too bloody right I will!” Spike counters angrily.
There is a pause lasting exactly 3 seconds, wherein Angel’s eyes get wider and wider, and then Spike’s head hits the side of the box with a heavy thud.
“You have a therapist?” Angel asks, glee and delight growing exponentially. Then he begins to laugh uncontrollably as he can hear Spike swearing. He'll never let him live this down. Angel might be naked and tied up, but he still feels as though the universe has finally given him a break.
One day later.
“For crying out loud Angel, are you ever going to stop laughing?”
“Not likely...”
Spike now has a large bruise on his forehead.
Two days later.
“Hey, Spike... did you say he was a werewolf?”
“Who? Dr Thilbault? Yeah...”
He sighs.
“Well... I’ve been wondering if there was something I could do for Nina, you see, and talking to a qualified professional with the same issues might be really helpful...”
Three days later.
“You... and Anna.”
“Yup.”
“Seriously?”
“M-hm!” Spike tone is very smug indeed.
“But...”
“Hey - she wasn’t a big shot TV star then! She was just a failed actress who couldn’t get any jobs on account of the horns. Fuck knows why she never tried sci-fi before. Oh and...”
Angel can hear the smile in Spike’s voice, and wonders what’s coming now.
“Dunno what she paid for the boob job, but it was worth it! Pretty darn flawless...”
Angel rolls his eyes. “And Buffy doesn’t have any problems with this?”
Spike shifts a little. “It was a long time ago. Just a bit of fun, really.”
Angel is just about to respond when they both hear a faint sound. Moments later the front of the cage gets wrenched open, and they blink against the bright light. There is some spluttering and then a call for blankets.
A short while later they’re physically comfortable for the first time in days - wrapped up in large blankets, sipping some blood - and at the same time desperately trying to ignore the tittering behind their backs. There have probably been more humiliating incidents in his life, but right now Angel can’t think of any.
Spike shoots him an odd look, something brimming in his eyes, and asks, voice surprisingly genuine, “Hey - wanna come along to a meeting sometime? You could meet the doctor and maybe see what you can arrange for Nina...”
Taken by surprise at the request Angel finds himself agreeing, only later wondering why he didn’t just ask for the guy’s phone number...
One week later.
“Hello everyone - brought someone along tonight. Please say hello to Angel! Yes, that Angel! I’m sure you remember me talkin’ about him, yeah? Well he’s no good at communicating, so let me just do a quick run-through of his issues or we’ll still be sat here in a year’s time waitin’ for him to talk... Now, where to start...”
Angel opens his mouth to say something about this not being why he’s here, but Spike continues without pause.
“Right - before he got cursed with a soul he was ‘The Worst Vampire in the World’, and now he thinks he’s the best. Emotionally stunted - possibly due to childhood traumas of some sort, he’s never opened up - a control freak, has a hero complex and thinks he carries the fate of humankind on his shoulders. Because of this he’s always making decisions for others, can’t admit he’s wrong, and has a real knack for destroying the world instead of saving it!”
Spike looks around the small circle. “Think that covers the basics...”
Then he turns to a speechless Angel, and the look in his eyes is unmistakable.
‘This is what you get for laughing at me for three days!’
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That hadn't actually occurred to me - I was thinking more along the lines of Buffy, Willow & a couple of Slayers. But your scenario certainly has potential... ;)
Angel still needs therapy, desperately.
Absolutely. You see, Spike really *does* care! (Even though he's also getting his own back...)
Thanks for reading. :)
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I giggled through this whole thing. I can't even begin to quote the lines I loved, or I'd just be cutting and pasting the whole thing! Okay, I can't resist!
Angel resents being tied up mostly because it means that he can’t hit Spike.
That just struck me as hilarious. I could see him glowering! And mumbling. And brooding. And then the days of laughter! Angel probably hasn't enjyed something that much in centuries! And wanting to help Nina. Awww! And then Spike's getting his own back! Perfect! Loved, loved, loved this!
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and then : one day later, two days later, three days later... it's just hilarious. And the worst is still to come. Poor Angel. Pets him.
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Yay! *squees a lot*
I giggled through this whole thing.
Which is what *I* did when I first thought of it... *g* So glad it worked (humour can be oh so tricky!)
That just struck me as hilarious. I could see him glowering! And mumbling. And brooding. And then the days of laughter!
Huzzah! I'm so glad he came across like that, because the style was so pared down that I couldn't really do many descriptions, and just had to rely on people bringing their own knowledge along. :)
Angel probably hasn't enjyed something that much in centuries!
Spike accidentally putting himself at Angel's mercy? Once in a lifetime kinda thing!
And wanting to help Nina. Awww!
I really like Angel/Nina! (It features in my WIP. It's lovely to write.)
And then Spike's getting his own back!
Incidentally that was a last-minute addition, since I couldn't work out how to finish it. And then it came to me...
Perfect! Loved, loved, loved this!
Awwww, your feedback is like double-mint-choc-ice-cream! Thank you! *smooches*
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Thank you! :)
it's just hilarious. And the worst is still to come. Poor Angel. Pets him.
Well he had a few very happy days... but poor Angel indeed. I adore him oh so very much! *pets him too*
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And yay for Anna - she can definitely make a career in sci-fi movies - or movies based on comic books. :) Or TV shows which are based on comic books.
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Thank you! :)
Can we have more of this, please?
Sorry, not at the moment. There might be more at *some* point, but for now this is all the funny I've got.
Reminded me of that "Austin Powers" session with Dr.Evil. :) Both guys clearly have Issues.
Oh god! *giggles hysterically* "I had them all liquidated!" I'd totally forgotten that. But yes, there are shades, certainly. :)
And yay for Anna
"They noticed the horns - every time!" I thought that she'd make a great sci-fi/fantasy star. :) And then she'd turn into something of a diva!
And this is how canon goes. or at least it should go
So it started out Funny with Angel Moking Spike, then I went awww at Angel asking for Dr. Thibault's number for Nina. ::Loves sweet Angel::
And then Spike was doing all that psycobabble and you broke me XD
This is priceless. ohhh And Ana's on Si-fi movie/tv stuff.
I love your Asylumverse.
Re: And this is how canon goes. or at least it should go
Angel is a doll. :)
And then Spike was doing all that psycobabble and you broke me XD
Heh. I had SO much fun writing this...
This is priceless.
Thank you! *bows*
ohhh And Ana's on Si-fi movie/tv stuff.
It seemed the obvious solution.
I love your Asylumverse.
Aw thanks! I'm rather fond of it myself - there are so many characters to play with. :) (And your subject line made me smile!)
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(I'd say more, but I think that just about sums up my reaction...)
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Thought you might like it... *g* Although I know it is almost criminal to put them in a situation like that and not go for the sex. But I restrained myself.
Loved it - particularly the way Angel went from laughing at Spike to talking seriously about therapy.
He certainly needs it... and Spike (being the selfless and kind creature that he is) decided to help. ;)
Thanks for reading!
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This is so fabulous! I love every line of it. Too, too funny and charming and I love to imagine that Buffy was part of the rescue party & saw them. She'd treasure that image forever. Hee!
Angel resents being tied up mostly because it means that he can’t hit Spike.
::guffaws::
" ... Well he’s no good at communicating, so let me just do a quick run-through of his issues or we’ll still be sat here in a year’s time waitin’ for him to talk... Now, where to start...”
I love Spike summarizing Angel's issues neatly for the therapy group. ::pictures Angel all scowling & squirmy::
Fabulous!
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Yay! ;)
This is so fabulous! I love every line of it.
Aw, thanks! I did have a lot of fun thinking it up! :)
Too, too funny and charming and I love to imagine that Buffy was part of the rescue party & saw them. She'd treasure that image forever. Hee!
And whenever they'd start talking about how brilliant they were, she could just remind them of this fiasco...
I love Spike summarizing Angel's issues neatly for the therapy group. ::pictures Angel all scowling & squirmy::
If there had been a way of incorporating 'He's a vampire and that's OK' I would have... *giggles*
Fabulous!
Waking up to this was *wonderful*! Today is going to be horribly busy, but this put a smile on my face. *hugs*
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And I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading.
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That Angel's got nothing better to do than laugh at him, when he has so many issues, that three shrinks could live of them. He so deserved the ending :)
(Spike might regret bringing him to therapy though, Angels problems are bound to take up a lot of the group time)
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Thank you! :)
That Angel's got nothing better to do than laugh at him, when he has so many issues, that three shrinks could live of them. He so deserved the ending :)
Oh yes! This one was *so* much fun to do!
(Spike might regret bringing him to therapy though, Angels problems are bound to take up a lot of the group time)
Oh I'm sure Spike would be *full* of helpful suggestions... ;)
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hahaha...I can just see them, bickering on each other quirks :D
(and omg, the icon is beautiful!)
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Brilliant, isn't it? I could write Spike & Angel forever!
And the icon is by