I love your take on post-Chosen Faith. Rings very true. :)

but I've never really seen this as an essential part of Spike's character specifically.
Oh no. Lynch says that it's pretty much a shout-out to when he was on Buffy. I don't think it's a character trait, it's just that Spike is a very good judge of situations and when to call it quits. Of course the flipside to that he'll often seek out battles that are pretty impossible ("What's a Slayer?"). He's a complex guy. :)

but never made the connection
It only came to me as I was writing. I wonder if it was deliberate.

although Gwen's adjusted in a way that Beck, at the start of the story, hasn't. (But by the end?)
I think we've talked about this before, and yes, Gwen is definitely a good example of someone who manages to live with and use her powers. But Spike never met her, so from his POV Dana is the best example.

I do agree with you: 'Asylum' has character development, advances the plot and introduces interesting new characters.
Thank you! :) And I agree that TLWH introduces an interesting concept and quite probably a great story.

It could almost be canon. :)
Heh. Which reminds me that I need to finish off the ficlets I wrote... (canon inspires fic... *g*)