THIS IS THE WORST THING

[elisi]

*Watches video*

*Closes tab*

*Burns computer* https://t.co/P5JU9MozTf

— Yorkshire Tea (@YorkshireTea) May 7, 2020

(Direct link: https://twitter.com/YorkshireTea/status/1258303746313990144)

For anyone non-British, here is Yorkshire Tea's guide to How to make a proper brew

Comments

[owlboy]

I could feel the bile rising in my throat as soon as she said ''I mix a lot of ingredients''

[astrogirl]

Why do I feel the sudden, oddly panicky urge to rush in and swear up and down that this is not a normal American thing? :)

(We do often heat water in the microwave, though. Not me, because I encountered an electric kettle on a trip to Australia, went "WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?" and immediately hunted down one for myself, but I think most Americans are not properly aware of their options in the matter, sadly. If they even drink enough tea to make specialized water-heating equipment seem worthwhile at all.)

[eve11]

Agree, I am horrified. I am horrified by southern sweet tea in general, but omg, heating up iced tea powder in a microwave ... I think that bypasses Limbo/purgatory and puts one straight into like the 7th level of hell.

ETA and yes, the electric kettle is great! I got one for my dad a few years ago and he loves it. He never realized that they have an auto-off functionality once the water boils so he was worried about getting one for a long time.

[gillo]

I knew instantly which video it had to be, so spared myself the cost of the brain bleach by not watching it again. Under no circumstances should that concoction be called tea, or even tea-adjacent.

[elisi]

I think that bypasses Limbo/purgatory and puts one straight into like the 7th level of hell.
*ponders* I'd probably go for the 2nd Circle (The Gluttonous). 7th Circle is Thieves. (Why yes, I am in the middle of reading The Divine Comedy! *g*)

ETA and yes, the electric kettle is great! I got one for my dad a few years ago and he loves it. He never realized that they have an auto-off functionality once the water boils so he was worried about getting one for a long time.
The lack of electric kettles in America is just awful. Like... IDK people still using rotary phones and having to go through to an operator. Am glad you got one for your father, they're fabulous things. <3

[elisi]

It's the way it KEEPS GETTING WORSE. :D

[elisi]

There are plenty of people in the comments saying this too, but British people are certain that no one else knows how to make proper tea.

And - as someone who moved here age 19 - I agree with this. British tea > all other tea.

Re. the issue of kettles then it is BEWILDERING to me that electric kettles are not a thing. Like people still having carriages instead of cars. (I think it's something to do with low voltage in the mains, but even so.)

[elisi]

I feel like surely it can't be real - but on the other hand this is 2020, so *hands*

[eve11]

Theft of innocence maybe? Or theft of a working insulin system. Good lord. The sugar levels in Tang, powdered lemonade AND iced tea mix are astronomical to begin with. Let's add two more cups of sugar for good measure! My teeth ache just thinking about it.

Yeah, Kettles are just not a thing here. I mean enough households have a teapot, but I'd wager it's mostly either stashed somewhere or used for decoration in country kitchens.

[elisi]

!!! OK, had a closer look, and I worked it out:

Tenth Bolgia of the Eight Circle: Falsifiers, those who attempted to alter things through lies or alchemy, or those who tried to pass off false things as real things, such as counterfeiters of coins, are punished here.

The lack of kettles will never make sense to me. Ditto the lack of eggcups??

[wolfy_writing]

Yeah, American, I made it a couple of seconds into the video and was all "We're not all like that!"

Electric kettles really caught on in my family after we found out about them. Even my grandmother who moved into a senior center so she wouldn't have to cook anymore and wanted to get rid of ninety percent of her kitchen equipment decided she could use an electric kettle.

[owlboy]

how do you make cup a soup or instant noodles without a kettle? such foolishness

[desdemonaspace]

I don't even like tea that much, but that is disgusting. All those flavored powders. That isn't tea; it's an abomination.

As for me, in summer I make a giant pot of green tea and chill it, and drink it iced. I quit pop (aka soda) years ago, after a scorching bladder infection. (Sorry, I know, TMI.) Iced tea is my summer go-to drink. No milk, no sugar. It the southern United States it's all "sweet tea." Yuck.

[eve11]

Yeah, for the most part people use microwaved boiling water for those things. Those of us enlightened enough to have electric kettles use them though.

[eve11]

Spot on for the inferno level for sure!

Egg cups are definitely uncommon. Well, I certainly don't own any :D

[astrogirl]

Yeah, our lower electric voltage means they don't work as fast here as in the UK, but if you're only making a couple of cups' worth, it's still only a few minutes.

[astrogirl]

After I bought my electric kettle, my mother decided she really wanted one, too, so I bought one for her, and then she bought one for her mother. I think more Americans would have them, probably, if they knew they were even a thing.

Before that, I was mostly either microwaving water or using a stovetop kettle, which is kind of an annoying thing to do. At one point, my mother tried buying one of these things, which was just... stupid. It seemed like a ridiculously overcomplicated way to make tea, and it wasn't quick. (And, wow, does that article say a lot about tea-drinking in America, I think. OMG.)

[shadowkat]

Regarding the tea video? That's how Southerners make tea. In the South, if you want iced tea or tea period, you have to say "unsweetened" or they'll put sugar in it and not just a little sugar. They find it tasteless without sugar.

In the North, we don't do it that way. You don't have to ask for "unsweetened" iced tea in New York, you can find it easily. But in South Carolina, Georgia, Virginia, Alabama and the South - they like their tea sweet.

I can tell the woman in the video is from the South, just from listening to her - very thick Southern accent.

[elisi]

It's so WEIRD. Like printing an email and sending it in the post, rather than just pressing 'send'.

[elisi]

Spot on for the inferno level for sure!
I was SURE there was something perfect. :)

Egg cups are definitely uncommon. Well, I certainly don't own any :D
But how do you eat boiled eggs??? Sure I don't have eggs daily, but I don't have soup every day either, and I have soup bowls.

/random, not really aimed at you personally

[elisi]

I don't even like tea that much, but that is disgusting. All those flavored powders. That isn't tea; it's an abomination.
It quite literally has no tea in it. :O

As for me, in summer I make a giant pot of green tea and chill it, and drink it iced. I quit pop (aka soda) years ago, after a scorching bladder infection. (Sorry, I know, TMI.) Iced tea is my summer go-to drink. No milk, no sugar. It the southern United States it's all "sweet tea." Yuck.
Cold tea sounds like a sensible thing in summer. And funnily enough in Yorkshire fizzy drinks are known as 'pop'. :)

[owlboy]

that sounds like something Aziraphale would do

[elisi]

Mmm, the accent is very obvious! :D

And the sheer amount of sugar is deadly. Here some people will have sugar, some not. But it tends to be a single teaspoon...

(The main point is of course that there's no tea in what she brewed.)

[elisi]

Oooh, it's a teasmade: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teasmade

Except without the timing function, which seems an oversight...

[elisi]

Again - BEWILDERING.