Icon is relevant

[elisi]

This is amazing. Follow the link, the threads are golden. Like, crying with laughter:

“I am sorry for all the times I stabbed men, just a little, in my previous workplace. After years of counseling, I stopped stabbing men.”

— Kate Harding (@KateHarding) October 28, 2017

And from Vox:

The double life of the “respectable” men who harass women
Harassers don’t just have power over women. They have the social power to get away with it.
Money quote:

That, right there  —  I’d argue  —  is the impulse behind sexual harassment. It’s about getting away with something. It’s about seeming to be one sort of person, a “pillar of the community”  —  responsible, dignified, respectable, a family man, a liberal, a progressive, Presidential, whatever  —  while really being A Very Bad Boy. That’s exciting for some men. Not the being bad part. The getting-away-with-it part. It isn’t just about power over individuals, the women you victimize. It’s about power over society and the court of public opinion, the thrill of risking everything on one roll of the dice, knowing that it isn’t really all that much of a risk  —  because nobody will believe her.

It struck me as particularly relevant re. Joss...

Comments

[owlboy]

Lundy Bancroft makes a point about how counseling generally just makes abusive men even worse, because they're already practised performance artists. They learn how to perform ''remorse'' in therapy and then they go home and abuse their wives/girlfriends all over again.

[elisi]

:(

Yeah, sounds familiar.

[jerusha]

I used to work with groups of DV offenders who were ordered to therapy. I mostly worked with women offenders (which were generally a very different sort of person), but I did some work with the guys. There were two very different sorts of offenders. There were the guys who didn't have many resources, or who were addicted to alcohol or drugs. With more resources, and/or rehab, they felt terrible and made significant changes, and while they might have reoffended, I expected the incidence to be low.

And then there were the other guys. A sharp therapist will catch it, but only those with a relatively cynical nature and a nose for BS. Those guys will talk the talk, but they will do the same thing all over again, because they don't care who they hurt.

So, it really depends on the person, but I would agree that there's a certain kind of person where therapy would just enable them to find the language to snow others in the future, and more effectively.

[sea_thoughts]

OMG that thread!

Is stabbing the accepted term now? My stars, who can keep up anymore! In my day we called them "knifely duties" and y'know, men were happy!

[makd.livejournal.com]

appreciate the link to Kate Harding's tweets. Hilarious.

and yes: it's about power, control, and being arrogantly smug about getting away with it. (Have you read the latest about Bill O'Reilly? What an ass... Does he really think we believe he paid $32+ million because he's innocent?)

[elisi]

It's just pure joy, from one end to the other...

[elisi]

and yes: it's about power, control, and being arrogantly smug about getting away with it.
There was a well-meaning guy somewhere on Twitter, saying how prostitution should be legal, cause then there would be fewer sexual assaults... Suffice to say a LOT of women explained to him at length why this would have very little impact.

Have you read the latest about Bill O'Reilly?
Ooooooh yes. Also, it was God's fault!

[sea_thoughts]

As someone else said on Twitter "GOD AIN'T YOUR LAWYER, GOD IS THE JUDGE!"

[elisi]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!