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Insane Spike Logic. Part 2
Well, here's the last part of my silly little ficlet - I hope it won't disappoint all you impatient people out there! And remember - vampires are like onions... they have layers! ;)
For anyone who missed Part 1, it can be found here. :)
Setting: post-I Only Have Eyes For You
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss is god, blah, blah, blah...
Thank you to
lillianmorgan for beta-ing! :)
Feedback is my crack! Please feed my addiction!
Insane Spike Logic
Part 2
“Slayer!”
Buffy nearly jumped out of her skin. The guy was supposed to be stuck in a wheelchair, not to suddenly pop up like an evil jack-in-the-box when she was patrolling.
“Spike? What are you doing here? Last I knew you were cripple-boy!”
He chuckled. “Well, I got tired of Dru feeding me puppies, so I decided to go for a stroll!”
Buffy felt like smacking her head against a wall. No actually, she felt like smacking his head against a wall: “No, but... I knocked you out and then an organ fell on top of you. A... And there was fire!”
“Well, I got better. Demon here, remember? Supernatural healing.” He took a drag of his cigarette: “Now listen - I have an idea!”
“So do I! I’ll stake you, and make sure I do it right this time!” She held up her stake, making sure he knew she wasn’t making idle threats.
”Aw, but I thought you missed me?” he said, mock concern in his voice. “I’m fun to fight, right? Straightforward evil?” He tried to look innocent, but couldn’t really pull it off.
Buffy’s jaw dropped. “You were spying on me!”
Spike grinned. “That I was. Heard some interesting things too. But you see, it got me thinking... now you slept with the mighty broody one, and he turned all nasty on you. So I thought it’d be fun to see if it’d work in reverse! You sleep with me, and maybe I’ll wake up with a soul, desperate to redeem myself and willin’ to be your new little hunnybunny! What do you say?”
Buffy had been listening with ever increasing disbelief. “You’re insane!” she finally ventured, trying to block sudden thoughts of what Spike might be like in bed.
He shrugged. “Ah, well, suit yourself. Just figured that since he’s shagging my bird, I could do his!” He then looked her straight in the eyes and titled his head slightly, his voice practically a purr: “And if you let me, I could show you a very good time... for a start I don’t need to breathe!”
And his eyes trailed slowly and appreciatively down her body.
Her brain took a while to work out what he meant, but then she blushed and completely forgot what she was going to say. While she was still trying to regain her composure, Spike slipped away into the shadows with a smile and a wink, leaving Buffy very confused and wondering how she could ever have thought him ‘straightforward’.
For anyone who missed Part 1, it can be found here. :)
Setting: post-I Only Have Eyes For You
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss is god, blah, blah, blah...
Thank you to
Feedback is my crack! Please feed my addiction!
Insane Spike Logic
Part 2
“Slayer!”
Buffy nearly jumped out of her skin. The guy was supposed to be stuck in a wheelchair, not to suddenly pop up like an evil jack-in-the-box when she was patrolling.
“Spike? What are you doing here? Last I knew you were cripple-boy!”
He chuckled. “Well, I got tired of Dru feeding me puppies, so I decided to go for a stroll!”
Buffy felt like smacking her head against a wall. No actually, she felt like smacking his head against a wall: “No, but... I knocked you out and then an organ fell on top of you. A... And there was fire!”
“Well, I got better. Demon here, remember? Supernatural healing.” He took a drag of his cigarette: “Now listen - I have an idea!”
“So do I! I’ll stake you, and make sure I do it right this time!” She held up her stake, making sure he knew she wasn’t making idle threats.
”Aw, but I thought you missed me?” he said, mock concern in his voice. “I’m fun to fight, right? Straightforward evil?” He tried to look innocent, but couldn’t really pull it off.
Buffy’s jaw dropped. “You were spying on me!”
Spike grinned. “That I was. Heard some interesting things too. But you see, it got me thinking... now you slept with the mighty broody one, and he turned all nasty on you. So I thought it’d be fun to see if it’d work in reverse! You sleep with me, and maybe I’ll wake up with a soul, desperate to redeem myself and willin’ to be your new little hunnybunny! What do you say?”
Buffy had been listening with ever increasing disbelief. “You’re insane!” she finally ventured, trying to block sudden thoughts of what Spike might be like in bed.
He shrugged. “Ah, well, suit yourself. Just figured that since he’s shagging my bird, I could do his!” He then looked her straight in the eyes and titled his head slightly, his voice practically a purr: “And if you let me, I could show you a very good time... for a start I don’t need to breathe!”
And his eyes trailed slowly and appreciatively down her body.
Her brain took a while to work out what he meant, but then she blushed and completely forgot what she was going to say. While she was still trying to regain her composure, Spike slipped away into the shadows with a smile and a wink, leaving Buffy very confused and wondering how she could ever have thought him ‘straightforward’.

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"So I thought it’d be fun to see if it’d work in reverse! You sleep with me, and maybe I’ll wake up with a soul, desperate to redeem myself and willin’ to be your new little hunnybunny! What do you say?" This was priceless , and so funny.
And Spike's blatant sexual behavior was just..Guh!
This calls for a third part , no? Where Spike shows Buffy that he doesn't need to breathe.. Hum..
Got carried away.
There was already such a (wonderful-heavy-sexual) chemistry between them at the time ..But of course Buffy was in denial. ;)
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A third part???? Oh, no, I can't write smut. Seriously. But all the UST is fun to play with!
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One little nitpick, though, if you don't mind. Buffy saw him at the factory in 'Surprise', so she already knew that he had survived the organ dropping. She wouldn't however, know that he could walk at this point.
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That's the fun of Spuffy - it's the most unlikely relationship ever!
One little nitpick
Aaaargh! ::kicks brain:: You're absolutely right! Now I'll have to fix it and lose my clever pun.
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now you slept with the mighty broody one, and he turned all nasty on you. So I thought it’d be fun to see if it’d work in reverse! You sleep with me, and maybe I’ll wake up with a soul
Typical Spike logic and maybe it wasn't *quite* what eventually happened, but it wasn't far off it *g*. Nice ficlet. Thanks.
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I know!!! Now who could have foreseen that? Thanks for the feedback! :)
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Hee hee hee. nice ficlet.
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LOL! Finally one of Spike's Evil Plans comes to fruition, only it takes 4 years. Evil of him to plant filthy little ideas (I could show you a very good time... for a start I don’t need to breathe) and then leave Buffy to stew in her own--gah, I can't say it, too obvious.
And I love little visual gems like this:
The guy was supposed to be stuck in a wheelchair, not to suddenly pop up like an evil jack-in-the-box when she was patrolling.
Terrific, funny fic.
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Finally one of Spike's Evil Plans comes to fruition
Heee! Their future entanglements made this particularly fun to write! ;)
I don't think anyone has ever said I have visual gems before - thank you so much! (using one of my favourite icons that seems to fit perfectly!)
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::searches for a season 2 icon:: Why don't I have any - wah!
Still love, love, love the evil jack-in-the-box and the end VERY MUCH.
YAY! :)
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Yay! for strange plotbunnies! :)
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::purrs::
Thank goodness!
Lovely. You can't stop now. And ofcourse you can write smut! Just write down the fanatsies and change the name of the female lead to 'Buffy' ;)
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And I'm really, really not going to write more! I have this HUGE WIP waiting to be written, plus at least 2 essays that are getting more insistent. And I'm doing it all for fun?
Insane Spike Logic
Re: Insane Spike Logic
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Ah, well, suit yourself. Just figured that since he’s shagging my bird, I could do his
And 'evil-jack-in-the-box'! LOL!
This is really nicely placed in S3, nice characterisations and all the dialogue is spot on. I'll be looking our for more - hopefully you write waaaaay quicker than I do!
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You know, you really have nailed Spike's insane logic:
Hee! *Thank you* Once that plotbunny popped up, it just wrote itself!
Also thank you for your kind words. I doubt I'll continue this particular story, but you never know. Currently I'm working on my own post-NFA Spuffy fic (completely, utterly different from 'Mortal Wounds') which is going to be loooong - only 5 chapters posted so far, but I reckon there'll be at least 20 all together, possibly more! (It's called 'Maybe Someday' if you wanna check it out?)
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So where can I find 'Maybe Someday'? In your memories?
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And yes, 'Maybe Someday' is in my memories (along with the other stuff I've written - believe it or not, but my first ever fic was Riley-centric!) (He turns up in LA post-TGiQ and lots of fun ensues!) (It's the one called 'Play It Again, Sam' - y'know, now I'm doing the self-pimp anyway!;) )
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