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Spike Essay
It seemed like a few people would like to read this, so I've dug it out, blown off the cobwebs and polished it off! I hope you find it interesting:
Essay: Why Spike stayed in LA and what role he filled in Angel's life
Most people I think see Spike on AtS as a replacement for Cordy - the one who tells Angel where to get off. Which is true to some extent, but I don’t think that’s how it feels to Angel.
So this is my theory as to how Spike replaced Connor in Angel’s world.
To start with Connor, I think that Angel (subconsciously at least) wanted Connor to become a Champion (that dream all fathers have of their son saying “I want to be just like you dad!”). From Deep Down:
Angel: "Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. - It's harsh, and cruel. - But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be. - You're not a part of that yet. - I hope you will be."
And of course in Awakening it's part of the 'Perfect Day':
Connor: “... Is this what it feels like, being a champion?”
Angel: “Pretty much.”
Angel continually tries to reach out to Connor and explain to him the meaning of being a champion, but I think Connor is too damaged to go down that path. He has been so messed around (by Holtz and Evil!Cordy/Jasmine) that he cannot recognise real love, and does not understand that Angel loves him. From Home:
Angel: “Ok, look, let me say this. I love you, son.”
Connor: “It's a lie.”
Angel: “It's not.”
Connor: “It's always a lie.”
Post-mindwipe-Connor does however understand love. And, after getting his memories back, is able to look at what happened and see Angel’s love. But, understanding what Angel did for him, he chooses to take his new life and live. From Origin:
Connor: “Hey, can we... get outta here? I'd like to go back... see my parents. (puts down the axe) This whole fighting thing, I'm not... I'm not really sure it's for me.”
Of course in Not Fade Away, he comes back to help his father with Hamilton, but Angel sends him away to live the life that he gave him:
Angel: “Go home...now.”
Connor: “They'll destroy you.”
Angel: “As long as you're OK, they can't... Go!”
--------------------------------------------
Spike on the other hand is not a damaged child, and he has always understood love. He might blame Angel(us) for making him what he became. From Destiny:
Spike: “Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster.”
But he doesn’t need Angel to fix him. Spike had no prophecies, no higher powers telling him what to do - he chose his own destiny. And (as I’ve come to see it) during the course of AtS s5 - he chose to be a champion! That was of course not the original intention when getting the soul. That was an extraordinary venture, but I don't think he ever had time to think about what it meant. First he was crazy, and then he had to help Buffy fight The First Evil. What the soul made him, was not something he contemplated. And then Buffy chose him as her Champion - he found a greater purpose!
But then he came back - as a ghost - and had many months to observe and ponder. He could see Angel struggle with his decision to take over W&H and he heard about the Shashu prophecy. He probably found out a great deal about what Angel Investigations did prior to taking on the lawfirm.
So when he chooses not to go to Buffy after he is re-corporealised, he is trying to find out who he is. He saved the world and died as a champion, but is that really who he is? Is it what he wants to be? From Harm's Way:
Spike: “I was on my way. Had a boat ticket and all. Then I put a little thinking into it. A man can't go out in a bloody blaze of glory, savin' the world, and then show up 3 months later, tumbling off a cruise ship in the south of France. I mean, I'd love to, don't get me wrong, but, uh, it's hard to top an exit like that.”
And I don't think it's really about Buffy - I think it's about him. Can you be a Champion and Love's Bitch? I don't think so - it's a matter of focus, and where your heart lies. Of course these two meshed for Spike in 'Chosen', but do they still? What does it mean to be a souled vampire?
So when ‘Doyle’ comes, Spike goes along with him, since he has nothing better to do, but he never trusts him completely.
In ‘Soul Purpose’ Angel has the magically-induced nightmares of Spike usurping him. And he wakes up to find the dream coming true - Spike is the Peoples Champion, he helps the helpless. (I’ve seen Spike described as ‘Spike, the Vampire Slayer’ at this point.)
Now looking at this from a story-arch point of view, at the exact time ‘Doyle’ gets taken away, Spike gets something much more important - Angel’s respect! From You're Welcome:
Cordelia: “And you called this guy the big hero?”
Spike (to Angel): “You called me a hero?”
Angel: “I didn't know you were eating people.”
Spike: “It was a taste test, you git.”
He obviously gets a bit unsettled by the fact that he has been played by Lindsey, but from then on, he helps people anyway - no more sitting around in stripjoints. And a lot of that probably has to do with Angel calling him a hero, since this was one of the disputed points in Destiny:
Spike: “Here we are, then. Two vampire heroes... competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment.”
Angel: “Is that what you think you are—a hero?”
So I think, that Spike slowly comes to understand, that what he wants to be - what he is - is a champion. And this is made clear, IMHO, after Fred dies, and he stays in LA (rather than become a 'rouge demonhunter'), and starts working with Angel (more or less).
SPIKE: This is what she would have wanted. It's what *I* want. I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important, what's happening here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine. The fight's comin', Angel. We both feel it... and it's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than Illyria. Things are gonna get ugly. That's where I live.
ETA: And Angel at this point sees him as an equal. From A Hole In The World:
Drogyn: "The power to draw back Illyria lies in there. It requires a champion who has traveled from where it lies to where it belongs."
Angel: "You got two of those right here."
-----------
Now Angel sold out. He gave up the world (and his redemption?) to save Connor. But I think this in the end makes it easier for Angel. When Cordy gives him the visions (or vision, as it turns out), he understands that he can’t concern himself with the small stuff anymore. He has too much power.
But Spike doesn’t. Spike never really becomes a part of W&H. He intuitively rejects it when Wesley and Gunn ask him to join (behind Angel’s back). And I think this is important to Angel. On some level Spike becomes the champion-child that Connor could never be. Because Spike wants to be a champion. He beats Angel to the Cup of Torment. He has always wanted things, and his ties to the world are much stronger than Angel’s. Even as a ghost, he is at times closer to the group than Angel.
And yes, I think Angel signs away the Shanshu. (Or at least he believes he does, which is what matters). Partly because it's part of the ruse, partly because this will re-stabilise the universe (the Senior Partners only fixed it temporarily), but maybe also because this way he gives Spike the chance for a normal life, that he gave Connor. And it's possible that he thinks that Spike deserves it more (although he’ll never admit it). Spike after all sought out a soul, rather than being cursed. Spike automatically started fighting the good fight, rather than sit around for a century brooding. And Spike is family - more younger brother than son, maybe - but the one who knows Angel best. And probably the only one who really understands him. They have so much in common, that it pulls them together. There might be a bit of the same vibe that Buffy-Spike had. Angel knows he can trust Spike, and that he doesn’t have to hold back with him. (And family is clearly a very important thing for Angel - he even goes back to Darla, Dru and Spike after the soul, so the ties must be very strong. And he was ready to die to give Darla another shot at life). And Angel has also had part of the Shanshu - he has a child!
So I think, that in the end Angel sees Spike as a successor, and not a usurper.
Also, just to finish, Spike gave Buffy the normal life she always wanted ('Death is your gift') and maybe he doesn't want to interfere. Because the reasons for the breakup with Angel also apply to Spike - he can't give her children. She will age, he won't. I think he might have his eyes on that Shanshu, and if he gets it, he can be 'the longhaul guy'!
ETA: Another factor for staying might be that for the first time in his life, Spike has actual friends. Angel's team accept him as he is and treat him as an equal, and I think that must be very important to him!
Essay: Why Spike stayed in LA and what role he filled in Angel's life
Most people I think see Spike on AtS as a replacement for Cordy - the one who tells Angel where to get off. Which is true to some extent, but I don’t think that’s how it feels to Angel.
So this is my theory as to how Spike replaced Connor in Angel’s world.
To start with Connor, I think that Angel (subconsciously at least) wanted Connor to become a Champion (that dream all fathers have of their son saying “I want to be just like you dad!”). From Deep Down:
Angel: "Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. - It's harsh, and cruel. - But that's why there's us. Champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be. - You're not a part of that yet. - I hope you will be."
And of course in Awakening it's part of the 'Perfect Day':
Connor: “... Is this what it feels like, being a champion?”
Angel: “Pretty much.”
Angel continually tries to reach out to Connor and explain to him the meaning of being a champion, but I think Connor is too damaged to go down that path. He has been so messed around (by Holtz and Evil!Cordy/Jasmine) that he cannot recognise real love, and does not understand that Angel loves him. From Home:
Angel: “Ok, look, let me say this. I love you, son.”
Connor: “It's a lie.”
Angel: “It's not.”
Connor: “It's always a lie.”
Post-mindwipe-Connor does however understand love. And, after getting his memories back, is able to look at what happened and see Angel’s love. But, understanding what Angel did for him, he chooses to take his new life and live. From Origin:
Connor: “Hey, can we... get outta here? I'd like to go back... see my parents. (puts down the axe) This whole fighting thing, I'm not... I'm not really sure it's for me.”
Of course in Not Fade Away, he comes back to help his father with Hamilton, but Angel sends him away to live the life that he gave him:
Angel: “Go home...now.”
Connor: “They'll destroy you.”
Angel: “As long as you're OK, they can't... Go!”
--------------------------------------------
Spike on the other hand is not a damaged child, and he has always understood love. He might blame Angel(us) for making him what he became. From Destiny:
Spike: “Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster.”
But he doesn’t need Angel to fix him. Spike had no prophecies, no higher powers telling him what to do - he chose his own destiny. And (as I’ve come to see it) during the course of AtS s5 - he chose to be a champion! That was of course not the original intention when getting the soul. That was an extraordinary venture, but I don't think he ever had time to think about what it meant. First he was crazy, and then he had to help Buffy fight The First Evil. What the soul made him, was not something he contemplated. And then Buffy chose him as her Champion - he found a greater purpose!
But then he came back - as a ghost - and had many months to observe and ponder. He could see Angel struggle with his decision to take over W&H and he heard about the Shashu prophecy. He probably found out a great deal about what Angel Investigations did prior to taking on the lawfirm.
So when he chooses not to go to Buffy after he is re-corporealised, he is trying to find out who he is. He saved the world and died as a champion, but is that really who he is? Is it what he wants to be? From Harm's Way:
Spike: “I was on my way. Had a boat ticket and all. Then I put a little thinking into it. A man can't go out in a bloody blaze of glory, savin' the world, and then show up 3 months later, tumbling off a cruise ship in the south of France. I mean, I'd love to, don't get me wrong, but, uh, it's hard to top an exit like that.”
And I don't think it's really about Buffy - I think it's about him. Can you be a Champion and Love's Bitch? I don't think so - it's a matter of focus, and where your heart lies. Of course these two meshed for Spike in 'Chosen', but do they still? What does it mean to be a souled vampire?
So when ‘Doyle’ comes, Spike goes along with him, since he has nothing better to do, but he never trusts him completely.
In ‘Soul Purpose’ Angel has the magically-induced nightmares of Spike usurping him. And he wakes up to find the dream coming true - Spike is the Peoples Champion, he helps the helpless. (I’ve seen Spike described as ‘Spike, the Vampire Slayer’ at this point.)
Now looking at this from a story-arch point of view, at the exact time ‘Doyle’ gets taken away, Spike gets something much more important - Angel’s respect! From You're Welcome:
Cordelia: “And you called this guy the big hero?”
Spike (to Angel): “You called me a hero?”
Angel: “I didn't know you were eating people.”
Spike: “It was a taste test, you git.”
He obviously gets a bit unsettled by the fact that he has been played by Lindsey, but from then on, he helps people anyway - no more sitting around in stripjoints. And a lot of that probably has to do with Angel calling him a hero, since this was one of the disputed points in Destiny:
Spike: “Here we are, then. Two vampire heroes... competing to wet our whistle with a drink of light, refreshing torment.”
Angel: “Is that what you think you are—a hero?”
So I think, that Spike slowly comes to understand, that what he wants to be - what he is - is a champion. And this is made clear, IMHO, after Fred dies, and he stays in LA (rather than become a 'rouge demonhunter'), and starts working with Angel (more or less).
SPIKE: This is what she would have wanted. It's what *I* want. I don't really like you. Suppose I never will. But this is important, what's happening here. Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine. The fight's comin', Angel. We both feel it... and it's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than Illyria. Things are gonna get ugly. That's where I live.
ETA: And Angel at this point sees him as an equal. From A Hole In The World:
Drogyn: "The power to draw back Illyria lies in there. It requires a champion who has traveled from where it lies to where it belongs."
Angel: "You got two of those right here."
-----------
Now Angel sold out. He gave up the world (and his redemption?) to save Connor. But I think this in the end makes it easier for Angel. When Cordy gives him the visions (or vision, as it turns out), he understands that he can’t concern himself with the small stuff anymore. He has too much power.
But Spike doesn’t. Spike never really becomes a part of W&H. He intuitively rejects it when Wesley and Gunn ask him to join (behind Angel’s back). And I think this is important to Angel. On some level Spike becomes the champion-child that Connor could never be. Because Spike wants to be a champion. He beats Angel to the Cup of Torment. He has always wanted things, and his ties to the world are much stronger than Angel’s. Even as a ghost, he is at times closer to the group than Angel.
And yes, I think Angel signs away the Shanshu. (Or at least he believes he does, which is what matters). Partly because it's part of the ruse, partly because this will re-stabilise the universe (the Senior Partners only fixed it temporarily), but maybe also because this way he gives Spike the chance for a normal life, that he gave Connor. And it's possible that he thinks that Spike deserves it more (although he’ll never admit it). Spike after all sought out a soul, rather than being cursed. Spike automatically started fighting the good fight, rather than sit around for a century brooding. And Spike is family - more younger brother than son, maybe - but the one who knows Angel best. And probably the only one who really understands him. They have so much in common, that it pulls them together. There might be a bit of the same vibe that Buffy-Spike had. Angel knows he can trust Spike, and that he doesn’t have to hold back with him. (And family is clearly a very important thing for Angel - he even goes back to Darla, Dru and Spike after the soul, so the ties must be very strong. And he was ready to die to give Darla another shot at life). And Angel has also had part of the Shanshu - he has a child!
So I think, that in the end Angel sees Spike as a successor, and not a usurper.
Also, just to finish, Spike gave Buffy the normal life she always wanted ('Death is your gift') and maybe he doesn't want to interfere. Because the reasons for the breakup with Angel also apply to Spike - he can't give her children. She will age, he won't. I think he might have his eyes on that Shanshu, and if he gets it, he can be 'the longhaul guy'!
ETA: Another factor for staying might be that for the first time in his life, Spike has actual friends. Angel's team accept him as he is and treat him as an equal, and I think that must be very important to him!
no subject
Spike on the other hand is not a damaged child, and he has always understood love. [...]
Spike: “Drusilla sired me... but you... you made me a monster.”
I'd argue that Spike is, in fact, a damaged child. At the time he was turned, he behaved like a precocious but socially awkward child. Spike's later comment that dying made him feel alive for the first time is almost literally true. As a new vampire, everything was a fresh experience, as a newborn would see it, and the new circumstances helped him decide how to behave and who will be his companions (virtually his family). I'd imagine that much of what Spike learned came from Angel's obvious disapproval of eveything Spike did. I also get the feeling that a pre-souled Angelus would be a brutal proponent of the "school of hard knocks".
In any case, Spike did (IMO) have longstanding hurts that affected most of his "adult" relationships, but these issues became more apparent when Spike was dealing with de-souled Angelus or with Buffy.
As an example, remember how happy Spike was when Angelus showed up soulless, and yet how quickly that turned to misery as Angelus took Spike's place as alpha male? I'd guess that Spike caught on early in unlife that he'd always be second-best to Angelus, and anything he valued (including Dru and his self-image as the Big Bad) could be taken away on a whim. Even with Buffy, Spike suspected that he could be thrown over in a minute for Angel, and if he needed more evidence of not being part of the group, Buffy's refusal to acknowledge their relationship meant that Spike would always be the outsider looking in.
I think that Spike doesn't need Angel to "fix" him in the same way that an adult no longer looks to a parent to make things right. He still has issues only he can deal with, however. The one I'm thinking of here is that he can't stand to be left out or ignored. He needs to matter to people, despite his history of posturing as the rebel loner. I think his decision not to pursue Buffy after his return had to do with the prospect of finding himself on the margins of Buffy's day-to-day life again. He talks as if his reappearance would somehow negate his noble self-sacrifice (making staying away another noble act), but I think it's a cover for his fear that he will never be able to live up to that standard again, both in saving the world and in earning Buffy's declaration of love. As a dead hero, he gets much more respect than he thinks he will ever get as his old self. It's also a lot easier to be a glorious hero once than to be heroic day after day, and I think Spike fears he won't be up to the task, whether he returns to Buffy or joins Angel's team.
Nevertheless, he has little to lose as far as Angel's group are concerned. What he gains is perhaps more healing than Buffy's love. He is going straight to the source of his earliest hurts - his dealings with Angel himself. In becoming a colleague, rather than just the target of cheap shots, Spike can come to terms with that "never good enough" feeling. In becoming a member of the team, he gets to regain a kind of family so he's no longer the perennial outsider.
As far as what might happen beyond NFA, I doubt that the issue of not giving Buffy a "normal life", (e.g., children) would keep Spike away indefinitely. He's too curious and too much of a romantic to leave that alone. Angel's position on that issue was based on a very young Buffy, her protective mother, and the assumption that Buffy really had a shot at normal life. I think if Spike resolved some of his self-esteem issues, he would be ready to try one last time with Buffy.
I should add the disclaimer that my comments on AtS season 5 are primarily based on reading so I could be completely talking out of my ass. Be kind.
no subject
Well - about the 'damaged child'. What I meant was, that Connor had a completely messed up childhood and then he was screwed around by everyone, so he became unable to deal with the world in a normal way. William had a 'normal' childhood with a loving mother - after his turning of course he got majorly messed up - by his mother after he turned her, by Angelus, by Dru... but because he had that stable base to build on when everything else fell apart, he was able to pick himself up again. Does that make sense?
And yes, Spike is very insecure when it comes down to it. And I liked this whole paragraph:
Nevertheless, he has little to lose as far as Angel's group are concerned. What he gains is perhaps more healing than Buffy's love. He is going straight to the source of his earliest hurts - his dealings with Angel himself. In becoming a colleague, rather than just the target of cheap shots, Spike can come to terms with that "never good enough" feeling. In becoming a member of the team, he gets to regain a kind of family so he's no longer the perennial outsider.
That's exactly what I was trying to say!
And yes, I firmly believe that some day they'll run into each other and make a life together! I believe in Spuffy!
(Can I also just add that 'The Summer After' is now up to part 5? I'd love to know what you think of it!)
And lastly - thank you SO MUCH for the pressie! I swear Christmas has come early this year! ::Does the Numfar Dance of Joy::
no subject
Ah. Yes, it makes perfect sense. Had I seen enough of AtS, I'd have known that about Connor. You're right, William had a much better start in life. I still think Spike has some deep wounds, but they haven't kept him from being able to enjoy life.
I, too, am a Spuffy optimist. I just can't let it go.
I will definitely catch up with your fic, and I'm glad you like your little present!
no subject
ANGEL: How old were you when you realized you could track like this?
CONNOR: I don't know. Five, six. We didn't exactly celebrate birthdays in Quor-Toth. Holtz made up a game so I could practice.
ANGEL: What do you mean he'd hide things for you to find?
CONNOR: Kind of. He'd tie me to a tree and then run away.
ANGEL: (shocked, stops walking) What?
CONNOR: (shrugs) You know, so I'd have to escape and then find him. One time it only took me five days.
ANGEL: Five days. He abandoned you... Connor, that's terrible. That's—
CONNOR: (unfazed) Why I'm so good at tracking.
See - completely screwed up!
I will definitely catch up with your fic, and I'm glad you like your little present!
Squee! Much rejoicing! :)