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I can think of no adequate description, except pure crack! Well... Sorta.
So, shortly after AGMGTW there were a lot of discussions about what impact the revelation at the end had on people and the show. One discussion in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
owlsie’s LJ turned rather silly (/understatement), although funnily enough a good amount of our silly speculations turned out to come true in LKH, albeit in a slightly different way to what we envisaged. The post in question is flocked, but owlsie kindly allowed me to copy and paste the relevant parts, because I wanted to share it... Click on the cut to see why! :)
(I know I still have comments to reply to from last night's LKH meta. I'll get there, but I was just feeling in a silly mood.)
the_redjay
I'm curious -- how has this affected your Doctor/River ship? Because... Hard as I try, it's not bothering mine all that much, and who she is, is starting to grow on me something fierce.
owlsie
For the first couple of days I was so annoyed with it my shipping died a bit. But I've started shipping them like mad again and I guess as long as there's no creepy groomy stuff, I'll ship them for ever and ever.
elisi
If anything [if he finds her when she's little], it'll be "No I am NOT evil please don't try to kill me all the time, the people who stole you were MISINFORMED. Well. Sort of. I was trying to save you! I'm sorry I couldn't. Look, shall we get some ice cream? Ice cream isn't evil, is it?"
owlsie
Don't SHOOT the ice cream!
owlsie
The zoo is probably a bad idea too. Cute, fluffy animals = target practice.
elisi
"Look, if you don't stop this I'm taking the gun off you!"
"If you take the gun away I'm going to scream 'Stranger danger!' at the top of my voice!"
"... OK, you win. But try not to shoot at the endangered species."
"What do you mean? From a non-linear, non-subjective point of view none of them are endangered."
the_redjay
"Oh, you've broken into the big words! There's my little Time Head."
"Doctor?"
"Mhhm?"
"I'll scream if you call me that, too."
promethia_tenk
Well, now all I can think about is this:
"What is she doing?"
"Little girl just killed a lion. I'd say, whatever the hell she wants . . ."
owlsie
later that day...
"What are you drawing Melody? ...Ooh, it's me! ...Dead. Okay, crayon time is over."
elisi
"I hate you!"
"No, you don't."
"YES I DO!"
"... OK, fair enough."
owlsie
"Please stop trying to kill me in my sleep, Melody."
"I will if you let me try rum."
"Fine. Don't tell your mother."
elisi
And now I'm imagining older!River confiding in the Doctor the effect he had on her the first time they properly met (you know, the speech she gave Rory) and the Doctor being completely baffled:
"But... you bit me. And then tried to hit me over the head with a cricket bat. Much like your mother..."
"Well I didn't have gun. And you were freaking me out."
"Right. I'm... sorry? No. Wait. Why am I apologising for you hitting me?"
"Because you're stupid?"
The Doctor buries his head in his hands and mutters glumly stuff about about WOMEN!
"Oh dear. Are you Mr Grumpyface today?"
"GAH!"
[Subthread]
the_redjay
Even if you don't like strawberry you could have just told me. Blech. Who likes strawberry? Strawberries are bad. I don't like strawberry either. Right, chocolate? Vanilla? Raspberry ripple? Rum and rai- no, don't give you rum and raisin yet. Not till you're older."
elisi
And now I'm suddenly imagining the Doctor and Melody travelling around with Avery and his son.
"NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED LOADED GUNS FOR PLAYING PIRATES WITH!"
"You're not FAIR! I'm immortal and Toby's ship has a really good mechanical doctor!"
[insert two scowling, unyielding father figures]
"Well, can we try some rum at least?"
owlsie
Hahaha. Imagine how terrified the other kids would be of her in daycare.
elisi
Can you imagine the stories she'd tell them?
"I grew up in a HAUNTED orphanage, with these creepy aliens that could make you do anything and you wouldn't remember, and then a spacesuit ATE me, and my birth mother tried to SHOOT me, and then I ran away and DIED! But I got better."
Other children: Can't sleep.
~~~
See? We totally called it! Although thankfully she wasn't little and there was no squick! \o/
owlsie’s LJ turned rather silly (/understatement), although funnily enough a good amount of our silly speculations turned out to come true in LKH, albeit in a slightly different way to what we envisaged. The post in question is flocked, but owlsie kindly allowed me to copy and paste the relevant parts, because I wanted to share it... Click on the cut to see why! :)(I know I still have comments to reply to from last night's LKH meta. I'll get there, but I was just feeling in a silly mood.)
the_redjay
I'm curious -- how has this affected your Doctor/River ship? Because... Hard as I try, it's not bothering mine all that much, and who she is, is starting to grow on me something fierce.
owlsie
For the first couple of days I was so annoyed with it my shipping died a bit. But I've started shipping them like mad again and I guess as long as there's no creepy groomy stuff, I'll ship them for ever and ever.
elisi
If anything [if he finds her when she's little], it'll be "No I am NOT evil please don't try to kill me all the time, the people who stole you were MISINFORMED. Well. Sort of. I was trying to save you! I'm sorry I couldn't. Look, shall we get some ice cream? Ice cream isn't evil, is it?"
owlsie
Don't SHOOT the ice cream!
owlsie
The zoo is probably a bad idea too. Cute, fluffy animals = target practice.
elisi
"Look, if you don't stop this I'm taking the gun off you!"
"If you take the gun away I'm going to scream 'Stranger danger!' at the top of my voice!"
"... OK, you win. But try not to shoot at the endangered species."
"What do you mean? From a non-linear, non-subjective point of view none of them are endangered."
the_redjay
"Oh, you've broken into the big words! There's my little Time Head."
"Doctor?"
"Mhhm?"
"I'll scream if you call me that, too."
promethia_tenk
Well, now all I can think about is this:
"What is she doing?"
"Little girl just killed a lion. I'd say, whatever the hell she wants . . ."
owlsie
later that day...
"What are you drawing Melody? ...Ooh, it's me! ...Dead. Okay, crayon time is over."
elisi
"I hate you!"
"No, you don't."
"YES I DO!"
"... OK, fair enough."
owlsie
"Please stop trying to kill me in my sleep, Melody."
"I will if you let me try rum."
"Fine. Don't tell your mother."
elisi
And now I'm imagining older!River confiding in the Doctor the effect he had on her the first time they properly met (you know, the speech she gave Rory) and the Doctor being completely baffled:
"But... you bit me. And then tried to hit me over the head with a cricket bat. Much like your mother..."
"Well I didn't have gun. And you were freaking me out."
"Right. I'm... sorry? No. Wait. Why am I apologising for you hitting me?"
"Because you're stupid?"
The Doctor buries his head in his hands and mutters glumly stuff about about WOMEN!
"Oh dear. Are you Mr Grumpyface today?"
"GAH!"
[Subthread]
the_redjay
Even if you don't like strawberry you could have just told me. Blech. Who likes strawberry? Strawberries are bad. I don't like strawberry either. Right, chocolate? Vanilla? Raspberry ripple? Rum and rai- no, don't give you rum and raisin yet. Not till you're older."
elisi
And now I'm suddenly imagining the Doctor and Melody travelling around with Avery and his son.
"NO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED LOADED GUNS FOR PLAYING PIRATES WITH!"
"You're not FAIR! I'm immortal and Toby's ship has a really good mechanical doctor!"
[insert two scowling, unyielding father figures]
"Well, can we try some rum at least?"
owlsie
Hahaha. Imagine how terrified the other kids would be of her in daycare.
elisi
Can you imagine the stories she'd tell them?
"I grew up in a HAUNTED orphanage, with these creepy aliens that could make you do anything and you wouldn't remember, and then a spacesuit ATE me, and my birth mother tried to SHOOT me, and then I ran away and DIED! But I got better."
Other children: Can't sleep.
See? We totally called it! Although thankfully she wasn't little and there was no squick! \o/