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And Then The TARDIS Fell Into Pete’s World. Chapter 4.
I did mention procrastinating, didn't I? Here's the result. And I know I promised you more Rory, I'll get there in the next chapter, honestly!
Previouslies here. :)
Title: And Then The TARDIS Fell Into Pete’s World.
Rating: PG
Characters: TenToo, Rose, Eleven, Amy, Rory, River, Jackie.
Genre: AU crack!fic.
Spoilers: ALL OF S5 OMG!!!!
Setting: Post-The Big Bang.
Summary: The TARDIS falls into Pete’s World. Stuff happens. (I don’t know yet. It’s a thing in progress. Respect the thing.)
Wordcount: Approx 1400 words.
Chapter 4
For a few seconds there was silence as Jackie surveyed them in disbelief, but then the New Doctor took a step forward, grabbed hold of her shoulders, and kissed her firmly on both cheeks.
“Jackie Tyler, wonderful to see you! You haven’t changed a bit!”
This latest version of the Doctor obviously seemed able to do what none of the others had: Render Rose’s mother speechless.
Although Rose was distracted from this unusual sight by a barely audible whisper from River.
“Oh Doctor, you shouldn’t have...”
Jackie’s silence, of course, was never going to last long.
“No...” she said, and the New Doctor smiled.
“Oh yes.”
“It’s not! Honestly, Doctor is that you?”
“The one, the only, and the best!” he said, winking at Rose’s Doctor who could only stare, stunned.
“...I’m sorry?”
The New Doctor’s face clouded over.
“Ah. Of course. Jackson Lake was after your time. That was supposed to have been a little in-joke...”
Jackie shook her head and cut through his apology.
“So you’ve got new face? Again? Oh this is ridiculous!”
“Trust me, you don’t know the half of it,” River cut in, holding out her hand to Jackie.
“Doctor River Song, and I am more thrilled to meet you than you can imagine.”
Jackie looked distinctly taken aback, and cautiously took the proffered hand, looking River over from curly hair to sturdy, stylish boots, and seemed unable to make up her mind.
“Really? Why?”
River smiled widely.
“Before he met you he’d never been slapped by anyone’s mother, which I refused to believe, but he swore blind that it was true. Nine hundred years - thank goodness you came along to teach him some sense. What did he do by the way? He left out that part of the story.”
“Kidnapped her for a year!” Jackie replied, pointing to Rose, and River raised an eyebrow. The New Doctor looked uncomfortable.
“Just went off for a few adventures and, you know, meant to leave a 12 hour gap in her time. But the TARDIS... well, it ended up as 12 months.”
“Ah,” River commented drily. “The usual.”
Amy made an odd dismissive sound. “Only twelve months? Consider yourself lucky!”
“Excuse me?” Jackie asked. “And who are you?”
“Amy Pond. Nice to meet you. When I was seven years old he crashed into my garden. To cut a long story short, he promised me to be back in 5 minutes.”
“How long was it then?” Rose asked, curious, and Amy lifted an eyebrow.
“Twelve years!”
“Twelve years?” Jackie repeated, incredulous.
“Look-” the New Doctor cut in, “the TARDIS was breaking apart, the engines were phasing...”
“Twelve years-” Amy said, in the tone of voice that showed that she knew she was going to win the argument, “-and four psychiatrists!”
“Four?” Jackie said, eyes widening, and Rory pulled an embarrassed face.
“She... kept biting them.”
The New Doctor dragged a hand through his hair.
“But we re-wrote time...”
“Still had the psychiatrists, Raggedy Man!” Amy countered.
“You re-wrote time?” Rose’s Doctor cut in, shocked, and the New Doctor beamed.
“Ah yes. The universe was ending so I rebooted it. Big Bang 2! One of my better ideas, if I say so myself!”
“Apart from the part where you erased yourself from existence,” Amy observed, and the New Doctor smiled triumphantly.
“Ah but I had you, didn’t I?” he said, tapping her nose. “The Doctor and Amy Pond, and the days that came after all.”
“You... erased yourself...” Rose’s Doctor echoed, faintly, grasping onto Rose’s hand with more vigour than usual, and the New Doctor opened his arms to encompass them all.
“I did, but it all worked out as you can see. Brilliant story! A fairy tale as a matter of fact. Why don’t we go get a cup of tea and tell you the whole thing?”
“Story time is all well and good Doctor,” Jackie chimed in, “but thanks to you, I’m going to be late for picking up Tony from school.”
She shot the TARDIS a speculative look.
“Unless you wanna give us a lift?”
The New Doctor looked alarmed.
”What? No no no. She needs rest.”
Jackie frowned.
”She who?”
”The TARDIS! We just fell through the Void, and before that-”
Jackie folded her arms. “Oh come on, we’re just picking up one little boy, and not even going anywhere weird, just a few miles down the road. I’ll never make it in the car now, the traffic at this time of day is just atrocious!”
The New Doctor looked torn, but River shook her head and pulled out a TARDIS key.
“Oh stop being difficult, Darling. If it’s that much of a bother I’ll take her.”
Jackie turned to her sharply.
“What? You can fly that thing?”
River just smiled enigmatically and opened the door, and the New Doctor sighed deeply and waved his hand at River.
“Very well. Go on in! I’m coming.”
Head held high in triumph Jackie walked through the door, and then stopped.
“Oh. My. God! You’ve redecorated!”
The New Doctor smirked as she turned around in the doorway, staring at him, but his face fell as she continued.
“Do you think you could do something about my kitchen? I’ve had the builders in for weeks now, and they’re bloody useless! And Himself-” she pointed at Rose’s Doctor, “-just hides and says he doesn’t have the right tools.”
The New Doctor looked like he was trying to find the best way of saying ‘Absolutely not, no way, and also never!’ when River answered.
”Of course he’ll help,” she said, eyeing the New Doctor, eyes dancing. “For a start sonic screwdrivers are just wonderful for putting up shelves!”
Jackie slowly looked from one to the other.
“Listen - are you two married or something?”
For the longest moment no one spoke. The New Doctor was watching River with the most peculiar look on his face - part deer-caught-in-headlights, but (bizarrely) more like he was genuinely curious as to what her answer would be.
Finally River turned back to Jackie.
“It’s... complicated. Let’s just go with ‘Or Something’ for now. But come in and tell me where your son’s school is...”
When the two women had vanished inside, the New Doctor leaned sideways into Rose’s Doctor’s personal space, hands clasped together.
“I feel a sudden urge to apologise profusely for abandoning you here,” he said, and Rose’s Doctor lifted his eyebrows to comical heights.
“Better late than never, I suppose...” he replied, studying the New Doctor cooly, before the familiar devil-may-care smile lit up his face, and he slapped the New Doctor’s back.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. Love it here really. And - you might not know this - but I’ve got a bit of Donna’s voice tucked away, and that can shut up even Jackie Tyler, trust me!”
“Good. Good,” the New Doctor replied, not looking like he was feeling any better at all, and then Jackie stuck her head round the door.
“Look are you coming? Clock’s ticking!”
“It’s a time machine,” the New Doctor complained, shoulders hunched in frustration as he followed her inside, “How many times must I explain it?”
Then, a few seconds after the door had closed, the New Doctor opened it again, searching out Rose’s eyes.
“Rose - be a dear and pop the kettle on? I think I’ll be needing that cuppa a great deal by the time we get back.”
“Um... sure,” she replied, and he gave her happy thumbs up before abruptly rolling his eyes (presumably at something Jackie had said) and shutting the door again, the TARDIS cranking out of existence a moment later.
‘Great. I’m now the Doctor’s Tea Lady,” Rose thought to herself, and tried her best to smile at Amy and Rory. It wasn’t their fault that the Doctor was now a weirdo with a bow tie.
“Um... Doctor?” Rory asked, clearly a little unsure how to address Rose’s Doctor, but looking relieved when the response was an encouraging nod, “I don’t mean to be rude, but... would you mind explaining why there are two of you?”
Chapter 5.
Previouslies here. :)
Title: And Then The TARDIS Fell Into Pete’s World.
Rating: PG
Characters: TenToo, Rose, Eleven, Amy, Rory, River, Jackie.
Genre: AU crack!fic.
Spoilers: ALL OF S5 OMG!!!!
Setting: Post-The Big Bang.
Summary: The TARDIS falls into Pete’s World. Stuff happens. (I don’t know yet. It’s a thing in progress. Respect the thing.)
Wordcount: Approx 1400 words.
For a few seconds there was silence as Jackie surveyed them in disbelief, but then the New Doctor took a step forward, grabbed hold of her shoulders, and kissed her firmly on both cheeks.
“Jackie Tyler, wonderful to see you! You haven’t changed a bit!”
This latest version of the Doctor obviously seemed able to do what none of the others had: Render Rose’s mother speechless.
Although Rose was distracted from this unusual sight by a barely audible whisper from River.
“Oh Doctor, you shouldn’t have...”
Jackie’s silence, of course, was never going to last long.
“No...” she said, and the New Doctor smiled.
“Oh yes.”
“It’s not! Honestly, Doctor is that you?”
“The one, the only, and the best!” he said, winking at Rose’s Doctor who could only stare, stunned.
“...I’m sorry?”
The New Doctor’s face clouded over.
“Ah. Of course. Jackson Lake was after your time. That was supposed to have been a little in-joke...”
Jackie shook her head and cut through his apology.
“So you’ve got new face? Again? Oh this is ridiculous!”
“Trust me, you don’t know the half of it,” River cut in, holding out her hand to Jackie.
“Doctor River Song, and I am more thrilled to meet you than you can imagine.”
Jackie looked distinctly taken aback, and cautiously took the proffered hand, looking River over from curly hair to sturdy, stylish boots, and seemed unable to make up her mind.
“Really? Why?”
River smiled widely.
“Before he met you he’d never been slapped by anyone’s mother, which I refused to believe, but he swore blind that it was true. Nine hundred years - thank goodness you came along to teach him some sense. What did he do by the way? He left out that part of the story.”
“Kidnapped her for a year!” Jackie replied, pointing to Rose, and River raised an eyebrow. The New Doctor looked uncomfortable.
“Just went off for a few adventures and, you know, meant to leave a 12 hour gap in her time. But the TARDIS... well, it ended up as 12 months.”
“Ah,” River commented drily. “The usual.”
Amy made an odd dismissive sound. “Only twelve months? Consider yourself lucky!”
“Excuse me?” Jackie asked. “And who are you?”
“Amy Pond. Nice to meet you. When I was seven years old he crashed into my garden. To cut a long story short, he promised me to be back in 5 minutes.”
“How long was it then?” Rose asked, curious, and Amy lifted an eyebrow.
“Twelve years!”
“Twelve years?” Jackie repeated, incredulous.
“Look-” the New Doctor cut in, “the TARDIS was breaking apart, the engines were phasing...”
“Twelve years-” Amy said, in the tone of voice that showed that she knew she was going to win the argument, “-and four psychiatrists!”
“Four?” Jackie said, eyes widening, and Rory pulled an embarrassed face.
“She... kept biting them.”
The New Doctor dragged a hand through his hair.
“But we re-wrote time...”
“Still had the psychiatrists, Raggedy Man!” Amy countered.
“You re-wrote time?” Rose’s Doctor cut in, shocked, and the New Doctor beamed.
“Ah yes. The universe was ending so I rebooted it. Big Bang 2! One of my better ideas, if I say so myself!”
“Apart from the part where you erased yourself from existence,” Amy observed, and the New Doctor smiled triumphantly.
“Ah but I had you, didn’t I?” he said, tapping her nose. “The Doctor and Amy Pond, and the days that came after all.”
“You... erased yourself...” Rose’s Doctor echoed, faintly, grasping onto Rose’s hand with more vigour than usual, and the New Doctor opened his arms to encompass them all.
“I did, but it all worked out as you can see. Brilliant story! A fairy tale as a matter of fact. Why don’t we go get a cup of tea and tell you the whole thing?”
“Story time is all well and good Doctor,” Jackie chimed in, “but thanks to you, I’m going to be late for picking up Tony from school.”
She shot the TARDIS a speculative look.
“Unless you wanna give us a lift?”
The New Doctor looked alarmed.
”What? No no no. She needs rest.”
Jackie frowned.
”She who?”
”The TARDIS! We just fell through the Void, and before that-”
Jackie folded her arms. “Oh come on, we’re just picking up one little boy, and not even going anywhere weird, just a few miles down the road. I’ll never make it in the car now, the traffic at this time of day is just atrocious!”
The New Doctor looked torn, but River shook her head and pulled out a TARDIS key.
“Oh stop being difficult, Darling. If it’s that much of a bother I’ll take her.”
Jackie turned to her sharply.
“What? You can fly that thing?”
River just smiled enigmatically and opened the door, and the New Doctor sighed deeply and waved his hand at River.
“Very well. Go on in! I’m coming.”
Head held high in triumph Jackie walked through the door, and then stopped.
“Oh. My. God! You’ve redecorated!”
The New Doctor smirked as she turned around in the doorway, staring at him, but his face fell as she continued.
“Do you think you could do something about my kitchen? I’ve had the builders in for weeks now, and they’re bloody useless! And Himself-” she pointed at Rose’s Doctor, “-just hides and says he doesn’t have the right tools.”
The New Doctor looked like he was trying to find the best way of saying ‘Absolutely not, no way, and also never!’ when River answered.
”Of course he’ll help,” she said, eyeing the New Doctor, eyes dancing. “For a start sonic screwdrivers are just wonderful for putting up shelves!”
Jackie slowly looked from one to the other.
“Listen - are you two married or something?”
For the longest moment no one spoke. The New Doctor was watching River with the most peculiar look on his face - part deer-caught-in-headlights, but (bizarrely) more like he was genuinely curious as to what her answer would be.
Finally River turned back to Jackie.
“It’s... complicated. Let’s just go with ‘Or Something’ for now. But come in and tell me where your son’s school is...”
When the two women had vanished inside, the New Doctor leaned sideways into Rose’s Doctor’s personal space, hands clasped together.
“I feel a sudden urge to apologise profusely for abandoning you here,” he said, and Rose’s Doctor lifted his eyebrows to comical heights.
“Better late than never, I suppose...” he replied, studying the New Doctor cooly, before the familiar devil-may-care smile lit up his face, and he slapped the New Doctor’s back.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. Love it here really. And - you might not know this - but I’ve got a bit of Donna’s voice tucked away, and that can shut up even Jackie Tyler, trust me!”
“Good. Good,” the New Doctor replied, not looking like he was feeling any better at all, and then Jackie stuck her head round the door.
“Look are you coming? Clock’s ticking!”
“It’s a time machine,” the New Doctor complained, shoulders hunched in frustration as he followed her inside, “How many times must I explain it?”
Then, a few seconds after the door had closed, the New Doctor opened it again, searching out Rose’s eyes.
“Rose - be a dear and pop the kettle on? I think I’ll be needing that cuppa a great deal by the time we get back.”
“Um... sure,” she replied, and he gave her happy thumbs up before abruptly rolling his eyes (presumably at something Jackie had said) and shutting the door again, the TARDIS cranking out of existence a moment later.
‘Great. I’m now the Doctor’s Tea Lady,” Rose thought to herself, and tried her best to smile at Amy and Rory. It wasn’t their fault that the Doctor was now a weirdo with a bow tie.
“Um... Doctor?” Rory asked, clearly a little unsure how to address Rose’s Doctor, but looking relieved when the response was an encouraging nod, “I don’t mean to be rude, but... would you mind explaining why there are two of you?”
Chapter 5.