Excellent essay. Came on fer1213's recommendation, like a lot of the other commenters, very glad I did and am Friending you immediately.

I was particularly struck by your parallel of Spike's death and Joyce's, and her need to tell him she loved him before he died because she hadn't really done that with her mother.

There are lots of other good points and insights in your post, but other people have covered most of what I would have said if I'd been earlier.