This is RIDICULOUSLY late. Apologies. But I always get there in the end... I know, you had mentioned it, don’t worry ;)
Because he doesn't actually want Gallifrey, he wants (as Amy observed) to be forgiven. I’d say that he *does* want it since he has saved it now (heartbroken 12 in Death in Heaven), he has been *more* than forgiven, but yes, *obviously*, not to stay there, of course he'll run away again. It’s the difference between: “yaaay, I know where it is, I can drop by to see the old place and how [insert name of old friend/acquaintance/ family member here] is doing! And then run off again because GALAXIES AND STARS AND PLANETS and I need to save the Earth; in the meantime, LEAVE ME ALONE you dangerous dicks, I’ll come when I want, I’m not doing your errands again, I don’t wanna be President, I’m not telling you my secrets, GOD. Patience, I’ve saved you like a hundred times, all in good time, I’ll know if it’s an emergency. (travels around spreading his benevolent anarchy)”, and “Where is my planet, why can’t I go home for a bit, I haven’t seen another Gallifreyan in a thousand years, I’M SO ALONE (angsts)”, let’s say.
He loves his home, and wants it/them to love him back... Which he knows is foolish, I'm sure, but having spent 400 years living with the guilt of having killed them, it's understandable that he's not exactly emotionally clear-sighted. I wouldn’t say it’s that unreasonable or foolish a wish, it’s just a bit too perfect: Okay, yes, not everyone - and this *can* be REALLY serious, mind-blowingly painful, unjust and destructive as we saw, since it's usually those in power who don’t (oh, and a bit sad: he *is* a Time Lord too, Academy, rank and everything, even if he doesn't identify with the ruling class, hates their worldview, is a rebel, and they just usually view him with contempt/as a tool for their dirty work) - but after all, the common people, army, woman in the barn, non-arsehole Time Lords etc, were quite sympathetic/respectful/not dicks/even friendly towards him. And of course (and that’s generally the point), it *is* consciously foolish, in that his companions will almost always love him more. And vice versa. <3
ETA: Whom is 'Forgiven' by again? Oh, mine. That’s why I went into the whole description of how !intertextual! my average fic is. I’ve really been swamping you with *my* stuff. Do you want any not-made-by-me fic/video/something recommendations?
Thank YOU for sharing. <3 (hearts, rainbows, and unicorns)
Re: Slowly Claps Because Normal Clapping Is Insufficient
I know, you had mentioned it, don’t worry ;)
Because he doesn't actually want Gallifrey, he wants (as Amy observed) to be forgiven.
I’d say that he *does* want it since he has saved it now (heartbroken 12 in Death in Heaven), he has been *more* than forgiven, but yes, *obviously*, not to stay there, of course he'll run away again.
It’s the difference between: “yaaay, I know where it is, I can drop by to see the old place and how [insert name of old friend/acquaintance/ family member here] is doing! And then run off again because GALAXIES AND STARS AND PLANETS and I need to save the Earth; in the meantime, LEAVE ME ALONE you dangerous dicks, I’ll come when I want, I’m not doing your errands again, I don’t wanna be President, I’m not telling you my secrets, GOD. Patience, I’ve saved you like a hundred times, all in good time, I’ll know if it’s an emergency. (travels around spreading his benevolent anarchy)”, and “Where is my planet, why can’t I go home for a bit, I haven’t seen another Gallifreyan in a thousand years, I’M SO ALONE (angsts)”, let’s say.
He loves his home, and wants it/them to love him back... Which he knows is foolish, I'm sure, but having spent 400 years living with the guilt of having killed them, it's understandable that he's not exactly emotionally clear-sighted.
I wouldn’t say it’s that unreasonable or foolish a wish, it’s just a bit too perfect: Okay, yes, not everyone - and this *can* be REALLY serious, mind-blowingly painful, unjust and destructive as we saw, since it's usually those in power who don’t (oh, and a bit sad: he *is* a Time Lord too, Academy, rank and everything, even if he doesn't identify with the ruling class, hates their worldview, is a rebel, and they just usually view him with contempt/as a tool for their dirty work) - but after all, the common people, army, woman in the barn, non-arsehole Time Lords etc, were quite sympathetic/respectful/not dicks/even friendly towards him.
And of course (and that’s generally the point), it *is* consciously foolish, in that his companions will almost always love him more. And vice versa. <3
ETA: Whom is 'Forgiven' by again?
Oh, mine. That’s why I went into the whole description of how !intertextual! my average fic is.
I’ve really been swamping you with *my* stuff. Do you want any not-made-by-me fic/video/something recommendations?
Thank YOU for sharing. <3
(hearts, rainbows, and unicorns)