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Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.
(This post brought to you now because I need to stop reading about Sarah Palin and getting depressed. Let's mock the sparkle instead! More links than you can shake a shiny vampire at under the cut!
First of all, if you have NO IDEA what this whole thing is about, this admirably short comic sums it up in 4 panels: Twilight Sucks.
I also laughed a lot at this comic: Idiot's Guide to Vampire Fics, because - dude!
Anyway, this whole phenomenon was first brought to my attention by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shipperx (thank you!!!), who linked to shinga's chapter-by-chapter synopsis of Twilight, and it's still one of my favourite things ever!
Meanwhiletkp has a comic book style review (brilliant!) and buttfacemakani has a sort of acerbic running commentary thing.
And of course there'scleolinda who has the longest and most in-depth summaries - here's the one for Twilight. (Just follow tags and links for the rest!)
Also I'm sure a lot of you have by now come acrossstoney321 LDS Sparkledammerung - fabulous, fabulous summaries of all books, with lots of manips and SPARKLES!
otahyoni did a 'catalogue' review (it'll make sense when you see it), and avadriel also weighs in with a very scathing review.
But what about 'real' reviews? Here are the two I've come across:
Washington Post.
The Sunday Times.
(The second one a lot more polite ('cause it's English, don't you know) than the first, both are very interesting and with excellent observations.)
Of course there's also lots of wank (fandom_wank is enjoying the heck out of Twilight, and with good reason!)
For icons, go here! (Or just snag them from F_W - there are TONS and they're all wonderful.)
Aaaaaanyway, then we get Growing Up Cullen (lots of posts, just follow the tags), which has - joy of joy - pretty much become canon thanks to the leaked parts of 'Midnight Sun' ('Twilight' from Edward's POV). Growing Up Cullen is... hysterical, although you do get capslock fatigue after a while. (My favourite bit might just be this: I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE. IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES. COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM <-canon, I tells ya! Canon!)
Nearly there...cleolinda also has Midnight sun commentary, which is excellent! And the book actually makes Edward more interesting - which ties in with my final thing, which is R. Pattison (who played Cedric in HP, and who plays Edward in the Twilight movie) talking about his character:
"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."
The movie might just be worth watching...
Anyway - no, I haven't read any of the books and I don't plan on doing so (romance ain't really my *thing*, srsl). However I feel justified in mocking them, since I think their 'message' (not that they have one, because SMeyer doesn't do messages) is pretty awful (Girls - you are nothing without your man! Oh - and being beautiful is all that matters!). And now I HAVE to run - gah!
First of all, if you have NO IDEA what this whole thing is about, this admirably short comic sums it up in 4 panels: Twilight Sucks.
I also laughed a lot at this comic: Idiot's Guide to Vampire Fics, because - dude!
Anyway, this whole phenomenon was first brought to my attention by
shipperx (thank you!!!), who linked to shinga's chapter-by-chapter synopsis of Twilight, and it's still one of my favourite things ever!Meanwhile
tkp has a comic book style review (brilliant!) and buttfacemakani has a sort of acerbic running commentary thing.And of course there's
cleolinda who has the longest and most in-depth summaries - here's the one for Twilight. (Just follow tags and links for the rest!)Also I'm sure a lot of you have by now come across
stoney321 LDS Sparkledammerung - fabulous, fabulous summaries of all books, with lots of manips and SPARKLES! otahyoni did a 'catalogue' review (it'll make sense when you see it), and avadriel also weighs in with a very scathing review.But what about 'real' reviews? Here are the two I've come across:
Washington Post.
The Sunday Times.
(The second one a lot more polite ('cause it's English, don't you know) than the first, both are very interesting and with excellent observations.)
Of course there's also lots of wank (fandom_wank is enjoying the heck out of Twilight, and with good reason!)
For icons, go here! (Or just snag them from F_W - there are TONS and they're all wonderful.)
Aaaaaanyway, then we get Growing Up Cullen (lots of posts, just follow the tags), which has - joy of joy - pretty much become canon thanks to the leaked parts of 'Midnight Sun' ('Twilight' from Edward's POV). Growing Up Cullen is... hysterical, although you do get capslock fatigue after a while. (My favourite bit might just be this: I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE. IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES. COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM <-canon, I tells ya! Canon!)
Nearly there...
cleolinda also has Midnight sun commentary, which is excellent! And the book actually makes Edward more interesting - which ties in with my final thing, which is R. Pattison (who played Cedric in HP, and who plays Edward in the Twilight movie) talking about his character:"When you read the book," says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid and interesting even without makeup, "it's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.' I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."
The movie might just be worth watching...
Anyway - no, I haven't read any of the books and I don't plan on doing so (romance ain't really my *thing*, srsl). However I feel justified in mocking them, since I think their 'message' (not that they have one, because SMeyer doesn't do messages) is pretty awful (Girls - you are nothing without your man! Oh - and being beautiful is all that matters!). And now I HAVE to run - gah!